Facing another cancer related surgery tomorrow and I need to to repost this ...

[marble falls]

Last edited Sun Apr 7, 2019, 10:14 AM - Edit history (1)

https://www.democraticunderground.com/1002252691

The slaughter of innocents.

Last edited Wed Feb 1, 2012, 04:06 PM - Edit history (1)
My story is not short and may take a few minutes to read. You will read it or you will ignore it and either way I am content. But if you should be so inclined I would appreciate your thoughts and comments especially as they pertain to solutions. That is what this board is supposed to be about, isn’t it?

You may be asking yourself why, in the whole wild world of thoughts and worthy causes that you should give this one even a moment of your precious time and that is a good question. After all, there is the Republican primaries and the many laughs those are providing us with.

Let me present you with this reason, and if you feel it is worthy then read on and I will explain at the end why it should matter to us all and not just me, although I must admit to having more than a passing interest in the subject. Here’s the thing. I am dying and I shouldn’t have to. It could have been avoided easily, but it wasn’t and the reason is the crazy patchwork quilt of health care delivery that we call private insurance.

Here’s my story.

Six years ago I was healthy, employed, happy, and in good shape. I ran 10 miles a day (half of it on stairs), had a healthy diet, saw a doctor when appropriate, and contributed to my community through volunteer work. My wife and I loved each other and we were about to finally start a family. We had finally settled down after wandering the world and finishing our masters and doctors degrees (she’s the one with the brains). We had just bought our first house (an old fixer upper well within our budget) and had started fixing it up. In addition to trying for a kid of our own we were also looking at adoption because it was a need that we felt an obligation to fulfill both in ourselves and for children in need. Life was, in short, pretty good.

Then a company vehicle, driven by an unlicensed driver, ran a stop sign and plowed into me. I had a spinal injury and a lot of pain but surgery wasn’t initially indicated contingent on PT (physical therapy) and other therapies to see if they would reduce the pain. And if it didn’t work then I would have the surgery. I was making some progress, my boss was holding my job, and I almost recovered in about 6 months. It was hard painful daily work, but I felt that I was getting my life back one screaming session at a time. Hard work was paying off again.

And then it happened again. Ironically I was driving back from another PT session when someone in a big assed pick up truck ran a stop sign and T boned my ass. This time I couldn’t feel my arms, back or legs, was in incredible pain, lost control of my bladder and bowels, and had to be hauled out of what was left of my car on a back board. I clearly remember people beeping their horns and yelling at me to “move my fucking car.” Oh, the humanity. Did I mention that I live in Michelle Bachmann’s district? Anyone surprised? As a former certified First Responder, this stunned me as much as my physical injuries. I didn’t know that such casual disregard existed.


The ambulance took me to an ER where I laid for 6 hours in my own cold urine before being seen by anyone on staff. Hmmmm. In my experience the much-ballyhooed great care in the US wasn’t so good. I was in an ER in Canada about 10 years ago for a much less serious injury and I was seen in less than an hour.

I couldn’t move. I thought I was going to die and it frightened me. And then I thought I might live and be paralyzed and that frightened me more. I think I aged about 10 years lying on that table.

Eventually I was released from the hospital with a strong recommendation for spinal surgery and either vertebral fusion and/ or disc replacement. Because of the location and complexity of this procedure, there was a 1 in 20 chance of death or total paralysis with a lesser chance of partial success. But between a choice of that or of having to live with the pain, diminished feeling and partial paralysis that I had (have) it was easy to say to the surgeon “start cutting baby. I’m feeling lucky. Daddy needs a new pair o’ shoes. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.”

Here is where the story becomes relative to the rest of you.

As you know, America’s health care is paid for by a worn out patchwork quilt of insurance companies (read: devils masquerading as thieving con men masquerading as middle men masquerading as efficiency experts). They are the “Department of No” that the mentally unhinged worry about when they moan, “keep the government out my Medicare.”

This is when the shit got bad. There were, at this point, 3 insurance companies involved in my care; two auto insurances and one health insurance (mine). The first accidents’ insurance company claimed that they weren’t responsible because my problems were the second insurance companies responsibility. The second insurance company claimed that my injuries were the first insurance companies responsibility. My health insurance said that it was a car accident so they weren’t paying either.

Understand that all of them admitted that I should be treated. They all said that I deserved treatment. But they all said it was the other companies’ problem.

My doctor wanted to help but the hospital wanted to be paid and they had 3 refusals of claim forms in hand, thus they asked for either cash or a credit card with a limit in the 6 figures. What had been “the other companies responsibility” had become my problem.

I didn’t have the money so I had to wait. 6 months later, my boss said she was very sorry to tell me that she HAD to replace me. That was pretty nice of her actually. She kept me on the books and my family covered with insurance for a full year. But I was replaced. There went my health insurance and my income and my disability insurance. I thought things were bad, but they were about to get worse.

After that I didn’t have the money to ever see a doctor much more than every other month and then every 4 months and then every 6 months and then never. The income just wasn’t there. With the loss of my income and the extra bills, my wife and I went from solidly middle class to poor. My car bloke down and I couldn’t afford to fix it so I had to walk anywhere I needed to unless my wife was around and could drive me in her car. And she took a second job out of town to help cover the bills so I walked a lot. And in the winter, in Minnesota, let me tell you, walking everywhere sucks ass.

I hired a lawyer, a very good lawyer. In fact I hired the lawyer that none of the insurance companies wanted to see in court because he is very, very good. Of the top 10 payouts in our states personal injury history, he owns 3 of them. But the insurance companies are allowed by law to stall and not respond for up to 6 months to every request made and every question asked and they do. Why? Because they can. And it isn’t their problem. It’s our problem.

Using procedural and other dodges all the insurance companies in question have pushed off any settlement now for almost 6 years. Just last week we got our first settlement offer from the first insurance company - $2000. This is an insult. Counting just lost income I’m out more than 300K. It is an invitation to sue which we are now doing. Finally the end is in sight. In about a year, we will likely get a court date.

