LOL! From WaPo: Trump explains his favorite Bible stories

[highplainsdem]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/06/04/trump-explains-his-favorite-bible-stories/

If there was one thought in America’s mind when it watched our gallant president stride to St. John’s Episcopal Church and heft a Bible in one hand, it was: That man has definitely seen or held a Bible — or, indeed, any book — before, and he knows it cover to cover, from Genesis to Two Corinthians and even beyond! But what could be his favorite stories from that much-loved book of his, or someone’s? Here is my best guess.

-snip-

Job: Someone is treated almost but not quite as badly as Donald Trump gets treated every day.

-snip-

Revelation: Beautiful first draft of Trump inauguration speech.

-snip-

Temptation of Jesus: Man offered infinite worldly power; says no, like an idiot.

-snip-

Much more at the link.

[MissB]

1. That is hilarious!

[MyOwnPeace]

2. DAMN!

I can really hear him doing that!!

[dalton99a]

3. Kick

Solomon: A man suggests a very good way of dealing with a disputed baby, but a nasty woman interferes.

David and Goliath: Someone makes the mistake of flinging a projectile at a heavily-armored man; they will need to come down on him hard.

Temptation of Jesus: Man offered infinite worldly power; says no, like an idiot.

Crucifixion: Agitator gets what is coming to him.

[Gothmog]

4. That piece was very funny

trump has never read the bible and is clueless as to what the Bible/Torah is about

Link to tweet

[exboyfil]

5. Nathan

Who is that clown to call out King David. When you see a good piece of tail, then you just got to grab it. Too bad about Bathsheba's husband.

[gratuitous]

6. Why'd he have to spoil that story about Lazarus and the rich man?

It was going just fine, with the rich man living large while Lazarus starved just outside his gated community. Then it gets all judgy and preachy.

Same thing for that guy whose land produced such an abundance that he started a plan to tear down his storage sheds and build bigger, newer storage, storage like nobody's ever seen, believe me! And then Jesus has to ruin it by having the guy die intestate. I suppose it's a good reminder to have an estate plan, but he could have made the point some other way.

[lame54]

7. The last supper...

Piles of cold hamberders and diet Cokes