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OliverQ

(3,363 posts)
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 03:38 PM Feb 2020

Advice on taking care of yourself in these dark times?

Hard to admit, but I suffer from severe depression and anxiety. The Trump era has really made my health worse. I've been feeling sick daily, severe headaches constantly, all kinds of other health issues probably due to stress.

Things are getting even worse with Trump's acquittal. Seeing so many people in this country celebrate America becoming a dictatorship is seriously screwing me up. Twitter is overrun by people claiming Trump is vindicated and the whole impeachment was a scam, he's totally innocent. They're now praising every dictator move he does. I'm not sure how many of them are bots compared to real people, but I'm just not convinced it's possible for Trump to lose the next election.

I'm having a real hard time coping with it. Any advice on how to stay somewhat positive? I just feel like Dems and the good guys can't catch a break.

44 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Advice on taking care of yourself in these dark times? (Original Post) OliverQ Feb 2020 OP
Not for everyone Runningdawg Feb 2020 #1
My hubby uses music and pot marlakay Feb 2020 #42
Me, too.... Rider3 Feb 2020 #2
There was an actual study I read a couple years ago, those dewsgirl Feb 2020 #14
I feel the same way. hamsterjill Feb 2020 #3
you are not alone, first. Grasswire2 Feb 2020 #4
I'm binging Silicon Valley RandySF Feb 2020 #5
I take solace in the fact that the sun will eventually go supernova ZZenith Feb 2020 #6
You aren't alone....Here's what I have found that helps me.... The empressof all Feb 2020 #7
+1 Blue_Tires Feb 2020 #18
Stay away from politics. Kaleva Feb 2020 #8
I take a week off from news for a week about every month or so. LanternWaste Feb 2020 #9
So do I... Blue_Tires Feb 2020 #19
Step one: turn off the TV. Wednesdays Feb 2020 #10
Yep. There's something about television, especially television news and opinion, that fuels despair. hunter Feb 2020 #16
This is great advice Green Line Feb 2020 #41
A few ideas... Jirel Feb 2020 #11
escape ibegurpard Feb 2020 #12
step 1- take a nap w the dogs. but coincidently mopinko Feb 2020 #13
There are some great solfeggio frequencies that I play as background alittlelark Feb 2020 #15
I didn't know there was a word for this kind of music! renate Feb 2020 #17
+100000 Pachamama Feb 2020 #29
Nice! backtoblue Feb 2020 #40
There's a lot of really good advice in this discussion. Just thought I'd add some Mike 03 Feb 2020 #20
+1000... fierywoman Feb 2020 #27
My tips Blue_Tires Feb 2020 #21
Exercise - go for walks and enjoy the beauty of nature malaise Feb 2020 #22
This year... moondust Feb 2020 #23
Yeah, a few hobbies. OliverQ Feb 2020 #24
Cool. moondust Feb 2020 #25
I love travel. OliverQ Feb 2020 #31
Spend time in nature, plug in to universal energy - it revives... polichick Feb 2020 #26
Really wish pot was legal here. I'm drinking too much. Va Lefty Feb 2020 #28
I was feeling like this a while back so I shut off the sources of the negative energy making ooky Feb 2020 #30
Watching a lot of news can really affect my mood DesertRat Feb 2020 #32
Sorry you are having a hard time-I'm having a flare today also. 58Sunliner Feb 2020 #33
Lots of good recommendations in this thread. Dem2theMax Feb 2020 #34
I could have written this post AwakeAtLast Feb 2020 #35
You are not alone. mahina Feb 2020 #36
Some good info on cind and sleep mahina Feb 2020 #43
For depresson and anxiety?! #1 absolutely cut toxic political discussion Hortensis Feb 2020 #37
I don't know if you would be interested in this but I have found such great help Maraya1969 Feb 2020 #38
solar lights deek Feb 2020 #39
kick Blue_Tires Feb 2020 #44

Runningdawg

(4,519 posts)
1. Not for everyone
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 03:41 PM
Feb 2020

But my cheap therapy is a long stretch of flat road in the country and death metal turned up to ear-bleeding levels. When I get home a bowl of Indica and a hot bath.

marlakay

(11,473 posts)
42. My hubby uses music and pot
Fri Feb 7, 2020, 01:03 PM
Feb 2020

For his depression too and it works best for him.

He is retired so usually has some afternoon.