Of course this is the part of the story where shit goes from worse to worst.

About 6 months ago I started to bleed out of my nose on a regular basis. This was accompanied by migraines. But I didn’t think much about it because; I couldn’t afford to do anything about it anyway, I already hurt, and what is one more symptom in the old shit sandwich. I figured it might just be another symptom connected to my spinal injury, or maybe just dry weather. I didn’t know and I was worried about it, but I couldn’t afford to see a doctor and I sure as shit couldn’t afford any diagnostic tests, and even if I could afford those test, how in the hell could I afford any treatments? It was a dilemma and one I decided to ignore because, well, I couldn’t do anything about it anyway.

This is the same dilemma that every man, woman and parent in this country makes if they lack coverage or have a crappy policy (that percentage is about 50% of the population and raising). This attitude may not make much sense to anyone with money in the bank or functioning insurance coverage, but remember that I had all of those things too and that coverage was denied to me. The insurance companies claim it is just a contract dispute, a minor administrative detail. To far too many of us, it is murder.

Here’s the rest of my story. The bleeding and headaches got worse. So my current boss at the clinic, where I work part time, offered to pay for an MRI. The MRI indicated a few more tests that my boss also paid for. She’s a wonderful woman. And while I’ve earned my keep, some days I feel like a charity case. These days I feel like a complete one, because I am.

The tests came back. The news was bad. Real bad. Life ending bad. Which sucks.

What pisses me off is that if I had had access to even a basic physical exam with some basic lab exams a year ago, it might likely have been diagnosed early and I wouldn’t be facing my death soon. The type of cancer I have is so treatable that it is considered non fatal if caught early enough. But it is too extensive, too pervasive to deal with now. It’s mutated. It’s spread. It’s now highly malignant.

And understand. Even if it wasn’t it doesn’t matter. Because I can’t afford treatment. If anyone want to claim that medical care is free at an ER I will just be more polite than you deserve and say “you are a low life, low information, immoral, pig ignorant, hateful suckass motherless asshat.” You can and do get basic ER care in an ER. The law is specific. Public hospitals are required to treat you just enough that you are stabilized and then they release you and bill you and then sue you if you can’t pay. And they will do NOTHING for any long term, chronic, and deadly disease like cancer. That is NOT what they are set up to do. They are called EMERGENCY ROOMS because that is all that they deal with. How fucking stupid does someone have to be not to understand that? (OK – I’ll stop ranting now, but seriously, WTF?)

In other words it didn’t have to happen and wouldn’t have if I had coverage and could have seen a doctor occasionally. In fact the original surgery would have been done and none of this story would have happened. I would be working on my house. My wife wouldn’t be working herself into an early grave. My car would work. I would be employed. And I would be a father. And I would have a future. And my family and I would grow old together.

I will die soon and the ONLY REASON is that I don’t live in a civilized country. Let that sink in for a moment.

…

Now let this sink in: I’m not alone. There are 100,000 Americans who face the same thing every year. This is an honest to god slaughter of innocents.

People dying of preventable disease in the USA every day because insurance companies decide they deserve to die. A clerical snit between my insurance companies has killed me.

In answer to some of you who may suggest that I check with the hospitals and charities and programs, and I have. The problem is that both my wife and I are self-employed so we make too much gross income (on paper) to qualify for any aid or any programs. However the net income is too little to afford much beyond the basics. And so here I sit, close to the end. My wife of 20 years will be alone. This make me so sad.

It feels strange to be so accepting of my own fate. I’m dying and I’ve spent the last few weeks calling old friends and family and reconnecting. I’ve been thinking about what I have done and accomplished in my life and except for the fact that I never had kids, I am content.

I’ve lived in Canada, the USA, and Venezuela. I have traveled to Mexico, Guatemala, Costa Rica, Columbia, Panama, Brazil, England, France, Germany, Australia, and New Zealand. I have friends all over the world. I have experienced some really cool shit in my life. I’ve worked as a rig pig, corrections officer, teacher, conductor, musician, private chef, and medical administrator. I’ve hiked glaciers and mountains, shot white water rapids, played with jazz, rock and symphonic bands, explored the Amazon, and eaten way too much ice cream.

I’ve helped set up a food co-op and a school in Guatemala, taught English as a second language to immigrants, taught composition and elocution to Chinese diplomats, worked with the sick, developed curriculum for developmentally delayed students, helped find housing and education for homeless people, donated to charities, conducted an orchestra, worked to get progressives elected (I’m a graduate of camp Wellstone – a highly worthy cause) and I make one mean roast leg of lamb.

I’ve been diving, mountain climbing, mountain biking, camping, hiking, skiing, and so many other things. I’ve had great friends and I’ve had an impact on my world. My life, although shorter than I wanted it to be and missing a few adventures, has been good. I am content except for my worry about my wife.

Someone once said that we all live the same amount of time. We are born and then we die. What happens in the middle is what counts. My life has been full. My life counted. I just wish it could have counted for a little while longer.

But that isn’t what I wanted to talk about. What I want to talk about it is why we tolerate this.

It has been estimated that about 100,000 people die in the USA a year from lack of proper care. That is more people every 2 weeks than died on 9-11. We spent about a trillion in response to that event. So why aren’t we responding to this with the same passion and strength?

More importantly, what are we going to do about it? Well, not we, but you. I won’t be around for the rest of this fight. So it’s up to all of you.

I want to ask that question to every politician, media person, lobbyist and advocate in the country; “what are we going to do about this?” But I’m out of time.

Farewell DU. This will be my last post and with the exception of answering questions on this post for the next day or so, I’m done. I probably have about another month or 2 and I’d rather spend them not worrying about the state of things. I plan on spending as much time with family and friends as possible. There are still a few books I haven’t gotten to and a few songs still un-played.

