My liberal neighborhood was horrified when a gay-bashing ranter moved in. Here's what happened

[Demovictory9]

His mother bought the house next to ours to flip and moved her 33-year-old son in during the renovation. The next afternoon, as he scrutinized his front yard, I walked over to welcome him to the neighborhood. He was wearing a profanity-laced T-shirt bearing the message that a woman’s place was in the kitchen. I thought he would explain that it was a joke. He didn’t.

Over the front porch railing he soon hung an assortment of hostile T-shirts printed with anti-feminism, anti-Islam, anti-gay and pro-1st Amendment sayings.

My new neighbor spent his days digging up the lawn, and then pushing wildflower seeds into the ground in random spots around the property. He watered it all four times a day. As he soaked the dirt, he would yell at anyone walking by, calling them “progressive scum” or “socialists.” If he got no response, he would chant and sing, “Lock her up” or “Build the wall”— for 30 minutes.

Our delightfully diverse, liberal-leaning, bake-sale-for-charity Hollywood neighborhood was horrified, me included. We had to put up with his rants, off and on, all day as he watered his “landscape.” If any neighbor suggested he tone it down, he would shout, “I have freedom of speech! You should support the Bill of Rights.”


Then one day he needed my partner and me. He was locked out of his house and had no cellphone.

No one in the neighborhood would open their door to him except us. My partner let him use her cellphone. He called his mom to rescue him.

He handed back the phone. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

She replied, “Oh. Human being.”

Moments later, as he went down our front steps, he said, “Islam hates people like you and your girlfriend, so you should hate them too.”

https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2019-10-06/hollywood-neighbor-hate-t-shirts

[DeminPennswoods]

1. No wonder his mother moved him out

- and made him someone else's problem.

[Demovictory9]

12. spent his days planting seeds and watering 4 times a day... must be unemployed, living off mama

and hating the world

[DeminPennswoods]

50. Not unemployed, but unemployable

is my guess. Really seems like he's got some mental health issues.

[dhill926]

2. He had his chance...

fuck 'im...

[cwydro]

3. Obviously the author didn't feel that way.

Responding with hate to him would only reinforce his opinion of the world.

Good for her for taking the high road.

[dhill926]

7. Well, fwiw...

my response was predicated on the fact that someone had showed him kindness, and he responded with more hate.

[cwydro]

11. Yes, but he refrained from calling her names, from telling her he hated gay people.

He couldn’t do it to her face.

Hey, that’s something.

She sounds like a good person, and I have no doubt she lives her life that way; no person filled with hatred will change who she is.

[Demovictory9]

9. author was very generous. After his hate Tshirts were stolen, she walked the neighbor and brought

them back.

[Hortensis]

4. :) I miss Hollywood. There was incredible diversity,

but with the generally open, liberal culture, residents tended to be nice.

That guy sounds like a dysfunctional nut, of course. What Trump would be without a wealthy father. His poor mother.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

5. What a generous heart the author has.

[sandensea]

6. Ah, memories of Orange County

Most of the Republicans were ok - but the ones with wealthy parents were the worst.

They felt entitled to disrespect and, in one case, even actively harass anyone they knew to be a Democrat or Green Party supporter (of which there are many in the O.C.).

This was before the Bush collapse. Republicans have since become something of a minority there, so I gather - but they're still a lot of them anywhere south of the 55 (the unofficial dividing line between "white O.C." and "L.A. south" ).

[Demovictory9]

8. OC resident here... it's Blue OC now.

[sandensea]

10. Hey, hey!

Wish I were back there. You never know...

[Ahpook]

13. I wince when new neighbors move in

You never know! One person can screw up a otherwise wonderfully symbiotic relationship.

We had it recently, though he has toned it down, thankfully. He came in saying if he saw cats or dogs on his lawn they will be shot. He did kill one cat that ended up on my property with a bullet hole in its rear and exiting through its neck. You can't shoot in this neighborhood!

After a few complaints and visits from other neighbors and police he is pretty well silent now.

For now!

[Initech]

14. I am getting new neighbors of the Talibornagain variety.

I really need to move to a more progressive area!

[Ahpook]

18. Sorry to hear :(

The previous owners of the home were college professors. Lovely people that would do anything for neighbors.

On edit: I expect him to move out someday. I know he sits over there bitching about any number of things related to his... neighbors.

