From Mad Magazine: Scenes we'd like to see...

[moonseller66]

...or hear as I'm no artist.

After being sworn, 20 seconds after starting his Presidential Address on January 20th 2021, while in the company of current and previous officials, President Biden says this:

"My fellow Americans, we need to start rebuilding America's Infrastructure. I want to let you all know that as soon as this speech is over, on this podium, in front of all Americans and the media, I will sign an Executive Order into law to tear down and remove a great deal of no longer needed, misused steel from the border between America and Mexico.

It will be used in America where I'm sure many better uses can be found for it. I was told by our scientists and engineers that it can be repurposed for a lot less than the original constuction costs.

Further, I am authorizing the many immigrant workers along with their families who lost their jobs, green cards, visas and potential American Citizenship through no fault of their own to be hired at decent wages and healthcare to help remove the steel so it can be used properly for our country.

My Second Executive Order will be to remove immediately the caged people from those disgusting, unhealthy conditions and see to it that not only they get proper medical treatment but they are moved to better, more humane living quarters in a climate they may be more familiar with, probably in Florida...near Miami. Those who took pleasure in mistreating the immigrants and those who wouldn't provide health care, denied them legal assistance and even basic human needs will be held totally accountable for their actions.

My Third Executive Order will restore all overturned Environmental Laws enacted by the Obama Administration so we can start cleaning up the mess recenty left for us and get back on track for a cleaner, healthier country and world for all people and not just for some who feel entitled.

A scene I'd like to see and hear.

Please feel free to suggest your own thoughts.

[Thunderbeast]

1. ....and then...

I will direct Secretary of State Susan Rice to re-engage with the Paris Climate accords. She will also reach out to the government in Teheran to sincerely apologize for our hubris, and ratify our previous nuclear arms agreement.

I will direct Defense Secretary Pete Buttigieg to welcome back any LGBQT service members wrongfully discharged. Their rank and tenure will be restored as if the interruption did not happen.

I will direct Interior Secretary Jay Inslee to re-establish the original boundaries for Bears Ears and Grand Staircase Escalante National Monuments. I will propose elevating those treasures to National Park status along with the Columbia Gorge and other scenic holdings. All extraction leases will be reviewed to maximize public benefit including ALL stakeholders.

I will direct HHS Secretary Hillary Clinton to implement the transition to true patient-centered universal health care that prioritizes quality over profitability.

I will direct Attorney General Sally Yates to review the Mueller Report to determine if findings were subject to illegal political pressure. Any obstruction discovered, including by the former AG will be subject to prosecution.

Just getting started.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

2. We are going to have progressive

Taxation and the 1% will be taxed at a rate of 99%. Corporate personhood is gone and there will be a universal income of 2,000 dollars a month to everyone that makes less than 70,000 a year.
Corporations will pay in full for whatever pollution they cause and it will be retroactive. There will be rent caps and minimum wage will be 25 dollars an hour.
School curriculums will include lessons about narcissism,sociopathy and the dangers of authoritarianism. There will be civics classes as well as art,music,sex ed and the liberal arts returned to schools from kindergarten to high school.
We will go back to adding to the funds of WHO and we will be back in the international criminal court
There will be sweeping infrastructure changes and
Corporation and church will be severed from the government.
And citizens United and the Patriot act overturned. GBLT people will be made full citizens of the United States ,entitled to the rights every straight person has .They have and they will remain fully protected from discrimination under the law.

Just getting started..

[Haggis for Breakfast]

3. Starting immediately,

All potential staffers, cabinet secretaries and their aids and all WH staff will be thoroughly vetted on the merits of their experience/education/background, for their considered position. Anyone who has been disqualified or ruled unfit by their over-arching hierarchy will not be considered. If the American Bar Association declares you "unfit" you won't be appointed to any bench position. (Thomas, Gorsuch, Schlitz Kavanaugh to name a few.) Ever.

There will be a new No Nepotism Rule.

Religion is a personal, private matter. The founding fathers were actually non-believers. They would be horrified at what these christo-fascists have done to our schools, our public buildings and our holidays. We are a nation of many faiths. Let's all be respectful of them, ALL of them.

Hate/racism/misogyny/intolerance will be outlawed. With all of the CCTV, we will see you, we will find you, we will enlighten you.

Hell yes, we're coming for your AR-15s. Get over it.

Everyone's tax returns will be pre-requisite for running for office. No ifs, no ands, no butts.

The Emoluments Clause will be enforced to the full extent of the law, with REAL teeth, with NO wiggle room.

Golf is officially dismantled, country club by country club. All of that beautifully-landscaped, prime real estate can be put to much better uses. There are far too many homeless people (especially veterans) who could live in low cost homes constructed there.

The word "trump" will be declared the most vile, foul, vulgar word in the English language and no one will ever say it out loud again.

I'm just getting warmed up . . . .