In my opinion, progressives are the last, best hope for America. Don’t give up the fight. Too many lives depend on what you do and the opinions you influence. Don’t stop taking the fight to the enemies of democracy. Don’t just stay on DU. This place is a store-house of knowledge and help and vision. Use that. Then go out into the world and make a difference. And then get up tomorrow and do it again. Be the difference you want to see in the world.

In closing I would like to apologize for every mean word, turn of phrase, misunderstanding, or slight that I have delivered to anyone here. I wanted to be a better person and I failed in that, so I hope you will forgive me. My mom used to say that those who were the hardest to love probably needed love the most. Be good to each other and respect and honor our differences, as they are our greatest strength. Thank you, DU, for giving me a home these past few years.

Good luck everyone. May your road home be filled with sunshine, gentle slopes, green grass and many a glass of fine beer on warm summer nights.




on edit - the title of the essay does NOT refer to me. I could be called many things, but innocent isnt one of them.




I am fortunate. Just so my dad could not shut me up about my opinions about the Viet Nam war at the dinner table, I joined the Navy a year after I was exposed to the draft lottery.

This is the reason I get treatment, up to date, top grade treatment.

I know I am fighting for a longer life, a chance to die of something other than bladder cancer (from years of second hand tobacco smoke) or prostate cancer (possibly a side effect of BCG treatment for the bladder cancer) and at worst at this point I have at least some good years in front of me. But I also know I am covered by VA. Too many of us aren't covered by anything at all. Feeling safe but vulnerable.



Big EDIT: MA's wife's post after MA passed:

https://www.democraticunderground.com/1002632763

MedicalAdmin (4,143 posts)

re: Medical Admin
I thought everyone should know that my husband passed away a little more than a month ago. He had devoted the last part of his life to his family, but I know that he really appreciated Democratic Underground and often mentioned to me some particularly good argument he had, or some new information that he learned while posting here.

I would like to thank everyone on here for giving him such passion and fun. I appreciate it and I know he did. I only wish he hadn't been taken (and yes, I do mean taken) from us so early. He was truly a renaissance man. In his life he had worked as a social worker, teacher, oil worker, conductor, print and publishing sales, and an officer. His last career was as a medical administrator, a job that he was gravely passionate about.

I miss him more than words can explain. I feel it like a knife twisting in my heart. I wake up in the night and he isn't there. I look for him to come through the door and he doesn't. My phone rings and it isn't him. But my world is a little less empty every day. Maybe someday the scars on my heart will heal over. In the meantime God help the insurance exec that ends up in front of me when I'm driving anywhere.

I wish everyone here good luck. As for myself and the rest of our family, a cousin of his has sponsored us to move to another country where this insurance BS won't be able to happen again to us. And so we are leaving. I would stay and fight with you but I am so tired that I can't see past survival mode right now.

Thanks again for being my husbands online friends.

Lee Ann.

[malaise]

1. marble falls, I am in tears

I hope you post after surgery and some recovery time.
I love your posts You'd better fight.

[marble falls]

4. You just do not know how much you have kept me informed and majorly entertained ...

I may go gracefully but I will not go without dissent. I am confident my team is doing everything in a timely manner to deal with this invader.

[malaise]

5. Laughter keeps us sane bro

Truth be told - we will all go. Thankfully some of us go with dissent. Fight!!

[marble falls]

7. I have to hang in. I just bought another loom and its been an education getting this ...

one warped. I'll need to weave a lot of rag rugs to pay for it, the space and the rags.

I joined the Navy just be able to argue with my dad about Viet Nam at Thanksgiving. I know about bull headed defiance.

[FM123]

2. Great article, worth every minute of reading time! Wishing you luck & peace.

[spanone]

3. K&R...👍🏼

Last edited Sun Apr 7, 2019, 10:21 AM - Edit history (1)

BEST OF WISHES....

[sinkingfeeling]

6. Thanks for reposting MedicalAdmin's post. I read it back then and

his words are more important than ever. Good luck to you with your surgery.

[at140]

8. So sorry to hear you have stage 4 cancer

My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 a year ago. She never smoked, and no symptoms such as coughing etc. She was experiencing on and off pain in her 1 rib. She blamed it on muscle pull. But the pain would go away then return stronger. She finally went to ER with intense pain. X-RAYS showed a legion in her lung. More tests followed and it was stage 4 cancer in lungs, brain & bone. Now after one year of chemo, keytruda & radiation her tumors are shrinking! I am impressed how good the treatment is now-a-days.

[marble falls]

11. My chemo - actually a immunothrapy - is to get my body to fight the cancer as an infection ...

they do it by using a live TB vacine effused into the bladder where the TB cells lock onto the cancer cells and by fighting the TB cells the body learns to recognize the cancer cells and fights against them.

The problem is that bladder cancer returns. I've had four bladder resections already as well as a partial removal of my colon - I now have a semi-colon. Depending on what happens tomorrow I may be losing my bladder and prostate in a few weeks.

But I will be alive and I will be able to be active.

An aside regarding your wife and me. We could start smoking tomorrow and get lung cancer and sue the tobacco companies. As second hand smoking victims we are SOL.

As a nonsmoker I used to laugh about second hand smoke claims. I'm not laughing now.

[Maeve]

9. Best wishes on your surgery

And thank you for reminding us what we need to be fighting for.

[marble falls]

12. The VA system is a wonderful blueprint for a national healthcare system.

[OneGrassRoot]

10. This brought up so many feelings...

First and foremost, marble falls, huge hugs of support are being sent your way.



Thank you for sharing this.

I peruse DU periodically but haven't really engaged in years. I went through my own cancer drama/trauma coming up on two years ago, so your post caught my eye. I guess I'm still going through it and will be for a while.

