General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy friend is still upset from the last election debate where HRC let Trump stalk her from
behind as she was speaking. "She shudda turned around and said "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? SIT DOWN!"
He's replaying all this stuff in his mind (a good Dem, he was a shop steward for his plumbers' union). I said I don't think ANY female Dem candidate would allow that now!
malaise
(269,208 posts)I mentioned it on the debate thread
Bettie
(16,130 posts)that crap down.
dameatball
(7,400 posts)octoberlib
(14,971 posts)stalk her.
demmiblue
(36,899 posts)treestar
(82,383 posts)and follow the rules.
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)Imo, all this noise over that is overreaction. In other words, silly.
As for those grabbing this chance as always to blame Hillary, or just as bad to cast her as a passive victim, as if she didn't do superbly on that stage, imo silly is too nice a word.
obamanut2012
(26,154 posts)It is not "overreaction" -- what you are saying is UNDERREACTION.
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)Plus Facebook and Twitter. His decency and good sense are still with us.
https://twitter.com/BarackObama?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor
trueblue2007
(17,240 posts)get away from me !
If he got weird .... rude or violent, should have slapped him across the face.
GoCubsGo
(32,095 posts)He would have loved it if he had provoked that kind of reaction from her. Better that she blew him off and ignored him. He hates being ignored. I would prefer that she just glanced back, rolled her eyes, and shook her head in disgust, while continuing on with her point.
wryter2000
(46,083 posts)That smile and shimmy thing she did when he said something particularly stupid.
sop
(10,274 posts)and Kathy Shelton in the front rows at the presidential debate. He wanted to bring Jennifer Flowers, but she backed out. Trump is a total sleazeball.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)Same for the disgusting chair-humping. I could jump through plate glass doors when I think of that. And the cartoonish badass squinting. And the stalking. Grrrr
Talitha
(6,622 posts)And where'd he get that suit, at a tent shop?
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)Talitha
(6,622 posts)Demit
(11,238 posts)She made a decision in the moment to ignore him. It wasn't a bad decisionhe wanted the attention. She deprived him of a reaction.
I love how people know what they wudda done, lol.
EffieBlack
(14,249 posts)greatauntoftriplets
(175,753 posts)And I loved the way that Hillary ignored him like a pesky mosquito.
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)Bettie
(16,130 posts)I think the moderator should have stopped his antics cold.
loyalsister
(13,390 posts)And most of us would not know how to respond to something so incomprehensible. I'm sure the situation was far outside of anything she was prepared for.
To fault her for not responding seems like victim blaming.
Demit
(11,238 posts)gordianot
(15,246 posts)But that is hindsight. I seem to remember stories about Bill with a suspicious bruise.
Response to CTyankee (Original post)
Chin music This message was self-deleted by its author.
octoberlib
(14,971 posts)the crap out of him.
marylandblue
(12,344 posts)No, I don't think any female candidate will let it go this time. Nor would they let go of that "nasty woman" comment.
Especially not Warren, who I can see shifting into a feminist rant that drives the audience wild.
irisblue
(33,036 posts)Would you clarify that please?
marylandblue
(12,344 posts)I saw her get angry about abortion rights. It was glorious.
fallrey
(36 posts)There is no good response to a potentially threatening male being given access to a female politician when she is speaking publicly. The two situations (Harris, Clinton) were very different, but what upset me and angered me so much is that nothing either did would erase the visual of an out of order and potentially threatening male demonstrating attempted dominance. Fantasies aside, there is no win in either case. Both should have been prevented by the organizers of the events.
marylandblue
(12,344 posts)It's admittedly difficult. I think there needs to be perfect balance between indignation and calm.
Even the most patriarchical societies have occasionally produced powerful women. Queen Elizabeth I is the best known example, but she's not alone. They must have had extraordinary talents to keep men off balance.
If anyone today can do it, Warren can.
mercuryblues
(14,547 posts)the imaginary, narrow line during a campaign and stick to it, so as not to offend anyone. Men get to stalk women on stage, call for chants of lock her up, called them nasty woman, insult their appearance, and more.
marylandblue
(12,344 posts)I think Warren may have found it.
"I'm running for President because that's what girls, do."
I think that's a brilliant line.
McConnell said, "Yet, she persisted."
She made him trip over his own privilege.
