Many decades ago there was a right wing bumper sticker that said

[thucythucy]

"If you think police are pigs, the next time you need help, call a hippy."

These many years it's been my experience that every time I've had occasion to either call or interact with the police, I would have been far better off calling on some hippies. This includes the time I was raped, and in the aftermath endured a huge dose of male police piggishness.

Just my own observation and experience, for what it's worth.

[SoonerPride]

1. I have never once had a positive interaction with the police

I was gay bashed and nearly killed and the police didn’t do fucking shit

My house was burglarized and the police did fucking shit

I’ve been stopped, harassed, demeaned, and ignored by police.

And I’m a white male.

I can’t imagine the horrors inflicted upon females and people of color.

I have nothing but contempt for police

We need to start over. The entire system is rotten to its core.

Burn the fucking system down and start over.

Tinkering at the edges isn’t fixing it.

[babylonsister]

4. Wow, that's awful,

and I am so very sorry you had to endure that.

I need to share my experience-nada.
Yes, white female, married long time, divorced 10 years, never lived in a city.
I backed up and hit a cop inadvertently, we laughed, and carried on, in Houston years ago.
Not everyone thinks ill of cops and I've never personally been given a reason to despise them, though I have read the horror stories.
Disclaimer: my r/w brother was a cop after he was in the CG, now retired from both. He must be breathing fire!

[Polybius]

5. That's odd, I'm a black male and have never had a bad experience with them

Sure, I've been pulled over probably more than whites, but my thing is that I'm an extreme kiss-ass to the police. I take my keys out of the ignition and put them on the dash, roll my windows down, and keep my hands on the steering wheel. I never dare ask why am I being pulled over, and always say "sir" or "officer" as much as I can.

My friends make fun of me, but I'm still here. Many times ever get out of the ticket. Last year I got pulled over for doing 38 in a 30. He told me you're on body cam. I told him (I lied of course) no need to tell me, feel free to turn it off. He was in shock. We laughed a bit and he let me go without even running my license.

[NBachers]

9. I've had many bad interactions with cops, and plenty of time in the joint. Here are my observations

for what it's worth: I had a lot more problems with cops when I gave cops problems. Sure, I "stood up to the man and didn't take his shit." But as bad as you want to get, they can always get worse.

If you keep things polite, courteous, and cooperative, you stand a much better chance of coming out of it intact and uninjured. Your behavior will often determine the outcome of the encounter.

Sure, any cop can "go cop" on you for unwarranted reasons. But you have the option of which way you're going to steer the encounter.

[stillcool]

2. I had relatives that were cops..

learned lots of things I'd rather not have.

[Laffy Kat]

6. I dated a Memphis cop in the 70s.

I wasn't that woke at the time but I still knew racism when I saw it. I stopped dating him and left the city for good shortly thereafter. It was the entire force, at least from what I saw and heard.

[PJMcK]

7. Care to share?

No teasing, please.

[Xolodno]

8. That lesson cost me 5k+

Wife is BPD, she actively seeks help, takes her meds, etc. Despite that, shit still happens on the rare occasion. On one night, it happened...I called the ambulance...the police showed up first...and then proceeded to arrest her and called off the ambulance...the exact opposite of what she needed. She maid an outlandish claim...and despite my wounds, they decided to arrest me as well. Did they check to see that the house was secure? Nope.

Long story short, the jailers immediately put her in the medical ward from what I found out, they new something was wrong. As for me, never been arrested...and couldn't contact a bailor because they wouldn't allow it unless I knew the exact number, was stuck for a couple of days....until I found a new "prisoner" who had some numbers.

Got out. Paid the bail company. They let her out the next day...when she probably should have been under observation in a mental hospital. I retained a lawyer....and the next day he told me the DA (which he used to be) dropped both of our cases like a hot potato. More or less, telling me, they screwed up and they knew they screwed up.....


...but I'm still our of 5k. Had to wonder, most don't have that...my court date got put off due to bail and tossed out later...but what if I had to face a judge out of jail right away with a minimum paid defense attorney? With California laws, they basically force you to divorce...which would put my wife in a lot of danger as she depends on me for her mental care, meds, etc.

Interestingly the lawyer was very level with me, told me the police get two weeks of law training...and that's it. Their job is to arrest people...nothing else..and their performance is graded on the number of people they arrest.

So in short, I used to respect the police....no longer. So I have this to say...

Fuck the police.

[Laelth]

11. I do not envy you.

Your BPD wife will destroy you in time. They’re incurable, and their pathology gets worse as they get older.

I wish you well.

-Laelth

[Xolodno]

13. Actually, she has gotten a hell of a lot better, since diagnosed.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact she knows she has a problem and does her best to manage it, to use her words "for the first time in my life, its finally good, and I'm sabotaging it, what is wrong with me!". She hasn't had an episode for a long time. And the episode that caused the arrest was the first one in five years....had her psychiatrist not been out on medical leave, think she may have been able to avoid it.

Her new psychiatrist, since her old one had to retire due to medical issues, prescribed her a new and additional medication. Turns out another condition she had is linked to BPD....its worked like a miracle. Of course, insurance won't cover it, so I shell out $200 every month...but its been amazing.

I'm probably in the rare situation where someone who has BPD actually accepts they have it and works actively to take care it. Most I understand, won't accept it and it will rip them up. I got lucky...and I'll counsel anyone facing a BPD partner to cut their losses and run. Just because I won the lottery, doesn't mean you will.

[Laelth]

14. No. They're much worse when they KNOW and ACCEPT what they are.

Your current mate, most likely, still thinks that there’s nothing wrong with her, but she plays the game to appease you and to continue her parasitic lifestyle.

This is a person with NPD who knows what he is:

-Laelth

[RobinA]

15. Just Stop

No one who’s being successful at something really very difficult wants or needs to hear Doomsday naysaying from a complete stranger.

[Laelth]

16. Fair enough. I did what I could. n/t

-Laelth

[Xolodno]

19. So in your view...

...anyone with a mental illness is beyond hope. Got it.

Sounds like you need some therapy.

[SharonAnn]

17. I have a step daughter with BPD. She now accepts it and takes her meds.

She does a review with her psychiatrist at least every 3 months, more frequently if there’s an issue. She’s been doing well frown for 20 years. I’m so proud of her.

[Xolodno]

18. That's great to hear.

With proper treatment it can be handled. I remember when I talked to the psychiatrist with just him and myself and asking what am I dealing with, he stated "The good news, she accepts her condition and wants to take care of it and is doing the things to take care of it, so she'll be ok most of the time. The bad news, she is going to have a relapse from time to time, just be prepared for it".

The negative stigma of mental illness and biased views that BPD is a Narcissistic Personality Disorder by untrained professionals, really annoys me. Sure, there are people with BPD who absolutely refuse to believe they have a mental issue, but there is a minority who acknowledge they have a mental problem and do something about it...and their lives are better for it.

And the odd thing, when functional MRI's became available, they hoped it would solve Depression...only to discover, there were several types of Depression and had more questions than it solved. For BPD, it was clear. The mechanism to regulate emotion in the brain, didn't work.

[Laelth]

10. I think you're on to something.

Let’s institute the Hippie Patrol. I suspect that the Hippie Patrol would do a better job serving and protecting the citizens of this country than most of our police departments.



-Laelth

[Raine]

12. I didn't have one but I remember those stickers and I remember one

time my family was visiting San Diego when we had car trouble. The car was stuck in the middle of the street, we saw a police car and thought they would push us out of the street but they went right on by. Along came a VW Bus with hippies without saying much they pushed us out of the street.