But reading Medical Admin's post to which you linked is what brought me to tears. Certainly the outrage and frustration at the inhumanity of the system came to the fore as it does on a regular basis, but what made me most emotional was remembering how much of a family DU was back in 2012, when that post was written.

I recognized so many names in that response thread -- some of them have passed on and no doubt at least two were due to the inhumanity of the system.

I'm just profoundly sad but also grieving for the time when this board felt like a family. I miss so many of the people who were here during those years. Perhaps it still feels like a family to many - and I sincerely hope that's the case and I most sincerely hope YOU feel that love and support.

Again, thanks for the post and more hugs for you.

[marble falls]

15. What hurts me most is what an accomplished life MA had built and he was almost as well ...

as murdered by the private sector. They don't want to insure - they want to collect premiums.

My life pales next to his and I get some of the best care in the world because I joined the Navy to keep my dad from shutting me up over turkey and cranberries.

He BTW had Cadillac insurance and was a vet and he ignored the symptoms and died of colon cancer that had metastasized to his lungs, brain, and liver. I still think about how being tough as nails but not wanting anyone to poke around in those places killed him.

[democrank]

13. I have an ache in my throat, and tears in my eyes, marble falls.

Your will is so strong, your heart so good. Keep fighting, keep believing. I’m sending a hug.

[marble falls]

18. Thankyou so much! Who I am has been part and parcel to who I've gotten to know here ...

and how much this old dog learns here every time I sign in. I've changed positions on some long held opinions by being here and being open to a bigger picture.

[Scarsdale]

14. Best of luck to you.

Too bad you did not run for political office. You understand regular people much more than the deadwood in office do. Each time the politicians and others say a national health service would be too costly, seems another healthcare official is charged with taking MILLLIONS of $$$$ from Medicare. How many doctors have over prescribed medications, and pocketed the profits? Time to wake up and FIGHT the corruption in the medical field, and in politics. I am so very sorry you had to go through all of this. I had a 45 year old son who died because he had no medical coverage. He was afraid to see a doctor because "He will send me for all kinds of tests, and I will be in debt for the rest of my life" A few weeks after he passed, a friend of his also died, waiting for a late shipment of insulin. This country is a disgrace when it comes to medical coverage. I wish you and your wife the very best. Miracles DO happen, just not to the right people it seems.

[marble falls]

20. I am so sorry for your loss. Vampire capitalism has taken over here and we need to resist ...

it to last breath - its or ours.

[Scarsdale]

22. Thank you.

Most of my family lives in the UK, under that "demonized" NHS. They are horrified at the tales from the US of the laughable health care over here. My son lost his battle almost ten years ago. The hurt never goes away. It is as though part of me is missing.

[marble falls]

24. Loss of a child is maybe the one thing I cannot begin to imagine. I pray for your healing, too.

[mfcorey1]

16. My heart to your heart. I am feeling so much of your struggle and I am going to kick

this to every politician I can. It is inhumane, just inhumane!

[Boomerproud]

34. This thread should be faxed to Congress

and read on the House floor.

[ancianita]

47. Absolutely. Every day. Until Single Payer is passed.

[TexasBushwhacker]

61. I agree

Besides the needless premature deaths that inadequate healthcare causes, think about the disabilities. The diabetics who go blind or have to have limbs amputated. The stroke victims who had untreated high blood pressure. The millions who suffer from treatable illnesses because their insurance chooses not to pay for the specific medication their physician prescribes and insists they take a generic.

All this misery has very real, dollars and cents costs to our society. People who die or become disabled early don't contribute to the economy much. They don't pay taxes. They, or ther survivors, receive SSI or SSDI and ofter get Medicare or Medicaid. All because our private health insurance system is FUCKING EVIL.

[ismnotwasm]

17. This is heartbreaking

And I see stories like this more and more lately, in my field people struggling to get funding for a solid organ transplant, which is their ONLY pathway to life. There is a gap between insurance lapsing, Medicare and Medicaid that people fall through.

I hope your surgery goes well.

[marble falls]

21. Maybe the fifth one'll be the charm! I'm not giving up. The fight I put up will make the ...

next person's fight that much easier.

[nuxvomica]

19. I hope your surgery is miraculous

I hope that is the word you must use to describe it afterwards. Let's just leave it at that.

Your repost refers to the "innocents" and I have been viewing politics as a battle not so much between good and evil as between innocence and corruption. I see a dynamic where everyone seeks that safe place of innocence, that blissful time of wonder, playfulness and honesty so common to the childhood of those privileged enough to be held safe in their youth. Even the corrupt seek it but they are misdirected, thinking corruption will make them safe, or thinking life makes no demand on them to protect the innocent. But when we reach maturity, and enjoy the powers of adulthood, the protection of innocence becomes our singular duty. And we will never know that bliss again unless we attend to that duty. This is why we progressives fight so much for things that others think we needn't bother caring about. We have found the path to bliss and it is not an easy one, but we have found it. May you continue on that path much longer than you might expect, and attend your duties as a champion of the innocent, and know that you are not alone, that the path is difficult but also crowded. Peace.

[marble falls]

23. That was why we chose to live in small towns when our kids were born. Innocence ...

makes growth natural.

I expect to see 100. I am going to get as close as I can.

[cpamomfromtexas]

25. Yhis should be on front page of every newspaper in America

[area51]

26. "What I want to talk about it is why we tolerate this."

"... the ONLY REASON is that I don’t live in a civilized country."

THIS.

I will never understand why so many people can't google, can't find out the republinazis and insurance and big pharma are lying to them about healthcare in every other first-world country. There is no reason why people are dying before their time in a wealthy country like the US.

Please advocate for comprehensive Medicare for All and please contact speaker Pelosi and ask her to support this.

[marble falls]

27. We have to agitate, agitate, agitate. We cannot let them be comfortable ever.

[DFW]

28. Mind and spirit are the last line of defense

My dad was a Washington print journalist until pancreatic cancer took him.