I don't know what she would do in Hillary's situation and I don't know if it will work. But I'm guessing she has a plan for that.
Tipperary
(6,930 posts)Interesting question as to whether a woman can respond effectively.
Did you mean that to sound like it does???
marylandblue
(12,344 posts)But in politics, women are always too tough or too weak, too warm or too cold, and so on. Too ambitious or not ambitious enough. Too thinking or too feeling. It happened to Hillary. Lots of women have commented on this problem in their own lives.
I think a handful of women in politics find a balance point that work for them and use it to gain and keep power. Like Nancy Pelosi. Not that she doesn't get criticized for this or that, but she does pretty well overall. It isn't easy, so I have to admire that.
I think Warren may have found the right mix for herself. They are trying to do it to her right now, but so far, they have not succeeded.
Caliman73
(11,744 posts)The reality is that had Hillary Clinton turned around and "shifted into a feminist rant" as you say Warren would do, then it would have been treated in the press as Clinton becoming "emotional" and "loosing control"
That is the nature of Male Privilege and patriarchy. Whatever Clinton chose to do she would have received criticism. Women not standing up for themselves proves they are weak. Women standing up for themselves proves they are crazy and aggressive.
StarfishSaver
(18,486 posts)marylandblue
(12,344 posts)But I think a handful of women get around it, in spite of it all. Warren seems to me to be one of those women. But what do I know? She sounds good to me. That's all I can really say.
Caliman73
(11,744 posts)Us men have not done well in many areas and continue making the same mistakes despite ever more dire consequences. I think that the way we get out of this is to accept the very different view points of truly progressive and left leaning women.
lunatica
(53,410 posts)As a woman Who is the same age as Hillary I can tell you that we learned decades ago not to show fear. She was ignoring him very deliberately. To acknowledge that she was in any way nervous would make him win. It is also political suicide to look weak or to appear to cower. Any politician, man or woman, would come across as being a coward. It was a choice she made, knowing that if she reacted to him she would come out the loser. And he would have used it to verbally attack her even more.
I get it and would have done the same thing.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)have TOLD him in no uncertain terms that he had to go SIT DOWN!
lunatica
(53,410 posts)Any woman, all women would second guess themselves. Men probably would too. It was a very strange thing that he did, and awkward and baffling. I know it confused everyone that watched it.
irisblue
(33,036 posts)Scarsdale
(9,426 posts)thing to President Obama. He kept wandering back and forth in camera range while the President was speaking. He looked like an idiot.
EleanorR
(2,395 posts)I don't.
I agree that it was a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation for her.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)have had to step in at that point.
EleanorR
(2,395 posts)And needing the moderator to step in and save her.
The story here should be, trump reduced to distraction and intimidation tactics because he can't debate the issues intelligently.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)"I see from your behavior, Mr. Trump, that you can't debate the issues here tonight, you prefer to wander around behind me on the stage. That's too bad. Most folks here came to hear what you had to say and you are disappointing them."
EleanorR
(2,395 posts)She did the right thing ignoring him.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)cwydro
(51,308 posts)Please.
treestar
(82,383 posts)He didn't have to make any such choice. Or, he made only the choice to do something stupid/wrong. Instead of judging him for that, we have those judging her for how she handled it!
Metatron
(1,258 posts)marylandblue
(12,344 posts)I'm admiring Warren and a talent she seems to have. At least she seems that way to me. She's already done difficult things. I think she is being underestimated and she is really full of surprises. If I'm right, it will be fun to watch, at least for me. YMMV.
treestar
(82,383 posts)Hillary's choice was to ignore him, and it was a good choice and it there are a few here judging Hillary's handling of it more than they are judging Orange Donny for creating that need to make the choice.
marylandblue
(12,344 posts)Warren is my second choice, and I really think she could win. I have confidence in her abilities. She's already come back from being written off, which I thought was impossible. I'd hate for misogyny to take down another strong woman.
demmiblue
(36,899 posts)I thought that she handled the situation well.
And I also would have cheered if she had confronted him.
EffieBlack
(14,249 posts)As usual, the discussion is about how she handled being harassed and stalked, not the fact that that man harassed and stalked her.
Why is the OPs friend blaming HRC for Dotard's boorish behavior.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)He's never had a harsh word for her. I think he realizes this is "monday morning quarterbacking."
