About the 90+year-olds who have "beat" Coronavirus.

[lamp_shade]

My niece (a writer/blogger) just posted this on facebook. It made me think.
https://www.facebook.com/katetullochhammond/posts/10217427246295203?comment_id=10217427305656687¬if_id=1586018897714758¬if_t=feedback_reaction_generic

"Rant time...
I wish people would stop posting about the 97-year-olds (or any age) who have "beat" Coronavirus. Is it a competition?

For the 3rd time this week, I saw something along those lines. This one was followed with "proves he's still a fighter." We're thrilled your uncle is on the mend. Really. Celebrate that shit; you all deserve to breathe a huge sigh of relief. Just stop using the word "beat" as if it's a competition.

Think about this before you post about someone "beating" the virus: for the family of the 39-year-old dad who didn't "beat" COVID-19, you just destroyed them - their loss is still new, still surreal and forever gut-wrenching. Did their dad not fight hard enough?

The thousands who have died and didn't "beat" this virus - their families and friends are suffering every single day. The people on the front lines busting their asses and risking their lives every day for us - they sure as fuck don't see it as a competition. And what about those healthcare workers who contracted Coronavirus and died from it? Did they not have enough fight in them to "beat" it?

To say someone "beat" this virus seems like a Coronavirus competition. There is NOTHING to celebrate at this stage of the game... no silver linings. We are in a brutal war. We still know so little... there is no explanation as to why a 97-year-old man with myriad health issues survived, and a 39-year-old dad in perfect health died.

Yes, celebrate that those who are surviving this war are still with you and on the mend. But please remember, for hundreds of thousands of people mourning a loss, they are in agony. Their lives are forever altered and they'll never get their loved one back.

Some of you may think I'm sensitive and overreacting: I get that... I do, but have you lost a loved one from this virus? All I'm saying is to think before you post."

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Yes, "beat" is not the right word. It implies that the survivor "fought" harder

than a person who didn't survive. There are many medical reasons why one person survived and another didn't, and we don't know what all those reasons are yet - but none of them have to do with how hard someone might have "fought." It's insensitive to speak of it that way.

[hlthe2b]

2. I don't like the "war" metaphors, nor (as with cancer) the constant suggestion that those who die

have "lost their fight" with the disease and those who are fortunate enough to experience recovery or remission, "beat" it.

I understand this appeals to some who don't want to be viewed as victims, but it bugs me too.

[MineralMan]

3. That's a valid point, but it's also important for people to understand

that COVID-19 doesn't kill everyone who gets it, regardless of age. Even for people over 70 years of age, a large majority survive the infection just fine. Some don't and that's too many, but most people survive.

We keep hearing about the numbers of people who die, but rarely about the statistics of people who get the disease but don't die. We don't even know how many people have contracted the virus, since we're not doing adequate testing. So, we don't know what the mortality rate is for any age group.

We know that older people are at higher risk of death, but we don't accurately know the percentages.

So, stories of survival, even among the old are as important as stories about those who do not survive.

There's a balance that needs to be understood, so we can look at the overall picture accurately.

[frazzled]

4. We should never use the terms "beat" or "fight" when speaking about diseases

I've mentioned this before with respect to cancer patients. People aren't capable of fighting cancer, or corona virus, by some act of strength or will. You follow all doctors' instructions, comply with all treatments, etc. Some people respond to treatment while others do not, and it's not because some "fought" it better: it's genetics, responsiveness of the body, and maybe some plain luck.

To speak of fighting a battle against a disease or beating it leaves the friends and families of those who did not respond to treatments and succumbed feeling as if it were some sort of personal failure. It is not.

[Loki Liesmith]

5. Nah I'll keep saying it.

[Atticus]

6. Thank you for a sensitive and thought-provoking post. nt

[lamp_shade]

9. I'll tell her you said that.

[customerserviceguy]

7. Probably

poor writing skills on the part of a reporter to use the language they do, but it is good for people to hear a positive story every once in awhile.

[lamp_shade]

8. She meant it for "friends"...didn't expect me to ask her if I could share it on a discussion board.

[DarthDem]

10. Okay, but

Celebrating the survival of one person does not minimize the grief one feels for another. I think we can do both.