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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWalter Shaub - A Tale of Terror in the WH. :)
Link to tweet
https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1313601164802502657.html
Terrified White House staffers are popping Vitamin C like Pez and watching coworkers fill burn bags with documents, as they delete delete delete and try to remember what the IT guy said about the system backing up files automatically at the security training they attended buzzed.
Somebody coughs and they all freeze. Then, the intern vying for Chris Wrays job runs out of the room wailing, a deputy assistant to the president shoves his head in one of the burn bags to start chewing documents, and a man nobody knows kicks the desk where Jared likes to hide.
Stephen Millers checking out Argentine travel sites and wondering if he can take his brides temperature without her knowing before he decides how many tickets to buy, and Matt Schlapps probably wondering how much a client would pay him to take a sauna with Trump this week.
Hope may be dying for Trump, but theyll be damned if they dont get the silverware past the Secret Service. Its all so unfair Ivanka sighs, gripping the prop Bible purse woven by the hands of hungry children. A desperate Be Best rings in the hall, but no one really cares.
Somebody coughs and they all freeze. Then, the intern vying for Chris Wrays job runs out of the room wailing, a deputy assistant to the president shoves his head in one of the burn bags to start chewing documents, and a man nobody knows kicks the desk where Jared likes to hide.
Stephen Millers checking out Argentine travel sites and wondering if he can take his brides temperature without her knowing before he decides how many tickets to buy, and Matt Schlapps probably wondering how much a client would pay him to take a sauna with Trump this week.
Hope may be dying for Trump, but theyll be damned if they dont get the silverware past the Secret Service. Its all so unfair Ivanka sighs, gripping the prop Bible purse woven by the hands of hungry children. A desperate Be Best rings in the hall, but no one really cares.
LMAO
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Walter Shaub - A Tale of Terror in the WH. :) (Original Post)
Roland99
Oct 2020
OP
Nevilledog
(51,203 posts)1. Love Walter!
Hekate
(90,837 posts)2. Oh that's great stuff
NBachers
(17,149 posts)3. If Hunter Thompson was still with us, this is what he'd be writing.
Leghorn21
(13,526 posts)4. Walt Shaub, a true American Hero who survived on the front lines of this sewage-encrusted
administration as long as he possibly could - poor, dear man!! I just KNOW Joe Biden will bring Walter back to his old digs and have him once again stand guard over a long-forgotten notion in government: ETHICS, motherfuckers!! Fair play!! Honesty! Doing RIGHT!!
A National Treasure, this gentle man!!!
BigmanPigman
(51,635 posts)7. Hear, hear!
Grasswire2
(13,571 posts)5. Walt and Charlie Pierce are what keep my spirits up.
What a pair.
".....kicks the desk where Jared likes to hide..."
Hahahah!
Walt told us today that much of his dialogue comes from old B-grade gangster movies.
Roland99
(53,342 posts)10. Reminded me of Costanza's desk bed on Seinfeld!
burrowowl
(17,653 posts)6. Too true!
not fooled
(5,801 posts)8. It's every rat for itself
as they flee the sinking ship!
Dem2theMax
(9,655 posts)9. Oh, I need sleep.
I was trying to make sense out of this when I first started reading it.
My brain didn't kick in till the third paragraph to tell me that this wasn't real.
Where's my bed? It's time to crawl in.