My Daughter Married her Partner this Weekend

[maxrandb]

Well, that's not exactly true. This weekend we had a great party with vows, sumptuous food, music and dancing, open bar, and beautiful dresses.

This was a celebration of love and commitment, but this was the 2ND time my daughter and her partner got married.

See, shortly after this flaming piece of amphibian shit was elected, and almost immediately after Justice Renquist retired, my daughter and her partner felt forced to rush to the courthouse to get married.

What should have been a time of joyous celebration, planning the ceremony, stressing the parents as we worry about every logistical issue, laughed and reminiscing as we built the guest list... you know... normal American family life... was instead turned into a screaming rush to the courts to get in under the deadline like you were driving a getaway car from a bank robbery.

I want to thank all the Retrumplicans, and also those many Democrats and progressives who thought "there's no difference between the parties".

I'll be honest with you. Having a lesbian daughter was not this parents dream. It's not what I would have wished for. Not because it's sinful, or different... and not for any of the reasons you may think.

I know that life is hard enough, and I know that it is more difficult for LGBTQ folks. I know that there is going to be a lot of people that are going to treat my daughter with hatred and disdain, simply because of who she loves. Not many parents would wish that for their child.

When family, former friends and co-workers ask why I want nothing to do with them anymore, I'd like to tell them this story.

This was not a case of you voting for one side and me voting for another...this was a case of you voting for a party that wants to see my child institutionalized, or killed. This is you voting for a party that sees my child as something that is broken and needs to be shunned and shut off from society. This is a story of you supporting a party whose DOJ is arguing that my child should lose her job because of who she loves.

How could I possibly act as if we are still friends or family?

My daughter is a fantastic, smart, compassionate, caring and loving person. I hope that she will be fine and have a loving, fulfilling and joyous life.

But when I think of her... nervous, crying, confused and scared as she raced to the courthouse like a criminal... that is something I can't forget and won't forgive.

I hope the taxcut and the destruction of life saving regulations was worth it.

[50 Shades Of Blue]

1. K & R!!!

[nycbos]

2. Mawwige

Congratulations to your daughter and her wife.

[sarge43]

3. Excellent. Love, laughter and long life together for the adorable couple.

Please tell them they have a lot of people covering their back. The haters won't win.

[Demsrule86]

4. Nothing was worth having Trump...my Gay daughter is in far more danger because of him and his

minions. If God forbid he is reelected we are seriously considering sending my daughter to Ireland. We have the right of return as my husband is first generation.

[Skidmore]

7. Mine too.

She just came out last year. I'm scared for her.

[Demsrule86]

10. It is terrifying. I live in Ohio...and the state as whole disapproves of Trump...underwater here

but he has die hard supporters, one who planned to blow up the JCC in Youngstown (gym my kids go to) and Planned Parenthood...my kids have insurance but want to support Planned Parenthood so they go there too. My daughter was spit on at a festival last year and cursed by his supporters who wished for her death. There was a demonstration at her unity meeting where armed deplorables showed up...Unity is now disbanded because faculty members refuse to support it...you must have a faculty adviser. I will hate those who helped elect Trump...Stein voters , Greens etc until my dying day. They hurt the progressive cause badly because of the courts, Trumps actions and they endangered my daughter and other LGBTQ in particular. Those who didn't vote, or voted for Stein or God forbid for Trump (I saw on JCC that some planned to do this;one is now back here),you have blood on your hands and behaved despicably...personally it is my opinion that no real progressive would have done this....The parties are not the same and Clinton would have been a great president.

[Skidmore]

18. It's horrific

to see the wall of hatred. My daughter lives in a suburb of Chicago. She was married for a wile and has children so this wel weo affects them. I share your feelings about groups which have enabled these extremists. The fanatical religious groups are especially terrifying. There is no middle ground for them. Not respecters of person or rights in their certitude.

[lonely bird]

38. I live in Portage County, Ohio.

And it is as red as you can get. Ravenna is dying on the vine.

Asshat Trumpers.

[wiggs]

9. Could send her to the Bay Area instead? My daughter lives there w her fiance and

there's community and acceptance there. Acceptance isn't even the right word because gay couples aren't not an issue nor much of a difference. They are just another couple.

[Demsrule86]

11. She is a teacher...pretty expensive area but we could support her...the issue is I fear that with

one more justice they will overturn Lawrence...and Hardwick which allowed prison for Gay folks (Sodomy laws) will once again be the law of the land. That is federal. I fear persecution if Trump is elected again on a federal level.

[Coventina]

5. Thank you. I posted a thread here on Sunday about the end of my relationship

with my dad over Trump.

I got quite a few lectures about "putting family before politics."

Those people just don't get it.

Congrats to you, your daughter, and your "new" daughter!

[Demsrule86]

13. I was one who felt you should try to work it out...but I was wrong...probably didn't know the

entire story...my brother who is GOP is not a hater and accepts my daughter and her choice as a partner. He is against the immigration fiasco also.

[calimary]

6. Standing right there with you, maxrandb.

Last edited Wed Oct 30, 2019, 10:50 AM - Edit history (1)

Right there with ya, my friend. AND with your daughter and her spouse.

Having two kids, now grown and on their own - one married, the other seriously dating, the only thing that concerns me about their lives and their choices is one question. “Are you happy?” I just don’t care about anything else by now.

I am so grateful that both of them can honestly answer in the affirmative. That’s all I want and all I could hope for at this point. For ANYBODY’s kids. Yours included.

