You're all getting it wrong:

[PCIntern]

What you do is boil the Clorox and place in a large bowl. Take a moistened towel and cover your head and the bowl and breathe in the fumes. This way it can access your lungs for maximum effect.

Then, forget that UV stuff. That’s for sissies and libruls. Obtain a carbon arc lamp from an old movie projector and begin staring at it at eye level, and have it proceed down the body to the soles of your feet. The blindness WILL be permanent and the burns will only take a few months to heal.

But what do you have to lose...?

[samnsara]

1. im gonna go lay in my tanning bed and sip rum and coke...

[unblock]

2. doc, hope you're not offended if i get a second opinion

[PCIntern]

9. Ask Dr Fauci.

He’ll agree with me.

[Midnight Writer]

12. Well, I'm sure he will not disagree, at least out loud.

[Cousin Dupree]

3. Will it give me bone spurs?

[Sneederbunk]

4. I think you are on(to) something.

[Stuart G]

5. Very well said...Great Idea..

[JustGene]

6. Darn!

I was looking forward to drinking Lysol with a flashlight up my ass.

[In_The_Wind]

14. Oh gosh.

I gotta dry off my computer now.

[Tree-Hugger]

16. ...

[Solomon]

22. ...

[cyclonefence]

7. Or look directly at a solar eclipse n/t

[Hugin]

8. You first, Doc.

I'll hold your beer from a suitable distance.

[maxrandb]

10. It would help the MAGAts if they mixed in a little amonia with the Clorox

[Hugin]

11. And, kool-ade...

Grape, I believe, works best.

[Pacifist Patriot]

18. I would go with orange.

The vitamin C would counteract the ammonia, boost the benefits of the bleach, and if you're really lucky, a potential side effect might be a skin tone similar to the perfectest president ever. Plus, everyone knows that vitamins are super sciency.

[Hugin]

20. But, but, but... 'Grape' has some of the same letters in it as 'Great'!

So, it's only sciency to believe in it's effectiveness. Orange? Nothing rhymes with orange.

[Pacifist Patriot]

23. Drat! You got me. You are a way better scientistic person than I.

I bow humbly to your medicalific prowess.

[Hugin]

26. I have a brand new Sharpie to prove it, too. It's good to see someone recognizes my medicalifacence.

Even if the front end of the horse doesn't seem to think I'm a stable genius.

Next up! I will fix the Stock Markets with a wave of my wand!

[Midnight Writer]

13. Are you crazy? That could be harmful.

[Hortensis]

15. Just looked up inhaling chlorine bleach fumes. Done properly,

users should have immediate confirmation their lungs are being treated with an organism-destroying antiseptic. Those seeking maximal, quickest effect might want to heat it until steam rises first, though.

[rgbecker]

17. Seriously, Do not mix Bleach and Ammonia or vinegar.

[link:https://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/16-common-product-combinations-you-should-never-mix|

[Pacifist Patriot]

19. I sincerely hope no one here thinks this is a good idea.

But definitely worth sharing the warning!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

21. I learned that the hard way when I was about fourteen.

My brother and I were experimenting with household chemicals and we mixed bleach with mildew remover. Had to run that mess outside ASAP and open all the windows.

[rgbecker]

27. "Accidental mix of bleach and acid kills Buffalo Wild Wings employee."

[link:https://cen.acs.org/safety/consumer-safety/Accidental-mix-bleach-acid-kills/97/i45|

They say 2000 a year die of similar mixes.

I read of Nun dying over a bucket of bleach and ammonia years ago. My mom made sure I knew about that back in the 50's.

[Hugin]

24. I totally disagree with you on UV! It's by far the most cost effective treatment.

All you really need is a large windmill like fan and bright sunshiny day!

Disrobe. Get on all fours and let the fan blow all that sunshine right up your... Uh, well. Corn hole. Can we say 'corn hole' at a national press briefing?

[defacto7]

25. Somebody might try sticking an arc welder up their ass and see what happens.

Or maybe try swallowng a teeny tiny black hole. That should do something.

[Gothmog]

28. trump was talking about diet Fresca

Link to tweet

?s=20

[First Speaker]

29. I asked my GP, Dr Hannibal Lector, about this...

...and he consulted his team of experts--Dr Jekyll, Dr Frankenstein, Dr Moreau, Dr Mengele, and Dr Doom--and they all agree with your analysis. Let you all know how it goes!

[Ilsa]

30. Plus a pinch of ammonia in the bleach!

Might as well get the suffering over quickly with a bit of chlorine gas.