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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI'm tired of the Uber military worship
Im gonna be politically incorrect here. Dont get me wrong. I do appreciate our military and our vets. I just dont understand how some vets are so entitled. Ill give you an example:
My daughter has put herself through college to be a speech language pathologist and teacher. She has worked hard her entire life and her first job was when she was 12.
She says that 9 out of 10 military vets who come into the restaurant where she serves to pay for her education are not satisfied with the free entre they get. They want a bar drink free too and rarely tip.
This weekend I had to run into a Home Depot. I had dropped my husband off and was going to run to the bank when I realized he forgot his wallet in the car. I saw the vet parking spot right up front and was only going to run in for a minute if even that. Albeit this is just a courtesy parking spot. Not illegal to park there. So I pulled in and was running out when an old white guy jumps out of his old white van covered in pro trump and pro America and Christian stickers.
Mind you, Im in a hurry because I had no intention of staying in that spot. But he charges at me and gets in my face and yells, What branch of the military did you serve in? This caught me off guard as well as made me a little nervous. But I dont tend to back down when confronted. Im the type that would go down fighting. So I said, Thats none of your god damned business. And kept briskly walking into the entrance. The guy FOLLOWS ME. And yells, Im a vet and youre NOT! All I said was, Good for you! I saw my husband. Gave him his wallet and started to leave as the guy stands there mad dogging me the whole way!
Now this does nothing more than make me want to park in that spot any damned time I feel like it!
Rant over.
Skittles
(153,193 posts)uh huh
and you should not park in a spot not designated for you
And of course, no life long civilians have ever, ever behaved badly. *cough*trump*cough* for starters.
It was chuckle worthy.
Gonna go find my waders now.
Skittles
(153,193 posts)no INDEED
Gonna join the other poster in donning my waders. And I'm a vet, as I know you are as well.
Response to Adsos Letter (Reply #53)
Skittles This message was self-deleted by its author.
Trenzalore
(2,331 posts)So was my dad but he passed.
She was Lt. in the army in the nursing corp in Vietnam. She has ran into the "old guy" who demands to know about her service who makes an assumption that a 70 year old woman couldn't have served her country. They get beaten back pretty quick when for the most part they find out they just disrespected an officer.
I think she has heard, that spot is for your husband a few times. She laughs and says I outranked both my husbands in the army.
sarge43
(28,945 posts)I have a veteran's plate on my beater. "Old guy" comes by and says "What branch was your husband in?"
"Air Force...just like me."
"Oh."
"Yeah and I outrank him."
"oh"
(Someday I'm going to get snippy. "It's our country, too, a-hole."
11 Bravo
(23,926 posts)sarge43
(28,945 posts)walkingman
(7,660 posts)nation chooses to start without cause. I think the US is becoming a rogue nation.
DemocracyMouse
(2,275 posts)And all this idolization of guns thrown in and what do we get? The USA is more dangerous than it should be. More likely to get killed by a bullet than many war zones.
Our priorities only serve war profiteering.
That's not to say that those who risk their lives within such a dubious framework don't deserve our sympathy.
But I know countless teachers, firemen and nurses who could use a break too.
roody
(10,849 posts)qazplm135
(7,447 posts)first of all, I don't know many groups where 9/10 of them do anything good or bad.
second of all, you parked in a spot reserved for someone else, what are you getting pissy about?
I tip all of the time, very well...I tip standard for poor service and better than that for better service...and I'm military.
I think you need to learn the fact that the tiny sphere of people you interact with or family members interact with are not all that important in describing the greater whole.
There are millions of current and former military members out there, but the handful your daughter serves describes them all?
AncientGeezer
(2,146 posts)sarge43
(28,945 posts)Plus, and this is top secret, we're all cloned in bowels of the Pentagon.
qazplm135
(7,447 posts)so I assume people just think I was created in the bowels alright...of hell.
sarge43
(28,945 posts)I'm also half Black...so listen, stereotypes and me are bosom buddies.
sarge43
(28,945 posts)FM123
(10,054 posts)lpbk2713
(42,766 posts)Rather than deal with something so controversial. Then the parking lot police will have to find something else to complain about. And I would have told him to FO too.
USN 65 - 69
Corgigal
(9,291 posts)However this veteran doesnt ask you for shit, but I gave years of my life to this country.
We may have military in active hot zone any minute, this was poorly timed.
AncientGeezer
(2,146 posts)And then park in a Vets spot....bad deal parking in a Vet's spot to start with and then berate a Vet.
Bad choice.
As most others have said....don't.
ripcord
(5,537 posts)It just isn't where the OP thinks it is.
dameatball
(7,399 posts)right in". Sometimes running into jerks is hard to avoid, but just walking another twenty feet would have helped alleviate the entire situation.
Blue_true
(31,261 posts)I too get upset when people do things they should not. I saw a young guy finish drinking from a bottle, tighten the lid and drop it on the parking lot, a trashcans was just five feet away. I picked up the bottle after he drove away and deposited it in the receptacle that was set up for it.
People either didn't learn manners and etiquette or they choose to ignore it in some situations, either way leads to conduct and situations that can be avoided. I am not trying to justify a jackass who likely sits around waiting to challenge people, it is just I don't believe in giving them a platform.
Ahpook
(2,751 posts)Is what gets on my nerves! If you want to do something... how about doing it instead of lying about it?
