Have you been personally touched by gun violence?

[LearnedHand]

(NOT a discussion about RKBA, please)

I have been reading some of the essays by kids and others affected by the Parkland shooting last year, and I took stock of how may times that I can remember when I personally have been affected by gun violence. I was shocked at the number of occurrences:

- Lost a friend shot intentionally with a shotgun
- Personally witnessed a (thankfully non-lethal) shooting resulting from an argument
- Lost a family friend to suicide by gun
- Distant family member lost a limb after having been shot with a shotgun in a fight
- Experienced an extremely nearby workplace shooting in which people ran into our workplace to get away

I suspect there are more that I’m not remembering. Other than experiencing our national trauma when these horrible shootings occur, have you been personally affected by gun violence?

[WhiskeyGrinder]

1. No.

[rusty quoin]

154. I cannot believe all the responses but it does make sense when you think about it.

It goes on and on. Something someday has to change all this.

[50 Shades Of Blue]

2. Yes....

Lost family member to suicide by gun.

[sagetea]

3. Yes...

And thankfully the gun jammed, or I would not be here today!

sage

[mercuryblues]

58. Thankfully is right.

I gave away all my hearts or I would give you 1.How's a hug instead.

[Maru Kitteh]

150. I care about you.

I am glad your life was spared and I am glad you are here.

[A Brand New World]

4. Yes. When I was 16, in 1972, my dad shot my mom and then killed himself.

She survived.

[EveHammond13]

6. omg. I am so sorry.

[LearnedHand]

16. I'm so sorry

I cannot imagine what that must be like for you. Love, light, and warmth to you for surviving it.

[lunatica]

83. I'm glad your mom survived!

It must be hard living with that all your lives.

[A Brand New World]

120. Yes, it's hard because even after this many years I still am angry.

Because as far as my dad knew he was leaving me and my two younger sisters as orphans. Plus my mom still has the bullet in her neck as it was too close to the spinal cord to remove safely. But she is still fiesty at 80 years old!

[Maru Kitteh]

155. It's perfectly okay to be angry, furious, enraged, bitter; and still

enjoy any good memories of your father if you have them.

There is a deeply rooted and constantly reinforced American paradigm of not just patriarchy, but patri-supremacy.

"King of his castle" "Wears the pants"

It trains men to believe that they own and should control women.

Men from a certain generation who broke away from this were the exception, not the rule.


I'm glad you have your mom to love. Please give her a hug for me.

[ghostsinthemachine]

5. Many times

My father used to pull guns on me fresuently.

The guy who shot, killed one, two Sacramento county sheriffs in 2017 tried to shoot me in 2002.

[LearnedHand]

23. Ditto my response to you as well

I’m so sorry for the fear you must have lived in.

[lunatica]

87. Hugs to you!

Your anecdote brings up the echo of what must have been a terrible time for you.

[Siwsan]

7. One of my cousins was fatally shot, as he unlocked his front door.

And my uncle's niece and her husband were serving eviction papers to a tenant, and he gunned them down. The husband, as they sat in the living room, and the tenant chased her down into the basement, cornered her, and shot her. Both were fatalities.

I had a close miss. I was sitting in my barracks room at the Philadelphia Naval Ship Yard when a bullet smashed through my window, straight past me and my roommate. We reported it, of course, and were told it was just some guys playing with a gun that accidentally went off. Seriously - that was the 'end of it'. No report filed. No charges made.

[catrose]

8. 2 suicides that I know of: parent and uncle

Quite a few "gun accidents" that took other family members. But the one place I felt safe was school (despite hiding under the desk for Russian attack drills). Kids today don't have that.

[Harker]

147. Russians aren't the threat fellow Americans are.

Some schools have 'active shooter' drills.

Heartwrenching.

[Maru Kitteh]

156. We have Trump because of Russia, resulting in K's of

innocent dead. FUCK RUSSIA. and fuck Trump.

[Harker]

172. Yes.

No argument there. I was referring to classroom drills and Russia in a pretty limited context.

[CatMor]

9. Yes ..

lost a family member to suicide by gun.

[LuckyCharms]

10. Almost, but no.

Came very close to being in the middle of a gunfight. Within a few hundred feet. I was able to take shelter, and it actually ended without anyone getting shot, but it really rattled me for a long time.

