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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsHusband of woman in viral racist tirade video gives different side of story on what happened
https://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/husband-of-woman-in-viral-racist-tirade-video-gives-different-side-of-s
Bob Harrian, who is the husband of the woman in the now-notorious video, offered an explanation on what happened.
Harrian said for over a year, his wife has developed paranoia and signs of fabrication following a break-in incident, and it has been happening in front of family members, friends, and members of their local church. The level of paranoia has also created episodes of mental health concerns.
Harrian said he has tried to get treatment for his wife, but has failed at doing so. He said he was astounded by the video, but also said this might be the proof that he needs to explain to his wife that she can be a detriment to herself.
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I knew a psychotically paranoid woman, and I think that this is important context.
OAITW r.2.0
(24,610 posts)Some people are mentally ill and we can't tell in a 2 minute video. It's anti-social behavior, but we need to consider them as we would others who mimic our perspective and are equally uncontrollable, save for a husband or wife that has to live with this person's mental illness.
My advice look/watch, but wait and don't react until you know the entire story.
ahimsa
(426 posts)And I dont know if we really know the truth yet..
OAITW r.2.0
(24,610 posts)We don't know.
We see a video/photo - filter thru our biases and immediately create a conclusion. Win?
I think engaging without making immediate comment is always the smart tack.....
brush
(53,865 posts)she's going to get someone seriously hurt assaulting people like she did that young ladyeither herself or someone else if racist cops show up and take her side.
scarletwoman
(31,893 posts)dalton99a
(81,577 posts)The Trump cult tends to attract crazies
brush
(53,865 posts)She's a danger to herself and others.
tulipsandroses
(5,127 posts)Every state has civil commitment laws.
dalton99a
(81,577 posts)tulipsandroses
(5,127 posts)As a lawyer, I imagine he has resources to healthcare. Unlike, lets say someone that works a minimum wage job.
He also said he has been trying to get her help for a year. Call me a cynic, but its hard to imagine that in calling around to get her help, that it was not suggested.
OrwellwasRight
(5,170 posts)If she is even marginally functional, she likely would not meet it.
Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)I have never been diagnosed as anything but clinical depression and avoidant personality disorder. My mother had the cops where I live convinced along with numerous other people she was going around telling that I was paranoid schizophrenic. My therapist disagrees, but my mother still had everyone and their grandmother convinced.
The fact that I was not and am not a danger to anyone and that I could prove it is the only thing that saved my ass. She was gunning to have me committed to take control of my aunt's estate when she died and to take away everything of mine that belongs to me as well. Proving I was no danger to anyone is the only thing that saved me. She was going around making up stuff and the cops where I live are still convinced. Lucky for me, therapists/psychologists know their job better than the police and my mother know their job. My reputation will never be repaired because of my greedy mother. She is the one who spent time in a mental institution until Reagan let her out and made the rest of my childhood and adult life a living hell.
Demsrule86
(68,667 posts)very tough to get help.They put someone in hospital for seven days usually...then meds and a release...My daughter has been in counseling of course and on a variety of meds...this year, we found a better nurse practitioner for the meds when she spent a week in hospital...and she is doing much better. She had been diagnosed incorrectly. The meds prescribed worsened her condition. We are lucky she is alive.
It has been four years. She tried to kill herself three times in four years. She overdosed on sleeping pills this last time and she tried to hang herself. in a previous attempt. The idea that you put people in hospital for enough time is wrong. It doesn't happen. It has been horrible. It is hard to find a doctor or nurse for the medicine...it is hard to find counselors. Honestly, it is a nightmare.And it is expensive. This is the first time there is light at the end of the tunnel. I tell my story because maybe it will help someone else.
