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Top 10 Idiots

(597 posts)
Wed Mar 20, 2019, 05:00 PM Mar 2019

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-11: You Commit 16 Crimes, Whaddya Get? Edition

Last edited Thu Mar 21, 2019, 04:11 PM - Edit history (3)


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-11: You Commit 16 Crimes, Whaddya Get? Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! 15 minutes with us can save you 15% or more on your car insurance! We are back everybody! What’s up Atlanta? You guys doing good? It is good to be back here in Hotlanta. Is that still a thing? We hope so, even though it’s below freezing right now. Lousy March weather! And we just left California in time too where I don’t know, it’s 75 degrees and sunny right now. But hey we got shows t to do and crews to feed. Do we have time for the thing? I want to introduce a new segment called “Top 10 Heroes”. And this is my first entry for this segment. It’s short but sweet. That’s how we roll. So you know Fortnite is currently the biggest game in the world. And as such, people have become addicted to it, and when you’re addicted to a game like Fortnite, weird things can happen. It’s sent kids to rehab, there’s been places that have banned it. People have got divorced over it. Although this is my favorite. If you’re Carlos Santa of the Philadelphia Phillies (not to be confused with the other Carlos Santana), you use the resources that are available to you to take your frustrations out on your teammates who were playing the game during games. Yes, he took a baseball bat and smashed a fucking TV in to teach the other Phlilies players a lesson about in game distractions like he was Eli Roth’s character in Inglorious Bastards! So that’s why you don’t play games while you’re playing games! Thank you Mr. Santana, you are our first Top 10 Hero! OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to this week. But first John Oliver is back and he discusses the subject of public shaming with none other than Monica Lewinsky:



Wow, where do we begin this week? Well in the top spot this week is Paul Manafort (1) – the state of New York charged Trump’s former campaign manager with a whopping 16 crimes conspiring to commit treason against the US – meaning that he’s unpardonable. In the second slot this week is Donald Trump (2). Trump didn’t get to enjoy his number one favorite hobby – golfing, so he retreated to his number 2 favorite hobby – angry toilet tweeting! And man he was angry this week! In the third slot this week is something called “Jexodus”. So the GOP is trying to take the Jewish vote away from the Democratic party and it’s backfiring on them big time. Taking the fourth slot this week is Boeing (3) – who’s responsible for the 737 Max 8 fiasco? Well many could point fingers at Trump, and we’ve got some evidence to prove it! In the number 5 slot this week, we got to talk about the epic College Cheating Scandal that has many celebrities and the uber-rich now in the spotlight after it’s learned that cheating is rampant among the rich. For the 6th slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, and this week we’re going to talk some pot. So New Mexico could be the first state in the nation to have legalized, state run marijuana shops, and we will do some due diligence on these and what it will be like once it passes. For the number 7 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and Catholic Church, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do over your defense of Pete Davidson’s SNL joke. Our resident pastor will examine both sides of the argument! In the 7th slot this week, we have a new “How Is This Still A Thing”? And you might not be aware of a band called “JD & The Straight Shot”, but after dropping their latest album, which bombed, and not being booked for any gigs any time soon, how are they still a thing? For the 8th slot this week, we have a new edition of “NO!!!!”. And this is social media gone berserk – really stop taking pictures and Instagramming your restaurant bathroom experience. Some things were not meant to be documented, stop it! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have a new People Are Dumb, because of course people are dumb. And finally this week our quest to find the Stupidest State continues! It’s Round 1 Week 2 and we’re live at the home of the UNLV Running Rebels, the Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas, for the action! It’s a rematch of last year as Nevada’s gambling industry goes for broke against Wisconsin, while Alabama faces off against Oklahoma in a Family Values showdown! Plus we’ve got some live music from The Struts! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Paul Manafort
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We need some music for this one!



You commit 16 crimes, whaddya get? Another day in prison and deeper in debt… St. Donny don’t you call me cause I can’t go… I owe my soul to the Russian store! Doesn’t have the same ring to it, but in case you’re wondering, something that slipped from the cracks in the news last week – Paul Manafort got buuuuuuuuuuuusted!!! And guess what? That number means that Trump can’t pardon him, and let’s face it – we all knew he was going to. Or maybe he’ll just call Manafort a stupid loser and move on, honestly after that insane tweet storm last week it’s hard to tell where he stands. So what is Manafort guilty of?

Paul J. Manafort, President Trump’s former campaign chairman, has been charged in New York with mortgage fraud and more than a dozen other state felonies, the Manhattan district attorney, Cyrus R. Vance, Jr., said Wednesday, an effort to ensure he will still face prison time if Mr. Trump pardons him for his federal crimes.

News of the indictment came shortly after Mr. Manafort was sentenced to his second federal prison term in two weeks; he now faces a combined sentence of more than seven years for tax and bank fraud and conspiracy in two related cases brought by the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III.

The president has broad power to issue pardons for federal crimes, but has no such authority in state cases.

While Mr. Trump has not said he intends to pardon his former campaign chairman, he has often spoken of his power to pardon and has defended Mr. Manafort on a number of occasions, calling him a “brave man.”

Later on Wednesday, the president said, “I feel very badly for Paul Manafort,” and that he had “not thought about” a pardon for him.

The new state charges against Mr. Manafort are contained in a 16-count indictment that alleges a yearlong scheme in which he falsified business records to obtain millions of dollars in loans, Mr. Vance said in a news release after the federal sentencing.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/13/nyregion/manafort-indictment.html




That’s right – we got him!!!! You commit 16 crimes, whaddya get??? Damn that sure is catchy isn’t it? I mean that’s my Tennessee Ernie Ford chunk right there. Yeah we’re keeping up with what the kids like, aren’t we? OK getting back on topic. What is Paul Manafort actually charged with? And you might be outraged that Mr. Manafort only got a slap on the wrist a couple of weeks ago, but if one court doesn’t get him, the other one will!

The Manhattan District Attorney's office on Wednesday unsealed an indictment of former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort, shortly after he was sentenced in a case in a federal court in D.C.

According to the indictment, Manafort was charged with a total of 16 counts in the state of New York, including residential mortgage fraud and other state crimes, and if convicted on all charges could face between just over eight years and 25 years in prison, according to New York state law. The indictment was returned by a grand jury in Manhattan last week but announced on Wednesday moments after Manafort was sentenced to 73 months of imprisonment for illegal foreign lobbying and witness tampering in his D.C. case.

In November, Trump told the New York Post that though a pardon for Manafort had never been discussed, he "wouldn't take it off the table." With the New York District Attorney's charges, even if President Trump pardons Manafort, he still faces a criminal case on the new state charges. Mortgage fraud is not a crime under federal law and therefore there is no double jeopardy issue.
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/paul-manafort-charged-york-mortgage-fraud-york-state/story?id=61657439




Allow me to finish that sentence, sir. Ladies and gentlemen, and a few friends and enemies, the Donald J. Trump administration would like to tell you to go fuck yourself, while at the same time reminding you to MAGA because we need that daily reminder. So now Manafort’s original sentence has been doubled to 7.5 years. How many more years can he get?

It would be hard to think of a more damaging day for a President than one on which his former campaign chairman disappeared behind bars for years to come. But Paul Manafort's new sentence was the least of Donald Trump's worries Wednesday as his Russia investigation nightmare took yet another turn for the worse.

New suspicions about dangled pardons, conflicting congressional testimony, implicit pleas for clemency and fresh suggestions of inappropriate presidential behavior delivered a new twist to the drama with Washington already on edge in anticipation of special counsel Robert Mueller's final report.
A new firestorm erupted over disputed assertions that ex-acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker did not deny in a closed congressional meeting that he had spoken with President Donald Trump about a case involving Trump's ex-lawyer Michael Cohen.

CNN reported explosive new revelations involving Cohen's allegation that a pardon had been dangled in exchange for him staying loyal to the President, in which he was purportedly told he could be sure he had "friends in high places."
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/14/politics/russia-investigation-paul-manafort-michael-cohen-matt-whitaker/index.html




Oh I’ve got friends in high places, where they drink diet cokes and chase subpoenas, to avoid doing hard time, because I can’t think of anything else that rhymes… Yeah you know that feeling you get when you log onto Twitter or Facebook after not being on it all day and then you see something weird trending and you don’t know what it is? It’s kind of like that. But this scenario is more of that thing that action movies do where a character shows up to warn the other characters about how the bad guy is coming and he’s going to kill us all. Yeah Thanos is coming! This is like that but for Trump’s buddies.