[Igel]

11. A few times.

When I was in elementary school, there was a loud noise outside. The neighbor's kid killed somebody in their front yard, a drug deal gone bad. Guy's mother insisted he was innocent. No, he was a murderer, drug dealer, and (it turns out) the fence behind the burglaries in the area.

Maybe 7, 8 years later twin friends in Scouts vanished. Their father, unemployed as the steel mill downsized in the face of Chinese imports, killed himself in their living room. Gun in the mouth.

Then a decade or so ago my father, faced with a delusional, Alzheimer's-riddled wife of 50+ years, lay down in the garage and put the gun he'd bought (with background check, etc.) a few months before in his mouth and killed himself.


At the same time, my brother was a state champion silhouette shooter in a nearby state for several years, has a federal firearms license. I've gone shooting and hunting with friends.

[mountain grammy]

12. Yes

2 good friends to suicide.

[LearnedHand]

72. So very sorry, mountain grammy

And I’m sorry your friends reached that place.

[mountain grammy]

88. Thanks

It was awful. Never saw it coming, and that’s the truth. Still haunts, 20 and 25 years later.

[Wellstone ruled]

13. My Cousin was

shot by his soon to be ex-wife while he was at his Girl Friends Apartment. The soon to be Ex killed both and muffed her Suicide attempt.

[dameatball]

14. Lost an in-law by gun suicide in a bathtub. Family had to sell the house.

Also lost an in-law of my SO....family attempting to sell that house. No good outcomes in either case.


If someone is going to commit suicide, why not spare your family. Leave a note and go out into the woods if you refuse to seek help.

[LearnedHand]

25. OMG. That reminds me of another one

A former university boss of mine did exactly that. He did commit suicide with a gun, but he did it as mindfully of his family as one in that state of mind could have done.

[dameatball]

169. It's a sensitive subject and I did not intend to be overly critical of someone in obvious pain. I

suppose that by the time someone has decided to take their own life, they may not fully appreciate the ripple effects of their actions.

[easttexaslefty]

15. So many sister's in grief in my support group

Belong to a suicide support group of parents who have lost a child to suicide. They truly are like sisters & many lost the child ( from 10 - 50) to gsw.

My son hung himself. If there had been a gun available, I know he would have used that.

[LearnedHand]

73. I cannot imagine your grief

And I’m so glad you have your support group. Much love and warmth to you and your group.

[CTyankee]

17. Yes, my niece, who was shot and killed by her stepfather after she was trying to help her

mom who was dying of cancer. He thought he had been unfairly written out of her will, had a gun to "protect" his house from bad guys, got drunk and started waving the gun. My niece got caught in the subsequent shooting. She was hit in the head and died instantly.

My brother collapsed at her coffin during the funeral. He did within a year, never the same from the loss of her.

[nini]

54. This is heartbreaking

I'm so sorry.. so sad

[CTyankee]

59. Thank you nini. Her funeral was beyond heartbreaking.

My brother had wanted an open casket to show that her beauty had not been touched by the gunshot wound and indeed the entry wound had been covered over by make up at the funeral home. Tht was all the more tragic just looking at her there...

[nini]

111. I can't imagine

So senseless.

Losing a child is bad enough but in a manner like that would never allow some kind of acceptance.

[LearnedHand]

76. I'm so sorry, CTYankee

You point out something important: The ripple effect of the grief and loss. We are all changed by this. Much love and warmth to you and your family.

[CTyankee]

98. It really does. Our lives today are all changed as a result.

Closure doesn't really happen. It keeps on changing as we go on. I learned something from this experience.

[procon]

18. Ex tried to kill me. He missed, but came close

enough to leave me with a partial hearing loss. Weak, insecure, craven man-baby, he was always a bully and a loudmouth braggart, but he became insanely aggressive when he started carrying guns around.

Decades have passed and I still get panic attacks when I see some thoughtless jerk sporting their guns/egos in public places.

[LearnedHand]

27. SO glad you're still with us! eom

[Takket]

19. never... so far.... i feel lucky to say

[LearnedHand]

74. I, too, am glad you've been lucky eom

[Bettie]

20. 14 Year old cousin

shot himself to death while his parents were at church.

