Speaking of Farmyard Manure and Trump - Here's a true story.

[MineralMan]

There was a stable near where I used to live in California. "Free Manure!" the sign said. "We Load!" the sign said. So, my wife said, "Let's start a big veggie garden!" I said..."Hmm...."

But, I drove my pickup truck over to the stable and talked to the nice lady there, "Load 'er up!" I said. She got the skiploader and loaded it up from the large manure pile. I repeated that trip three more times.

Worked my narrow ass off, I did, spreading that horse manure where my wife wanted her garden. I rented a big roto-tiller and tilled that manure into the sandy soil, until I had what looked like a great bed for my garden. To get it ready for planting, we created furrows and rows for all the seeds we bought, and then watered the plot so the seeds would get a good start right away.

Then, my wife and I got busy with something else and didn't get to planting those seeds for a couple of weeks. We were shocked to see that the entire plot had already sprouted lushly with grassy-looking plants. LUSHLY! Our 60' X 120' vegetable garden had become a field of FREAKING OATS!

Lesson learned. The veggie garden never got planted, but we watered, harvested, dried, and took the oats to a local mill and made oatmeal out of it. I HATE OATMEAL to this day.

The moral of the story: Do not fertilize your garden with horseshit, unless you want to eat oats for a while. Plus, if your President offers up "Bullshit!" frequently, please remember - Shit stinks!

[malaise]

1. I love this OP

Rec

[MineralMan]

2. Thanks. That happened back in the early 1970s,

when my then wife and I were sort of pretend hippies. We both even wrote for Mother Earth News. It was a very long time ago, when I was still too young to know better.

Come to think of it...I still don't know better. I'm not sure what that means...

[EarnestPutz]

6. As an unreconstructed Hippie myself, I enjoyed your story. My story...

involved dried sewage sludge and a bumper crop of tomato plants. Go figure. Still read Mother Earth News, but haven't gardened in quite a while. If doing something that I read about in one of their articles was a requirement to claiming to be a real hippie, maybe I should amend my claim and go with your "pretend" version.

[MineralMan]

7. I'm not actually sure what qualifies one to be a Hippie.

Being in one's 20s during the late 1960s, I'd think that would be one of the requirements. Maybe smoking more grass than was good for you, too. Maybe consuming some other assorted chemicals that affect the brain, as well.

I did all of those things, as well as wearing my hair long and my clothing oddly. But, I also bought a house in 1974, and eked out a living in a legitimate way. I guess I was a sort-of hippie, along with my then wife. She was probably more of one than I was, really.

Before we bought our tiny little house, we lived in a rental house near Morro Bay, CA. It had an ancient septic tank that frequently needed attention. The landlord trusted me to call someone to deal with it and paid the bills. The guy who did septic tank pumping in town was an older guy with some odd ideas about manners and the like.

One time when he came to that house, after I had dug a hole big enough to give him access to the top of the tank, he was standing near that hole, about to start pumping the tank out. He was smoking a cigarette, holding it between the fingers of a big yellow rubber glove that looked like it had seen much service around septic tanks.

My then wife, curious about the inner workings of a septic tank, walked up and was standing next to the septic tank guy, looking down into the hole like we were doing. Septic tank guy looked over at her and said:

"So, missy...you one of those loose-titty hippie girls?"

As it happened, the question probably came from looking at her, since she was dressed in a loose fitting top, which probably exposed her breasts while she was bent over slightly, looking down into the hole. Unflappable, not to mention bra-less, as always, she smiled at the septic tank guy and said:

"Well, I suppose I am, now that you mention it."

Everyone laughed. The tank got pumped. We got on with our lives, but now had a story about the septic tank guy. Those were good, if strange, times!

[Wellstone ruled]

3. Oh boy,

so true. BTW,you used to be able to get that free bullshit at the U's Research Farm in Roseville. He he.

[MineralMan]

8. Oh, every University has an ample supply of bullshit to hand out, I think.

Along with some useful knowledge, of course, if you look hard enough for it.

[Wellstone ruled]

10. Oh so true.

And you don't need a shovel.

[MineralMan]

12. LOL!

Absolutely right. In fact, you'll gladly pay for it.

[rickford66]

4. Use only rotted cow manure.

Never horse (they don't completely digest) or chicken (too acid). We never used pig, but it probably really stinks. A local farmer used to give us a load of cow once a year if he was spreading fresh manure from the barn. We let it sit for a year before we used it.

[MineralMan]

5. Yes. I did learn that lesson. As far as i know, there are still oats

sprouting in that yard in California every year.

[rickford66]

9. We learned the hard way also.

[MineralMan]

11. Sometimes, the hard way is the best way to learn a lesson.

Certainly, I would never make that mistake again. But, consider the stable owner. She got rid of three pickup loads of manure at no cost to her. I'm betting she had a good chuckle at seeing me eagerly driving up for more. I have no doubt she knew what my results would be.

[Bayard]

13. My horses don't get oats

But whatever seeds are in their hay will definitely sprout in composted manure. I always look at those lovely black compost piles, and can't help dumping them in the garden. Not this year by golly! Tired of spending more time weeding than enjoying my gardens.

Also learned the hard way that the only straw available around here is wheat straw. Use that for mulch, and you'll grow a lovely garden of wheat.