Obama Unworried About Trump Accusing Him of Crime Because Bill Barr Does Not Prosecute Criminals

[Zorro]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Former President Barack Obama said on Monday that he is unconcerned about Donald Trump accusing him of “the greatest crime in American history” because Attorney General Bill Barr does not prosecute criminals.

“At first, when I heard that he was accusing me of being the worst criminal ever, I have to admit I was a little rattled,” Obama said. “But then I remembered Barr’s don’t-prosecute-crimes policy, and I was pretty chill about it.”

Obama said that he was unsure what crime Trump was accusing him of committing, “but I’m pretty sure I never lied to the F.B.I. or anything as serious as that—so I’m good.”

The former President said that, if it turns out that he did commit a crime, “I’ll immediately admit that I did it, because, if history is any guide, the next thing that will happen is me not getting prosecuted.”

Reflecting on how the Department of Justice might view his illegal actions, whatever they were, Obama said, “This is an awesome time to be a criminal.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/obama-unworried-about-trump-accusing-him-of-crime-because-bill-barr-does-not-prosecute-criminals

[FarPoint]

1. Why even entertain such nonsense here at DU?

It's beyond me...

[Thomas Hurt]

2. Satire

[FoxNewsSucks]

3. I am always amazed

at the number of people who read sites like this, listen to podcasts, and should be otherwise "informed" yet they seem to have no idea that Borowitz or The Onion are satirical humor.

[Amaryllis]

4. I do find it gettting more and more challenging to tell what is satire and what is not, given

how far into the realm of the completely absurd reality has moved. Often i will read about something that really happened and have to check to see if it's Borowitz or the ONion to know if it's satire.

[Lock him up.]

9. Yeah, but moRans on oRange-a$$'s socials would think it's real...

Oh! Ok, they already fantasize it's real…

[ecstatic]

13. Maybe he knows it's satire but

just doesn't find this funny?

Personally, I don't like seeing President Obama's name juxtaposed with the word "criminal," even as a joke or satire.

Unfortunately, due to the way our brains process information, the context in which the author links the 2 ideas doesn't matter. This piece further reinforces trump's smears.

[Maeve]

5. Ok, THAT was funny!

I knew it was satire and I suspected who wrote it, but I've had a long day and needed that.

That and a glass of wine....I'll get the wine myself.

[KS Toronado]

7. I'm with you, we all need a good laugh & it actually sounds like something Obama would write

[patphil]

6. Yeah, it's borowitz, but it would have been even funnier if President Obama had actually said it.

[Brother Mythos]

8. I knew it had to be either Borowitz or "The Onion," as soon as I read the title.

[0rganism]

10. i'm very sad that i did not immediately recognize this as satire

what a fucking nightmare

[Roc2020]

11. That was perfect!

"because the Attorney General does not prosecute criminals" BAM! that's the kind of come back that may make Trump bust a gasket

P.S. Shame on those that didn't see the satire. come on now!

[SunSeeker]

12. LOL. Indeed, even when the criminals plead guilty!

[gordianot]

14. In spite of being satire the title is still correct.

[crickets]

15. Recently I've had trouble finding a sense of humor for Borowitz.

Not today. Today was spot on funny and I needed the chuckle.

[denem]

16. "This is an awesome time to be a criminal"