From his last column: "Only time sets the parameters. Until the body gives out (for the spirit never will), then I will have to call it a life."

When my brother-in-law was diagnosed with stage 4 glioblastoma, he was given 6 months. He stretched it out to two and a half years. My dad was given two months with his advanced pancreatic cancer. He lasted almost a year. While he was already deteriorating, someone had proposed that Medicare cover only 85% of out-patient costs as a budget-reducing measure. He arranged a conference call with Sen. Moynihan and the White House (my dad could do stuff like that) and said are you people crazy? I'm dying of cancer here, and if you reduce my out-patient coverage, then I'll just check into the hospital (still covered at 95%) for every visit and cost the government a fortune more, and so will everyone else after I write about this! They said OMG, you're right, what were we thinking?" The measure was abandoned the next week.

The mind and the spirit can work wonders not explained by medicine. I'm not advising you to get out the voodoo dolls yet, but way back when I joined DU, there was an abbreviation frequently used that I have not seen here in many years: NGU. It stood for "never give up." I think I'll take the liberty of reviving that one. I've seen my wife through two rounds of cancer, one known around here as "the murderer." With both of my parents and ALL of their siblings having been stricken by cancer, with me, it's not "if" but "when."

All I can say is, I'm impressed at what you've done, where you've been, and even if it looks like the end is approaching, make them take you kicking and screaming. NGU

[marble falls]

30. The end is always approaching, the trick is being a moving target and do whatever feels ...

like something to confound it.

I've heard that story about the call before I just don't recall your dad's name.

In the thatch roof over my front door I keep a big claidheamh-mòr - figuratively, of course.

[DFW]

37. My dad never sought nor got any recognition for his call

He didn't want to publish anything that would embarrass the the last months of the Clinton White House. The failed impeachment was, after all, just a year previous. He was happy just to have accomplished his goal. He never lived to see Cheney/Bush installed by the Supreme Court. Maybe you will live to see a Democrat nudge Trump out of the White House, maybe to be met by Federal Marshals, waiting with handcuffs.

Figuratively.........of course

[dlk]

29. I Am So Sorry for Your Ordeal

No one should have to endure such an experience. I had a nightmare experience with insurance companies stemming from a car accident, although not nearly so horrific as yours. In my case, a car made an illegal turn and totaled my vehicle. My three young children were with me and all of us were seriously injured.

To make a very long story short, it took 8 years, hiring 4 different law firms and 4 different judges (in the same court) to resolve the case and just get our medical bills paid, and we had platinum-level insurance coverage.

What I and my children experienced was pervasive corruption, in the insurance system, both health and auto, along with the legal system. Americans die every day from this systemic corruption. I don’t know how we, as a country, can ever move beyond it. We are being destroyed from within.

[cp]

31. Powerful, vital post

Thank you for re-posting. You have a force-field of positive strong energy from all of us at DU with you tomorrow. All the best!

[babylonsister]

32. I had never read MA's account of

what he went through so thank you for that. Yes, our current system is FUBAR'ed but maybe not beyond all repair. We have some people coming around to actually considering people before profit. We are slow learners.

I used to have Tricare before I got a divorce but am now a lover of Obamacare, so watch what's going on closely. I just had precancerous cells removed, had a mastectomy 35+ years ago. My brother had his prostate removed and my twin was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer last summer (they poisoned her with chemo and now she's getting blasted with radiation, but NED (no evidence of disease) now, so it's working!!

I pray every idiot out there who wants to privatize the military healthcare gets muzzled. I can't name anyone who has not been affected by cancer in their family; it's insidious.

I am so happy to read you have good people working on your behalf; I think that is half the battle. Too often doctors are too harried to care.

I will be offering up healing thoughts to you; hang in there.

[marble falls]

35. I just added MA's wife's post after he passed in th OP.

I sooooo agree with you.

InTemple, where I go for VA, Scott and White (a highly rated hospital/healthcare system) has entered into a partnership with VA so Scott and White can get their interns and residents more training ans so they can learn how VA does so very well with its amazing good patient record systems. That's as close to privatization as I want it to get. I live far enough from Temple to be able to use the brand new local Scott and White but I'd rather drive 120 miles to Temple and 40 miles to Austin to my VA primary care physician. My wife uses Scott and White and I can get better treatment than she does by going to VA. Its not that S and W are bad: they're not. VA is just better.

[argyl]

58. Best of wishes. You obviously have strength and courage to draw on. May it serve you well.

I see you're going to the VA Hospital in Temple. My Dad was an on staff doctor there way back in the '60's.

I lived in Temple for three years as a child. The Heart of Texas. I loved it.

Once again, the very best of wishes.

[marble falls]

60. I worked at the Brecksville VA in the early 70's when I got out of the USN ...

first night I went home and told my wife to promise no matter what to not let me die in a VA.

Todays VA is so different. I'm glad your dad was there to take care of my brothers and sisters. Temple is a wonderful hospital.

[marble falls]

36. He's passed, bubba.

[malaise]

40. Just realized that was about another DUers husband

My bad

[marble falls]

42. You're an empathetic sort, one of your many, many sterling qualities!

[malaise]

44. Your Black History month posts

showed way more than empathy

[marble falls]

50. That means more to me than anything ever said to me. That was a labor of love and it ...

I am better for it. I absolutely had to do that.

[greatauntoftriplets]

38. Best of luck to you tomorrow.

[marble falls]

39. Thank you. Its gotten to be yearly thing, hasn't it!

[greatauntoftriplets]

41. It seems to be that way.

Scary for you and not at all enjoyable.

[marble falls]

48. Every once in while I get tempted to measure out how long is enough ...

Because of the location of this I will leave it to your imagination as to why this surgery leaves no visible scars. Add to it: how the infusion is added during a 'chemo' - same way the surical stuff gets into the bladder, all the monthly, then quarterly camera expeditions into the badder - I haven't gotten to half yearly yet, let alone yearly. And an intervening colon partial resection ... after five years it gets easy to get all whiny about it.