[Aristus]

21. A life-long friend of mine had an older brother who was shot to death by his wife.

Who then killed herself.

[titaniumsalute]

22. Yes

Two years ago my sister was shot in the head by her husband and died. Left behind my 3 nieces.

[LearnedHand]

66. So sorry, titaniumsalute

So much suffering in that situation. I hope you and your nieces are coping as best as you can. Love, light, and warmth to you all.

[NickB79]

24. Does using one in self defense count?

Because if so, yes.

[LearnedHand]

28. Of course, and no judgment!

I’m so sorry you were in that situation.

[NickB79]

31. Took years of counseling to get past, and I didn't even kill him

Anyone who thinks pulling a gun in a life-or-death situation is fun or exciting is a sociopath. It is life-changing.

[LearnedHand]

38. So glad it didn't end up a worst-case situation

And I’m glad you’re here to talk about it.

[Lucid Dreamer]

159. Too few people think about that in advance.

But successful self-defense is better than dying.

[madaboutharry]

26. Yes.

A high school friend of my son committed suicide with a gun.

The son of a friend was killed with a gun during a home invasion.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

29. Yes, a close relative committed suicide with a gun. n/t

[LearnedHand]

40. So sorry, CA Peggy eom

[LearnedHand]

30. I grieve for all of us affected personally

Thank you so much for being willing to talk about it.

[TalenaGor]

32. for me nothing like anybody else has but there was this one time...

At band camp....

Okay sorry just kidding right there lol

Several years ago my ex-husband who was both an alcoholic and a paranoid type he decided to buy a Glock 45, I didn't want to but he was very insistent that we needed protection....

So one night after drinking heavily he got it in his head that our roommates had stolen some of his tools out of our garage so he spent all night long in the garage with the gun in his pants waiting for our roommate to come down and steal more tools.....

so around 7 a.m. he hadn't been to bed I went down to do laundry didn't know he was in there and...... I had a gun in my face!

I was one twitch away from being dead right there that day, I left him 2 weeks later....

[LearnedHand]

41. So glad you are still here and was able to remove yourself from that situation eom

[hardluck]

33. Yes. My father was shot by a police officer

Outside our house. He suffers from mental illness. He had a kitchen knife in his hand and was shot in the hip.

I was a bank teller in the mid-90s and was there during a takeover robbery before the branch opened. One of the robbers told the bank manager that he had two minutes to open a certain vault or he'd shoot me. That was fun.

I've also had a gun pulled on me at the concession stand at the golf course near the Greek Theater.

[ProudLib72]

34. Yes

My cousin committed suicide with a pistol.

[Atticus]

35. Yes. I was shot. nt

[LearnedHand]

42. OMG! It's one thing to have nightmares of becoming a victim

and another world altogether when you ARE a victim. I’m glad you are here with us.

[Zoonart]

36. Lost my dear SIL to murder suicide.

Was threatened with a gun.
My mother was threatened with a gun by a realitive, when I was a kid.

[LearnedHand]

50. So horrible

Your mom being threatened must have been terrifying. I know every parent’s worst nightmare is to lose a child, but isn’t also every child’s worst nightmare to fear losing a parent? Much less actually losing one.

[Zoonart]

56. Reading all of these sad testimonies,

I am renewing my commitment to fighting gun violence.

My experience was indeed terrifying, but my mom and I came out of it alive.
So many others were not so lucky.


Thank you for your compassion.

[LearnedHand]

69. Zoonart, I wonder how representative we are of the US as a whole?

A friend of mine at work lost a parent to murder by her other parent. How many of us are zero or one degree separated from this kind of loss? These stories are heartbreaking.

[msongs]

37. does a guy waving his gun at me and demanding money count? nt

[LearnedHand]

43. Indeed it does

And how horrible is it that we are wondering which gun situations “count”?

[Johnny2X2X]

39. Yes

I lost my best friend 7 years ago next week to a road rage incident. Was just a minor fender bender while he was on his way to work in the morning. Should have been no big deal and an exchange of insurance, instead a small scuffle ensued and the passenger pulled out a gun and shot randomly killing him.

[LearnedHand]

45. Road rage is a really tough one isn't it?

I’m sorry for the shocking loss of your friend.

[Johnny2X2X]

163. Thanks

It was tough. He was a great man who left behind a beautiful daughter. Completely senseless.