Zambero
(8,974 posts)shrugging and motioning in dismissive fashion, and resuming her debate point. Sometimes a bit of effective body language carries the day. I hate to admit this, but during that 2000 debate when Al Gore ventured in close to Bush while staring at him directly, Bush just gave him a quick jerking nod and went about his business. That split second made Gore look like a complete fool, and any merit of actual debate points became secondary. In a very close election, foolishness can become a fatal miscalculation.
EffieBlack
(14,249 posts)From the comfort of our Keyboard with three years hindsight
Zambero
(8,974 posts)We all love our comfy keyboards and the right to free speech, don't we? But final results tend to speak for themselves, as do the many circumstances that lead up to them. Different actions will contribute to different outcomes. In a real-time debate situation, there is no do-over, although many a candidate would have wished for just that. And as always, life and history are burgeoning with "what ifs".
EffieBlack
(14,249 posts)to back off?
And if she had done that and still didnt win the election, people would be saying if only she had kept her cool she wouldve won.
EffieBlack
(14,249 posts)her game, getting inside her head, etc. No matter what choice she made, it would have been the wrong one for some people.
This is the quandary that women and minorities consistently find ourselves in when having to deal with micro-aggressions like this. We have to make split-second decisions about how to address them while still doing whatever were trying to do in that moment, Knowing that no matter what we do, it will deemed wrong by someone.
Hillary Clinton had to make an instant calculation on how to respond to him - while continuing to give an intelligent answer to a tough question. She knew that no matter what she did, shed be attacked for it. If she confronted him, she faced criticism for being distracted, hostile, and overreacting, among other things. If she didnt, she be attacked for letting him get away with it. She chose to do the latter, and stay focused, not get distracted by the bully lurking behind her, and answer the question she was given
She had to choose between two not perfect solutions. She made her choice, a perfectly reasonable one. And true to form, nearly 3 years later, people who werent in her shoes are questioning it.
mcar
(42,390 posts)Film at 11.
Takket
(21,640 posts)Touchy.
Pushy.
Agitated.
Distracted.
Any other word to imply that she came unraveled in a tense situation
If she loses her shit because someone walks near her, how is she going to handle Putin?
So she refuses to take his bait and does her job instead, and she became weak, dominated, afraid.
When everyone is determined to find a way for you to lose, there is nothing you can do to win.
Hoyt
(54,770 posts)What's amazing is that so many women voted for the lying, misogynist, racist cad.
I get why ignorant white wing men went for that junk, but would have thought women would rebel against that behavior.
Zambero
(8,974 posts)White women actually favored Trump, a proven vile misogynist if there ever was one. I still find that to be incredulous, as much so as the horrific election result itself.
treestar
(82,383 posts)The Orange Bloviator did something wrong to someone. So the victim is said to have "let" him do that.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)ordered out of her space. He supported and voted for HRC and is a strong Dem.
pecosbob
(7,545 posts)tanyev
(42,634 posts)One of the books I read recently mentioned that he planned in advance to do that because he thought it would look dominating. I thought it made him look like a crazy loon who couldn't find his slippers. But I blame the debate moderator. HRC had a lot running through her mind just then and if Ignore it was her first instinct, I cant fault her for that.
LuvNewcastle
(16,860 posts)He was 'moving on her like a bitch.' He's a predator, and the debate moderator has a responsibility to keep the debate from becoming physical.
sop
(10,274 posts)smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)He looked frightening and dangerous. Any sane person should have seen that move as evidence of his unfitness for office. She was not responsible for his behavior in any way, shape or form.
TreasonousBastard
(43,049 posts)him, and looking back it may not have been the right one. I wanted to knee the TV in the groin.
But, that's history, and we are looking to next year. I agree-- can't imagine any of the women now running putting up with that. At the very least, practice debates would deal with it.
If it's true that she threw books at her staff, can you imagine what Klobuchar might do to him? Warren? Harris, the prosecutor who looked murderers in the eye?
We don't know if he would try that with any of the men, but imagine Mayor Pete slowly turning around and pointing to the other lectern.
