An epic obituary: Tim Schrandt, age 63, of Spillville, IA

[ehrnst]

Tim Schrandt (Lynyrd) made his last inappropriate comment on March 29, 2019. If you are wondering if you may have ever met him, you didn't -because you WOULD remember. For those of you that did meet him, we apologize, as we're sure he probably offended you. He was world renowned for not holding back and telling it like it is.

Tim was born to William (Bill) Schrandt and Mary (Schrandt) Manning on June 11,1955 - 100 years too late. Given Tim's demeanor he would have been the perfect weathered cowboy in the old west or rough and tough pioneer, or maybe he just should have been Amish.

Tim was the 4th of 8 kids, the bottom rung of the top tier (the big kids). Instead of taking his place on that rung, listening to the older kids and doing as he was told by his older siblings, he decided to anoint himself "king" of the 4 little kids. Tim spent his childhood and early adulthood ordering them around and in general, tormenting them. He was a great orator, (not like Shakespear, but more like Yogi Berra), as he always had something to say,
and always had to get in the last word.

His position as "king" and orator was challenged by the nuns at St. Wenceslaus school in Spillville. He may have met his match. We’re not saying the nuns won, but they put up a good fight, we mean literally - he got into a fist-a-cuff with a nun. In fairness, she probably started it. You didn't take a swing at Tim and not expect one back. Tim's fondness for authority (his own - not others) followed him to South Winneshiek High School in Calmar and later into the Army. This provided for many interesting episodes and stories, detentions and demotions, and a few "run ins" with the law, not just locally, but globally.

Tim worked at Camcar/Stanley Black and Decker in Decorah as a tool and die maker for 30 plus years. Tim worked with many friends and “a bunch of morons”. His words, not ours. Well not exactly his, words because that would have included a bunch of swear words.

Tim leaves behind a hell of a lot of stuff that his family doesn't know what to do with. So, if you are looking for a Virgin Mary in a bathtub shrine (you Catholics know what we’re talking about) you should wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch with them.

Tomorrow would be fine.

.............................

Tim led a good life and had a peaceful death - but the transition was a bitch. And for the record, he did not lose his battle with cancer. When he died, the cancer died, so technically it was a tie! He was ready to meet his Maker, we're just not sure "The Maker" is ready to meet Tim.

Good luck God!

We are considering establishing a Go-Fund-Me account for G. Heileman Brewing Co., the brewers of Old Style beer, as we anticipate they are about to experience significant hardship as a result of the loss of Tim"s business. Keep them in your thoughts.

More:

https://www.schluterbalikfuneralhome.com/obituary/tim-schrandt

[dhill926]

1. hah! that was a good read....

[gratuitous]

4. It was

I've known one or two Tims in my time; good for stories, less good for being too close a friend, unless you had bail money handy at all times.

[marybourg]

2. OMG!

[dalton99a]

3. Good one

[Va Lefty]

5. That was hilarious!

[UpInArms]

6. RIP, Tim

Am certain the world is a smaller place without you

[Karadeniz]

7. That was fun! Wish more obits were honest. Most are about as totally honest as a Christmas family le

[The Genealogist]

8. Ive read a lot of obts in my time

This is the first i have read that included an anecdote about fisticuffs with a nun. Not sure if i am sorry or glad I never met this guy.

[HipChick]

9. Saw this yesterday

Forget to post it..

[EveHammond13]

10. I think Tim would approve.

[hunter]

11. Hah! Cancer is like a bad tic-tac-toe player. The best it can do is tie.

I'll have to remember that.

Tool and die making has changed so much since I was working in a shop as a summer job when I was young.

Much of the work today is simply sent off, electronically, to China. Parts arrive a few weeks later.

The shop I worked in closed a long time ago.

[marble falls]

30. I'm going in for my fifth bladder cancer surgery Monday, and what happens from it will determine ...

if there's going to be another one and how radical will be. I am not fighting for a draw and the cancer does not give a shit either way.

I am at peace no matter what the outcome is and I feel no need to anthropomorphize my cancer.

[Metatron]

33. All my best to you, marble

[marble falls]

34. I appreciate that. Thoughts and prayers do work! Thankyou so much.

[hunter]

35. Good luck!

I hate the "fight" metaphors, the anthropomorphism of of cancer. That's why I found this obituary intriguing.

I "fought" and struggled with asthma and mental illness for far too long.

It wasn't until I *accepted* them, that they were an inherent condition of my existence (good, bad, and sometimes ugly...), that things got better.

Generally more can be accomplished in peace than by fighting.

[marble falls]

36. You and I think alike. I pray your struggles are going well, too ...

I tell people cancer does not define me but it is an existing condition that I need to aware of but not driven by.

[SallyHemmings]

37. All the best to you

[marble falls]

38. Good vibes are medicine. Thankyou!

[ehrnst]

44. You are in my thoughts - good energy coming your way!

[marble falls]

45. It really does help and I appreciate all the help I get, thankyou.

[Celerity]

49. I wish you the best! So hope you are ok.

[marble falls]

51. I'm OK no matter what. The hard part is not getting worn down by the process of fighting ...

this thing. The major discomforts are gone in a couple of months. About the time I feel great: another surgery or a cycle of immunotherapy. Sometimes there's a delay in that because there's a scarcity of BCG (the live TB vaccine used to get the body to attack the cancer), like I found out last Monday when I had my pre-surgery appointments last Monday was keeping some other vets getting it. My first cycle was delayed three years ago when I was scheduled for my first cycle. Big Pharma screws vets, too.