The indictment of Paul Manafort by New York state prosecutors on Wednesday is a shot across the bow of the presidency — a warning and possible harbinger of future prosecutions of Donald Trump’s associates, children and even the man himself by the state.

Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance Jr. strongly implied the purpose of the prosecution: It was undertaken to ensure that Manafort, Trump’s former campaign chairman, would serve prison time even if the president were to pardon him of the federal charges to which he has now been convicted. “No one is beyond the law in New York,” Vance said in a news release announcing the indictment.

The timing was directly coordinated with Manafort’s second federal sentencing, in which a judge in Washington increased his prison time to seven-and-a-half years. That’s another indication that Vance wants to use the power of New York State to address a matter that has already been addressed by federal prosecutors.

Until now, there’s been lots of speculation about whether state officials would use criminal law to go where federal charges and investigations might not go, or where they might be thwarted.
https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2019-03-13/paul-manafort-s-new-york-indictment-is-a-warning-to-trump





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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So Donald Trump assures us that he’s the hardest working guy ever. “I’m the hardest working president of all time, nobody has worked harder than I have. It’s time to MAGA, believe me!”. Well when your favorite toy gets taken away from you – golf, what is a guy like Trump supposed to do for fun on the weekends? I know! Retreat to your second favorite toy – angry toilet tweeting! And he must have been backed up because there were a whole slew of angry tweets this weekend, and it might be one of his craziest ever. Someone really needs to tell Trump to turn off the TV and go outside for a while, but we all know he won’t do that. What did he do instead? He tweeted and very angrily at that!

President Trump tweeted 50 times over the weekend, posting 20 times on Saturday, and 30 times on Sunday. Between his first tweets on Saturday morning (clips of Lou Dobbs interviewing Diamond & Silk and a former ICE director) and his last on Sunday night (“MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”), Trump took his followers on a whirlwind tour of his feverish obsession with himself and the media. He praised his own accomplishments, mostly his Friday veto of a congressional resolution terminating his national emergency declaration, and those touting his resolve on cable news. At the same time, he railed against Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation, a Saturday Night Live rerun and the Radical Left Democrats, whom he accused of attempting to rig the 2016 election. On Sunday night, he retweeted a string of conspiracy theorists, capping an unhinged, two-day Twitter bender that would have been concerning if it came from your uncle, much less the president of the United States.

The president’s feed makes it clear that he spent an overlarge part of his weekend planted in front of a TV tuned to Fox News. He tweeted a clips of Lou Dobbs describing the ceremony during which Trump vetoed the congressional resolution to terminate his national emergency declaration as “emotional” and “stirring”; of various Fox News programs bashing the Justice Department for how it handled the investigation of Hillary Clinton’s emails; and of the sheriff of Bristol County, Massachusetts, praising the president’s commitment to “protecting the people of this country.” All standard stuff.

But Trump also went after the network for removing Jeanine Pirro from the air Saturday night. A week earlier, Pirro suggested that Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) is un-American because she is a Muslim who wears a hijab. The comments were condemned by Fox News, which ultimately decided to suspend her program, Justice With Judge Jeanine. The president was not happy. “Bring back @JudgeJeanine Pirro,” he wrote Sunday morning. “The Radical Left Democrats, working closely with their beloved partner, the Fake News Media, is using every trick in the book to SILENCE a majority of our Country.”
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-fox-news-tweets-809375/




You know Trump hates Saturday Night Live so much that we’re going to instead forgo our usual memes and clips during this segment and instead replace them of footage of Alec Baldwin doing his famous Trump imitation! Because that’s how we roll! But that begs the question – why? Why does he have such a hatred toward late night comedy? Well, wait until he gets a hold of this show for one thing! But for now let’s focus on his vendetta with SNL and Stephen Colbert.

Donald Trump is taking his fixation with Saturday Night Live to a new level.

The President tweeted in the early Sunday morning hours a threat to have the NBC late night comedy series investigated by a federal agency. The offense? Mocking him.

“It’s truly incredible that shows like Saturday Night Live, not funny/no talent, can spend all of their time knocking the same person (me), over & over, without so much of a mention of ‘the other side,'” the president wrote. “Like an advertisement without consequences. Same with Late Night Shows. Should Federal Election Commission and/or FCC look into this? There must be Collusion with the Democrats and, of course, Russia! Such one sided media coverage, most of it Fake News. Hard to believe I won and am winning. Approval Rating 52%, 93% with Republicans. Sorry! #MAGA”

Oddly, SNL didn’t even air a new episode last night, but rather a repeat that featured at least one Trump sketch (with Alec Baldwin reprising his role as Trump).
https://ew.com/tv/2019/03/17/trump-threatens-snl-twitter/




Oh and that’s not Alec Baldwin, that’s actual footage of Trump’s appearance on SNL. And we all know how much he hates that clip, so don’t circulate it. Maybe that’s why he hates SNL so much? Well, that aside, what else did he tweet about? Well everything from GM closing their Lordstown, Ohio plant to Democratic rep Omar Ilhan, to John McCain. Yes, John McCain!! Seriously what’s wrong with this guy?

At some point, maintaining your own grip on reality means accepting that the President of the United States has lost his. The man's brain is not good, you see. One way you can tell is that he spent his Sunday going absolutely intergalactic on the Tweet Machine, offering his considered opinion on Fox News' weekend programming, decrying the scourge of Saturday Night Live—which he seemed to accuse of colluding with Russia—and, of course, forwarding some caps-heavy ruminations on the many investigations into him and his associates. Oh, and he also wished folks a Happy St. Patrick's Day, shortly before the party he leads tweeted an attack on Beto O'Rourke linking his 1998 DUI arrest to his Irish ancestry—you know, because the Irish are alcoholic criminals. Some throwback bigotry!

But the cornerstone of the weekend meltdown from Donald Trump, American president, were his complaints about what was coming to him through the TV—the medium that is, without exaggeration, the governing force of his own private reality. He kicked things off with a high-pitched whine about SNL, a comedy show that makes fun of political figures by putting makeup on famous actors and having them read a transcript of what the real person said the week before.

At some point, maintaining your own grip on reality means accepting that the President of the United States has lost his. The man's brain is not good, you see. One way you can tell is that he spent his Sunday going absolutely intergalactic on the Tweet Machine, offering his considered opinion on Fox News' weekend programming, decrying the scourge of Saturday Night Live—which he seemed to accuse of colluding with Russia—and, of course, forwarding some caps-heavy ruminations on the many investigations into him and his associates. Oh, and he also wished folks a Happy St. Patrick's Day, shortly before the party he leads tweeted an attack on Beto O'Rourke linking his 1998 DUI arrest to his Irish ancestry—you know, because the Irish are alcoholic criminals. Some throwback bigotry!

But the cornerstone of the weekend meltdown from Donald Trump, American president, were his complaints about what was coming to him through the TV—the medium that is, without exaggeration, the governing force of his own private reality. He kicked things off with a high-pitched whine about SNL, a comedy show that makes fun of political figures by putting makeup on famous actors and having them read a transcript of what the real person said the week before.
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a26854200/donald-trump-twitter-meltdown-snl-fox-news-jeanine-pirro-qanon/




Yes, that’s actually president Donald Trump doing a monologue on SNL. And by the way in case you’re wondering where this is heading, let’s take a look at Trump’s boss, Vladimir Putin, and the fact that he literally made it a crime to insult him. Why does the dictatorship always attract the fragile ego? They honestly have the most fragile egos of anybody.

President Vladimir Putin signed laws punishing online media and individuals for spreading “fake news” or material that’s considered insulting to Russian officials.

Prosecutors can now complain about online publications to the state communications watchdog, which has powers to block access to the websites if their owners fail to remove the material promptly. Publications found guilty of spreading “unreliable socially significant information” may face fines of as much as 1.5 million rubles ($23,000).

Individuals also face fines and up to 15 days in jail if they publish material online that expresses “clear disrespect for society, the state, the official state symbols of the Russian Federation, the Constitution of the Russian Federation and bodies exercising state power.”