Part of me hopes he does try it again with whoever gets the nod. I vaguely remember one time back in '16 when someone called him on his bullshit and he ran off the stage. He is, after all, a coward.
mnhtnbb
(31,408 posts)is to punch him in the face. She would have had to do it verbally, of course, but I'll wager ALL the women candidates will be prepared to slap him silly (verbally) if he tries it again.
It really bothered me at the time that the moderator didn't tell him to go back to his seat.
Me.
(35,454 posts)It was a no win situation for her.
InAbLuEsTaTe
(24,123 posts)Bernie & Elizabeth 2020!!!
Welcome to the revolution!!!
EffieBlack
(14,249 posts)treestar
(82,383 posts)without a word about what the Orange Toxin was doing wrong.
InAbLuEsTaTe
(24,123 posts)Bernie & Elizabeth 2020!!!
Welcome to the revolution!!!
StarfishSaver
(18,486 posts)Interesting.
ehrnst
(32,640 posts)from Cambridge Analytica, and WI, NC and Michigan would TOTALLY have lifted those voter suppression laws... if only she had just turned around and said that.
It's always her fault, isn't it?
redstatebluegirl
(12,265 posts)JHB
(37,163 posts)...the thing to do would have been a slyer putdown that knocked his cheap intimidation ploy right on its ass.
"Donald, if you're going to stand behind me huffing and puffing, could you at least do it closer? I think my jacket has a wrinkle that needs steaming out."
But she was the one there at the time and had to decide on the spot how to handle it. In the end, "shoulda"s are Monday morning quarterbacking. Useful for other people to consider how they might handle a similar situation, but what was done was done.
delisen
(6,046 posts)Last edited Sun Jun 16, 2019, 03:58 PM - Edit history (1)
SMC22307
(8,090 posts)Your plumbers' union friend should be more upset that Dirty Don stalked her and that the moderators let it go on.
Tipperary
(6,930 posts)And tell him his concern is noted.
Hav
(5,969 posts)this is annoying victim blaming and trying to be smart after the fact.
Norms and expectations still dictate our perceptions of how somebody should act. For similar reasons, it was said that Obama couldn't appear angry or that Biden couldn't be as hard on Palin.
To read these fantasies of how others would have pretended to act "tough" is just ridiculous and laughable.
"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? SIT DOWN!"
Seriously? Are we talking as grown ups here? Yeah, that would have surely helped her a lot.
I think people still like to blame Clinton for an amazing number of things. The premise of this idea, that she should have handled this differently, is silly at best, and I agree, that it is easily all you say.
Baltimike
(4,148 posts)He is blaming the victim, and it's quite frankly insulting. the onus should be on MF45 to quit being a creepy stalker, not on HRC to have eyes in the back of her head.
Paladin
(28,276 posts)That sort of rude, arrogant, stalking behavior should have been grounds for the immediate shut-down of that debate, coupled with trump being banned from all subsequent debates. If that evil motherfucker tries that sort of maneuver again, I hope to hell he pays for it, big-time.
StarfishSaver
(18,486 posts)CTyankee
(63,912 posts)Tipperary
(6,930 posts)I hope you set him straight. Smh.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)It's voting that counts, right?
StarfishSaver
(18,486 posts)If your friend is going around criticizing Hillary for making what he thinks was the "wrong" choice here, that can have an influence on how people view other women's approaches and, eventually, have an effect on how other women deal with these issues.
Voting for Hillary's not enough if he's helping to perpetuate the very attitude that helped to keep her from the White House.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)of our friends. Hubby refuses to talk about him, tho.
He and our friends are all BIG supporters of our women candidates.
StarfishSaver
(18,486 posts)I hope you will urge them also to be supportive of the difficult choices women candidates (and most other women) have to make and not be so critical of them when, thanks to the bias and misogyny that women still face, they must choose between a rock and a hard place.
CTyankee
(63,912 posts)This year the outrage against Trump is so strong, I don't think I'll have to remind anybody to do what they can to stop this mad man. But we are all of an age where mobility is an issue so not a lot of them can canvass neighborhoods and ring doorbells. Phone banking is better for us.
Don't worry, I would get on anybody's case who didn't fully appreciate women's struggle against misogyny...
StarfishSaver
(18,486 posts)cally
(21,597 posts)He did similar to Republican candidates by standing in front of their entrance path, looking big, and dominant. Anyone who interacts with him, has to not let his physical gestures take away their power. I dont think Clinton was bad or wrong, just next time we have to act physically dominant. Just like Macron with his handshakes with Trump. Candidates have to practice this and how to handle it.
