U.S. Claims Drone Was Minding Own Business On Its Way To Church When Iran Attacked It Out Of Nowhere

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

WASHINGTON—Maintaining that the unmanned aerial vehicle was simply going about its day without posing a threat to anyone, U.S. Department of State officials claimed Thursday that one of their drones was minding its own business on its way to church when Iran attacked it out of nowhere. “This was an outrageous, unprovoked attack by the Islamic Republic of Iran on an innocent drone who merely wanted to attend mass in peace,” said acting Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, emphasizing the drone’s upstanding moral character by pointing out its history of donating to charity, volunteering at soup kitchens, and making homemade cookies for school bake sales. “We’re talking about a drone that sings in the church choir and coaches little league baseball games on the weekends—an absolute pillar of the community. This is an upstanding family drone who did nothing to deserve any sort of attack. What kind of world do we live in where an innocent drone can’t fly through Iranian air space on its way to church?” At press time, Department of Defense officials confirmed that their request for Iran to return the drone’s body back to the U.S. for a proper burial had gone unanswered.

https://politics.theonion.com/u-s-claims-drone-was-minding-own-business-on-its-way-t-1835695562

[riversedge]

1. up up and awayyyy

[underpants]

2. 😆

👍

[NBachers]

3. So, uh, how would Iranian drones fare off the coast of the USA?

[Volaris]

5. Exactly lol ..

If Iranian tourists had deployed a store-bought drone and a selfie stick in DC to take pictures of monuments, John Bolton would be advocating for deploying a full Air Carrier Group to the Persian Gulf, and looking for a way to drag another one overland to park in the damned Caspian Sea.

Maybe, if we don't want our shit shot down, we shouldn't fly it over places populated with people who are willing to kill it.

Related, but much more serious ....wer'e going to have to seriously rethink what it means to run the world, if we want to keep doing so into the next century.

[EarnestPutz]

7. "Rethink what it means to run the world" Exactly the problem. We haven't ever really....

...thought about it, except in the most jingoistic terms, let alone "rethink" what it means to be the sole superpower.

[Volaris]

9. Our government (and I use that term very very loosely in this context) thought incorrectly

That 'running the world' as the lone superpower meant the following 3 things :

That American Capitalist Hegemony was the answer to a post Soviet Russia (and that a nation accustomed to 70 years of rigid socialism would respond WELL to what Wall Street wanted.... hahahahahahaha).

That the disaster capitalism wall street sought to impose, on the former Soviet Union could be controlled (again...hahahahahahahaha)

That the response of the Russian People TO that 'americanist' viewpoint , would lead to a 'friendly' government in Moscow.

That we were WRONG is why Putin runs that govt as basically a mob boss who pays himself 'protection money' out of the National Treasury in return for thumbing his nose at the West.

He gets to blame American capitalism, sell off the nation's resources to the mob, and cut himself in for a %age..

Donald Trump eat your fucking heart out.. .

[KY_EnviroGuy]

11. K&R. And, in a slightly different time they thought....

Iraq and Afghanistan would celebrate our unsolicited military invasions with women and children dancing in the streets and...

both would next lay flowers on the pavement to welcome the limos of Wall Street barons arriving to capture control of their ore and petroleum resources.

What the hell is wrong with those natives, anyway?.... .....

[procon]

4. That's actually quite brilliant. nt

[Duppers]

6. ...

😂

[KY_EnviroGuy]

8. Along that same line of thinking, defense officials expect Pompeo to call for...

registration, 30-day waiting period and thorough background check required for owning surface-to-air missiles.

Further, in clear defiance of North Korea, some say he will propose a ban on open-carry of all missiles and bombs...

Pompeo shared off the record with Russian reporters that at home, he uses trigger locks on his personal defense weapons over 1-megaton.......

[Volaris]

10. But any incel with a small penis can get an ar15 with just no questions asked still...

Because 'Merica, mutherfuckrez..