The measures were attacked during their passage through parliament by the Presidential Human Rights Council, which warned of their potential use as methods of repression against critics of the authorities. Putin signed the legislation after thousands of people protested in Moscow earlier this month against Kremlin plans to establish a “Sovereign internet” that would route online traffic mostly through domestic servers and exchanges.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-03-18/insulting-putin-may-now-land-you-in-jail-under-new-russian-law





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[font size="8"]Jexodus
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The latest voter suppression attempt to take away votes from the Democratic party and give them to less deserving conservatives, might be the most batshit crazy thing that they’ve come up with yet. It’s called “Jexodus”. You might have seen the guy who we currently call “president” even endorsing this insane trend. It’s basically a toxic cocktail of all of the GOP’s current favorite things – voter suppression, exile, fearmongering, intimidation tactics, and election stealing. And if you can also guess, anything that Trump touches turns to shit. But really would you expect the party that openly embraces anti-Semitism to welcome Jewish people with open arms? Yeah, we thought so too. So what is Jexodus? Let’s find out.

President Donald Trump on Friday declared that the Republican Party is “waiting with open arms” to welcome Jewish voters who he said are fleeing the "total disrespect" they have been shown by Democrats, whom the GOP has accused of harboring anti-Semitic sentiments.

The president touted the so-called Jexodus movement — which purports to be a grassroots movement aimed at getting Jewish millennials to desert the Democratic Party en masse — following segments on Fox News and the right-wing outlet One America News Network featuring the nascent organization.

“The ‘Jexodus’ movement encourages Jewish people to leave the Democrat Party,” he tweeted. “Total disrespect! Republicans are waiting with open arms. Remember Jerusalem (U.S. Embassy) and the horrible Iran Nuclear Deal!”

Trump has lambasted Democrats as the “anti-Israel” party after a series of comments from freshman Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) about politicians’ support for Israel were deemed by many to be laced with anti-Semitic tropes. Omar’s comments resulted last week in the House overwhelmingly passing a resolution condemning bigotry that some said didn’t go far enough in singling out the Minnesota congresswoman.
https://www.politico.com/story/2019/03/15/trump-jexodus-jewish-republican-1222890




Now just remember that this is a classic Nazi intimidation technique. Accuse that which you are guilty of yourself. Trump is so desperate for just about anything that he’s literally throwing shade on the Democratic relationship with Jewish people! So where did this madness start? Well, like all horrible things, it started at CPAC.

Have you heard about Jexodus, the new, totally laughable “movement” trying to steer millennial Jewish Americans—who are, as its website states, “tired of living in bondage to leftist politics”—away from the Democratic Party and into the arms of Republicans? (Good luck with that, by the way; as my Splinter colleague Rafi Schwartz pointed out, it’s not likely to happen, especially when a vile antisemite is currently occupying the White House.)

Jexodus apparently sprang from the brain of longtime Republican operative Jeff Ballabon, the man who, if you recall, recently called Representative Ilhan Omar “filth.” By the time Ballabon announced the creation of Jexodus at CPAC at the end of February, there was a website, a Twitter account, and one woman listed as its national spokesperson—Elizabeth Pipko, a 23-year-old whom Jexodus’s website describes as an “international model, Trump 2016 campaign staffer, poet, patriot, and fiercely proud millennial Jew.”

On Tuesday, Pipko was a guest on “Fox & Friends,” where she promoted the organization. “We left Egypt, and now we’re leaving the Democratic Party,” Pipko said. It almost immediately led to an approving tweet from Donald Trump:
https://theslot.jezebel.com/meet-the-trump-loving-model-harvard-student-and-poet-1833320654




You’re right Mr. Burgundy, it doesn’t make sense! So why does the GOP want the Jewish vote, why do they care? They won! They have everything they’ve ever possibly wanted – and the first president who accurately displays their values of anger and hatred! Why are they not satisfied? Why do they want more? Well…

President Trump on Friday urged Jewish voters to abandon the Democratic Party in favor of a "Jexodus" to the GOP while touting his administration's record on foreign policy surrounding Israel.

In a tweet, the president pointed to his decision to move the U.S. Embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, as well as his rejection of the Iran nuclear agreement as reasons for American Jews to reconsider support for the Democratic Party.

"The ‘Jexodus’ movement encourages Jewish people to leave the Democrat Party. Total disrespect!" Trump tweeted. "Republicans are waiting with open arms. Remember Jerusalem (U.S. Embassy) and the horrible Iran Nuclear Deal!"

Trump and other Republicans have hammered Democrats over alleged anti-Semitism in their ranks in the weeks following controversial comments made by freshman Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.), who questioned the U.S. relationship with Israel repeatedly in ways that some said were steeped in anti-Semitic tropes.
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/434195-trump-republicans-waiting-with-open-arms-for-jexodus-from




And that is true! If you’re a Jewish person in America, why would you go to the party that openly embraces white supremacism, neo nationalism, and anti-Semitism? Because… owning the liberals, that’s why! The GOP doesn’t care about rule of law anymore, they care about one thing and one thing only – owning the libs. Because, reasons. Will they get any takers? No! Jewish people find this term offensive in and of itself! You get nothing! You lose, good day sir!

When Democrats argued about a House member's comments on Israel and U.S. lawmakers, many saw it as an emerging dispute between the party's old guard and some of its younger members.

President Donald Trump saw it as a political opportunity with Jewish voters.

In tweets, public statements and speeches to supporters, Trump and his aides are trying to use claims of anti-Semitism to pry Jewish voters away from their longtime allegiance to the Democratic Party.

In his latest effort, a Friday morning tweet, Trump said Jewish people were leaving the Democratic Party in what he called a "Jexodus," though he did not cite evidence for such a shift. He said Republicans were "waiting with open arms" for Jewish voters. "Remember Jerusalem (U.S. Embassy) and the horrible Iran Nuclear Deal!" he tweeted.

The phrase "Jexodus" stirred controversy on Twitter with some users calling it offensive to Jewish people.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/03/16/donald-trump-predicts-jexodus-jewish-voters-democrats-say-fantasy/3131536002/





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[font size="8"]Boeing 737 Max 8 SNAFU
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You know we have a policy here at the Top 10 to not joke about tragedy. But since our thing is situational humor, we can make fun of the situation, can’t we? Well, the situation here is not good, especially when it comes to flying lately. In the last year, you’ve had planes crash into houses, freeways, and most recently, not one but two fatal crashes involving Boeing’s 737 Max 8. When something like that happens you immediately want to know who’s responsible. Well, considering that it’s a trillion dollar company like Boeing, and it may or may not involve the FAA, figuring out who’s responsible for this is going to be a clusterfuck. Here’s the latest.
As airlines and safety regulators worldwide scramble to understand why two Boeing 737 Max 8 jets crashed in chillingly similar accidents, more indications are pointing to how an automated anti-stalling system may be linked to the model’s unusually deadly debut.

The safety feature—the Maneuvering Characteristics Augmentation System (MCAS)—appears to have sent both planes into their fatal dives as pilots struggled to keep aloft. The 737 Max 8 and 9 were grounded by regulators around the world last week.

Here are key details that have been reported—most significantly by the Seattle Times—about a series of engineering, regulatory, and political missteps that preceded software being installed on a widely used plane without pilots apparently fully understanding its risks.
New planes, no new training

Boeing designed the 737 Max 8 to be similar enough to existing 737s that it could keep the same “type rating”—meaning, as the Times reported, that pilots who already flew 737s wouldn’t have to be retrained on a new plane and airlines would save a lot of money.
https://qz.com/1575509/what-went-wrong-with-the-boeing-737-max-8/




Holy shit!!! They figured that it would save money on training? That’s like when your company switches over to Windows 10 after being on Windows 7 for years because it requires no training. What the fuck does Cortana do? I’ve had Windows 10 for years and I still don’t fucking know!!! So where does the legal liability lie is the million dollar question.

The fatal crashes of two Boeing Co. 737 Max jets and the fleet’s worldwide grounding have triggered a complicated scramble regarding legal liability involving the manufacturer, airlines and the victims' families.

Boeing’s risks might be rising after a report in the Seattle Times that the company’s safety analysis for the airliner’s new flight control system had crucial flaws. Much of the legal liability depends on the findings of investigators, as well as the contracts Boeing has with airlines that purchased the planes.

