My 8000th post - only took 17 years
I signed up back in 2002 and use this site as my primary news source. Thanks to all for the breadth I see everyday on science, art, music, humor, news and opinion.
There have been many end of year/holiday season reflections posted. Some uplifting, others depressing, some downright worrisome. Mrs. Scrutinizer died two and a half years ago so all significant dates on the calendar open the wounds again. But time is softening the effects. I haven't sobbed in a long time and I can talk about her without my voice cracking. To those of you with a recent loss all I can offer is my hope that your grief will also lessen.
Our extended family used to draw names so each person only had to give one present ($25 limit). Several years ago we agreed that we would not exchange gifts at all. (Except those who knit or crochet or sew sometimes give away a wool hat or shirt.) We have been inoculated against the guilt and panic that seem to be the theme of every advertisement. Nobody has to do any shopping! No stress! Instead, we each put money into a hat (sliding scale, $20 recommended contribution). And we each put the name of our favorite progressive nonprofit in another hat. A name is drawn, the money is bundled and sent off. Then we sit down and have a potluck dinner.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Late and gotta go.
Gonna give you a 
for the holidays. We lost some that way as well.
Best to you and yours.
means that we have given love and are the richer for it. I like your idea for gift exchanges as our family also is disgusted by the rampant commercialization of this holiday. My daughter came up with the idea for our family to "gift" each other by cooking a new dish and having fun messing around in the kitchen.
I wish you tranquility and hope that the happy memories surface more frequently than the sad ones.
I also signed up back in the early 2000s and just passed 1500 posts! I came to DU via Media Horse. I mostly come to read and also like you, catch up on the news.
re gifting: My family went along the same path as yours--from giving to everyone, to drawing names, then just for the kids, until they are all big now so the giving is done. (that sounds kind of sad!) Even my husband and I are not exchanging anything this year. We find things for each other during the year so there's nothing we need or want right now. He had some health problems in Nov, so the last thing we need is the extra stress of trying to do any shopping etc. Just peace and quiet will be perfect.
Sending condolences and peace to your heart. And congrats on your DU milestone! 
which seems like a natural evolution taken with the years and increasing wisdom. Wish more would make it. Some relatives flee to SE Asia each fall to avoid it, but your family makes that seem unnecessarily extreme.
