OMG! I'm freaked out! I only live 15 miles from the National Emergency!

[panader0]

Why aren't there police cruising the streets with sirens and warnings like
they did during the Monument Fire? Where are the bomb shelters?
Scared out of my wits here! I may need counseling.....

[Ohiogal]

1. You can always go play a round of golf ....

That's what our President does when he's considering a national emergency.

[panader0]

8. I've got a tough decision to make.

Which guitar do I keep when I escape to the North? Or am I supposed to
turn left, or is it right? Or go straight (which will never happen).

[Vinca]

2. Surely there's a run on bottled water and generators, right??

If this goes on much longer there might be a genuine shortage of booze. LOL.

[woofless]

3. Gotcha' beat!

We're only five miles south of the Canadian border, and there is a shortage of Border Patrol agents. Oh, the horror!

[underpants]

4. That's a shame.

Too far for a tunnel. You could make a bunch of money if you lived closer.

[catrose]

5. And we should deploy all the recovery organizations, like we do for hurricanes

Red Cross, Southern Baptist food trucks, Convoy of Hope, et very long cetera

[catrose]

7. And be sure to lay in a supply of emergency provisions

Beer, pop tarts, tarks, masking tape, & water. Or maybe more beer. (Wal-Marts in Florida say these are what everybody buys before hurricanes.)

[Brother Buzz]

6. Emergency! Everybody to Get From Street!

[First Speaker]

13. You beat me to it!

[nilram]

9. I'm hoping someone puts up a "national emergency cam"

pointed at the desert. Live action of the disaster in progress...

[malaise]

10. Duck brother duck

[panader0]

11. I'm under the bed.

[malaise]

12. LOL

The Con is a world class fraud

[Poiuyt]

14. Thoughts and prayers

[Hermit-The-Prog]

15. just be sure you stay hydrated

Somehow, drinking lots of water helps in a crisis.

[panader0]

16. He must have had a "stadium buddy" strapped to his leg.. I watched that and couldn't

believe how much water he drank.

[Gothmog]

17. I used to live 10 miles from the Rio Grande

[UTUSN]

18. K&R