Rider3

(919 posts)
2. Me, too....
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 03:43 PM
Feb 2020

I battle depression and anxiety (among other issues) daily. The best thing I've found is to stay off of FaceBook. That alone took away a good 50% of my anger. Next, stay with proven news sites. I like NPR -- it doesn't take corporate money; it's all donations. Sometimes I go to overseas news to get other perspectives. Lastly, if politics is brought up in a conversation, say something like, "I rather not talk about politics or religion." Who could argue with that? If they do, they're assholes, and you have no place for them in your life.

PS) I totally agree with the indica comment above.

dewsgirl

(14,961 posts)
14. There was an actual study I read a couple years ago, those
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 04:18 PM
Feb 2020

who use FB are 13 percent less happy, than those of us that don't.

hamsterjill

(15,222 posts)
3. I feel the same way.
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 03:43 PM
Feb 2020

The usual things (disengage, distract, take a walk, etc.) don't seem to help because I know that when I return to reality, things are still as bad as they were.

I refuse to go quietly! I am not giving up the remainder of my life because some of the people on this planet who live in my country (and elsewhere) either don't give a damn about their fellow living creatures on this planet, or else have some ulterior motive for wanting an idiot in the White House who they can control.

This is MY country, damnit! This is MY life. Half of the reason that the Dems lose is because we have yet to truly unite and make the public declaration that we are not going to stand for this. I fear that the next election is going to be hacked. What are the Dems in power doing RIGHT NOW to make sure that does not happen?

It's up to us!

Grasswire2

(13,571 posts)
4. you are not alone, first.
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 03:44 PM
Feb 2020

Can you find community in real life, real time?

Someone to have coffee with, and commiserate, and perhaps take some steps to positive actions of resistance?

Each of us can be a warrior in our own way.

And hmm......I'm not seeing the same thing on twitter that you are. Maybe you could only follow people you admire, and get a better feed each day.

ZZenith

(4,124 posts)
6. I take solace in the fact that the sun will eventually go supernova
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 03:48 PM
Feb 2020

so the best we can do is be kind to one another in the meantime.

Seriously, find someone in need of help and help them, you will feel better.

And trash the Twitter, it’s not doing anybody any good.

The empressof all

(29,098 posts)
7. You aren't alone....Here's what I have found that helps me....
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 03:49 PM
Feb 2020

Limit yourself to exposure overload. I am retired and found myself having the news on all the time. I have shut it down and keep it to bare minimum. I do read "print" news on line which seems to be less anxiety provoking for me while still staying informed and present. I do switch on the tube if something big is happening but I don't listen hours on end while they just repeat and pontificate.

Find things that you love. Listen to music. Read whatever brings you joy. Cook. Garden. Do absolutely nothing if that's what pleases you.

Stay away from too many stimulants. If you use drugs or alcohol...cut it down a bit. Same goes for Caffeine and sugar. (except chocolate...I eat a little every day....)

Politics is not life. We can't ignore it... But we can't let it stop us from enjoying what else is out there. Be gentle with yourself. You are one person and your stress helps no one. We need you to be strong. Take care of yourself.

Kaleva

(36,309 posts)
8. Stay away from politics.
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 03:53 PM
Feb 2020

If what is going on is making your health worse, then cut it out of your life and concentrate on involving yourself in things that make you better. or at least don't harm you.

Everything is going to play out as it is even if you are not paying attention to any of it. There is absolutely no sense in harming yourself in any activity that you have no control over.

DU is a big place with many groups discussing a wide variety of subjects. Take advantage of it and stay out of GD, LBN and Democratic Primaries.

 

LanternWaste

(37,748 posts)
9. I take a week off from news for a week about every month or so.
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 03:58 PM
Feb 2020

Seems we're so often invested in our faith-based beliefs (religious, economic, and philosophical, as well as the political) that we often find listening to someone with a different opinion to be an insult to us personally.

I take a week to ten days off every month or so and actively avoid political news. I watch old British television (Upstairs Downstairs, All Creatures Great and Small, etc) to more easily remember that our political opinions, prophecies and ablative absolutes are more often than not, worth less than the ether we type them into.

Wednesdays

(17,380 posts)
10. Step one: turn off the TV.
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 04:01 PM
Feb 2020

Even if it's just for 24 hours. You can live 24 hours without it. Likewise, put aside news radio, newspapers, and even social media if you receive political-related messages.

Go out if you can. Shop. Visit friends. Or binge watch a Netflix series. Do something cool and different. Pamper yourself. Just for 24 hours. I guarantee you'll feel better by the end of that term.

