A story the world needs right now: "Nudist chases wild boar who snatched his laptop"

[kpete]

BERLIN - A German nudist had the last laugh after giving chase to a wild boar that had run off with a bag containing his laptop.

Pictures posted on social media show the naked man running after a sow and her two piglets to the mirth of fellow bathers at Berlin's Teufelssee, or Devil's Lake.

Link to tweet

?s=20
https://www.fox5ny.com/news/nudist-chases-wild-boar-who-snatched-his-laptop

[marble falls]

1. I belive it was for the sammy tucked in beside it.

[yellowcanine]

2. What kind of boarish behavior is that?

[Cirque du So-What]

3. OK, who had wild boars snatching laptops from nudists on their 2020 bingo card?

Correction: that’s a sow, not a boar.

[Sneederbunk]

4. Setting a bad example for the piglets who seem to be in on it.

[csziggy]

10. Momhog is just teaching her young survival tactics

What wild pig doesn't need a good laptop these days to stay in touch with friends and family?

[not_the_one]

5. I tan nude on my back deck, (WITH the appropriate privacy barrier, of course)

wouldn't want to offend/arouse any of the neighbors...

But there HAS been this hedgehog hanging around, acting suspicious.

And I KNOW there have been numerous squirrels eyeing my nuts... I think they MAY be coordinating some plan of attack with the chipmunks...

Precautions ARE being taken.

So far, the deer, bears or skunk (singular) have expressed no apparent interest. But they COULD be trying to lull me into a false sense of security.

I love the Poconos.

[Delphinus]

8. Love it!

[csziggy]

15. Here is a story to make you re-think your habits

Originally posted to Twitter, now shared all over the internet:

Aaron Reynolds

@aaronreynolds

I’ve started a new evening ritual: I leave all my technology inside except my Walkman, and I get into the hammock in the back yard and listen to an album from start to finish.

My cat has been curious about this new habit, and I’ve been trying to coax him into the hammock —
Tonight was some Rolling Stones — I’ve never really given them a fair shake, so I’m working through the Stones in Mono box set — and like clockwork, my big grey lump of a cat shows up. I make some space and start patting the hammock and asking him to jump up —
And to my delight, he decides to climb into the hammock! Except not in a very cat-like way. Huh.

At this point I should let you know that my backyard is very dark and I don’t see well.
I have just invited a raccoon into the hammock with me and the raccoon has obliged.
The raccoon stares at me for a while. Like, “you invited me up here, now what”

Now what indeed
So I very slowly put one foot down and then the other on either side of the hammock and slowly try to stand up. I’m maintaining eye contact with the raccoon as if my life depends on it.
Here is my second miscalculation of the evening: as I take my weight off of the hammock, the raccoon starts to slide towards the middle.

I am straddling the hammock and the raccoon is sliding straight at my crotch and all I can think of is the laser scene in Goldfinger.
I chuckle a little. The raccoon doesn’t like this noise. Or he doesn’t like the sliding, or both. He tries to turn around and climb back to his end of the hammock but instead now I’m straddling the raccoon like I’m playing horsey with it.
I shout something, maybe “Christ”? I don’t know. The raccoon also makes a kind of disgruntled old man noise that probably means the same thing.
I do a profoundly inelegant dismount, bringing one leg up way too high to get it over the raccoon and end up falling on the ground.

The raccoon looks down at me from the hammock. He grunts. He settles in.
The raccoon is outside in what I assume is now his hammock.

I am inside on the couch with ice on my groin because I definitely pulled something.
Anyways I’m still not a fan of the Rolling Stones.

More, since some of the responses included on the page are great: https://threadreaderapp.com/embed/1275287134203777030.html

[Dem2theMax]

16. I did this when I got to the part where the story totally changes.

That could have gone all sorts of wrong!
Thank you so much for posting this! I'm sharing!

[Bayard]

6. I sent this to my niece in Germany,

And asked, if this was a common occurrence there?

[3catwoman3]

7. We're I naked outdoors, I think being near...

...a wild boar might not be the best idea.

[Generic Brad]

9. That appears to be a dancing pig

It is doing the box step.

[Initech]

11. Someone needs to put the Benny Hill music to this video!

&t=38s

[Sancho]

12. Run Babe Run!

[oasis]

13. Was the boar hired by a potential blackmailer?

Now, that would be "news". Otherwise, it's garden variety, "dog bites man stuff".

[Bettie]

14. I wonder what he thought he was going to DO

once he got to the boar?