Susan Collins Unable to Decide Whether to Wash Hands

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senator Susan Collins, of Maine, has not decided whether she will wash her hands in response to the coronavirus outbreak, Collins confirmed on Friday.

Speaking to reporters at the Capitol, Collins said that she was “deeply troubled” by the behavior of the covid-19 virus.

“The behavior of the coronavirus is, to me, profoundly disturbing,” she said. “Whether it rises to the level of something I should respond to by washing my hands is a question I am devoting a great deal of thought to right now.”

Collins said that she had set “no timetable” for deciding whether to wash her hands, stressing that it was a decision “I do not take lightly.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/susan-collins-unable-to-decide-whether-to-wash-hands?source=EDT_NYR_EDIT_NEWSLETTER_0_imagenewsletter_Borowitz_ZZ&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_030620&utm_medium=email&bxid=5be9f8cb24c17c6adf0e5d24&cndid=25394153&esrc=&mbid=&utm_term=TNY_Borowitz

She usually washes her hands of everything Trump does.

[JDC]

1. Perfect

[FoxNewsSucks]

2. Well, I'm sure the virus has learned its lesson.

[coti]

3. She certainly at least HOPES so. nt

[Karadeniz]

4. I hope she reads this!

[Marie Marie]

5. Crap! When I read the title, I thought maybe it meant that she was

washing her hands of her Senate seat and was contemplating not running for re-election. OTOH, Borowitz is great!

[LW1977]

6. She had complete confidence that COVID-19 learned it's lesson.