Just a little fender bender and the driver and he got out of their cars to discuss things, things got heated and there was a little bit of shoving, no punches thrown, it was over and as he turned to walk away, the driver's sister who had been the passenger returned to the vehicle and got a gun out of her purse and shot once, the .22 bullet went through his side and traveled across his chest nicking the aorta and he bled to death in seconds. They fled the scene, but were captured a week later, the girl got 22 years in prison, the driver got off, but has been in and out of jail for other things since.

It was tragic and we still do something every year to honor him, a bench was placed near the scene honoring him. I tell you, the one thing I learned about was the agony of having a loved one taken by a violent crime and having the perpetrator unknown and free. That week seemed like a year, you spend every moment mourning and wondering if the killer will ever be found. Puts into perspective what families must go through when the killer is never found or when the victim is missing, there must be a big hole inside that cannot be filled.

[Karadeniz]

44. Not gun...knife.

A recent release from a mental hospital stabbed my brother in the back while he stood in line at a fast food restaurant. A lung was punctured. The clients just stared, shocked, while my brother ran in a circle behind the counter and in the front. Staff couldn't call for help because management had made the phone so that customers could phone in orders, but staff couldn't waste work time on personal calls. When he ran out of oxygen and couldn't run, his girlfriend came in and got an ambulance. The attacker wanted to go back to the hospital. He did.

[LearnedHand]

47. Good heavens!

I imagine if we broadened the question we’d fill up a dozen DUs with our replies, mine included. I hope your brother survived and healed.

[backtoblue]

46. Yes

Both personally and professionally..

[LearnedHand]

48. ...

(For all we who have been violence-touched)

[nolabear]

49. I was held at gunpoint once.

I was young and dumb and hitchhiked. I managed to talk my way out of getting killed but I was deeply affected for quite a while.

[LearnedHand]

51. I can imagine!

You must be very cool-headed to have talked your way out of that situation.

[nolabear]

157. Surprisingly I was. It was a trucker. I refused to get out of the truck.

Long story but I managed to tell him if he shot me he’d never get me off the inside of his truck, and refused to get out until he took me to a public place. It was very, very weird.

[Comatose Sphagetti]

52. Yes.

My Aunt killed her husband (my Uncle) and her 6-years old daughter as they slept. She then killed herself. She left a note saying she couldn't kill her newborn son. I suspect my Cousin, who was raised by my Grandparents, struggles to this day. And that was 50 years ago.

About ten years ago a longtime friend committed suicide.

[LearnedHand]

53. How do we even grieve for that many loved ones at once?

Love, light, and warmth to you and your cousin — fifty years of it, if that’s possible.

[Comatose Sphagetti]

55. Thanks. It was determined postpartum depression played a role in the incident.

May we all know peace... The survivors as well as those who've passed.

[AncientGeezer]

57. Yep....been shot.. in a hunting accident.

[LearnedHand]

64. Um were you hunting with Dick Cheney? (Okay not funny in this thread)

I’m so sorry you were actually wounded. I hope you recovered well and weren’t too badly damaged.

[AncientGeezer]

102. A friend put .22shorts in a .22LR only rifle I loaned him...I got over it....

..after months in the hospital.

[LearnedHand]

136. So I assume using the wrong sized rounds caused the accident?

Months in the hospital does not sound like an easy recovery. Here’s hoping you are as healthy as possible now. And I hope you understand what I mean when I say I hope your friend recovered from the trauma as well. I’m glad you’re here with us.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

60. No, not personally,

for which I am extremely grateful.

[LearnedHand]

71. I know we're a self-selected group on this thread, so thanks for this bright answer

I’m very grateful there are some who have not been personally affected.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

61. Five years ago I "witnessed" a murder-suicide in my office building

I didn’t actually see it but I heard the gunshots plain as day.

Husband shot his wife who had just left him, and then shot himself. They were from an upper class community and he had no criminal past. “Legal and law abiding” gun owner.

[LearnedHand]

75. So horrible. Aaaaand your story reminded me of yet another in my own life

I lost an in-law to a similar public shooting, but this person was just a bystander and not one of the parties involved.