My dad was retired military and somehow uncovered one of these dicks. My dad was certain he was stolen valor and found out. He talked incessantly about his "career" and most of it made no sense which threw red flags.
I don't know if you can order records even if not a family member?
Not sure how he did that
WyattKansas
(1,648 posts)But why in the hell did the United States think it was a good idea to start putting the military on a pedestal like they were a super citizen above all others since the latest Middle East Wars?
Even worse when alleged Christians co-opted the recent wars to exploit another crusade in the Middle East with their Christian Warrior dogma.
Some have been maimed and screwed up for life mentally because of their service and those should be helped greatly by this country. As should all veterans returning to civilian life with adequate employment in a country (the entire work force included) where one could support themselves.
But there has also been an unhealthy hero worship of service members that leads to negative effects on society as well. Thanked yes, but given a god status no. I'm just saying that the U.S. has gone way too overboard with hero worship in it's over-correction of how Vietnam Veterans were treated.
Johnny2X2X
(19,114 posts)They should be taken care of better.
At the same time, the hero worship of the military is dangerous for a society. And I know a lot of vets who dont like it all that much either. Theyd rather have good school, pay, benefits, and easy to use health care than a bunch of strangers sinking them out in public for platitudes.
maxsolomon
(33,400 posts)Or by private companies trying to insulate themselves against accusations of not caring about vets enough?
We can't see the forest for the trees; we spend all our time focusing on the feelings of "The Troops", honoring and thanking and throwing perqs their way, sending flyovers and flag ceremonies to ballgames, and none debating the MIC and the obscene DoD budget that's bankrupting our nation.
Sherman A1
(38,958 posts)I respect the service of those who have and are serving, but the worship that has developed over these last decades or so I find repulsive.
treestar
(82,383 posts)and it could be that some of them will become entitled and think they deserve a higher form of citizenship. That was never intended. If they expect that, they are not truly "serving" anyone but themselves.
Baconator
(1,459 posts)... and they're probably right.
Baitball Blogger
(46,757 posts)pnwmom
(108,994 posts)They risk their lives, too.
Or how about we limit the special parking spots to people who really need them -- the disabled people who the laws are written for.
Bettie
(16,124 posts)and "expectant mother". Old dudes park in the expectant mother spots all the time. Pretty much every time I go to a store with those spots an old dude is getting into or out of his truck, alone.
Oh, but those are for the womenfolk so it doesn't matter.
Then there are the reserved for pickups (of internet orders) and a half dozen other designations.
I agree, let's just do the disabled parking, because those are the people who truly need it.
MFM008
(19,818 posts)plain as day, reserved for Vets or wounded warriors, one of the two.
Both my parents were vets.
We were a military family.
I can use handicapped spots, if its a vets spot don't use it, even for a moment.
irisblue
(33,023 posts)For this " This weekend I had to run into a Home Depot. I had dropped my husband off and was going to run to the bank when I realized he forgot his wallet in the car. I saw the vet parking spot right up front and was only going to run in for a minute if even that." Pullover in the lot, call you husband " Babe you left your wallet, I'm over in aisle 22.
What kind of restaurant does your girl work at? Youthful women in a military filled restaurant gets more sexual hitons
AkFemDem
(1,836 posts)This was going to be about some weird Uber policy for military.... I was bummed Id missed my free Uber ride
Your daughter is exaggerating to you. I say this as someone with many years server experience... who happens to also be a veteran.
And you shouldnt have parked there.
AkFemDem
(1,836 posts)The only time Ive ever seen that has been on Veterans Day and sometimes Memorial Day. If theres a place offering it 365 a year name them so I can pass the positive word to the vet community!
Bluesaph
(703 posts)Not sure if its holidays or day of the week.
MineralMan
(146,329 posts)That's it. So, your story doesn't actually ring very true, does it.
Kurt V.
(5,624 posts)maxrandb
(15,351 posts)It used to make me cringe when people would see me in my uniform and say; "thanks for your service".
I'm extremely proud of my work in the Navy. I enjoyed almost every minute of it. Yes, we were away from family alot. We did sacrifice a bit of pay. I could have made more doing a similar job in the civilian world. Yes, sometimes the hours sucked, and each time we got underway, or went to some hot spot, it was a risk. Anytime you can stand on the deck of a ship and see nothing but water in every direction is a bit scary, but also awe inspiring.
To tell you the truth, I and my Shipmates were more worried about a major fire, accident, or getting blown off the deck by a jet blast than we were about the Sears and Roebuck boats of Iran, Iraq, or Libya.
For that, I have a lifetime pension and medical benefits most Americans can only dream of.
To me, the school teacher, grocery clerk, lawyer and day laborer did just as much, if not more than I, to advance and defend American values. The single mom raising her kids to work hard and be respectful and compassionate do more than I.
Yes, I'm proud of my service, but with few exceptions, it's nothing more than a job. A very small percentage of us have even seen a shot fired in anger. With the exception of my deployments, I got up in the morning, drove to work, drove home at the end of the day and slept in my own home.
We don't deserve the level of praise we get, and our opinions surely don't have any more weight because we served.