But one thing so far appears clear: The families of passengers who perished in the crashes of Ethiopian Airlines Flight 302 on March 10 and Lion Air Flight 610 in October will have strong claims for damages. Questions remain, however, about whether some of those legal cases will be heard in the U.S. or abroad.

“They are in a sense the innocent participants in the whole thing, and it’s really a function of when and how much” the families receive in damages — “and not if,” said Mark A. Dombroff, an attorney with the LeClairRyan law firm in Alexandria, Va., who often represents airlines.
https://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-boeing-737-max-lawsuits-liability-20190318-story.html




Yeah so to recap, Trump says Boeing is a “wonderful company”. By the way, in case you’re wondering how little Trump gets it, he actually tweeted out that airlines are “too complex to fly”. This guy has never flown an airplane in his fucking life! How would he know??? I mean just… oh fuck it, at this point trying to sort out his logic is just too complicated. In fact it might make your head explode.

President Donald Trump and Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenburg spoke by telephone Tuesday, following Trump's tweet about how flying has become too complicated, according to two sources familiar with the conversation.

Muilenburg has talked to Trump frequently and appeared alongside him several times during the first two years of his presidency.

"Airplanes are becoming far too complex to fly. Pilots are no longer needed, but rather computer scientists from MIT. I see it all the time in many products. Always seeking to go one unnecessary step further, when often old and simpler is far better," Trump tweeted.

"Split second decisions are needed, and the complexity creates danger. All of this for great cost yet very little gain. I don't know about you, but I don't want Albert Einstein to be my pilot. I want great flying professionals that are allowed to easily and quickly take control of a plane!" he added.

Trump's tweets come days after a Boeing 737 MAX 8 plane crashed, the second time in months that the new airplane model has wrecked minutes after takeoff, killing all on board. The crashes have raised questions about the role of a new software system installed on the plane, but investigators have yet to reach a conclusion about the cause.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/12/politics/donald-trump-boeing-ceo-dennis-muilenberg/index.html




By the way if you’re wondering what the relationship is with the current Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenberg, and the Trump administration, this is completely not at all shocking. Which is why it took so long for America to condemn the 737 Max 8 where other countries it was pretty much a unanimous no brainer.

Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenberg reportedly put in a call with President Donald Trump on Tuesday to try to convince him not to ground his company’s embattled 737 Max 8 planes after two such models crashed in a matter of months. A number of countries have decided to keep the planes out of the air, but not the United States.

Maybe the US and the Federal Aviation Administration are right to see what investigators find out and take a prudent approach before taking action. But it would be a lot easier to believe that if Boeing weren’t so chummy with Trump.

The relationship between the Trump administration and Boeing has come under increased scrutiny in recent days amid concerns over the safety of one of the manufacturer’s planes. On Sunday, March 10, Ethiopian Airlines flight 302 from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, to Nairobi, Kenya, faltered and crashed soon after taking off, killing all 157 people on board. Just five months before, in October, a Lion Air flight taking off from Jakarta, Indonesia, crashed, killing all 189 passengers. The flights were the same model of planes, the Boeing 737 Max 8.

Multiple countries have grounded the planes, and in the US, there is increased pressure on the FAA to follow suit, including from members of Congress from both sides of the aisle, such as Sens. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), Richard Blumenthal (D-CT), Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), Mitt Romney (R-UT), and Ted Cruz (R-TX).
https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2019/3/13/18263719/boeing-ceo-dennis-muilenburg-trump-tweet-call





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[font size="8"]College Cheating Scandal
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Sadly, the College Cheating Scandal is not the craziest thing that happened this week, and any other week it absolutely would have been #1. This is so insane that we could really do a future edition where we devote all 10 slots to it, or at least 9 slots because we still have Stupidest State to get through. And the College Cheating Scandal really shows the overwhelming divide between America’s rich and poor – America’s rich can simply bribe some sleazebag to fabricate the test numbers, and their idiot offspring will get into the university of their choice, and they won’t take tests or show up to class, they’ll be there to party and get their drink on!

With its toxic blend of arrogance and entitlement, the college admission cheating scandal has touched a deep nerve across the country. But it represents only the most visible inequity in a higher education system that many critics believe now does more to stratify privilege than to expand opportunity.

"From an equity perspective, this is just the tip of the iceberg," says Anthony Carnevale, director of the Center on Education and the Workforce at Georgetown University. "This system is, in many respects, an aristocracy posing as a meritocracy."

As the nation inexorably grows more racially diverse, the higher education system has become a chokepoint to narrowing the gaps in economic opportunity between whites -- particularly those from upper-income families -- and minorities.

Although nonwhites will soon reach a majority of the under-18 population and already constitute a majority of public school K-12 students nationwide, most of them who attend college are still being channeled toward the least selective private and public postsecondary schools operating with the least resources. Meanwhile, whites still fill most of the seats at the most selective institutions, which spend the most on their students.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/19/politics/college-education-scandal-inequality-higher-education/index.html




Look, look, look. Here my whole thing. So the college cheating scandal touched a huge nerve in this country and put the spotlight on a huge problem in this country. The “great divide” is not between the left and the right. It’s between the rich and the poor. So what are some of the more bizarre details?

It doesn't necessarily take admissions officers long to figure out if an applicant has a fighting chance at getting into one of the country's top schools, according to one former officer.

"We see so many transcripts that, in about a third of a second, we can tell what type of trajectory the student is on," said McGreggor Crowley, the former director of undergraduate selection at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

That's not to say admissions officers generally make snap judgments. In interviews this week, the ex-admissions officers said their former colleagues comb through stacks of applications, pore over essays, scrutinize GPAs and try to help campuses winnow a vast pool of applicants to a select few.

They are the gatekeepers of what has become a deeply competitive — and, for many, a deeply unequal — process for high school students. The most esteemed schools extend invitations to only a tiny fraction of applicants — sometimes the admit rate is in the single digits or low teens — and some privileged families shell out thousands for test prep services, essay editors and private counselors.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/college-cheating-scandal-two-ex-admissions-officers-explain-behind-scenes-n983796




Yeah they didn’t think of the children when they went about and bribed sleazebags to take tests for them. Well, it did have its’ consequences for the parents. I’m sure by now you have all heard that the Hallmark Channel cut ties with one of its’ stars Laurie Laughlin over this scandal.

The fallout has begun for actress Lori Loughlin in the wake of her arrest this week for her alleged ties to a college admissions scandal, and for her daughter Olivia Jade Giannulli.

Loughlin was fired Thursday from the Hallmark Channel, on which she has been a staple, and beauty retailer Sephora announced hours earlier it has ended its partnership with Giannulli, who is a social media influencer.

"We are saddened by the recent news surrounding the college admissions allegations," the parent company of the Hallmark Channel said in a statement. "We are no longer working with Lori Loughlin and have stopped development of all productions that air on the Crown Media Family Network channels involving Lori Loughlin including Garage Sale Mysteries, an independent third party production."
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/lori-loughlin-s-daughter-olivia-jade-loses-sephora-partnership-wake-n983331





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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: State Run Pot
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!



Marijuana is more popular than ever. So much that many states have voted to overturn marijuana laws that have been on the books for nearly a century. One such state – the State Of New Mexico – could become one of America’s first states to have legalized marijuana stores run by the state. With that, comes many questions. What would that be like? What would that entail? And is it really cool if the man does it? Well the answers are yes, no, and yes. In fact New Mexico’s brush with legalized marijuana could set a precedent for the entire country to follow. While it was unsuccessful this time, who knows what is in store?

A bill aiming to legalize and regulate marijuana in New Mexico had a lot of momentum but doesn’t appear to be on its way to becoming law this session.

While the 2019 session ended at noon on Saturday, New Mexico House Bill 356, or the “Cannabis Regulation Act,” is expected to die in the Senate, stuck in committee.

While that bill passed a full House vote and had broad support from Democrats in the Senate, the Senate Finance Committee has yet to schedule the bill for a committee discussion or vote.

“It’s basically boiling down to whether or not the Senate Finance Committee and Senator (John Arthur) Smith wants to give it a hearing," said Democrat House Speaker Brian Egolf during an interview with reporters this week.
https://www.krqe.com/news/politics-government/nm-marijuana-legalization-effort-unlikely-to-pass-in-2019-session/1853428170




But while that passed, New Mexico still could become one of the latest states to legalize marijuana, joining others like California, Washington, and Colorado. While pro-legalization advocates were defeated this time, there’s hope that it will pass after next year’s election.