[rurallib]

62. Yes

Shot at twice while camping - not hit.
Shot at downtown in my college town while in a car from an apartment window. Missed

Staying overnight with my best friend at age 13. His dad owned a bar. After they closed up they went across the alley to an all night hamburger place they ate at frequently. They walked in on a robbery in progress and his dad was shot and killed. Still bothered by the memories. I had to call my parents to come get me at the hospital at 4AM - no one said a thing.

Age 21 - had lunch with a very close friend on Friday. He had just gotten engaged and was on top of the world - very stable person. Next morning on the way to work I heard he committed suicide that night with a gun. Never knew why.

age 25 - brother drunk took a gun and was hunting down his wife - fortunately the sheriff got to him before he found his wife.

In my 2 daughters class 4 kids lost parents to 2 suicides and 2 murders in a small town of 3000.

Neighbor across the alley 30 years ago on Halloween night came to take his daughter from his ex-wife. She heard he was coming and called the police. When the ex-husband tried to barge in with his gun drawn he was met at the door by the cop. Husband took a couple steps backward and put the gun in his mouth and shot his head off. Fortunately my kids were asleep.

Had more than my share of gun violence.

[LearnedHand]

99. You have indeed

Most of the gun violence I’ve experienced has been in small “normal” communities. Some in the mega city in which I grew up of course. I guess there’s no demographic of those likely to experience gun violence other than”anyone.” I’m glad you were never injured.

[chowder66]

63. Yes. Lost 2 friends to suicide by gun and had one pointed at me during the L.A. riots. nt

[LearnedHand]

78. I'm glad you survived that!

So very sorry for the loss of your friends.

[chowder66]

109. Me too and thank you. The other detailed stories here are heart wrenching. nt

[mercuryblues]

65. Yes

My Aunt was shot by her soon to be ex-husband. He very narrowly missed her carotid artery and barely survived.


My Mother's friend's daughter's soon to be ex-husband shot and killed their 3/4 year old son then killed himself. The note was something to the effect that he will always have him and she never will.

Just a few months ago my spouse's best friend had a gun pulled on him during a home invasion.

[LearnedHand]

81. OMG such anger! That poor child

I’m very glad your aunt survived. I hope she’s living as full a life as she can after an injury like that. The home invasion sounds terrifying. I’m glad your friend was not physically injured, although I imagine there are emotional aftershocks.

[mercuryblues]

113. Thank-you

[yardwork]

67. Lost a good friend to suicide with a rifle.

My former husband experienced a workplace attack where numerous people were shot, including a close colleague who was killed.

[LearnedHand]

84. There's no going back after such a thing, is there?

We are forever affected by a brush with gun-related violence. Not minimizing other violence at all, to be sure.

[TexasBushwhacker]

68. 3 friends to gun suicides

For that reason, I will never, ever own a gun (unless I want to kill myself). Anyone can go through a bad patch, or have a bad day. Having a gun can turn those days into a tragedy. Nothing is as fast and lethal as a gun. One friend lost his business, killed himself and left a widow and 4 kids. He was a PI. I'm sure he felt having a gun would keep his family safe. He was 49.

[LearnedHand]

90. TexasBushwhacker, let us just agree you'll never own a gun, mkay?

I know not all suicides are spur of the moment, but some are. You’re so right in saying a handy gun can at times turn a blue day into an irrevocable decision.

[TexasBushwhacker]

114. I forgot one

I had a 12 year old student who shot himself. Accident or suicide? I don't know.

[LearnedHand]

92. OMG, pintobean! I can only imagine

I’m glad you’re safe, but I’m so very sorry that has become part of your emotional DNA. Love and light to you every day.

[WhiskeyWulf]

77. Close -- held up at gunpoint at a job in college.

It doesn't count, but it was pretty shocking for a 19-year-old from a small town. I never felt quite as safe in the world after that.

[LearnedHand]

93. It totally counts

I don’t think physical injury has to occur to be deeply changed by gun-related violence. Much healing and warmth to you.

[WhiskeyWulf]

95. Thank you. :) nt

[lunatica]

79. My ex husband put a loaded gun to my head and threatened to kill me, while I was holding

my baby. Fortunately he was drunk and after waving it in my face he soon passed out. I took the bullets out and hid them in the back of my paintings and jammed the gun in the space under the kitchen sink between the sink and the space around it. I knew he would beat me up later but that was better than getting killed. He found the bullets but never found the gun. It’s probably still there after almost 47 years. Who looks in the space between the sink and the counters?