MaryMagdaline
(6,856 posts)I hope you and your daughter find peace
tulipsandroses
(5,127 posts)so I understand it can be challenging. I have also had to involuntary admit family members. In no way am I saying that you put people in the hospital for long enough time. A civil commitment is usually to get an evaluation. Every state has laws on how long a person can be held for that evaluation. As far as how long you will be treated - that depends on the insurance company and how many days they are willing to pay for. Unfortunately, the way mental health is funded, no insurance means that quite often you are kept for the minimum of what the state law is.
I work in a community mental health clinic that services low income clients that come from all over the county. I would suggest that you check to see if your state has community mental health clinics. We see patients at little to no cost. Also most meds are low cost if they are on an Indigent Drug Program. Hope you find some help for your daughter.
okaawhatever
(9,462 posts)hardluck
(640 posts)Had to go through that with my father. 15 years of trying to manage his mental illness. Even was shot by a cop in a suicide by cop thing and lived. Its a criminal beyond a reasonable doubt standard in my state. Oh he had many 5150s, but civil commitment, nah.
I have tremendous empathy for families dealing with mental illness. So very difficult.
tulipsandroses
(5,127 posts)A 5150 is civil commitment. Known by different names depending on the state.
When I lived in GA it was 1013 - 2013 for substance abuse
Here in FL it is the Baker Act
All of these are civil commitments. There are processes to extend these commitments past the mandatory days. Whether or not that is pursued that is another story.
Managing mental illness is challenging. I know this from a professional and personal standpoint.
dsc
(52,166 posts)I am not a lawyer but I have had some experience with trying this sort of thing and the standard is very, very, very hard to meet. I can easily believe that he couldn't get her committed despite being a lawyer.
tulipsandroses
(5,127 posts)I am a psych NP that has family members that have mental health issues. It is the reason I was drawn to this field.
cally
(21,596 posts)for adult family members. Our mental health system is broken. You can commit fior a few days but it will not fix long term problems. The current crisis is adding to many mental health breakdowns
tulipsandroses
(5,127 posts)That is a separate conversation from what seems to have happened in this case.
Civil commitment often opens the door for the person to start treatment. In no way am I suggesting that having someone involuntarily admitted, fixes a long term health issue.
Beakybird
(3,333 posts)I watched the video and find the husband believable. Yes, he has possibly enabled her by not forcing her to get help.
It is almost impossible to get a paranoid person into treatment because they can't trust anyone. Maybe she can be treated. I'm glad she ain't in my life!
Nevilledog
(51,197 posts)Saying he can't get help for her, thinks showing her the video will make a difference once she sees it? Maybe the help he's been trying is the pray it away kind.
I can't think of a single qualified therapist that would treat someone who is paranoid by showing the person a video of paranoid behavior.
Maybe I'm wrong.
2naSalit
(86,779 posts)She may be deranged but if she was that much of a problem, why was she allowed to go to a convenience store on her own?
I don't buy it, she's entitled and probably pissed her group of loudmouthed assholes is losing their grip on power over everyone else.
Nevilledog
(51,197 posts)Beakybird
(3,333 posts)If you watch the news video, the news team was able to establish that there was a crisis management team at their home.
I had more schadenfreude than anyone when that lady was slapped, but now I think that her behavior is congruent with mental illness.
2naSalit
(86,779 posts)She was inappropriately aggressive toward a stranger who actually snapped her out of it by slapping her. It wasn't like she landed on the floor, out cold, so I guess it did the trick. Perhaps the woman's instant freak out was more a recognition of an episode and that she suddenly came to her senses. Whatever it was, the response by the recipient was justified.
Everyone asks what's wrong with this woman, I guess we know now.
Hope she gets the help she needs.
Response to 2naSalit (Reply #13)
Mosby This message was self-deleted by its author.
backscatter712
(26,355 posts)Since racism seems to be the topic of the day, probably a good idea to mention that every time a Black person or Latinx person does something antisocial, everyone declares them to be a "criminal" or "thug".
But this lady's white, so now everyone's crying "Oh, she's ill, she didn't really mean that, she just needs a little help, that's all."
