Borowitz: Romney in Final Push to Alienate Remaining Voters

[highplainsdem]

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/09/romney-in-final-push-to-alienate-remaining-voters.html

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—With just forty-three days to go until the election, Mitt Romney is in a race against time to offend the few voters he has not already alienated, his campaign manager said today.

“So far, Mitt’s efforts to make voters dislike him have gone exactly as planned,” said the campaign manager Matt Rhoades. “But let’s not kid ourselves—we’ve still got a few supporters out there and we’ve got to find ways to piss them off.”

As Mr. Romney embarked on a bus tour with the goal of spreading additional unease about his candidacy, his campaign manager reflected on a program of systematic alienation that has so far “worked like clockwork.”

-snip-

Mr. Rhoades also credited the addition of Rep. Paul Ryan to the ticket for being “invaluable” in scaring off potential voters: “Mitt knew he could get booed off the stage at the N.A.A.C.P., but it takes someone special to get booed off the stage at the A.A.R.P.”

-snip-

Read it all at the link. Wish I could quote all of it here...especially the last paragraph, which you have to see.

[byronius]

1. Classic.

[Larkspur]

2. Satarist Borowitz offers the only logical explanation for the Romney Campaign's strategy

It's not ineptitude, it's intentionally trying to lose in a landslide.
They're probably upset that there are still too many Red states and there is no way right now that the Southern states want to be seen in Union blue.