[Downtown Hound]

20. And the police didn't arrest him?

It's illegal to shoot an animal for just being on your yard where I live. Only if your life is in danger, and anybody would be hard pressed to prove that their life was in danger from a cat.

If that was my cat, I'd be going to war with that neighbor.

[Ahpook]

21. No they did not

I don't know what they said but he has stopped it.

[Downtown Hound]

22. That wouldn't fly where I live.

I would go the hell and back to make sure that guy got prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

[Ahpook]

24. Animal control came out

To remove the carcass. She showed me the bullet holes.

I wasn't sure how to prove that redneck did it?! Watching that little guy gasping for air still haunts me.

[Downtown Hound]

25. Did the bullet go through?

Only way to really prove it would be to match the bullet to the gun that fired it.

[Ahpook]

27. Yes

In its rear end and out its neck.

I have a small office in the backyard near the fence line. I heard the fence rattle and my dog alerted as well. Went outside and there he was, laying on its side gasping.

I did not hear a shot of any kind. It looked like the size of a .22 caliber.

[Downtown Hound]

31. If that ever happens again, do everything you can to find the bullet

It's around there somewhere. And, even though a .22 is a small round, it's still quite loud, loud enough to where you can hear it from a good distance away. So if you didn't hear it, then he probably used some kind of silencer. Which is illegal, and would get him in even more trouble if he got caught.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

41. Poor sweet cat. Bast,Sekhmet protect him

In the afterlife.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

38. I despise cat killers,cat abusers.

He should be executed,but jail for the rest of his life sounds good too
Fuck him forever.

[lunasun]

15. Hah I like when they hate you but since they have to deal with you (work,favor,sale) they spend

their unrequested time instead telling you how some other group of people they hate really hate you !

[Downtown Hound]

16. You know, to each their own, and I'm not going to dictate to anybody how to live their life

But I personally think that kindness is wasted on people like that, and actually counterproductive. I know we all like to believe that we can change people through kindness, and yeah, maybe you can change a few of them, but most of them you can't. And being nice to them just rewards them for bad behavior.

There's probably billions of people on this planet that are more deserving of compassion that that fool. Save it for them.

[lunatica]

23. Plus they think kindness is weakness

It’s something I’ve experienced a lot. If you are a kind person a lot of people think you’re weak, a coward and a patsy. All of them found out the hard way that I could beat them at being mean, and get this, it was always because I speak the truth in an argument or a fight. That’s my weapon. It’s amazing how scary facts are to many people.

I’m not afraid of confrontation, but I prefer harmony so I choose to be nice. The key word is ‘choose’.

[VOX]

30. And they only think in first-person-singular: "MY taxes. MY country. MY benefits. ME, ME, ME!"

Last edited Sun Oct 6, 2019, 11:53 PM - Edit history (1)

There’s never an “our” in their minds. Or a “greater good,” like public health, healthcare, etc.

It’s ALL “I don’t want illegals in MY town, using MY taxes, getting MY benefits, not speaking MY language, not loving MY president, while I work MY (unskilled-labor) job. They disrespect MY flag and MY country....”

Nuance, practicality and empathy are completely lost on them.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

39. Narcissism sucks.

[Newest Reality]

26. I can see what you mean...

However, if kindness is extended to some one in order to try to change them, that should not be the point, really.

The idea of actually being compassionate is about being able to extend it equally and without bias. This is more of an internal thing. If you do it that way, then the negative behaviors of others are less likely to affect you in a negative way as far as your mental emotional state is concerned; that's the benefit of it.

Compassion may be easier to have for people close to us that we care about and love, and a bit more difficult for people we may have lack of concern or apathy for in the first place, but it really can be a challenge to have it for people we may hate or disapprove of.

Now, compassion does not mean one should not discern carefully about the how and why and circumstances, (you practice compassion for yourself) but, regardless of external actions one decides to take, it is the internal calm, ease and the lessening of fear that is the benefit, as well as any kindness or positive action you perform as an example.

Lastly, it is very possible for kind behaviors to rude or intolerant people to have some effect, simply because it can stand out and be unexpected--a seed, if you will. If the behavior by the OP were repeated by others, it would also be beneficial in this respect. It is not hard to be more curious rather than judgemental of certain types of behavior, which might bring greater insight into the background of that person, or if a stranger, an idea of the potential causes for it. Often, there are, as we know.