Lawmakers can expect to take up a proposal next year to make New Mexico the 11th state in the nation to legalize recreational marijuana.

Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham said she will add the issue to the agenda of the 2020 legislative session.

It’s a 30-day session, so the governor has some power to set the agenda.

A bipartisan proposal to legalize recreational cannabis through state-run stores narrowly won House approval this year but stalled in the Senate. It was the first time a recreational marijuana bill passed a chamber of the state Legislature.
https://www.abqjournal.com/1292850/recreational-marijuana-will-be-back-in-2020-session.html




So what would going to a state run marijuana store look like? It would look like your stores that you see in states like Colorado and California, where they have everything from different blends of marijuana, to chocolate and candy edibles of different varieties. But in a state run store, weed would be taxed just like any other drug.

New Mexico would become the first U.S. state to set up its own government-operated marijuana stores and subsidize medical cannabis for the poor under a bill brokered between Republicans and Democrats, as a new wave of states weighs legislation that would legalize recreational sales and consumption.

The idea for state-run pot shops comes from a trio of GOP state senators who broke with local Republican Party orthodoxy to embrace legal marijuana with a decidedly big-government approach that would have the state directly oversee most sales — and require that marijuana consumers carry receipts of purchase or confront penalties.

Those provisions were sown into Democrat-sponsored legislation that contains currents of social justice, including a provision to subsidize medical cannabis for poor people with “debilitating medical conditions” who might not otherwise be able to afford treatment. Tax dollars from recreational marijuana sales would fund employment and counseling programs in communities “disproportionately affected by past federal and state drug policies,” including training to enter the marijuana sector.
https://www.governing.com/topics/finance/State-Run-Pot-Shops-Bill-Could-Make-New-Mexico-First-in-the-US.html




However, even as marijuana and marijuana culture is becoming more and more legal by the day, there’s still an illegal side to it. In fact what is that like working on both sides of the spectrum? We go to Santa Ana, California, where there is an abundance of legalized marijuana, but the shady side of the business still runs rampant.

Technically, the marijuana shops in Santa Ana and Costa Mesa are on opposite sides of the law.

Santa Ana allows cannabis retailing, so the city welcomes and collects tax money from some 18 licensed cannabis stores in the city’s boundaries. Costa Mesa doesn’t, and it would like to shut down the eight rogue shops in town that are selling weed in defiance of state and local law.

But the distinction between many of these shops — and between legal and illegal marijuana shops throughout Southern California — is far from black and white.

Many illicit shops sell products also offered in legal shops, even though licensed cannabis farmers, manufacturers and distributors can’t legally peddle their goods in unlicensed shops.

Some of the underground shops are owned by people who also have stakes in legal stores, with the owners using a complex scheme of limited partnerships and proxy owners — sometimes called “go to jail guys” — to hide their dual roles.
https://www.ocregister.com/2019/03/15/legal-illegal-some-players-still-work-both-sides-of-state-marijuana-industry/




Legal or illegal, marijuana is more popular than ever and it looks to sweep the country in the 2020 elections as one of the biggest issues of the day. What’s happening now is just the begging, expect big things in the future. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Atlanta, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:



My fair congregation! When a story involving religion so dominates a news cycle we have to talk about it, because that’s what we are here for. Now, we’ve traditionally avoided talking about the horrible abuse scandals in the Catholic Church, because my employers say that you can’t joke about tragedy like that. But when the story involving a joke aimed at the Catholic Church’s abuse scandal draws scorn from both sides, how do we address it? And Saturday Night Live is a show that is under fire from republicans and religious folks who claim the show doesn’t represent their values. Now does everything? Well the Catholic Church can go fuck itself, that much is true. But what did Pete Davidson say, exactly?

Pete Davidson is in hot water for making a controversial joke about the Catholic Church on "Saturday Night Live."

"If you support the Catholic Church, isn't that the same thing as, like, being an R. Kelly fan?" Davidson asks. "I don't really see the difference, only one's music is significantly better."

But the remark wasn't funny to the Church's Diocese of Brooklyn, which is now demanding a public apology from the series.

“The mockery of this difficult time in the Church’s history serves no purpose," the lengthy statement from the Diocese of Brooklyn read in part. "The clergy sex abuse crisis is shameful, and no one should ever get a laugh at the expense of the victims who have suffered irreparably. The Diocese of Brooklyn strives every day to ensure that sexual abuse by clergy never happens again."

The statement concludes: "The insensitivity of the writers, producers, and the cast of 'SNL' around this painful subject is alarming."

Neither Davidson nor "SNL" have responded to the Church's comments.
https://www.insideedition.com/pete-davidson-hot-water-catholic-church-over-sex-abuse-jokes-51349




Yeah so… indulge me for a minute here, my fair congregation. R. Kelly is a very ungodly man who committed a lot of very SAYNFUL and very unlawful acts and is someone who is probably going to jail for a very long time. But he’s not a Catholic priest. So he can’t face Vatican justice, which is he’ll just get moved to another city. But Mr. Davidson brings up a good point! I mean really, are we shocked at Catholic church jokes at this point? They are, but I don’t think we are!

Documentaries containing detailed sex abuse allegations against R. Kelly and Michael Jackson have shaken the foundations of the music industry, and last weekend's Saturday Night Live addressed the fallout in a "Weekend Update" segment featuring Pete Davidson.

Davidson began his segment saying he believed the allegations against Kelly, who is facing ten counts of aggravated criminal sexual assault against four victims between 1998 and 2010. "This guy is a monster, and he should go to jail forever," Davidson said. He then went on to compare Kelly's diehard fandom to the Catholic Church, an institution which continues to faces allegations of systemic child abuse. “If you support the Catholic church, isn’t that the same thing as being an R. Kelly fan? I don’t really see the difference — only one’s music is significantly better.”

His monologue riffed on the difficulties in canceling figures as important to the culture as Kelly and Jackson, and offered an amusing fix:

“Pretending these people never existed is maybe not the solution. The rule should be…you could appreciate their work, but you only if you admit what they did. You can buy a Mustang, but you have to say, ‘Henry Ford hated the Jews’ as you buckle in. The full sentence should be ‘Mark Wahlberg beat up an old Asian dude, and I would like one ticket to Daddy’s Home 3 please.’ Because if it’s that important to you, at least own it. I don’t ever need to see a Kevin Spacey movie again but if the CEO of Swisher Sweets turns out to be a cannibal, I can’t just change my whole life.”
https://www.thefader.com/2019/03/11/saturday-night-live-pete-davidson-r-kelly-catholic-church




By the way, how great is our gospel choir? Give it up for them? Can I get an amen??? Yes, should Saturday Night Live and Pete Davidson apologize for their jokes? Should any comedian apologize for their material? If they did, we in the comedy profession would all be out of a job! But the humorless, who often don’t get the joke, force the people who have a sense of humor to apologize.

The past six months have been eventful for “Saturday Night Live” cast member Pete Davidson. From the coverage of his relationship and breakup with pop singer Ariana Grande to comments mocking a veteran running for Congress to an Instagram post that suggested he is suicidal, the 25-year-old has made headlines in the New York Times and PerezHilton.com.

Davidson on Saturday drew more attention for comments deemed offensive by the Roman Catholic Church.

During a “Saturday Night Live” Weekend Update segment, Davidson discussed the similarities between singer R. Kelly’s sexual abuse case and the Catholic Church’s history of sexual abuse scandals.

“If you support the Catholic Church, isn’t that like the same thing as being an R. Kelly fan? I don’t really see the difference, except for one’s music is significantly better,” Davidson said.

In a statement Monday, the Diocese of Brooklyn demanded “an immediate public apology from ‘Saturday Night Live’ and NBC after Saturday night’s disgraceful and offensive skit.”
http://en.brinkwire.com/news/catholic-church-calls-for-apology-from-snl-after-pete-davidson-joke/




And neither do we! But really, why is the Catholic Church so invested in this? And I mean really, they have access to the internet, have they ever done a search for themselves? Oh, we have, good sir! And we can rest assured that Mr. Davidson’s joke is relatively tame compared to some of those out there that we’ve seen!