Fucking bullshit. If she's smart enough to do everyday things like pumping gas and the like, she should know to keep her fucking racist mouth shut.
Duppers
(28,127 posts)Creative storytelling & feigning remorse, perhaps?
Sniff, sniff.
Nevilledog
(51,197 posts)I was just so offended that the husband of this woman was asked if he was gonna sure the victim of his wife's behavior.
Duppers
(28,127 posts)MustLoveBeagles
(11,634 posts)Hopefully this is the catalyst that convinces his wife to seek help.
Edit: Please note that I'm not excusing her behavior. She could still be a RW asshole but also have mental issues stemming from the break in.
Stallion
(6,476 posts)Beakybird
(3,333 posts)Nevilledog
(51,197 posts)Harriman is not going to sue the young lady who slapped his wife?
Why the Fuck would that even be a thought? His wife grabbed the young lady first!
How about pressing charges against or suing Mrs. Harriman????
That was offensive.
Baitball Blogger
(46,757 posts)I've met others like her in my life. They are usually enabled by their family members. In this case, her husband is a lawyer and realizes that they can get sued.
2naSalit
(86,779 posts)and I guess she works for him so I'm thinking their defense is her having an illness... I mean, maybe she broke a nail...
backscatter712
(26,355 posts)Karen grabbed the woman first, and only after that happened did she react by smacking her.
Karen committed assault and battery, and the Latina woman has a clear-cut case of self-defense.
Besides, what damage was done? A slightly red face? She gave her a love-tap.
Thunderbeast
(3,419 posts)Involuntary Civil Commitment is not an option. Beyond a possible 72 hour hold, unless a person agrees to voluntary treatment, there is no forcing any behavior on another person. Those who say the husband "enabled" the behavior by "not forcing her" into treatment simply do not understand the law. Anasognosia masks awareness of these difficulties, and leaves the person incapable of making sound decisions...yet their rights to chart their own paths, no matter how destructive, are inviolate.
He can potentially help her by getting help himself in communicating clear boundaries while changing his own responses to the outbursts. Mental illness is a disease suffered by the entire family. It has never generated the sympathy is garnered by those suffering from cancer, but the devastation of brain and behavior disorders destroys relationships, and is a massive drain on the economy.
Treatment should carry no stigma...but sadly, it carries shame and blame.
Beakybird
(3,333 posts)I started sleeping with a roommate, and after a month, she started exhibiting paranoia. She had confided in me previously that she had been sexually abused by her father. I ended up having a codependent relationship, trying to get her help. Finally, I saw a therapist, and I finally terminated the relationship when she started showing up at my place of work.
backscatter712
(26,355 posts)If the woman she assaulted decided to press charges, it may very well be the court ordering her to therapy. That sort of thing tends to become conditions of probation for those in the criminal justice system for crimes like assault.
ecstatic
(32,731 posts)if she's essentially a psycho? No offense intended, but that appears to be the condition her husband is describing.
Baitball Blogger
(46,757 posts)backscatter712
(26,355 posts)You don't go up to a member of a minority group and tell them "Go back where you came from." She's lucky she didn't get a right hook.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. If that's upsetting, she needs to go cry to her therapist instead of hounding Latina women.
FUCK RACISTS!
ProfessorGAC
(65,168 posts)...when she heard the young lady speak, she should have known that she was born & raised American. She sounded like young women in 100 other parts of the country.
So, "back to your own country", reply, " Oh, you're from america." should have been the exchange.
But, racism & xenophobia are powerful motivators to find the wrong thing to do.
Mental state notwithstanding, she found the wrong thing to do, plus she got the taste slapped out of her mouth.
Paranoia or not, keep your hands to yourself!
Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)I don't buy it.
Solomon
(12,319 posts)Jamastiene
(38,187 posts)That sounds right. If they advertise their bigotry, they gotta pay nowadays. It is much better than way back when, before the internet, when they could fluidly go back and forth and lie about it, like it used to be a long time ago.