But today I feel great. And I know want more of that feeling great, so at least for the foreseeable time - I'm in it to win it.

Look: we cured LG. We can at least cure cancer.

[greatauntoftriplets]

51. Seems like you'll eventually run out of spare parts, but that isn't necessarily good.

My mother had her colon resected (due to diverticulitis) at age 88 and lived another five years. I have faith that you'll eventually beat this thing.

[marble falls]

55. Curiously enough, despite learning all I didn't know before I started on this road, I do, too.

[greatauntoftriplets]

56. That positive attitude goes a long way.

[Yonnie3]

57. I've been in the bladder cancer surgery and treatment cycle since 1995

I have rarely shared this ...

I had many treatments and surgeries in the first five years. Less frequent after that and I just graduated to an annual cystoscopy two years ago. After the first five years I was not optimistic at all. I was wrong.

I have permanent irritation of the bladder from BCG and other treatments. I've also got prostate problems that are likely caused by the treatments.

I'm still kicking.

Good luck!

[marble falls]

59. So far I seem to be tracking along with you! I'll be VERY glad indeed to follow in your in ...

your footsteps.

You are the first bladder cancer patient I've met who is as far along as you. You don't know how glad I am to meet you!

Its not that I'm not optimistic, its that I'm treading along unknown paths. All I've met so far are people who are in the same place I am or the one guy who could have been me, who ignored what few signs there are until there was no doubt, something was wrong. Meeting him cut the thread measuring exercise short and I quit feeling sorry for me. Having cancer is personal, but the cancer itself is impersonal, it does not care in whom it resides.

Yonnie, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou for sharing with me - its takes some of the uncertainty away.

[Yonnie3]

64. Each case is different ....

My onset was at age 45, which was young for the typical case. It was caught just before it got to the muscle of the bladder. If it had been up to my GP I'd be dead at worst or badder-less at best, but after six months of symptoms I self referred to a Urologist.

My first Urologist was old and then retired around 2000, the new one used the modern flexible scope (Oh! What a difference!) and was up on all the latest stuff. It may be a coincidence, but things seemed to go better after the new Doc took over. He had studied under a Dr. Lamm in WVa. Lamm is noted for his BC and BCG research. I just looked him (Lamm) up and he is now in practice in Phoenix. http://www.bcgoncology.com/

When I asked odds of recurrence I was grudgingly told "Each case is different" and then about "fifty-fifty." I didn't do anything different than other people who got worse. I think it was luck.

Please feel free to PM me anytime.

[marble falls]

68. I sure will. Its good to know there just may be light at the end of the tunnel. That someone ...

know has gotten there.

[malaise]

90. Keep it up

[Yonnie3]

91. Yes!

Now that I'm much older, it is getting more likely something else will be my undoing. I keep on top of it.

[malaise]

93. We were discussing this last night

Something is coming for every one of us so be nice, love others and enjoy life.

[Yonnie3]

94. Can I be grumpy, sarcastic and perhaps snippy from time to time?

It is part of enjoying my life.

[Highway61]

43. I know how you feel

different time period. Different disease. I was 11 years old. My dad was a dairy farmer. Our family had insurance. However, there were still bills above and beyond. I remember one instance when I overheard him telling my mother (he sounded so hopeless) that he didn't know how he was going to pay for "this". I have that bill he was talking about in my hope chest to this day. It was $500.00. Dated from 1965. That wasn't that long ago considering how fast we have gotten to the bottom of the greed pool.

To make a long story short I spent 2 years fighting a battle. It took me a long time to get better. I grew up faster than most children.

I learned that the simple things we all take for granted in life are the most important. You already know that. However, I want to tell you to stay strong, my friend. Cancer does NOT define you. Your strength inside of you does. (I hope you find this post positive as I can ramble on at times without getting to the point.)

Anyway, stay positive marble falls and know there are many of us who wish you healing energy. You are loved. Bless you.

[marble falls]

49. You make plenty of good sense.

[Granny M]

45. Sending good wishes for you, Marble Falls.

Heartbreaking read.

[bluestarone]

46. Not good with words here BUT just want to wish you ALL the luck in the world!!

Your post is right on the money!! We do have to continue this fight! I read all your posts and look forward to MORE please hang in there! I do pray for a big miracle God Bless!!

[samnsara]

52. our hearts will move with you. Good luck and I am so very sorry....(((hugs)))

[tblue37]

53. K&R for visibility. nt

[seta1950]

54. 😢

😢😢

[BobTheSubgenius]

62. Unutterably awful.

I can't tell if this story makes me more sad than furious, vice versa, or the same. What does it matter, though?

Another story I read and talked about last night made me glad I was born in Canada. Now, I feel doubly blessed.

[PatrickforO]

63. Dear Lee Ann,

I am so very sorry for your loss, and wish the very best for you with your upcoming surgery.

It is good you posted this again because so many in this country have crappy, rationed healthcare with financially crippling copays. I had an accident back in Feb. 2016 that literally brought me to my knees. Fortunately, I was able to go back to work because I have a really good job.

But I still have crappy, rationed healthcare with financially crippling copays. Sometimes I don't even feel like I have healthcare. The conservatives say we are 'happy' with our employer-provided health insurance, but I'm not. Oh, don't get me wrong - I wouldn't want to give it up unless I could get something better, but I don't like it.

Why in the heck does this country need over half a trillion for 'defense' and why, when we think we can afford a brand new, shiny Space Force do we have no money to provide health care to our people?

Well, I do wish you the best, and will think good thoughts about your upcoming surgery. And I'm so very sorry your husband suffered like he did.