The Navy got me the hell out of Ohio and enabled me to walk on every continent in the world. That's thanks enough.
llmart
(15,552 posts)My sister served in Viet Nam but was "only" in the Red Cross, so even though her life was in danger and even though she suffered PTSD when she came back, no one EVER gave her anything other than the paycheck she received for volunteering to go there. She has never once expected anything in return and as a senior citizen, she has lived in HUD housing for many, many years. That's how little she got paid. She wasn't the only woman who volunteered to go help the troops in any way they could. There was and still isn't any glorification or free dinners, or "thank you for your service" etc. for her service.
There were guys who sat behind desks in DaNang and not once set foot in the "boonies", but they're hailed as heroes because they served.
The glorification of war and the military can lead to nationalistic fervor and that's what we saw happen after 9/11.
Owl
(3,643 posts)Bluesaph
(703 posts)Thanks for keeping it real!
Blaukraut
(5,693 posts)20 years in the AF, got to see the world, and never saw combat. Retirement pay and Tricare (although it's not what it used to be like when it was CHAMPUS back in the day). He has never liked being thanked for his service because most of the time it comes across as disingenuous.
Kaleva
(36,341 posts)Jake Stern
(3,145 posts)There was this guy, mid-30's, Eagle, Globe and Anchor tattoo, berating the poor cashier because the restaurant didn't offer a veteran's discount. To make it worse his wife was joining in telling the clerk that he was being disrespectful to a Marine and an Iraq war veteran, etc.
My retired Seabee dad couldn't take it anymore he got up in the guy's face and asked him "Why did you join the military? Was it to serve your country or get free shit? If I can bring myself to pay full cost then SO CAN YOU!".
They grumbled, paid and left.
So yes there are veterans who seem to have a deep sense of entitlement and the idea that just because they put on a uniform they should get special treatment.
Response to Bluesaph (Original post)
Anon-C This message was self-deleted by its author.
Wounded Bear
(58,706 posts)and saying "Thank you for your service." I'm convinced it's become another one of those things that people do to make themselves feel better. I served, and yeah more often than not I'm wearing a ball cap with my service proudly displayed, so I could avoid it if I really wanted to, but whatever.
I've kind of evolved on it. I've always been polite and respectful of people who do it, but I've kind of evolved to where I usually say something lame like, "Thank you for noticing."
I served during Vietnam, but not IN Vietnam. I was spared the trauma of combat.
I guess I'm a little conflicte, but kind of agree with the OP. I think most vets are glad to have survived and just to have come home.
pintobean
(18,101 posts)I'm a vet, but I rarely use that spot. Below is what I saw in that spot today.
It's private property, which you disrespected, when you decided you were more deserving than people like this.
You parking in that spot is the only part of your bouncy that I buy. Like someone above posted, stolen valor.
Skittles
(153,193 posts)yes indeed
Horse with no Name
(33,956 posts)🤪
JonLP24
(29,322 posts)Maybe an occasional "thanks for your service" if someone sees it on my ID but people talk a good game but when it comes to actually personally knowing a veteran they couldn't care less. People talk a lot about homeless veterans but very few actually care if they know a homeless veteran.
I don't believe the 9 out of 10 part though.
This vet doesn't ask anything of you. Thank you for letting me serve.
Bluesaph
(703 posts)We dont have a draft. People who serve in the military are paid. They get a lot of other perks like medical for life, cheap insurance and help buying their homes, help to go to college, if they are injured their kids to to college free.
Private businesses should not have to provide free shit for vets when we are all already paying toward all their benefits.
To those who dont believe my daughters experience, F off. Shes been serving for seven years at numerous restaurants, currently Yard House. If thats the experience shes had then who is anyone to say its not? For some reason when a vet walks in and starts asking what freebies they are going to get she automatically knows her tip and time is going to be shit. Shes someone who gets $100 bills left for her service because shes a great server.
I can park wherever I damned well please and this post just made me want to park in that spot every damned time. Its not illegal. So anyone who doesnt like it can also F off.
How about we have a reserved spot for teachers who babysit and educate the future vets who will be sacrificed to republican wars? That I would honor!
qazplm135
(7,447 posts)Every single veteran walks in and asks for free stuff?
I've never asked for free stuff in my life.
You can say fuck off all you want and I can say fuck off for making ridiculous generalizations.
ChubbyStar
(3,191 posts)This thread is bizarre and full of broad brush accusations.
Bluesaph
(703 posts)Sorry you took it personally.
ChubbyStar
(3,191 posts)"So anyone who doesnt like it can also F off." Now I ask you, was that specific? It appears that you have lost the plot.
Response to ChubbyStar (Reply #82)
Post removed
You sound like someone whose opinion on these things is rock solid.
pintobean
(18,101 posts)RhodeIslandOne
(5,042 posts)Oooh, oohh....do a fire lane next!
Skittles
(153,193 posts)riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
Skittles
(153,193 posts)Kaleva
(36,341 posts)Last edited Tue Oct 15, 2019, 08:20 AM - Edit history (2)
Your comment:
"I can park wherever I damned well please and this post just made me want to park in that spot every damned time. "
No you can't. Those parking areas are private property and you cannot park wherever you please. Some stores may have signs that say "Parking for customers only". This isn't a law. But the owner of the lot has the right to set rules about who, when and where people can park on their private property. Why don't you park in the store loading area next time since you say that you can park anywhere you please? There isn't any law that I'm aware of that prohibits it. Just be advised that the store has the right to have your vehicle towed away if you do so.