[Demsrule86]

14. +1000

[wiggs]

8. congrats! My daughter is proposing this week! Very pleased. nt

[iamateacher]

12. She is fortunate to have you as a parent

Congratulations on their nuptials!

[MLAA]

15. May the newlyweds remain happy and healthy

Sure sounds like your daughter in law has a wonderful mother in law💐💐💐💐💐

[RainCaster]

16. Congrats! Maybe they should consider the Left Coast?

With a few rare exceptions, the Pacific Coast hates DFT and his minions. We also have a live and let live attitude about sexual orientation & identity. For the most part, we have a better economy too.

[lpbk2713]

17. I hope America has learned how dangerous and harmful the (R) party is.

I wish the new couple a long and happy life together.

[murielm99]

19. I have a

gay family member, and one who is bi. I worry about their safety.

[AllaN01Bear]

20. congrats and good on them

[JaneQPublic]

21. Congrats! (nt)

[Maru Kitteh]

22. Congratulations. I hope you've given some of your friends/family something to think about

You never know what will jolt people out of their coma.

[TruthAlwaysWins]

23. Very well articulated, maxrandb!

...and you are a wonderful, supportive mother.

[maxrandb]

31. I'm a supportive "father", but my bride feels the same

We saw the fear in my daughters eyes when she told us that she felt she needed to get to the courthouse so that at least they would have "standing" when they came for her right to happiness.

[eppur_se_muova]

24. That seventh para -- exactly the reason I have long felt that baseless* discrimination ...

of any sort is the worst of all character flaws. When someone who is "different" from their neighbors is treated differently, and forced to behave differently, because of something they were born with, and not at all of their own doing, that's too much like punishment for guilt by attainder, which is unconstitutional.

Not being a Christian (they tried, but it refused to "take&quot I can't call it a sin, but it's whatever is the moral equivalent based on a sense of ethics rather than authoritarian "commandments".







*Implies there is "baseful" discrimination for reason, such as that against liars, cheats, and other Republicans.

[Hortensis]

25. :) Congratulations. Now maybe take the next step for the life

you want them to have: start getting along, for the most part, with those people, right and left, who will always be with with us and always be part of with your daughter's and her partner's lives.

No excuse for them, but reality is bad leaders lead ordinary follower types down bad paths. If their "group" chose better leaders they'd be better people, often much better.

Remember when they believed they were caring and compassionate, law abiding, patriotic, progressive, anti-racism, whatever? Who among them, right or left, would have believed five years ago that they'd support intense, permanently traumatizing cruelty against thousands of babies and small children rather than vote for Hillary? At least half who voted to betray LGBTQ people had actually sincerely thought they were caring supporters. In fact, some still cluelessly do.

[Raftergirl]

26. Congratulations!!!

🍾 🥂

[FM123]

27. Sending you and your whole family lots of happy wishes and congrats again!

[gratuitous]

28. Mazel tov to the happy couple

I had a friend with a gay child, active in his church, classic kindly old man. He printed up business cards about loving his daughter, just to get his side of the conversation out to the people who preferred to gabble Bible verses at him and then skedaddle. His standard statement to his fellow Mennonites who "just couldn't," was to ask them if they wanted his child to marry someone of the opposite sex and have both of them be miserable? Would they volunteer their own children for such a life of misery? Of course not.

He was very low key, non-confrontational, but I think he got more than one person's brain started on a different track on the subject.

[Iliyah]

29. Congrats!

[lunatica]

30. I love what you said!

ALL politics is local!

[Karadeniz]

32. LOVED your letter. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!❤

[Ferrets are Cool]

33. This should have 300 recs.

[flotsam]

34. I stole your post and put it on FB...

I probably should have asked permission first, but instead I ask forgiveness. I have a lesbian daughter and you managed to write exactly what I felt but could never get quite right. She knows well that I love her and accept her but your writing says the exact things I never told her. So I'm sorry for presuming upon your goodwill and want to say "Thank you"...

[maxrandb]

37. That's OK with me

I think we should share away how fucked this country is by electing this absolute turd.

My reality is a small nuisance compared to people who have had their children ripped from them, or had their parents deported.

The most hurtful things is that all of this pain and evil these soulless pricks are raining on America was so unnecessary.

It's a festering self inflicted wound on the soul of our country.

My daughter is strong. She is empathetic. She is smart. She is intelligent, and she will be OK.

She has a strong support group, but she will have to deal with a lot of bullshit...all because a handful of voters stayed home, voted for 3RD party, or just Shrugged and said; "meh, how much harm could he do"?

We can't make that mistake again.

[Hekate]

35. Congratulations to the happy couple and the whole extended family...

And if you ever decide to send all those other people a message, what you said is just fine.

[onethatcares]

36. the best for

the couple. I have no other words that would work.

[Totally Tunsie]

39. Beautifully said.

[smirkymonkey]

40. Congrats maxrandb!

To you, your daughter, her partner and your family! I am glad they could finally have the celebration that they deserve! Try to stay present in this happiness for a little while.

I know how angry you must feel, and I do too. It makes me sick the way these narrow minded bastards want to destroy the lives of people that they don't know or understand simply because of their sick prejudices. I really hope karma is a thing and I would like to think that it will come around soon.

[Laurelin]

41. Congrats!

Congratulations to your daughter and her partner! I hope society continues to become more accepting, for your daughter and daughter in law, and for mine.