I'm not suggesting anyone put their head in the sand and deny reality. But if things get overwhelming, it's a good thing to step away and take a break. What good are any of us, as we approach the crucial election season, sick and broken foot soldiers?

hunter

(38,317 posts)
16. Yep. There's something about television, especially television news and opinion, that fuels despair.
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 04:27 PM
Feb 2020

Television subdues effective political activism.

My wife and I quit television a long time ago.

We read all our news. We're not exposed to any television advertising.

Television made Trump. They can eat him.

Green Line

(1,123 posts)
41. This is great advice
Fri Feb 7, 2020, 12:55 PM
Feb 2020

it's what I've started doing, no more hours and hours of MSNBC has helped tremendously. I've started binge watching The Blacklist on Netflix.

Jirel

(2,018 posts)
11. A few ideas...
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 04:02 PM
Feb 2020

1. Stay off Twitter. Nothing good ever comes of it.

2. Limit exposure to Facebook (if you’re on it). If there are utterly deplorable people on your feed, snooze for a month or unfriend.

3. Limit news reading to the less gossipy sources. Clickbait headlines from media like HuffPo or right wing sewers are bad for the blood pressure. I did myself a huge favor and downloaded Feedly. The free version lets you set up 3 news feeds, then choose your sources from a number of categories (politics, tech, various industries, science, etc.). By picking only quality sources that write good articles (not gossip, not news videos), you can be even better informed in a short amount of time than by flipping around news sites.

4. Do something creative and nonpolitical. Something that hopefully gets you out of the house and social. Join a knitting night at a local shop, take pottery or blacksmithung lessons, join a local choir or theater group - the possibilities are endless. This breaks you out of your rut and let’s your mind concentrate on some fun things.

5. Pick creative projects to do at home every week. My husband jokes about me building a new addition onto the house when I get motivated. (Ok, I built a shed. Don’t judge.) While the dishes and laundry need doing, that’s maintenance. Do something to actually improve your living space. It doesn’t have to be huge.

6. Get out of the house with a friend to do something fun and non routine, regularly. While most of us can’t afford to go running to Six Flags or Disney even if we want to, there are free days at zoos and museums, free gardens, big farmers markets, festivals, and so on. Getting out of the house is one of the toughest things to do when you’re depressed. Make time for it, and get a friend to help keep you at it.

ibegurpard

(16,685 posts)
12. escape
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 04:03 PM
Feb 2020

movies, music, books, tv.
nothing wrong with finding escape in these things. you do what you can and then you have to find a way to survive. it doesn't mean you aren't paying attention or don't care.

mopinko

(70,121 posts)
13. step 1- take a nap w the dogs. but coincidently
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 04:09 PM
Feb 2020

i started taking a probiotic for gut issues, and i think it is really helping my stress levels.
also melatonin for sleep, and i found a good edible that is also slaying the anxiety.

sleep is something that can really make a difference. these days your phone can tell you how you are sleeping, and i def recommend people check it. there are a lot of low tech stuff you can do, too. just good sleep hygiene.




alittlelark

(18,890 posts)
15. There are some great solfeggio frequencies that I play as background
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 04:24 PM
Feb 2020

and sleep to. You tube has thousands of them. Different types of tones, different music styles. It Really HELPS !! Play around and find some that help. I've been listening to this one for a few hours.

&list=RDj7a64ENvu9Q&index=6

renate

(13,776 posts)
17. I didn't know there was a word for this kind of music!
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 04:55 PM
Feb 2020

THANK YOU!

Do you ever listen to the sounds on mynoise.net? It's really awesome! More than 200 customizable sounds. They even have one for cafe background noise, but I'm listening to the railroad one right now.

Mike 03

(16,616 posts)
20. There's a lot of really good advice in this discussion. Just thought I'd add some
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 05:33 PM
Feb 2020

advice from one of the essays in "The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump" by a therapist who simultaneously treats patients traumatized by Trump while herself suffering from the same trauma.

She writes that one of the biggest mistakes her patients make is constantly checking for news, looking for breaking news, reading and listening to and watching the news in the false belief that accumulating information leads to a sense of "control" over what cannot be controlled. She tells her patients not to do this because it can actually backfire, leading to a greater sense of paralysis and loss of control. In other words, more information doesn't equal greater peace of mind or sense of mastery over what is not controllable.

I'm in the same boat. It's been more than three gruelling years.

Take care of yourself.





Blue_Tires

(55,445 posts)
21. My tips
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 05:34 PM
Feb 2020

1. If it's feasible, try to rescue a dog or cat from the shelter.

1a. Or even better, find a boyfriend/girlfriend if you're single

2. Every time Trump comes on the TV, just turn. Just watch local news and avoid the big-time cable channels. When you want world news try a foreign service like BBC or France24 or the CBC.