But keep posting. You are providing merriment for many here it appears.
Captain Stern
(2,201 posts)'We' can reserve spots for teachers. You can start.
First, go open a business that has parking spaces. Then, reserve as many of them as you want for teachers. Sounds like a plan.
Of course, somebody that's not a teacher might just tell you to F off, and park in those spaces anyway.
Let us know how it goes.
Baconator
(1,459 posts)Also, where's this free college for your kids if you've been injured thing?
Airborne has fucked my knees up like no one's business and I'd love to cash that chip in.
This is some behavior I'd expect from a Trump voter. Rabble rabble... I can do what I want and make up bullshit stereotypes based on little to no evidence because damn it... thats how I FEEEL about it.
That must make it true right?
Generic Other
(28,979 posts)he walked from the post to town in uniform while not one person offered him a ride. He couldn't even cash his last check from the government to pay for food at the grocery store.
He wouldn't have parked in the vet's space because he would have said someone more deserving might need it.
He always tipped.
And he never asked anyone to thank him.
Response to Generic Other (Reply #49)
Post removed
Bluesaph
(703 posts)Gave me a kudos. He said hes insulted that some vets demand free shit.
My daughter (same one) says when her buddy who joined the military comes home to visit he insists people pay for him wherever they go...
uh huh
ChubbyStar
(3,191 posts)pintobean
(18,101 posts)ChubbyStar
(3,191 posts)It is beyond gross.
JustABozoOnThisBus
(23,364 posts)Demonaut
(8,926 posts)BUT I love the 10% discount I get on almost everything I buy at Lowes and my license plate says "Honorably Discharged Veteran", not for the acknowledgement but in hope that the cop pulling me over is a vet too...I know..evil, right?
Yeah, I see that trend in friends I served with, on FB.
Bluesaph
(703 posts)Garrett78
(10,721 posts)Kaleva
(36,341 posts)Some Home Depot stores have parking spots reserved for vets who have been wounded.
"Home Depot district manager John Tuten told Fox News the store wanted to reach out to the community with the charity. "We at The Home Depot are thankful for all of those who have served our great country," Tuten says.
Wounded Warriors Family Support provides the signs to companies free of charge. And because the stores also control their parking lots, they get to choose how to divvy up the spaces. Each participating store has three spots available for veterans wounded in combat."
https://www.wideopencountry.com/the-home-depot-adds-purple-heart-parking-spaces-in-43-states/
Bluesaph
(703 posts)They are a vet and what do they do for vets? She tells them the free entre on such and such day and they ask for a bar drink for free. Thats when she can tell.
Kaleva
(36,341 posts)But I'd revise your OP to say:
"She says that 9 out of 10 military vets, who identify themselves as such, that come into the restaurant where she serves to pay for her education are not satisfied with the free entre they get. They want a bar drink free too and rarely tip."
I think you'd agree that it's quite possible that a number of vets who do come into the restaurant where your daughter works do not tell your daughter they are vets and do not ask for the free entre.
RobinA
(9,894 posts)that whenever perqs start being given out you create a certain percentage of members of the class to whom they are being given to start expecting them. To me, asking for freebies and then grumbling when they arent being offered is never a good look. It isnt just vets.
I agree with your point about idolizing the military. Not because of how anyone acts, but because I do think its a bit dangerous to society. I particularly dont like how the military suddenly owns the flag. Not standing for the flag is disrespecting the military. No.
JonLP24
(29,322 posts)troops.
I am a veteran that supports Kaepernick's message and whenever I mention that to someone bringing up "disrespectful" I receive crickets. I don't think the RW understands how diverse the military is.
ooky
(8,929 posts)would designate himself as the "veteran parking place police" and lay in wait to chase after people parking in those spots to ask them if they really belong there. That's a fucking mental defect if I ever heard one.
Bluesaph
(703 posts)And that was sort of the point if the thread.
Stinky The Clown
(67,818 posts)But you sure can paint with a broad brush.
UNREC
ChubbyStar
(3,191 posts)This is one painting that belongs in the shitter.
Baked Potato
(7,733 posts)Your daughter wants to see Vets appreciate their free stuff more. And, your husband forgot his wallet, so you were in a hurry.
Didnt convince me of anything.
Bluesaph
(703 posts)Ill survive.
Iggo
(47,565 posts)...by how much they tip after they get something for free.
Coventina
(27,172 posts)sarisataka
(18,770 posts)Do you park in the spots reserved for expectant mothers?
Coventina
(27,172 posts)I just think it's stupid, and I'm inclined to not patronize places that do stuff like that.
tirebiter
(2,539 posts)Do you want them pay 15% of nothing or 20% of nothing. Hey they want free stuff, they must be for Bernie.
JonLP24
(29,322 posts)Corporate welfare, tax breaks, sports stadiums, all taxpayer money being transferred into the hands of private interests. The reason why we pay more in tuition than other countries is precisely because we are so conservative compared to other Western democracies. The treasury is being looted by private corporations and have been for some time.
JustABozoOnThisBus
(23,364 posts)I have an idea of what the meal would cost normally, and leave a tip based on that. It's so easy, even a former Marine can figure it out.
Bozo, former Army.
Bluesaph
(703 posts)I saw people who get it. And I saw people who took it personally. And I saw people who argued just because.
This is an interesting place.