Squinch
(51,007 posts)in her mental illness, she is choosing to spew hate.
This reminds me of a family member who is now deceased. She had mental illness, but the topics that she chose to display her paranoia were reflective of the beliefs she held before the mental illness got out of hand. She was always a racist. She was always narcissistic. As she aged and the mental illness got worse, it was just that there was no more filter on those things in her brain. She just wasn't able to hide her true thoughts as well, and those true thoughts were cruel and vindictive.
I hope she gets the help she needs, but at the same time, if this is the form her mental illness takes she has no business being out alone in society.
pwb
(11,288 posts)Don't believe your own eyes and ears?
genxlib
(5,535 posts)This op wasnt specific enough.
I didnt know which racist woman in a video episode it was talking about.
There have been so many
2naSalit
(86,779 posts)Yesterday I got confused as to which asshole who drove into a crowd I was talking about.
My brain is tired. I hope the weather is nicer today so I can go out there and get some mental floss.
Beakybird
(3,333 posts)tanyev
(42,613 posts)hunter
(38,327 posts)One of them attacked a member of the night staff and had to be restrained and sedated. He was spewing all sorts of racist crap.
Mentally ill people without excellent insurance and/or family support, who are at least somewhat aware of their circumstances, simply go to jail, especially if they are not white. In the U.S.A. prisons are the default providers of mental health services. I'm fortunate to have good insurance and a support system of family and friends.
My own mental illness comes with a huge side dish of paranoia and psychosis and very disturbing hallucinations, but thankfully I didn't grow up among racists; racism was not incorporated into my illness. When I go off I'm mostly a danger to myself, not others. My awareness of my own mental state is always the first thing that flies out the window.
My mind went a little sideways with adolescence. I didn't really have any self awareness of it at the time. As a young person one figures everyone perceives the world the same way they do and that somehow others are just coping with it better, maybe by ignoring the hallucinations and anxiety and depression, holding their chin up and carrying on. Sadly in our society failures to keep one's own head together are attributed to weakness or character flaws, and not brain injury or biochemical imbalances.
As a teen and young adult I got away with a lot of nonsense because I was an affable white male. When I was in college (enrolled or not) I think the local and campus police regarded me as an amusing diversion from their sordid graveyard shift duties. They'd drive or direct me home rather than the E.R. or jail. They didn't shoot me or choke me to death.
Forty years later there are meds I find helpful, but some have disagreeable side effects. I've experienced a fading of effectiveness in other meds which is never fun. I've ridden that merry-go-round.
In a rational world there wouldn't be a huge stigma attached to mental illness. It would be just another chronic medical condition like arthritis, diabetes, asthma, etc... It's very odd to me how we consider mental health (and dentistry...) as somehow distinct from other health services. In a rational world mental illness wouldn't be considered some kind of "defense" for criminal behavior. All people who are danger to others, considered mentally ill or not, would be treated kindly and humanely by the police, medical providers, prison guards and everyone else whose job it is to keep the peace.
It's intriguing to me that Trump has somehow given the racists permission to lash out. His words resonate with them. I look at Trump and see a very disturbed and disruptive individual who should not be President. He is clearly a danger to others and always has been.
Beakybird
(3,333 posts)Most Fox News watchers know to keep the livelihood-destroying racist diatribe to themselves. With a mental illness, the sufferer lacks filters or might be so agitated that he/she can't help but say the racist crap that's on their mind. Or Fox News feeds into a whole matrix of psychotic conspiracy theories.
Aristus
(66,462 posts)Trying to excuse vile behavior with "she has a condition" is equally vile.
"I tried to get her some help".
How hard did you try, Skippy? Where are the after-visit summaries from behavioral health providers? Where are the prescriptions for BH medications?
Isn't even remotely possible that your wife is just a squalid, racist harridan?