Trump Replaces Mary Trump with Kayleigh McEnany as Niece

[Zorro]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the latest shakeup in his inner circle, Donald Trump has named the White House press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, to the position of niece, replacing Mary Trump, effective immediately.

With only three and a half months to go until the election, replacing family members could be seen as a sign of desperation, political insiders said.

But, according to a White House source, the decision to replace Mary Trump with McEnany was a “no-brainer.”

“The President wanted a niece who could rewrite history, and Kayleigh has proven every day that she can do that,” the source said.

McEnany will continue in her role as press secretary in addition to niece, and will refer to Trump as “Uncle President.”

As for Mary Trump, she will remain a member of the Trump family, but has been demoted from niece to third cousin.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-replaces-mary-trump-with-kayleigh-mcenany-as-niece

[LakeArenal]

1. Oh use Ivanka. Then she can be his sister-wife/daughter/love interest AND niece.

[sop]

2. I thought Kayleigh was Tiffany's stand-in.

Someone probably convinced Trump his daughter Tiffany was working at the White House. And they do sort of look alike.

[Ohiogal]

3. How does Andy Borowitz

NEVER disappoint? I laugh out loud every time.

[keithbvadu2]

4. He replaced Melania with Ivanka's surrogate; Stormy.

He replaced Melania with Ivanka's surrogate; Stormy.