After Pete Davidson compared the Catholic Church to R. Kelly on last week’s Saturday Night Live, Church leaders — including Pope Francis — demanded a public apology. “Apparently, the only acceptable bias these days is against the Catholic Church,” they said in a statement.

It’s ironic that the Church — which has long opposed liberal policies like promoting LGBTQ rights and a woman’s right to choose — is suddenly up in arms over Pete Davidson’s use of free speech. They had no problem with free speech when the Pope claimed the institution of the family was under attack by marriage equality advocates, for which the LGBTQ community never got an apology.

In its overblown response, the Church tries to portray itself as the victim. We’re supposed to believe Davidson’s joke about the Church’s long history of covering up sexual abuse was made on the basis of some “bias.”

This purported bias isn’t even against Catholics, but against the Church. That’s right, we’re supposed to feel bad for a corrupt, monolithic institution that refuses to acknowledge its own biases against anyone who isn’t a proper, cisgender, heterosexual Catholic.
https://oberlinreview.org/18332/opinions/the-catholic-church-doesnt-deserve-an-apology/




Yes, their souls will most likely be eaten!!! Mass has ended, may you go in peace!!! That’s it this week for:




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OMG!!! Instagram went down this week! What are you crazy out of your minds???? AHHH!!!! I cant go five minutes without getting likes! You might be the type of person who wants to catalog and share everything online that’s ever been shared before, but some things are just not meant to be shared. Like your restaurant bathroom experience. We do not need to see pictures of you in the restroom! Stop it, people. Just stop it. I don’t know about you, but I am of the male gender. Shocking, I know. But as a man, I have been in some stank ass bathrooms in my life. Usually, my first thought is not to hang around, but to get the fuck out of there as quickly as possible. But thanks to selfie culture, we now have to worry about idiots hanging around and posing for pictures in front of mirrors. This has gone completely berserk! Yes, people are hanging around bathrooms and taking pictures to get likes on Instagram. And really, stop it people, just stop it!

The New York City restaurant Motel Morris, which opened its doors last April, closely resembles a 1950s motel. Tamara McCarthy, who owns the restaurant with her husband and a childhood friend, wanted patrons to feel like they were sitting in a classic American diner. A graphic designer, McCarthy expected customers would be enamored of the old-school touches like authentic family photos on the walls, vintage diner plates and napkins, and dishes like “meatloaf and mash.” Instead, she was surprised to find that they were the most taken with its bathroom.

She told me that a few weeks after the restaurant opened, waitstaff began notifying her out of concern: People who went to the bathroom were taking their time.

“We believe some people didn’t even have to go to the bathroom but just wanted to stay inside and take photos,” she says with a laugh.

McCarthy had designed the bathroom to look it belonged in someone’s grandmother’s house five decades ago. It’s completely covered in floral wallpaper and pink tile, and features pink props like vintage motel lounge chairs, an old hair dryer, and a mounted telephone, courtesy of a bartender who likes to collect old trinkets.
https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/1/3/18159301/bathrooms-for-instagram-luxury-bathrooms




No people!! Stop it!!! We don’t need bathroom selfies, OK? This is one trend that really needs to go away and go away now. And this trend has really got to chafe restaurant owners because now they’re struggling to keep up the design of their bathrooms in order to make them “Instagram-worthy”, whatever that is, to attract customers.

There is a new brand of customer moving the restaurant industry away from function over form; guests who want a photographable moment — even in the rest room.

For many restaurants, this has resulted in a wave of experiential restrooms that have achieved Instagram fame — sometimes outshining the restaurant’s food, drink or dining room — and designers have taken note.

At the vegan fast-casual concept By Chloe, based in New York, for example, the design of restaurants has been embraced as a key point of differentiation.

“We noticed that some vegan restaurants had a signature look with more of a darker color scheme and woodsy feel to them, and we wanted to be different,” said founder Samantha Wasser.

Focusing on each location individually rather than multiplying their original design across all units, Wasser said she “wants the bathrooms to have a ‘wow’ moment.

“For each bathroom, we select two different wallpapers — one for the walls, one for the ceiling — and not one bathroom has ever been the same,” she said.
https://www.restaurant-hospitality.com/design/setting-instagram-stage-restroom




Yeah… remember the simpler times when people used to go into a bathroom and I don’t know… actually use it? And the worst thing we had to endure was running out of toilet paper? Now we have to deal with people posing for selfies. And it gets worse! So much worse! If you really want to see who the most obnoxious people in the restaurant are, you don’t need to go any further than New York City to see where this is heading.

Do you have an appetite for Social Media?

In a city known for its dearth of high-end red meat options, you might think the arrival of a new luxury steakhouse would be big news. But at the just opened downtown location of Boston Chops, the real star may well turn out to be the $10,000 custom furniture the owners are calling “the first and only Instagram table in the country.”

Created and built exclusively for the restaurant, the table boasts customizable features including moveable arm lights, adjustable light intensities and adjustable color temperature settings. To make sure they got it right, owners Chris Coombs and Brian Piccini met with social media “influencers,” (though to be honest, most of the ones I’ve met traveling don’t influence anyone), architects and photographers to create a space where anyone wanting to post food photos on social media will get the perfect picture every time. The table is available for reservation by request, and there are also “Instagrammable moments” throughout the establishment that include design components, art, signs, and backgrounds for photos that have all been made for social media.

“Social media is a big part of the dining scene today and we didn’t have to think about it when we opened Boston Chops South End five years ago,” said Coombs (via release). “Now, it is imperative that photos of restaurant interior and food are beautiful when they are posted online by influencers. It is a great marketing tool for people to see our food, décor and cocktails and hopefully entice them to check it out for themselves.”
https://www.forbes.com/sites/larryolmsted/2018/06/03/first-restaurant-instagram-table-in-u-s-opens/#48782a10263a




Just go and eat the food damn it! Not everything needs to be a documented experience! Argh, fuck Instagram. Oh and I almost forgot, that reminds me – be sure to follow the new Top 10 Instagram account at @10Idiots! And by the way, this has caused people to channel their inner George Costanza and start actually reviewing the bathrooms at restaurants. Now this is a trend I can get behind!

You feel flush, so you want to dine out. You desire a restaurant that serves excellent food and provides hospitable service.

But you also deserve a clean bathroom.

The City of Boston publicizes health inspection data, so it’s easy enough to find reports of dirty kitchens or untended food. But what about toilets? A clean, soothing restroom can make a meal complete — just as a filthy one can lead a customer to question what else might be left to chance.

Enter Toilets of Boston, a new Instagram account that meticulously ranks local loos on a five-point scale for factors including cleanliness, ambiance, and utilities. Each post features a photo of the toilet in question, as well as a wider shot of the lavatory’s atmosphere (or lack thereof). The account focuses on restaurants, with an occasional detour to a spa or tourist attraction.
https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/food-dining/2018/09/10/toilets-boston-instagram-ranks-local-restaurant-loos-you-don-have/fl26bCx0mAdRI94JRZE6dJ/story.html





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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!



Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. I want to start with this story out of South Carolina where a guy took his Taco Bell order just a little too seriously. Look, look. We travel a lot here and as such we eat a lot of fast food. I know that you have a problem when somebody fails to get your order right. I get that. What I don’t get… do we really need this guy walking behind the counter and making his own food? This is about as insane as someone calling 911 because McDonalds ran out of chicken nuggets.

According to cops, the suspect entered the Taco Bell in Spartanburg Wednesday afternoon complaining that “there was not enough meat on his Mexican pizza.” A store employee told cops that she “re-made the suspect’s food.”

The man, however, was equally displeased with his second pizza and demanded a refund. When told that was not possible since a manager was not on the premises, the suspect became “enraged,” declaring that he “would show the employees how to make his food the appropriate way,” according to a police report.

The man then “walked behind the counter into the kitchen area and began making his own food.” A Taco Bell worker noted that the suspect “did not follow proper health/safety guidelines” by not wearing “protective gloves while making his food.”

The Taco Bell employee said the suspect “made himself another Mexican pizza and subsequently left the store and premises.” The man, the worker said, “was angry and upset throughout his time in the facility” and used foul language in response to her repeated demands to leave the Taco Bell.
http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/man-storms-taco-bell-709254




Next up, it’s 5:00 somewhere, people. So we go to my home state of California for this story. This happened at a Target in San Jorquin. Yeah so here’s the thing – department store dressing rooms aren’t exactly made for hanging around in. And they’re definitely not made to drink in. I definitely wouldn’t be combining the two.