I dont think its natural for most of us to act like such jerks but we have to this time.
Niagara
(7,683 posts)I'm still upset that the very next day he bragged about checking out Hillary's backside and saying he wasn't impressed to his third-rate deplorable cult.
He should never made it to any of the debates as his campaign should have ended by any and all the following:
1. insulting a POW (John McCain)
2. insulting a Gold Star family
3. insinuating that his opponent (HRC) should be shot by a 2nd amendment supporter
4. mocking a disabled journalist
I'm sure there's more that could be added to my small but significant list. The surreal insanity of his actions should be automatic disqualifying, as should anyone else that follows suit.
greymattermom
(5,754 posts)You're doing well for someone your age, but your podium is on the other side of the stage.
MustLoveBeagles
(11,641 posts)As much as we would've been satisfied to see her turn around and chew him out, she would've been criticised for it. People would've said she's shrill, angry, thin skinned, she's exaggerating, making a big deal over nothing, she wants preferential treatment because she's a woman and so on. There was no way she could've won on that point. The moderators should've told him to sit his fat ass down and not crowd her.
stillcool
(32,626 posts)think of such a thing, let alone be upset about it? He must really have issues with women. Especially one woman. God, why do I read this stuff?
llmart
(15,556 posts)and how she treated him that would shed some light. However, we know very little about her. Why is that?
StarfishSaver
(18,486 posts)cwydro
(51,308 posts)Seems clear.
Drunken Irishman
(34,857 posts)Bush gave him a dismissive nod and everyone laughed. Gore looked weak. It was a power move by Gore, tho, as he attempted to not appear weak. It backfired. Trump is all about showing dominance in that area and that's what that move. Hillary sought to ignore it. Clearly it didn't work.
Hekate
(90,848 posts)...to return to his assigned seat.
That whole stalking episode triggered the hell out of me and an uncounted number of other women with its implied violence against a women.
Runningdawg
(4,526 posts)I don't think he will debate the Dem candidate this time - AT ALL, no matter who it is.
Totally Tunsie
(10,885 posts)Frump will refuse to debate no matter who the Dem is. He'll claim he's standing on his excellent and unsurpassed record as president; not to mention, he'll by "way too busy...". There's no advantage to him taking the debate stage, and plenty of downside.
If so, let's hope the Dem nominee uses the time effectively to showcase and highlight her/his winning stance.
sprinkleeninow
(20,267 posts)Mb got msgs. to let it all unfold and do nothing. Ratings you know.
marlakay
(11,500 posts)When attacked like that its hard in the moment to respond. I had 80 yr old guy in senior dance class put his hand on my butt and his wife was right next to him!
I was in shock that this sweet old man did that so i said nothing. Made sure I didnt stand next to him after that, creeped me out. I didnt know what to say so i said nothing.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)Much less in that circumstance.
Kinda odd that hes still upset about it. Thats bizarre.
Runningdawg
(4,526 posts)NBachers
(17,149 posts)sprinkleeninow
(20,267 posts)At one point in the beginning of the sacrament when all are still in the narthex, the priest reads, "Do you renounce Satan?" And the godparent[s] responds on the baby's behalf, "I do renounce Satan!" And then makes a gesture of spitting in the direction of the west, minus saliva of course. I could see this being appropriate in this instance.
NewJeffCT
(56,829 posts)"Hysterical Hillary loses it in debate versus Trump, proves she isn't mentally fit for office"
"UNFIT"
"Angry Clinton shows she is unstable"
The media spin right after the debate often decides the winner.
Hillary won all three debates going away, and after debate 3, she was pulling away in the polls - then, the Comey letter was illegally leaked to the NY Times and her numbers tanked and last minute deciders broke heavily to Donny Dollhands.
Maru Kitteh
(28,343 posts)If she had put him in his place and told him to back off she'd have been eviscerated for "scolding" him, for being too "angry," for being "scared" of him, for thinking she was too important, better than him, "elite."
There was NOTHING Hillary Clinton could do right for the media.
Nothing.
Proud Liberal Dem
(24,445 posts)HRC should in no way be held responsible for Trump's behavior, either explicitly or implicitly.