You could call it a view that is about practicing and living the very thing that one would expect, in one way or another, from the kind of people who behave without compassion: kindness and consideration for others. This also prevents the potential to become like that in the sense that it stirs or reinforces strong emotions in one's self or to find that you are projecting your own. It's a psychological insulation and immunization and its rather ancient, actually.

I know that sounds difficult, but it is a practice and a discipline and I have seen good people become what they hate the most over time primarily because they focused too much on the other person's behaviors or apathy and anchored themselves in it.

[StarryNite]

35. But why should she have changed who she is?

She must be a very kind and tolerant person to have responded to him the way she did. That obviously is who she is. To have turned that off because of his behavior would have meant he was able to change her. Nope, she didn't let that happen. If there was any "winning" in this, she was the clear winner. Kudos to her for staying true to herself.

[Downtown Hound]

49. I never said she should change who she is

I said I'm not going to tell anybody how to live their life. But if you can point to me any example from history where bigotry and racism ended on a mass scale because people were nice to bigots, I'm all ears. I'm of the opinion that it only ends when it's brought to it's knees and forced to change by making it so uncomfortable that it becomes not worth it. Germany ditched Nazisim when their country was deafeated and bombed to rubble. The South gave up slavery when their plantations were burned to the ground. African Americans got civil rights in the 60's not because MLK had a dream, but because cities were burning.

It's not about her changing who she is. It's about questioning whether or not being that person is really helping or hurting. Just my two cents. That guy seemed very upset that the neighborhood hated him. I think that's ultimately what makes people change, when they get tired of being hated. Not because someone helped them get their racist schwag back.

[keithbvadu2]

17. 33-year-old son - no mention of girlfriend or spouse. Is he just bitter?

33-year-old son - no mention of girlfriend or spouse.

Is he just bitter?

[AZ8theist]

32. That's what I was thinking....Incel??

Incel, asshole...asshole, Incel....same jerk.

[PatrickforO]

44. I think anyone might have trouble feeling attraction for this guy with

his shouting and obnoxious behavior. If he's like that, he's probably never gotten laid.

[IronLionZion]

47. Those damn feminists/socialists/LGBTQ/muslims are preventing him from having a girlfriend

or spouse. He's the victim here.

[dalton99a]

19. The world won't miss him when he gets run over by a truck.

[Duppers]

36. +1

[TheBlackAdder]

28. Two words: Infrasonic Subwoofer

.

Play sounds below 10Hz and people get an uneasy feeling, and the right cycle value will cause people to have nausea.

After a few weeks, they'll move.

https://www.instructables.com/id/Build-an-Infrasonic-Subwoofer/


I'm not seriously saying to build one, just as a gag post.

.

[defacto7]

46. Make 2, one at 9Hz and one at 8Hz in a square wave.

They won't leave, they'll go mad. Of course you may also. Fun gag with electronics!

[AllaN01Bear]

29. i live in an apartment complex . quite a few years ago a tenant put up a john kerry sign

in their upstairs window .one of the tennants went to the manager to complain and make the other tennant take the john kerry sign down. the manager said no. good for her. as for this guy, hem. good random act of kindness by that author of the peice .

[bucolic_frolic]

33. All he does is tell everybody what to do

Control freak with boundary issues. I never would have helped him.

[The Liberal Lion]

34. I admire their recognition of his humanity and their respect for it despite the overwhelming barrier

for doing so. In his odd way by telling them "Islam hates people like you..." he was apologizing. There is hope for this young man yet.

[YOHABLO]

37. Hmm, does he own any guns?

[ooky]

40. Even the worst Trump humpers I've been around don't act like him.

His problem appears to go well beyond right wing extremism.

[yaesu]

42. such people are brain dead, lost forever, a fox news lobotomy and so must be completely ostracised.

[PatrickforO]

43. Poignant story.

The happy idea that you and your partner planted a good seed in the swamp that doubles as this guy's mind seems an apt metaphore here.

[shadowmayor]

45. Why did you help me?

Because we're not assholes like SOME people dude!

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

48. Personally, I think guys like that need to get the full

experience of doing unto others.

He needs to have done unto him.

[littlemissmartypants]

51. Those who are the hardest to love, are the ones that need it the most.

The LA Times rarely disappoints. Thanks for sharing this, Demovictory9.