It’s always 5 o’clock somewhere — and for one woman, the right time for beer apparently occurred in a Target dressing room.

Elysia Johnson, 21, was arrested after she drank a six-pack of beer in a Target dressing room in California on Saturday, police say.

According to Lathrop Police Services, Johnson entered Target around 3:30 p.m. and placed several items in a shopping cart and basket.

Johnson walked around the store, grabbed a six-pack of Stella Artois beer, and headed to the dressing room.

For over an hour, cops say, she made the dressing room her personal bar and drank the entire six-pack of beer.
https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-news-woman-arrested-drinking-beer-target-dressing-20190311-story.html




Next up – we go to Minneapolis for this story. Look, we get trying to be a good Samaritan here. But in this case it was the case of a good Samaritan gone horribly, horribly wrong. And by the way I will take this opportunity to say – “fuck the My Pillow guy”.

A Good Samaritan thought they were potentially saving someone’s life in Jordan, Minnesota this week.

However, all they wound up doing was preventing a piece of advertising from getting exposed to the elements.

Jordan Police said on Thursday that they received a rescue call from someone looking to facilitate assistance for a “deranged person standing outside in the cold hugging a pillow.”

Officers who responded to the welfare check noted the figure, which a caller said was standing motionless, wearing no coat.

Investigating officers discovered the person in question was really a life-size cardboard cutout of Mike Lindell, the CEO for local company MyPillow.
https://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2019/03/01/deranged-person-holding-pillow-turns-out-to-be-cardboard-standee-of-mypillow-ceo/




That’s a good question! Don’t really have an answer for that one! Next up of course we can’t have a segment of “People Are Dumb” without mentioning our good friends Florida Man and Florida Woman, because you know the Sunshine State is *ALWAYS* batshit fucking crazy. And remember that show from a few years back called “Trading Spouse” and that one crazy woman who claimed that everything was ungodly? Well, this woman might be her cousin.

A woman was arrested after stealing an SUV from an Ace Rent-a-Car.

WJXT reports that Gardina McCullough, 23 appeared in court Friday morning on car theft charges, with a bond set at $15,003.

McCullough was arrested after stealing a Toyota RAV4 from an Ace Rent-A-Car.

She was found less than a mile away, hiding at a hotel.

On the scene, McCullough told a local news station, "Demons told me to do it...I didn't take it, demons took it."
https://abc7ny.com/florida-woman-claims-demons-told-her-to-steal-rental-car/5180081/




Yeah neither do we! Finally this week, remember that Samuel L. Jackson movie “Snakes On A Plane” from a few years back? Yeah neither do we. But how… who… what… how does this woman fly from Australia to Scotland without knowing that a snake is in her shoe??? Just… WTF???

'Snake on a plane goes 9,300 miles from Australia to Scotland in woman's shoe.' Holidaymaker shocked to see stowaway python in her slip-ons on return from Queensland. The Guardian, Feb. 25, 2019. As souvenirs go, it is a unique one. A woman has returned to Scotland from a holiday in Australia to discover a stowaway snake hidden in one of her shoes. In an incident that will confirm the worst fears of visitors to Australia, Moira Boxall unpacked her luggage after the more than 9,300-mile journey from Queensland to find the small and very much alive creature curled up in her slip-ons. It even shed its skin during its voyage in her footwear. The resilient reptile – later identified as a non-venomous spotted python, a breed commonly kept as a pet – travelled safely from Mackay to Glasgow, reported the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/feb/25/snake-plane-australia-scotland-shoe




That’s it this week for:





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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Round 1 Week 2
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16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!



Welcome back to the Round 1 Week 2 action! We’re here in Las Vegas at the home of the UNLV Running Rebels, the Thomas & Mack Center, for all the 1st round action action action!!! To recap last week, Oregon stunned the crowd with their last second 3 pointer against favorites Idaho, while Kentucky easily routed Maine by a whopping 24 points to advance to the Batshit finals! This week it’s a rematch from last year as the juggernaut of the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, Wisconsin, takes on perennial favorites Nevada (hey! That’s where we are!) in a showdown to see who can go for broke. Meanwhile in match #2, we are going to see a battle of the Bible Thumpers as long time conference favorite Indiana takes on veteran Mississippi to see who can be the king of the Jesus crowd! Who will win and who will go home? We go live to the action! Also time to break out those brackets!



[font size="4"]Wisconsin Vs Nevada[/font]

[font size="4"]Wisconsin[/font]


The state known as America’s Dairyland certainly needs no introduction. Their credentials for being the reigning king of the Fiscal Irresponsibility conference are unparalleled. Much of the state including their state level officials are sponsored by the various farming corporations that are there, as well as their senators including former senator Paul Ryan. But most recently this state has been in the news a lot because they got Art Of The Deal’d by the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump. Foxconn is coming, you guys! And yes, those groans are perfectly acceptable. Because it’s *THAT* Foxconn – the company responsible for things like worker suicide nets! Welcome to your new nightmare, Wisconsin!

Foxconn Technology Group said Monday that the next phases of construction on its announced flat-screen plant in Racine County will begin by this summer.

The plant — a “Gen 6” liquid crystal display panel factory, or “fab” — will begin production in the fourth quarter of 2020, the company said.

The announcement follows talks last week between state and local officials and Louis Woo, special assistant to Foxconn founder and CEO Terry Gou.

Woo’s visit to Wisconsin came six weeks after reports that Foxconn might not locate a factory in Mount Pleasant after all — reports that prompted President Donald Trump to contact Gou, with the company on Feb. 1 subsequently renewing its earlier pledge to build a manufacturing plant.
https://www.jsonline.com/story/money/business/2019/03/18/foxconn-says-move-forward-flat-screen-factory-summer/3202103002/




That is a good point, Mr. Burns! So yeah after months and a year of back and forth “will they or wont they”, Wisconsin is finally seeing the light on Foxconn. And that’s not necessarily a good thing given Foxconn’s human rights violations! So just how bad will this deal get?

Wisconsin policymakers have a vexing challenge this session: what should they do about the Incredible Shrinking Foxconn project? It’s especially a problem for Republican legislators because they not only approved the huge subsidies for Foxconn, but they also passed a bill during the lame duck session that gives themselves control of the Wisconsin Economic Development Corporation (WEDC) for the next couple of years. With that power comes increased responsibility for the difficult Foxconn situation.

Mounting evidence creates serious doubts that Foxconn will build a factory or other sort of enterprise in Racine County that comes anywhere close to the employment levels that Foxconn and the project’s backers promised. Some have suggested that the best thing for state taxpayers might be for Foxconn to pull the plug on the deal, but in light of the substantial public and private expenditures that have been made, efforts will presumably be made to keep the project alive.

As state and local policymakers and the general public consider the options, it’s important to understand the terms of the deal Wisconsin entered into with Foxconn. Here are five key issues to be aware of regarding the state’s contract with Foxconn:
https://urbanmilwaukee.com/2019/02/23/wisconsin-budget-5-key-problems-with-foxconn-contract/




[font size="4"]Nevada[/font]


The gambling industry needs no introduction as well, and they were busy in the off season adding some fresh young talent who will help them tank their economy. Yes, the state may be called “The Silver State” but there’s a serious lack of silver and gold in the state that gave us Las Vegas and such movies as The Hangover, Ocean’s 11, Showgirls, Rat Race, Dodgeball, and Honeymoon In Vegas. You might scream “Viva Las Vegas” at the top of your lungs, but as you leave, you will be going for broke, just as the state itself is doing!

Legislative budget committee members questioned Nevada school officials Tuesday on plans to tie $54 million to revenue from the tax on recreational marijuana purchases that could fluctuate as more states legalize sales.

Lawmakers from the Senate and Assembly budget committees also got a top-level review of the two-year, $3.2 billion basic K-12 schools budget, including proposed 2 percent merit pay increases and 3 percent cost-of-living increases for teachers and other employees, as well as detail on plans to nearly double spending on a program to help struggling students.