Even today, I feel great. After 10:30 this Monday, well .... there's a lot of uncertainty. I am satisfied with my treatment. I know they are doing everything they can, they make me feel as if I am the only patient on their minds.

Thoughts and prayers do work. I am grateful for all of them that come my way.

G*d bless DU!

[Celerity]

53. Keep up the good fight, life is always worth it. All my best thoughts sent.

[Grammy23]

12. At last an obit that entertains but is filled with nuggets

of truth sprinkled liberally throughout. I hope my obit is half as good as this one.

[elias7]

13. Hate to say it, but sounds not unlike our current pResident

[skypilot]

17. Yeah, I'm a bit ambivalent.

It seems that he might be more fun to read about than to actually know.

[cab67]

20. I respectfully disagree.

There's a difference between "telling it like it is" and "making shit up that you think the other person wants to hear." I also see no evidence that this person scammed his way through life.

[elias7]

21. Trump is a bullshi**er, I give you that, but his base thinks he tells it like it is

I wasn’t thinking about the scamming piece either, but the whole glorification of bad behavior thing is tiresome...

[USALiberal]

27. So many people defend being rude as "telling it like it is" nt

[Pacifist Patriot]

26. I don't get that at all.

I can't imagine anyone writing an obit for Trump that would give any indication he's missed. Nowhere do they say he was a pathological liar or outright disrespectful or cruel.

[catbyte]

28. Well, to be fair, they didn't mention a spouse or children, so either he was a bachelor &

didn't procreate or they wanted nothing to do with him. And, they did say that the only ones to "keep in your thoughts" were the folks at J Heilman Brewing Company.


BTW, I actually grew up knowing people like that guy. Mr. Know-it-Alls who actually knew nothing about anything at all. They popped up around northern lower Michigan like toadstools.

[Tipperary]

31. Click the link and read the whole thing.

He had children and grandchildren, a loving family, a wife, and lots of friends.

[Pacifist Patriot]

55. Did you read the full obit? He did indeed have a family.

[JI7]

39. not at all, this guy had the same job for decades. served in the military

his rudeness is described as bossing around his siblings and fighting with nuns.

trump is a bigoted coward .

[Historic NY]

52. Fighting with nuns....

is never a win-win. You might get your licks in temporarily.

[SWBTATTReg]

14. Neat obit! I only wish that in the 'real' world more people would be honest and forthcoming...

with each other. Basically, you tell it like it is. My friends know this. If you are being an idiot, I'll tell you to your face that you're being an idiot, and so forth (and I expect the same in return).

I want truth, not a fairy tale. Too many fairy tales going on in this country and frankly, I'm sick and tired of hearing about them.

[Cal Carpenter]

15. Well worth the click-through to read the whole thing

That was excellent

[Firestorm49]

16. Ouch!

[Dem_4_Life]

18. That is hilarious. RIP Tim

[Canoe52]

19. Funny!

[handmade34]

22. very good!

when my husband died (18 years ago) he wrote his own obit beforehand, and it was similar... I think I would have appreciated Tim

[femmedem]

47. I suspect Tim had at least a hand in writing this one.

Sounds like your husband was someone I would have liked to have known.

[Demovictory9]

23. wow... great obituary

[mcar]

24. That is great!

[malaise]

25. Truly delish

Thanks

[Ferrets are Cool]

29. I suspect, from his obit, that this is a person

I would have avoided being around. I did not see anything there that was worthy of exaltation or praise.

[JI7]

40. it's just humor, he held the same job for decades and served in the military

there are different levels of asshole.

not all make once a horrible person

[Ferrets are Cool]

41. Sorry, I found nothing humorous about it

We are all different.
And serving in the military means NOTHING to me. My dad served in the Korean Conflict and was a serial child molester. Should he be looked upon differently because he was in the military?
Have a wonderful day.

[JI7]

42. my point was if he truly was that bad

he probably wouldn't have stayed at the same job for years. and would have been kicked out of the military . and probably in prison.

[Tipperary]

43. You should read the whole thing. He had a loving family, many friends, children, grandchildren.

Sorry you were unable to see the humor in it.

[SunSeeker]

32. An honest obit, wow!

Had to figure not everyone who dies was a nice guy.

[pansypoo53219]

46. that 1 is good, but our paper had one of those best death notices. no info other than prose about

the man.

[dflprincess]

48. There is quite a bit more at the link

I need to show this to my nieces, they can model my obit after it.

[SoCalDem]

50. Reminds me of one of my bowlers' eulogy.

He was the vice president..He was only 48 and it was a sudden (and fatal) heart attack.. The only job he had as veep was to collect the quarters..

If you did not strike in the first frame of the 2nd game, you owed a quarter.. Our league was 20 teams of 5 back then, so with 100 people, it was a daunting task when the scoreboard showed that 4 people owed, but there were only 3 quarters there.. He would not leave their lane until he had 4..He was relentless..We all called him "the Quarter Nazi".

At the funeral, the guy who gave the eulogy had most of us chuckling over this story..

There was a tray on the table at the entrance next to the display of photos of him.. and as I left, I saw that people were putting quarters on the tray..

[The Wizard]

54. We all want friends like this. (NT)