3. Find a like-minded community to let off some steam with, even if it's an online one. Get off facebook and youtube (unless they are respectable, legit established accounts). And don't be afraid to black out the news AND online activity for a few days -- makes a huge difference.

4. Volunteer for your local Dems if you aren't already -- Put that rage into action!

5. Take note that now more than ever, the political left is overflowing with trolls, infiltrators and useful idiots who parrot agitprop, smears, contrarianism, disinfo, discord and defeatism. I could easily name 50 high-profile liberal accounts on Twitter with hundreds of thousands of followers each that are 100% fake, trying to sabotage us, or lowkey working for Trump. Learn how to quickly identify them and cut them out of your life. (If you want, I can give you my tips on how to easily identify trolls and traitors)

5a: Don't fuck around with trolls, ever... There's too much at stake to waste even an iota of time or energy on them. Ignore/block and move on, because to refute a troll's argument first you have to legitimize and repeat it. ONLY focus on promoting FACT and TRUTH instead of disproving LIES.

6. Find something nostalgic or innocent to partake in every couple of days. Something that remind you of your childhood or just a happier time. Old movies? Sitcom reruns? Emulated video games? Find something that makes you laugh. I'm going to turn 44 this year and I watch almost as many cartoons now as I did when I was a kid...

7. It goes without saying, but make sure you exercise, even if it's just to take a walk...

8. ALWAYS REMEMBER: Our enemies *want* us to feel sad, depressed, isolated and hopeless so we'll give up and stop trying. Trump isn't invincible, and just because things are the way they are right now they don't have to stay that way. Never forget that these are incredibly dumb, unqualified and inexperienced people we're up against here, not Lex Luthor... So have hope and find the patience to see this through to the other side.

9. Find a way to drop your grudges, because what's past is past. Never do both, but either you forgive or you forget. I'll tell you from experience that I hold some very specific people on the left and right responsible for this current nightmare, and it's eating me up inside like acid. It has given me a myriad of health problems and I have no doubt is also taking years off my lifespan. And even though when my mind is idle I love to daydream about rounding my enemies list up in one spot and dropping them in the ocean so I can watch them drown like rats, I ultimately know that this isn't productive and just as hollow and meaningless as masturbation. If this is you, find a way to defeat this demon and don't wind up like me.

malaise

(269,054 posts)
22. Exercise - go for walks and enjoy the beauty of nature
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 05:39 PM
Feb 2020

spend time with family talking about family things, watch sport and find ways to laugh with everyone ridiculing the cretin, his goons, check out the cartoons and the late night shows, life and yourself. Another important thing is to get involved with voting them all out.

moondust

(19,993 posts)
23. This year...
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 07:11 PM
Feb 2020

is likely to be very, very ugly due to the continuous campaign trash, lies, insults, dirty tricks, cheating, crass mob behavior, etc, on top of all the usual shithole corruption and incompetence of the past 3 years. I'd recommend doing almost anything other than following the "news."

Got a hobby?

moondust

(19,993 posts)
25. Cool.
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 10:36 PM
Feb 2020

Also, if you like to travel, this year would be a good time for an extended vacation abroad. Just tell them you're Canadian.

 

OliverQ

(3,363 posts)
31. I love travel.
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 11:07 PM
Feb 2020

My family is actually trying to move to Europe or Canada, but it's very difficult since I get can't a work visa there and they won't go unless I go with them.

polichick

(37,152 posts)
26. Spend time in nature, plug in to universal energy - it revives...
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 10:42 PM
Feb 2020

and puts our human dramas into context.

ooky

(8,924 posts)
30. I was feeling like this a while back so I shut off the sources of the negative energy making
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 11:01 PM
Feb 2020

me feel this way. MSNBC was the first to go. If I do daytime TV its Thom Hartmann and Randi Rhodes. No more daytime MSNBC/CNN. Having another Democrat to talk to helps too. For me that's my next door neighbor. Rekindle your love for things you enjoyed before poison politics got you in its grips. A set of headphones and something to make you remember who you used to be. Here's one that works great for me.



Good luck!

DesertRat

(27,995 posts)
32. Watching a lot of news can really affect my mood
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 11:23 PM
Feb 2020

Staying away from the news for awhile can work wonders. And if the weather permits in your area, try to get outside for a walk in the sunshine. Being in nature is therapeutic for me. Be well.

