John Bolton Claims Trump's Daily Hair & Makeup Routine Takes 2 Hours

[Quixote1818]

Satire site and probably all made up but it still cracked me up and Trump folks won't know what satire is Who knows, maybe part of it really is in Bolton's book?


Snip:

The latest intrigue revealed by Bolton’s new book, however, is a claim that President Trump’s hair and makeup routine take two hours every day.

The following is an excerpt from Bolton’s manuscript leaked exclusively to The Halfway Post:

“The President does not do any official work until his hair and makeup are finished. The makeup process takes 25 minutes, and his hair takes another hour and a half to sculpt into a mop that obscures the reality that Trump is almost entirely bald. When Trump’s entourage was in England on an official visit with the Queen, Her Majesty was kept waiting an hour because Trump’s staff had forgotten his favorite hairspray, and the President did not trust any British brands. He could be heard screaming at his aides from several rooms down that they were embarrassing him. He yelled that it was a matter of extreme national security that he never go without his favorite hairspray variety. The Queen remarked that Trump was a ‘bigger priss’ than her. Trump eventually settled for some styling gel, and the Queen laughed at his hairdo when she saw it, which convinced Trump to start being against NATO. He said America would never come to the defense of a country with a Queen who was ‘such a total c***.’ He then speculated that the Queen must have been ‘on the rag,’ and been ‘bleeding from her wherever.’ He perked up a little bit later at the royal dinner reception, though, when the Queen made sure he got more scoops of ice cream than anyone else, and she directed the royal staff to serve his dessert in a big goblet much larger and flashier than anyone else’s. He clapped his hands together and giggled like a little boy when he saw that he got the best goblet.”

Link: https://halfwaypost.com/2020/01/27/john-bolton-claims-trumps-daily-hair-makeup-routine-takes-2-hours/?fbclid=IwAR3OloAl2dvUnMcOiTV9lZz2ycsWYlX9og2R6tksyBAImQ_O-ZLtuwI5-cY

[magicarpet]

1. Was that the time trDump burnt holes in the Queen's front lawn...

..... from the exhaust jets of his helicopter upon landings and take offs ?

The Queen was some upset about the damage done to her front lawn.

[Turbineguy]

2. Be it as it may

that's not an impeachable offense.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. It's just a funny story! Certainly not an impeachable offense. n/t

[panader0]

3. Lordy

[underthematrix]

5. This shit made me laugh til I cried.

[ooky]

6. May be satire but all very believable which makes it so damn funny.

That wig looks like it could take every bit of 2 hours and 2 bottles of hair spray to prepare and glue on to his head every day.