[LearnedHand]

96. Lunatica I am so sorry

And I’m so glad the operative word in your post is Ex. I’m very glad you are still with us.

[lunatica]

100. From the posts on this thread it's amazing how much gun violence

there is.

[Kali]

80. two suicides, at least

I tend to think of violence as acts perpetrated by one aggressor on one or more victims. suicide by gun is violent but I am not sure I would lump it with "gun violence"

certainly it is a gun-related death.

[LearnedHand]

101. I couldn't think of a way to phrase it that truly got at what I was thinking

But all these testimonies are answers to what meant: Threat of or actual injury or death, self-inflicted or otherwise, in which guns played a part.

[guillaumeb]

82. I was robbed while working at a store.

The robber was calm, and opened his coat to show his gun. He asked for money, I gave it to him, and he walked out.

[LearnedHand]

104. Very cool-headed of you

I’d like to think I would be as wise in that situation.

[guillaumeb]

144. It happened quickly.

And the robber was very low key. Almost "professional" if you understand what I mean.

[applegrove]

85. I walked into some kids trying to rob my landlord. They had a rifle. I ran away.

Right out of my shoes. That was scary in a very particular way. Thankfully nobody was shot. They ran when I did. And they ran outside the building and right by the basement I ran into. I almost was out the door. If I had been any faster I would have run right into them. As it was, I saw them go right by me like a bunch of gazelles. It was in canada and the police told my landlord it was probably a pellet gun. We were in Montreal which has much better gun control than the USA. Because I could get away I was not traumatized by it. Plus they weren't buff like men. Not pleasant but I was lucky that day. They could have panicked and hurt someone.

[LearnedHand]

105. I'm so sorry you faced that

But I have to tell you I laughed at your description of your flight. I ran at the speed of adrenaline when I saw that argument go all gun-shaped. I’m glad you were not hurt, and thank you for your compassion toward the idiot kids.

[mnhtnbb]

86. Two suicides and a robbery at gun point.

1) A friend of my oldest son killed himself with a hand gun in the December when my son was a senior in high school. The friend had been to the beach with us the previous summer.

2) My estranged husband killed himself with a shotgun last December, the day after his 76th birthday.

3) My youngest son--when he was a senior in high school-- was out with a friend in downtown Chapel Hill on a Sunday afternoon about 10 years ago. They were in an alley when a guy came up, waved a sawed off shotgun in their faces, and demanded all their money. Since they were high school kids at the time, they gave the guy everything in their wallets--about $36--which wasn't much but satisfied him. Thank goodness they didn't mouth off to him and he didn't shoot.

[LearnedHand]

110. I'm so sorry about your husband

No matter the reason for the estrangement it’s a horrible thing. The other suicide is no less horrible. And I too am grateful your son kept his head. What a frightening thing to face. I hope you all are coping and finding healing.

[Honeycombe8]

89. I suppose.

Acquaintance accidentally shot himself in his hand when getting his gun from glove compartment to show friends.

An acquaintance's father shot himself (but that was depression; he was terminally ill).

My brother's friend was supposedly accidentally shot and killed when he was about 14, on a hunting trip. (I heard later that it was actually suicide, but I don't know if that's true.)

[LearnedHand]

112. No matter the situation, it never doesn't shock and change us. eom

[happybird]

91. Yes

A friend who was down on his luck and staying with us shot himself in our guest room. We didn't know he had a gun. We moved after that.

Warning, this one is graphic:
A few years later, I was walking the dog and came across what I thought was a squirrel skin. It was oddly thick and just strange. Picked it up with a new dogpoop bag and set it by a tree to show my hubby when he came home. About an hour later I heard my next door neighbor screaming. Her husband had killed himself with a high powered rifle. He aimed out the window so the bullet wouldn't travel into one of the other apartments. I scrubbed and bleached her patio when she went to the funeral home the next day. It was bad.