58Sunliner

(4,386 posts)
33. Sorry you are having a hard time-I'm having a flare today also.
Thu Feb 6, 2020, 11:29 PM
Feb 2020

A little PTSD. Do you garden? Just remember that we are in this together. Tonight I snuggled with the cats and watched some cop show. CBD oil really helped with my depression.

Dem2theMax

(9,651 posts)
34. Lots of good recommendations in this thread.
Fri Feb 7, 2020, 12:10 AM
Feb 2020

As others have said, basically put yourself on a news diet.

I had to do that as I was becoming overwhelmed.
I stopped recording a lot of the shows that I used to watch every day.

The only one I have added back in is Colbert. And some evenings I can't listen to his monologue. Some nights, I can't laugh, even when Colbert is making fun of drumpf.

Find something that you normally enjoy, and do more of that. I love old movies, so I've been watching a lot more TCM. And I especially watch for comedies. Laughing at something that is actually funny is really good for you.

And I give myself a 'vacation' every week. On Sunday, the only thing I look at on DU is Lolcats. That's it. Just that one thread and I'm done for the day. And it always puts me in a good mood.

And I can highly recommend CBD oil. It has been a lifesaver for my moods. I started to take it for arthritic pain, never expecting it to be such a mood stabilizer. But it has done wonders for me.

I buy my CBD Oil here --
Pluscbdoil.com

I searched high and low and got a lot of advice before I ended up with that particular brand. I've been extremely happy with it.

Good luck, and know that we are always here to give you a hug, or a shoulder to lean on.


AwakeAtLast

(14,130 posts)
35. I could have written this post
Fri Feb 7, 2020, 02:12 AM
Feb 2020

I feel much the same way.

I have had to turn off all news and I only read DU occasionally.

Sorry, that's all I've got.

mahina

(17,668 posts)
36. You are not alone.
Fri Feb 7, 2020, 10:06 AM
Feb 2020

Excercise
New Chapter Perfect Calm (vitamins)
Make time for family and friends in real life
Find a counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist that you like and go see them
Stay away from junk food and junk news
Find a local chapter of Indivisible and join them for postcard writing
Volunteer for your community or candidate
Listen to Rev Dr William Barber, Preet Bharara
Check out the mental health group here on DU

I feel you 100%. We’d be nuts not to react but remember to find the beauty and small joys where you can. Most people are good.

Good luck


Hortensis

(58,785 posts)
37. For depresson and anxiety?! #1 absolutely cut toxic political discussion
Fri Feb 7, 2020, 10:36 AM
Feb 2020

out of your life. Of course. These places destroy understanding and perspective as much as they add nattering information that's at least 75% worthless to development of knowledge. That includes open political forums, political anything, turning off MSNBC and CNN. You have 2, at most 3 votes to come through on this year, and you already essentially know what you want. At most come to DU to check out some of the better news and articles being posted, then leave. At least until you're strong enough to wade in again.

Just that disconnecting from warped, poisoned attitudes and media with agendas to deceive and destroy belief and conviction is only good, sensible mental health and reason maintenance and may be enough all by itself.

But I've been thinking I need to spend more time with happy activities that could continue on no matter what happened, ones that calm and reassure, make me look around and help keep things in perspective. Also, I used to do a fair amount of volunteer work before I got sick and started moving around. Coming together to do something good is happiness making, pride and conviction building, and it connects people with some of the best of each other, instead of their worst.

Maraya1969

(22,483 posts)
38. I don't know if you would be interested in this but I have found such great help
Fri Feb 7, 2020, 11:24 AM
Feb 2020

in the study and practice of Advaita Vedanta. Basically it is a belief, (and for many people it also becomes and experience) that there is a God and everything is God. The biggest principle for me that helps is everything is just an illusion of the mind and when you can, "awaken" from the belief that you are your mind or your body you will see everything differently.

In other words you will not see the type of Hell that we see just looking at things now. So with that in mind, I remind myself a lot that none of this a actually real on another level and so I don't have to be bothered by it. I often forget this and get upset anyway but when I remember and make this a firm belief I truly feel peace.

It may sounds like a tall order and it kind of is but it has helped me soooo much. And I have become a convert just by watching Youtube videos of people who have achieved this state of being. I also ended up going to one retreat with Eckhart Tolle and a few with Mooji.

Here is a short video with Eckhart and Oprah.



And I listened to this audio for years; mostly not understanding it but it always gave me a sense of peace.

deek

(3,414 posts)
39. solar lights
Fri Feb 7, 2020, 12:46 PM
Feb 2020

I've filled my backyard with colorful solar lights. It's a magical retreat in the evening.

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