And for anyone reading this who might feel in the least bit smug, I never in a million years thought becoming disabled would happen to me, but it did. This is why we need to reorganize ourselves around human need rather than human greed. It is the primacy of the shareholder doctrine that is causing our misery, our scarcity and our suffering. Expand that to include workers, consumers and the environment, and we solve lots of problems, yes, but health care is a public concern and it needs to be paid for with public dollars.

We need to repeal the giant Republican tax cut for billionaires and corporations, and substantially raise taxes to take care of the things our people need. I'd be willing to pay a lot more in taxes for actual health CARE instead of a crummy HMO insurance plan. And I will cheerfully pay for your healthcare too. All of us need to foot that bill because that is what makes us human - we take care of each other. Or we did until capitalism came along.

[sheshe2]

65. You have been through so much.

I wish you well tomorrow and in the future, my friend.

[marble falls]

69. We all have our tests troubles, being there for each other is what gets us through. Thankyou ...

for being there to help me pull through.

[sheshe2]

73. I will be sending healing thoughts tomorrow.

[peacebuzzard]

66. Marble Falls, I wish you well with surgery. Thanks for the epic post. It was all new to me.

I hope you post again soon about your progress.
I am so sorry about Medical Admin, I did not know the story as I at the time was also on a LTD disability for a serious health problem,
I could have exchanged notes about the insurance racket I am now familiar with and was forced to deal with for 4 years.

All of this is so sad and so true and so controlling, run by lobbyists, the political powers and is in dire need of change.
Way past the point.
I wish you a speedy recovery and look forward to your post advising your status.

sending wishes for a full recovery.
Peacebuzzard.

[marble falls]

70. Ima going to be here as long as I can. Might be a real long time. I'll keep posting on it ...

when I get back Tues or Wed.

[peacebuzzard]

74. Safe journey, brother,

will look for new updates.
So glad you have VA health coverage.
I am in my 60s and have had major health problems which my company's insurance covered.
I will stay at work as long as I can because of the insurance.
I also have Medicare but the company's insurance covers so much more.
It's a shame we have to modify life's course because of insurance or no insurance.
Peacebuzzard.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

67. I remember medical admin, this essay broke my heart

Then and now, again.

Best wishes marble falls, for a great operating team and fast recovery!!

[marble falls]

71. I was looking at the memorial page when I saw this and I just had to put it up again ...

Its humbling to think I get health care because I was being bullheaded and MA was a real contributor to society and he got ignored bounced around to death.

[marble falls]

72. Well ... we're leaving for Temple right now. Thankyou all for good vibes.

[malaise]

76. You are welcome

[BlancheSplanchnik]

92. 😥

[lambchopp59]

75. RWNJ's need to read this. If they don't react with any geniune empathy then:

They must be a low life, low information, immoral, pig ignorant, hateful suckass motherless asshat.
I'd love to print that on a big protest sign to display at a Trump rally. It would earn a bullet through my head, but worth it.

[dalton99a]

77. Kick

[pbmus]

78. Heh bro, Welcome home and keep up the good fight...

The VA has saved my life....due to agent orange exposure I have, prostate cancer, colon cancer, diabetes, neuropathies, hbp, and ptsd.....

I only have good thoughts about the VA....and thank god that it is available to me.

Please keep fighting...

[marble falls]

100. Man, we haven' run into each other in a while. We'll fight together, a band of brothers AND ...

sisters. Glad you appreciate VA as much as I do!

[lapucelle]

79. I am so sorry.

I know that people pay lip service and mindlessly offer prayers while they basically never pray.

It may seem a bit out of the mainstream here, but I actually do pray. Please let me know if prayers are welcome.

[sprinkleeninow]

80. 💔

🕯

[Karadeniz]

81. Thank you immensely for reposting all this. I think you are both people of great strength

although everyone wishes you never suffered all you did. I wish you all the peace and happiness that you deserve in your new location...although selfishly I will say that we probably need you here more than I can say. Take all our thought with you. So sorry....

[pandr32]

82. Gut wrenching to read

Everything should have happened differently. You should have been given the best care from the get-go with no delays due to fighting off responsibilities. This is what insurance companies do--try not to pay, and not just health insurance companies. The very idea that the business model for corporate insurers leads our health care is disgusting.

What have we become and how did it get so bad?

I don't believe in religious miracles, but I do believe that surprising and wonderful things can happen. May we copy your post and send it to people?

Thank you so much for sharing your story and know many of us will continue to fight for everyone to have access to quality care.

Aloha.

[Me.]

83. ...

[yonder]

84. Thanks for this sobering message. Peace and mend well.

[recovering_democrat]

85. thank you for posting this

I have a friend in a very closely related situation to yours with the multiple insurance companies. It is sadly devastating and you have my thoughts and prayers.

There is too much of this. May we fix it soon. We have to keep trying!

[colorado_ufo]

86. Best wishes for a blessed future.

I am so sorry for what you and your husband endured. This is a great wrong that so many people have had to deal with.

[Niagara]

87. I wish the best to you and your family, Marble Falls

I want to let you know that we will not stop fighting for affordable and necessary healthcare in our country.

We know that we cannot afford to wait for our healthcare crisis to be debated and along with the many attempted repeals. Too many people have lost their lives and too many people in financial ruin.

This is the second time today that I was informed that a person has Stage (fill in the number) of (fill in the blank) cancer. I'm having all these emotions from anger to absolute terror. My mind is reeling.

Good luck to you. If you have the strength we would love to hear from you. Here's to you, here's to your fight, and here's to you hopefully winning this battle.

Sending strength, love and support your way.

[blogslut]

88. I wish you peace and love

I wish it for everyone

[diva77]

89. Best wishes for a favorable outcome from the surgery; so sorry for your cancer diagnosis

Last edited Mon Apr 8, 2019, 02:18 AM - Edit history (1)

We hope to see more posts from you to let us know how you are doing...