GaYellowDawg
(4,449 posts)We had a LOT of military students. I found them to be...
... exactly like other groups of students. Some were smart. Some were dumb. Some tried to kiss up. Some didnt. Some were motivated. Some were not. Some seemed to be genuinely good people. Some did not. Some did well. Some did poorly. I didnt have any more or less expectations of a student in uniform, either as a student or a person.
I dont mind parking spots reserved for veterans. I think the people who live to police those spots tend to be assholes. I wouldnt park in one of those spots, but I wouldnt yell at anyone for doing so. And I probably would have told the guy to STFU and mind his own business if I saw him yelling at a woman.
What makes me a whole lot madder is abuse of handicapped spots. And what gets me really, really pissed off is asshole smokers who just pitch their butts out the window while driving. You smoked the damn thing, put it in your fucking ashtray. Especially during fire season, shitwit. I know that has nothing to do with parking spots, but it still can set me off.
TidalWave46
(2,061 posts)Sapient Donkey
(1,568 posts)If some of the asshole military folks you dealt with were not in the military, then they'd probably still be assholes but they would use something else to boost their assholeness. Although, 9 out of 10 does seems pretty high. I've come across some military folks like you described, but it's a minority. Is it possible only the asshole ones are what get the attention, and the ones who behave like assholes are simply forgotten easier?
As for the parking spot. The designated the parking spot for vets and you parked in it without being a vet. While not the same as parking in a handicapped or pregnant parking spot, it is kinda like parking in a employee of the month parking spot. It's not really harmful, but it's not really cool either.
Poiuyt
(18,130 posts)They did a masterful PR job of deifying the military in order to sell the Iraq War. No one would dare criticize the wars because all the personnel were demi-gods. For a while, it was like worshipping Roman soldiers.
I sound cynical because I feel these wars were started by Bush in order to build his political capital. He saw how popular his father was after the first Gulf War, and he wanted that same popularity. He knew that getting into a war would be an easy way for the American public to rally around him. Promoting the hero-worship of our military was part of his plan.
I apologize to any active or veteran service members as I don't mean to show disrespect. I feel that lately our wars have not been for the security of the United States, but rather for political or monetary purposes.
NCLefty
(3,678 posts)But if you do something heroic, I'll be the first to cheer.
Republican base loves military because they seem Strong & Tough (the same brain problem Trump has). Republican politicains love the military for the defense contractor graft. The military brass loves the money Republicans shovel at them for war.
But why the average military member loves someone who got 5 draft deferments and then said that "if you're captured, you're not a war hero," I will never fucking understand. That's just some willful ignorance, right there.
Kaleva
(36,341 posts)There weren't anywhere near enough men who volunteered. We probably would have lost WWII had the US relied on a all-volunteer force.
obamanut2012
(26,137 posts)Three out of ten. Beta test these things first and then tweak.
pwb
(11,287 posts)This is crap.
Mc Mike
(9,115 posts)Vets are > 10% of the homeless population, twice as likely as any other demographic to be chronically homeless.
https://themilitarywallet.com/homeless-veterans-in-america/
The combat vets who got sick from Halliburton/KBR burn pits in Iraq aren't seeing justice.
That asshole Mnuchin was foreclosing illegally on active duty military personnel, before shitler made him Treasury Sec.
That being said, there are couple of vets groups I've interacted with, I tried to pitch some of what your op is addressing. (About Face (IVAW), and Mission Continues (Threw the first parade for war vets, in St Louis). )
Most vets don't fight for their country so they can return home and see it breaking down and falling apart. They regard the service of people on the homefront as important.
The people serving on the homefront who are keeping the homefires burning are their family members, relatives, friends, neighbors, and they didn't serve overseas to come home and watch all those other Americans suffer, the suffering of those fellow Americans is a slap in the face of the vets' service to the nation.
You may see a large percentage of self entitled well to do assholes fronting on being vets in your area, but it isn't going to be representative, from a national statistics perspective. There may be a right wing employer in your daughter's area, employing a large number of similarly right wing vets who are living well and lording their status over civilians.
So an anomalously large % of assholes you are experiencing may be causing you to view reality through a skewed statistical perspective.
Many Viet era vets got screwed, but the rightwing recognized some 'talent' in the field over there, and brought back some fizzing rabid rightwingers and put them in good positions over here, where they lived the good life and fucked over the American public, who they had been 'serving' overseas.
We shouldn't lump the good ones in with the bad ones, any more than the vets should lump us in with the 'support the troops' crowd of repuglican liars. All the repugs' politicians are draft dodgers, war mongering chicken hawks, who don't care how many of our troops get killed or maimed for life.
JonLP24
(29,322 posts)Your first paragraph and subject line was more typical of my experience as a vet.
Mc Mike
(9,115 posts)Vets care about the little old lady up the street, even if she can't man a SAW in a supportive combat capacity. The little old lady up the street is some vet's mom.
The rightie draft dodging war mongers want the vet defined as some aryan looking guy in uniform on a fascist iconic poster. That's where their vet 'lives', in a frozen still shot, no needs, no family, no loyalties, no values. Frozen, reified.
Shitty Heinlein nazi psychobabble, while they let the vets down at every turn. Service doesn't guarantee citizenship. Just let a decorated combat vet say something the right doesn't like, watch how much the right protects their citizenship.
