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White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars
CIA Teleported Obama to Mars At Least Twice. Or Not.by Abby Zimet
January 5, 2012
Two time-traveling “chrononauts” who took part in a secret CIA intergalactic program in the early 1980s say they encountered President Obama, aka Barry Soetero, at least twice at U.S. facilities on Mars after he was teleported there by a “jump room” for a perilous mission to establish a defense regime, during which his primary task was "to be seen and not eaten." The White House has denied the claim, though they admit the young Obama once watched "Marvin the Martian.” Of course, you'd expect them to. Still, time travel might help explain how a former constitutional law professor could subsequently blatantly disregard so many fundamental legal rights and principles once he gained power as president.
http://www.commondreams.org/further/2012/01/05-8
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White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars
By Spencer Ackerman
January 3, 2012
Forget Kenya. Never mind the secret madrassas. The sinister, shocking truth about Barack Obama’s past lies not in east Africa, but in outer space. As a young man in the early 1980s, Obama was part of a secret CIA project to explore Mars. The future president teleported there, along with the future head of Darpa.
Perhaps this all sounds fantastical, absurd, and more than a little nuts. We couldn’t agree more. That’s one of the reasons we love conspiracy theories — the more awesomely insane, the better. Each week during 2012, when the Mayans tell us to expect the apocalypse, Danger Room will peel back a new layer of crazy to expose those oh-so-cleverly hidden machinations powering this doomed plane of existence. Welcome — back — to Tinfoil Tuesday.
Officially, the White House says Obama never went to Mars. “Only if you count watching Marvin the Martian,” Tommy Vietor, the spokesman for the National Security Council, tells Danger Room. But that’s exactly what a secret chrononaut wants you to believe.
It is not known what exactly Obama did on Mars. (Socializing Martian health care, perhaps? Building a birth-certificate printing press?) His mission was a perilous one, according to Basiago and Stillings. The CIA wished to “establish a defense regime protecting the Earth from threats from space” as well as a legal claim to “territorial sovereignty,” making Obama something of a Martian conquistador. Presumably, Obama’s CIA handlers needed him to “acclimate Martian humanoids and animals to their presence” in order to secure the U.S.-Martian alliance. (We’ll bet you weren’t even aware of Martian animals.)
“Simply put, your task is to be seen and not eaten,” an elder chrononaut, retired Army Maj. Ed Dames, is alleged to have told a young Obama.
Read the full article at:
http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2012/01/obama-mars/
26 replies
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Um, Er, Um....
WOW, That is a first for me. Weird news? Um, no.
It's a joke. 
Just sayin'.
They are always making up shit and hit a homerun on this one! This is Onion level comedy gold imo! The sad thing? HOW many Repukes will actually believe this is a real story!?!? You know more then one that will. 