[burrowowl]

95. K&R

U$ofA's has health no care!

[Texasgal]

96. GAWD DAMMIT!

This is heartbreaking!

I have my own story to tell... but for now... RIP MA. Thank you for sharing your story. RIP... *tears*

[marble falls]

101. We're a group where the worth is much higher than the sum of the parts.

[Beacool]

97. I want to wish you luck tomorrow.

Good vibes and prayers are going your way.

Thank you for the reposting. MA deserved better and so do many others in the same position.

[panader0]

98. One of the most powerful posts I have ever read here.

It made my stomach tighten and my eyes tear up. You are strong and brave. Best of luck.

[flamingdem]

99. Thank you

[Demovictory9]

102. ...

[Dem2theMax]

103. marble falls, check in and let us know how you are doing when you are up to it.

You have been on my mind ever since I read your post a few days ago. I sure hope everything is going well.

[marble falls]

104. good and not good news ...

The good news is I didn't wake up with a catheter and bag this time ...but there were cancer cells in my urine, they took a tumor and some surface lesions and my surgeon Dr Wang (seriously, that is his name) thinks the cancer has broken through the wall of my bladder. In two weeks after the biopsies come back, I have an appointment to go through my options: a resection to remove the section of the bladder where the cancer is, removal of my prostate or a removal of the bladder and prostate. If you take a bladder, the prostate has to go with it.

I've been fighting this thing to a draw but the stakes are increasing.

Thank G*d I'm part of one one of the largest socialist health care system in the world: VA. Thank G*d it is really a good program. I think VA is a wonderful model of what every single American should have.

[Dem2theMax]

105. I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

It's really strange, but I have a friend who is going through the exact same thing, and is also going through the VA.

In his case, he had some unusual pain last November, and they finally found a mass in his bladder. They did a biopsy and found out that it was cancer, and that it had gone through the bladder wall.

Because he is in general good health, they wanted him to do a round of chemo first, before they did surgery. And he was given the same options that you just mentioned.

After his first session of chemo, he somehow caught bronchitis, and had to stop the chemo until he was well. During that time, he reassessed his situation, and decided to just go ahead and get the bladder removed. Apparently he was not a good candidate for either of the other procedures. He never mentioned the part about the prostate, and he actually had prostate cancer last year, and had to have radiation.

His surgery is set for April 22nd. So you both sound like you're in pretty much the same boat.

I almost feel like I really know you in real life, after reading everything you are going through, and knowing someone who is going through exactly the same things.

Know that there is a stranger out here who is keeping you in her thoughts, and hoping that everything comes out exactly as you need it to, so that you can be here for MANY years to come, (and see us take back the country!)

In the next few days, expect a PM from me. I wanted to tell you privately how much your post and that of MA's meant to me.

Hang in there and keep fighting.

[marble falls]

106. Thanks for your post. All my symptoms were a little trickle of blood and a general tiredness ...

and I was to my primary care physician within a week of seeing it.

They kept asking me if was a smoker and because I never was, we looked a couple of other things. Thank goodness my Muslim woman physician went to bat for me and got me an appointment in GU at Temple. And they kept asking me if I smoked, then I told them I had been around a lot of smokers and that's when they got serious - bladder cancer is a cancer that is caused also by second hand smoke.

I used to laugh at those who complained about 2nd hand smoke. I am not laughing now. In fact I'm kinda po'd. I could have been a smoker knowing all about its connection to cancer, gotten cancer and sued. But we 2nd hand cancer victims are on our own. Thank the Lord I joined the Navy.

Don't tell anyone, but I joined the Navy so my dad couldn't shut me up at Thanksgiving. I was anti-war the whole time and there was a lot of anti-war sentiment in the Navy. Sailors "mined" at least one harbor on the east coast with beach balls, at the time the US mined Haiphong Harbor.

http://www.vietnamwar.net/HaiphongHarbor.htm

https://libcom.org/history/1961-1973-gi-resistance-in-the-vietnam-war

[Dem2theMax]

107. I swear, you and my friend could practically be twins.

The one big difference is that he did smoke. He did quit a number of years ago. His wife did a lot of research once they found out about the cancer. She spoke to a friend who is a nurse in oncology, and one of the things she specifically mentioned was that smoking and bladder cancer are definitely connected.

My dad, and his whole side of the family, they all smoked. They have all passed away, and I sit here wondering what all of that secondhand smoke did to me. My dad quit in his 50s, but I had a good 15 years of being around that smoke all the time. Even when we try to be healthy, we never know what's coming down the road.

I read the whole way through both of the links you provided, and I got quite an education.

I was in high school when the Vietnam war finally wound down. That second link you provided, all of that was absolutely new to me. My jaw dropped a number of times while reading it. It was flabbergasting to read that for every thousand soldiers, half of them went AWOL, amazing. The numbers don't lie in telling one how horrible it had to be over there.

I have to admit that I laughed at the ingenuity the troops were using to get their point across. From sabotage, to sneaking in newspapers full of information, to utterly refusing to take orders, and paying the price for doing so.

Bravery obviously comes in all forms. Thank goodness that so many used that bravery to show us all that that war never should have happened.

I do have to make one silly comment. I have watched Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, at least 20 times. Most recently, last week. And in that movie, the USS Enterprise, the ship, not the spaceship, is docked in Alameda. Because, of course, that is where the 'nuclear wessels' are stationed. Just ask Chekhov.

So I really got a kick out of reading the article you provided, and it mentioned USS Enterprise being docked in Alameda!

And by the way, my friend who is going through the same thing you are, he was in Vietnam as well. I can't remember which branch of the service, but I will find out. He is being treated at the VA in La Jolla, California.

[marble falls]

108. Please relate to him the honest thoughts and prayers of another brother who knows at ...

least a portion of what he's going through.

We have a lot of history that's been if not hidden, abandoned.

Bless you and yours!