They're pulling the same shit with the coal miners, there's only 75,000 of them in the US, and they're the iconic 'worker' the repugs care about so much. Except when it comes to pensions or health care for black lung. A ton of those workers are vets.
JonLP24
(29,322 posts)Mc Mike
(9,115 posts)I've been seeing more, in the last 10 years. Not Obama and Shinseki's fault.
I know there are homeless people who aren't vets but are claiming it as a dodge, but if you talk to people even a little bit, you can see so many are telling the truth, without demanding their discharge papers or units or theaters of operation.
We had a hardcore hawkish power broker combat vet congressperson in my area, John Murtha. Very conservative for a Dem. As soon as he started condemning li'l chickenhawk bush's debacles that hurt active duty and vets, the right started calling him a traitor. Coulter calling him a traitor, where'd she serve? Connecticut 4th Reich Ladies' Auxiliary?
I was talking to one combat vet who was in Saigon for the Tet offensive, and he told me about seeing some looting during the offensive, a couple of old women stealing radios. The MPs came up and shot them dead. I asked him 'what happened to the radios?' He said 'Oh, they broke.'
He didn't do anything wrong, he just saw it. He wasn't haunted by what he did, he was haunted by what he had to see, what the right told him his service required him to be around.
JonLP24
(29,322 posts)I certainly ran into more than a few. It was common. They may get paid better holding a sign than an average person but I was always too scared to panhandle or do a telemarketing type job. A local telemarketing firm is anti-abortion pro Republican now they are pro Trump I hear so I definitely couldn't do that one.
I'm fine now that I have disability diagnosed so I'm no longer homeless.
Mc Mike
(9,115 posts)He was just so earnest in relaying the experience, said 'a real marine isn't going to let an army guy like me chase him off'. He was shed from the military by poppy bush's 'peace dividend' shrinkage of the military, and the discharge happened to him under Clinton. He thought Clinton did it, that was his experience.
Even Johnson and Truman's post war programs didn't help out all the people who served and need and deserve aid. My pitch to the former IVAW and Mission Continues was help vets, who want to keep serving and help the Americans they served for. Link up with other groups in cooperative efforts, like Helmets to Hardhats and Habitat for Humanity. Combat vets need to make a living, how about if they go fix up the house of one of their fallen colleague's mom, she doesn't have anyone around to help her, now.
We're fighting against the requisite scarcity of resources and support that need to be maintained if huge corporations are to maintain and increase their profit margins.
What pisses me off is that a successful strategy for panhandling dictates that the sign be really pitiful, second rate, a torn piece of cardboard. They have to show 'tip your cap' squalor, if they're to be successful. Take the subservient position. That sure as hell isn't how things were pitched to them, when they were recruited.
A vet shouldn't have to take a job where they have to sell their soul for peanuts, backing that bonebespurred draftdodging warmonger half a tough guy candy ass.
LexVegas
(6,094 posts)HAB911
(8,912 posts)We all need to be aware of the nutcases out there, the wannabe cops, the vigilantes that take parking space assignment to the extreme.
I'm a vet and fucking cringe when someone thanks me for my service. 9 out of 10 sat at home and never put on a uniform so as far as I'm concerned, they are crocodile thanks.
Mariana
(14,860 posts)when they say "Thank you for your service". I'm sure you've noticed that. They get angry if you don't act grateful enough to suit them.
HAB911
(8,912 posts)Captain Stern
(2,201 posts)wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)DeminPennswoods
(15,290 posts)who worked at a local VA who described the groups of vets encountered there for serives. This person said the WWII vets were the best, never wanted anything for themselves, usually said someone else needed whatever it was more; The VN vets were generally angry about everything; the Iraq/Afghanistan vets felt entitled to every service and then some.
Having worked for and around the military as a civilian in DoD, they are just like any other big group of people. There are all kinds who run the gamut from smart to dumb, nice to nasty, courteous to disrespectful, thoughtful to blinkered and every other trait you can imagine.
IMHO, the military should be treated like any other professional group. For those relatively few who have been physically or emotionally damaged by their service, yes they should get what they need. But, vets already get hiring preference for federal civil service jobs and many private sector jobs, college tuition financial assistance, free burial at national cemetaries and other benefits non-vets do not get.
Again, jmho, but the hero worship that's heaped on the military and service members currently is not healthy for society. The best example is law enforcement where creeping militarization is changing the face of law enforcement from keepers of civil society to a combat mentality.
JonLP24
(29,322 posts)Usually they have a travel pay desk. Sometimes they have problem with travel pay fraud that comes from all ages of all vets. I go to a clinic that doesn't give travel pay so the point is moot. I get free prescriptions. The VA does offer a lot of services. When I first got out I didn't know I could go to the VA so for the first 4-5 years after I got out I didn't even go to the VA. I'm a Iraq/Afghanistan vet and now I feel I don't deserve the services I do get rather than entitled to them.
Older vets seem to use the VA much more than younger ones. They play Bewitched & similar shows at my local VA.
DeminPennswoods
(15,290 posts)someone who works for the VA and sees the vets who come in for treatment. It didn't mean Iraq/Afghanistan vets came in demanding free stuff, just that the mindset was to make sure they got every benefit to which they were entitled.