School safety is a new standalone budget category. It follows on recommendations of a task force whose final report was issued in November and covers spending in five areas: school social workers, safety resource/police officers; building safety enhancements, new learning programs for social and emotional development, and staff support. The overall budget is about $76 million over two years, reflecting $22.4 million now spent on school social workers and $54 million in new spending.

“What we hope you see is that this is a multi-tiered approach to school safety that looks at prevention, intervention and recovery very holistically,” Christy McGill, director of the Nevada schools’ Office for a Safe and Respectful Learning Environment, told lawmakers.

Read more: https://www.reviewjournal.com/news/politics-and-government/2019-legislature/officials-ask-if-marijuana-taxes-can-sustain-54m-for-nevada-school-safety-1600805/




Yes the state is currently so poor that they are actively trying to seek taxes from the legalization of marijuana to pay for the public schools. Oh man can you imagine getting stoned in Vegas legally? It will be like the Hangover but a million times worse! Although if times really get tough, Nevada does have Las Vegas and the Super Bowl. At least we know where the money goes!

The lowest-scoring game in Super Bowl history might produce the highest betting handle ever at Nevada sportsbooks.

A late flurry of money poured in on the Rams and Patriots before Super Bowl LIII, including at least three $1 million-plus wagers, giving bookmakers reason to believe the total amount wagered in the state could eclipse last year’s record of $158.6 million.

“The handle is going to be up there,” MGM Resorts sportsbook director Jay Rood said Sunday night after New England’s 13-3 win over Los Angeles.

“It will probably be a 10 percent increase. If every (other book) was pacing the same way as us, it should set a record.”

Read more: https://www.reviewjournal.com/sports/betting/books-expect-record-handle-from-lowest-scoring-super-bowl-1589194/




[font size="4"]And the winner is… [/font]

Oh this one is a no brainer, Wisconsin handily knocks off Nevada by a final score of 67 – 59. Sorry, Silver State, you will just have to beef up your rotation for next year!

[font size="4"]Indiana Vs Oklahoma[/font]

[font size="4"]Indiana[/font]


The Hoosier State is back for their second consecutive year proudly representing the Family Values Conference! In this conference, you can be guaranteed that the Bible will be thumped louder and harder than just about any other state in the union. And it reflects in the politicians that they vote for both on the state and the national level. It’s the state that gave us current Vice President and the guy who secretly asks if it puts the lotion in the basket, Mike Pence! And how does the Hoosier State make its’ claim to fame as the state where the most Jesus freaks reside? Well, just take a look at how difficult it is to buy booze.

Two influential Indiana Republicans have bought into a business whose lobby has for years kept cold beer out of grocery stores and other retail outlets, a move that is raising conflict-of-interest questions involving the industry's clout at the Statehouse.

The package liquor store lobby has successfully convinced lawmakers to take actions in its favor, most notably stopping the expansion of cold beer sales to grocery stores, convenience stores and pharmacies, despite the fact polls have consistently shown most Hoosiers want that measure to pass.

Kyle Hupfer, the state GOP chairman, and Nate Feltman, commerce secretary under former Gov. Mitch Daniels and co-owner of the Indianapolis Business Journal, have joined a venture as minority partners with Indiana Liquor Group to purchase Save-on Liquor, a chain of 31 stores in north-central Indiana. They and Republican lawmakers say the purchase won't create an uneven playing field in the General Assembly.

While it's perfectly legal in Indiana for party officials such as Hupfer to have private investments, industry leaders and political experts say the fear is Republican lawmakers will vote for legislation in ways that would help their political allies.

Read more: https://www.indystar.com/story/news/politics/2019/02/03/where-can-you-buy-cold-beer-indiana-fears-deepen-wont-grocery-stores/2730802002/




And by the way in case you’re wondering about Indiana’s hardcore Trumpism, well, it’s beginning to tread heavily into the “insane” category. And really on this one, where’s Jake and Elwood when you need them?

Once again, a pack of high schoolers has been caught giving what appears to be the Nazi salute and posting the picture to social media, reports the Indianapolis Star.

The students appear to attend Zionsville Community High School, which is investigating the incident. The photo was shot in the school auditorium and several of the teenagers are wearing Zionsville jerseys, the “Rumblin’ Bumblers” soccer team.

A student sent the photo to a teacher, who alerted the school superintendent Scott Robison. Robison called the picture “sickening.”

“Our school community’s efforts to foster cultural understanding will proceed, though they are set back mightily by this repugnant image,” Robison added.

Read more: https://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/2019/01/sickening-new-photo-emerges-of-indiana-high-school-boys-giving-nazi-salute/




[font size="4"]Mississippi[/font]


Of course Mississippi’s state flag is a nod to the Confederacy. Yes, the Magnolia State is no stranger to hardcore religion and even harder core religious laws. The Magnolia State may be home to some elite universities, but they’re also home to some hardcore religion, hardcore racism, and extreme totalitarianism. In fact, Mississippi’s uber-religious want to rule this country with an iron fist, and the Trump administration has practically given them a free backstage pass to pull strings from inside the White House. Just how old school is the mighty Mississippi? Well they’re bringing back a medieval style “do not pass go” for abortions!

Mississippi is trying to revive one the most restrictive abortion laws in the nation.

The state's Democratic attorney general, Jim Hood, filed a notice of appeal Monday in support of a Mississippi law that would ban most abortions after 15 weeks.

The law was signed in March by Republican Gov. Phil Bryant, and the state's only abortion clinic immediately sued the state. U.S. District Judge Carlton Reeves issued a temporary injunction the next day to prevent the state from enforcing the law. Then he issued a more extensive ruling Nov. 20, finding that the law "unequivocally" violates women's constitutional rights.

Hood will ask the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to overturn Reeves' decision about the constitutionality of the law. Hood has said other federal circuits have reviewed laws banning abortion at 15 to 20 weeks, but the 5th U.S. Circuit hasn't yet reviewed such a case.
https://hosted.ap.org/dailycourier/article/151787c6a0bc4594938e3ed567dfd2b5/mississippi-appeal-seeks-revive-15-week-abortion-ban




Thank you Moe! They clearly don’t! And by the way in case you’re wondering what kind of family values the Magnolia State brings to the table, well, they bring some hardcore racism and old school confederate values! Yes, they still hang on to the confederacy. Where’s General Cartman when you need him?

Members of Confederate 901 and The Hiwaymen say they are marching to "draw a line in the sand" on Saturday against the university for the removal of Confederate symbols. The groups are calling the event the Mississippi Stands Rally. George "K-Rack" Johnson is with Confederate 901. In a Facebook Live video, Johnson says that students, faculty, and staff at the university should not be afraid that they are coming to town.

“We’re not coming to Oxford or the university to cause any trouble,” said Johnson. “We’re trying to just come in there and show that there’s lots of people throughout the state of Mississippi and the South that still believe and support their southern pride, and their history, and their heritage.”

Johnson also says there is no evidence that the pro-Confederate supporters are racist or affiliated with white supremacist groups.

Jody Owens is with the Southern Poverty Law Center. The nonprofit organization focuses on erasing hate and teaching tolerance. Owens says it's sad that a group will come to a place in Mississippi with such a deep history of racial inequity and hatred and protest about Confederate monuments.

Read more: http://www.mpbonline.org/blogs/news/2019/02/22/pro-confederate-groups-planning-rally-at-the-university-of-mississippi/




[font size="4"]And the winner is… [/font]

Ooh this was a tough one but in the end Mississippi stunned Indiana in a double overtime thriller that has one of the highest scoring rounds of the tournament so far! Final score – 101 – 93. Mississippimoves on, Indiana goes home!

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

Next week it’s Round 1 Week 3 and we’re live at the home of the Utah Jazz, the Navint Smart Home Arena in Salt Lake City for all the action! It’s a Fiscal Irresponsibility faceoff as Michigan goes for broke against hot newcomer Alaska, while the reigning champion Florida takes on conference favorite Montana in a Gun Nut duel to the death! Who will win and who will go home? Find out!


[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Struts[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an awesome band from Britain, you can see them on tour this summer including stops at the Kentucky Derby on May 2nd and May 4th at the Shaky Knees Festival. Their latest album is called “Young And Dangerous”. Playing their song “Body Talks”, give it up for The Struts!




Thank you Atlanta! This was fun, we’ll be back soon! We’re off to Tampa next! See you next week!

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