JonLP24
(29,322 posts)that would require me to say no thanks someone else needs that more than me. Prescriptions? I can't give my slot to my appointments to someone that needs a doctor more than me. Older vets have the same benefits I do. The only thing I can think of is travel pay and most of the time I didn't collect travel pay and when I did I went by the mile to my real address so no travel pay fraud from me. I'm just not sure what a VA is for based on the person that works there. Is it supposed to be a building that sits there empty and if they offer a benefit soldiers are not supposed to take it?
LuckyCharms
(17,457 posts)The store made a decision to reserve a few parking spaces for veterans. The store signaled their intent to the public by putting up a few signs at those parking spots "Parking for veterans only".
If I saw that sign, I simply would have found another parking spot. I would not have chosen that particular battle to fight.
Simple. no biggie. No excuses. Park somewhere else. Sure, it's not illegal to park there, but why would you? To save a few steps? To prevent another human being (Veteran) from feeling special for 5 seconds?
No one was having a medical emergency. He had simply forgotten his wallet. I would have parked in the nearest regular parking spot and brought him the wallet.
The man was most likely wrong in confronting you over the spot, but you were wrong (even though you were not breaking the law) in parking there.
My grocery store reserves spots for all sorts of people: expectant mothers, short stay pharmacy pick-ups, employees of the month, etc. I stay out of those spaces too.
Why stir the shit when you don't have to?
KatyMan
(4,209 posts)Like with your kids, pick your battles. Not worth getting upset or causing a ruckus over stupid shit.
Although I agree this military worship thing is out of hand, but I wouldn't park in a vet spot, or a parents with children spot, pregnant mother spot, etc. We're empty nesters of a certain age and probably could stand the extra walk from the parking lot!
KatyMan
(4,209 posts)Nurses and teachers. But they tend to be women, so I guess it'll never happen.
sarisataka
(18,770 posts)But if I go to a place that offers a free meal and I get good service, I usually give the price of the meal as my portion of the trip. If service was adequate I will still do 20%, cutting the server some slack that maybe they are having an off day. Poor service is recognized by the lack of recognition.
Most vets I know tip fairly well and I do not know of any who demand anything for free.
As for your parking stalker, I think you need to speak with your husband. I would never stand by if someone was mad dogging my wife.
Ms. Toad
(34,087 posts)Positions that are traditionally tipped can be paid as low as $2.13/hour by their employer. If you don't leave a tip, you are saying - by your actions - that it is perfectly fine for an employed person to be paid less than $7.25/hour.
It stinks that companies are permitted to pay less than minimum wage, based on the expectation that customers will make it up - but that is the reality. If you don't like it, eat someplace that is required to pay service workers at least minimum wage. Pretty sure that includes all fast-food establishments.
sarisataka
(18,770 posts)The tip will be reduced or non existent. Usually however I tip very generously and am forgiving of small mistakes.
An example of poor service- we ate a few years ago at a national chain popular for its breakfast menu. When my order arrived I salted and peppered the hashbrowns and was about to eat a piece when I noticed egg yolks under the hashbrowns. My meal did not include eggs. Moving items on the plate revealed old food that had not been cleaned off.
The server took the plate back, promising to bring a new meal. Moments later she delivered a plate that had "just been prepared". Strangely the hashbrowns were already salted and peppered. They even cut a small piece off the end. IOW they just transferred the same food from a dirty plate to a clean one an thought I would not notice.
I left after speaking with the manager and the was no tip that day. It is not my duty to make up a pay shortage if the person does not meet the minimum requirements of their job.
Conversely excellent service may see a 50% tip.
Ms. Toad
(34,087 posts)out of the pay to which she would be entitled at any other job.
You are aware, though, that the server is not the person who plates your meal or cleans the plates, or prepares a new plate. So basically you stiffed this poor waitress for the sins of the kitchen staff (who, since they are not generally tipped) are already receiving at least minimum wage.
20% should be the absolute minimum - and you should go up from there. If you are dissatisfied with the service, by all means alert the manager. Poor workers do not necessarily deserve to retain their job - but while they are working they deserve at least minimum wage. Not to mention that the manage will know which party made the mistake and will not take it out on an innocent person, just because that person is handy.
Kaleva
(36,341 posts)Ms. Toad
(34,087 posts)Employers report tips on W-2 forms - either actual tips reported to them by their employees, or a presumptive amount.
As a former enrolled agent, I can count on less than one finger the number of employers whose W-2 forms reported anything other than the presumptive amount.
Partly that is becuase those earning more than minimum wage don't want to pay taxes on the excess - so they don't report thier tip income to their employers. That reporting mechanism is the same one that is used to top off the wages of employees who make less than minimum wage.
The system is broken - it encourages employees to not report their income (since most are living paycheck-to-paycheck anyway), and it gives employers cheap labor with little risk that they will be required to pay more than minimum wage. It creates a de facto obligation for any progressive/social justice minded person to tip. It leaves many even more impoverished than they would otherwise be at retirment - becasue your social security income is based on your wage income (which is artificially low if all of your tip income was not reported).
We need to scrap it and go to a living wage for all system, with slightly higher prices on the menu.
My hope is that tips would altogether disappear - but even if they don't, there is not impoverishing impact for not tipping for poor service that exists now.
Kaleva
(36,341 posts)And i imagine that even if they were paid a living wage, they'd still not report their tips. I'd have to look but i do think some restaurants eliminated tips and raised their prices and wages of their employees but abandoned it after a while because the employees wanted lower reported wages which they paid less tax on and the tax free tips.
"In recent years, there's been a no-tipping movement within the restaurant industry.
The idea has been to rectify a basic pay unfairness to even out the pay between tipped and untipped employees. Dishwashers and cooks at the back of the house don't earn as much money as waiters because they don't get tips.
So, do away with tipping, raise menu prices a little bit, and pay everyone a higher wage.
But that experiment has failed at some restaurants. Joe's Crab Shack, the first large U.S. chain to implement a no-tip model, announced this month that it is moving away from the experiment, which only lasted three months....
On what made him decide to switch back to tipping
Attrition. We were losing staff, servers mostly. Kitchen was of course happy and turnover was nonexistent. And senior staff in the front of the house were happy. We were continuing to hire young, new people, train them, and then they'd get the set of skills necessary, and they would generally give notice and move to other restaurants in our community who were still on a traditional tip economy."
https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2016/05/15/478096516/why-restaurants-are-ditching-the-switch-to-no-tipping
Kaleva
(36,341 posts)The profits Home Depot makes off of your purchases subsidizes the 10% discounts it gives to vets.
Being a vet and a Home Depot shopper, I thank you for your support. You've helped save me me lots of money doing projects around the house.
LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)But then again, I also used to pretend no good reason reason ever to open the door in my own house if a weapon were present.
I s'pose our biases require these wee rationalizations to thrive and survive.
Kaleva
(36,341 posts)MineralMan
(146,329 posts)Where is that restaurant where veterans get free entrees? I'll head right out this evening to it.
You'd never know I was a military veteran. I don't make anything of that. I don't park in spaces that are designated for veterans, either. There are veterans who have invisible disabilities, and they need spots like that, so I don't take those spaces. Veterans like my 95-year-old father, who flew B-17s in WWII. He does park in spaces like that, because walking is very difficult for him. If such a space isn't available, he'll use a handicapped space, since he has a placard for that, too, but he prefers to leave those spaces for others, since he can still walk.
I'm sorry your daughter has met veterans who she doesn't like. I doubt if 9 out of 10, though, behave that way. I doubt she knows who is and who is not a veteran in the first place.
I'm sorry, but parking in designated spaces is the height of using a privilege you haven't earned. The space is for people who did earn that privilege and is being thanked by whatever business designated that space. You can walk, I have no doubt. Park elsewhere from now on. That's my suggestion to you.
Croney
(4,670 posts)No, it doesn't bother me, because nobody is going to take my assigned seat. When they make that announcement, I like to think it makes some young guys feel loved when they are far from home. But it also reminds me that we are always at war.
My mother (96) was in the Navy. My stepdad wears his Retired Army cap all day, and loves his discounts at Home Depot and everywhere else. But he'll take the tire off his pick-up and hand it to you if you need it.
OP, it sounds like you hate the military. Better to just hate the way the world is so fucked up right now.
MineralMan
(146,329 posts)I do take advantage of that. I get on the plane sit down and stay put, with my carry-on stuffed under the seat. Normally, I book an exit row seat, and they board those folks early, too. At least I'm not blocking the aisle trying to stuff an oversized carry-on in the overhead. I'm already sitting down with my seat belt fastened and looking out the window.
I can't think of any other time I use my veteran status for anything at all. Oh, wait...I go to the Minnesota state fair on "Veteran Appreciation Day" to get my reduced price ticket. But, I don't have any ball caps that say I'm a veteran or any other such stuff, and don't react to calls for veterans to stand up and be recognized. I served one enlistment in the USAF, where I did some final adulting training. I was never in harm's way.
SlogginThroughIt
(1,977 posts)I get it. And it is nice to be thanked. But sometimes I want to be like look if you knew how many just awful people are in the military I doubt you would be so ready to fawn over them.
In my time in i had never met so many dirtbag douche nozzles in my life. Granted I met some life ling friends too but man there were a ton of dirtbags.
DashOneBravo
(2,679 posts)Trash thread
mercuryblues
(14,537 posts)could easily park in 1 of those spaces, She's active duty. She doesn't. Reason one being she is well aware that Vets are older than her and don't qualify for a disabled parking spot. She's young and healthy, so she walks the 10 extra steps to the front door.
Yes some people in the military do not tip well. I lived near a training base where I bartended & waited tables while also going through school. You know who those customers were? Those going through basic training, at the bottom on the pay scale. Never once did someone ever ask me for anything free. They always said please and thank-you. I figured they were going through some intense training, for meager pay let them enjoy the few free hours of off-time they were granted. They were willing to give me the best they could offer, the least I could do was treat them the same as I would any other customer. I have also had some tip me extremely well. I've had "regulars" tip me low the 1st time they came in, but as their paychecks started coming in over tipped to make up for the times they couldn't afford to tip well.
Maybe your daughter just sucks at waiting tables. I have had bad waiters before, therefore all waiters are bad.
cynatnite
(31,011 posts)First off, the vet was an asshole. Second off, you were too by taking that spot.
Thirdly, stop denigrating the military and vets with your anecdotal evidence.
TheRealNorth
(9,500 posts)9-11 was the beginning of all this shit. It's bad because everyone is afraid to hold the military accountable because they don't want to be labelled as anti-Military.