And lastly, Junior was a friend of mine:
https://www.aclu-de.org/sites/default/files/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Wash-Post-story-on-Hale3.pdf

[LearnedHand]

117. Oh, happybird, how horrible that your home/safe space was affected by your poor friend's despair!

I would have moved as well. I can’t imagine the aftermath of a suicide by high-powererd rifle, but I read an extremely graphic description after Parkland of exactly what the ER docs had to deal with. I have no words for what your friend suffered, but I’m extremely glad to see that the ACLU is involved. Much love, light, and warmth to you.

[sarisataka]

94. On both sides

Cousin committed suicide and was randomly shot at by an unknown person

On the other end I held a man who was beating his SO at gunpoint until the police arrived.
Twice was armed during attempted robbery but resolved those without resorting to firearms.

I also have been in combat but don't count that.

[LearnedHand]

118. You are very brave and lucky

And clever to resolve the robbery attempts without going for what might be considered the easy way (with a gun). IDK. I think I’d count the combat, albeit it a sanctioned circumstance. We are still changed by it, are we not?

[sarisataka]

129. One situation was

Easily defused due to the intoxication of the robber. The other was a much more near thing and had I needed to draw I would have fired. Luckily he backed down at the last moment and turned away; I never have determined why he changed his mind.

Yes, combat experiences do tend to stay with you a long time.

[sfwriter]

97. Yes...

Church shooting in Knoxville, TN.

[LearnedHand]

119. I used to live in the area and feared I also knew people affected

So painfully frightening and horrible.

[lapfog_1]

103. yes.

childhood friend died while hunting with another childhood friend (I was supposed to go but my father wisely said "no" when I revealed it would just be the 3 of us). It was an accident. I can still hear his mother screaming at the funeral now close to 50 years ago.

[LearnedHand]

121. I think I can too and I wasn't even there

I’m so glad your father spoke up and that you are here with us because he did.

[RockRaven]

106. Fortunately not, in terms of myself or a family member being a victim

Encountered a heck of a lot of gun violence victims in the workplace (a medical setting), but that's after the fact, and not really personal in the sense of happening to people I had a previous relationship with.

One of my nearest family members just had an acquaintance commit suicide by gun. There's a family that his family is very close to -- the husbands are friends w/ each other, the wives are friends w/ each other, two teenagers from each couple are paired off as friends -- and this other family had a long-time handyman who was always around. Really always around, and for many years, so the kids don't really remember him not being there. This handyman shot himself in this other family's garage one day. It was definitely suicide, not an accident; he had recently been given a dire medical diagnosis and had, in hindsight, said some ominous things. It was, and still is, very disturbing to the kids in both families.

[LearnedHand]

122. Thank you for being there after the fact, though

That cannot be an easy thing.

[loyalsister]

107. Yes

3 students from my school used guns committed suicide during our teen yrs. The first when we were 14. I think there have been others since then.

The stepson of an aunt shot his 4 yr. old sister when he was 10rs. old.

Those are the ones closest to me. I am familiar with some other instances that are more distant.

[LearnedHand]

123. Omg that poor child

How would a child carry something like that through his life?

[loyalsister]

133. She survived with a spinal cord injury

I have a cousin, who is their half brother. The most he would say when I asked how they are is that he's not a very nice person. I don't know details, but I think it would be pretty difficult to go through such a thing and me well adjusted without a whole lot of effort and good luck.

[Tumbulu]

108. Yes, but I have had farms and city people show up on the first days of hunting season

and shoot at employees and me and livestock and it’s utter hell! And terrifying. Bullets going right by people’s heads, barns damaged. Utterly bizarre and terrifying.

So, rural life made terrifying by urban hunters.

[LearnedHand]

124. A special kind of hell, for sure. eom

[Silver Swan]

115. Yes

A brother-in-law suicide by gun, and two co-workers murdered by guns.

[LearnedHand]

125. It always divides life into before and after, doesn't it? eom

[Zoonart]

116. HR8 passed the house judiciary committee tonight.

First gun legislation since 1993. On to the full house.
Bill would require anyone who sells a gun to perform a background check on the buyer.

[LearnedHand]

127. Thank you for this update

After all these stories, though, it suddenly seems laughably impotent, doesn’t it? Nevertheless, it’s an important conversation to have. Here’s hoping the bill will open a national dialogue.

[Zoonart]

128. It's a start.

[femmedem]

126. Yes. Lost a fiance to suicide.

He was only thirty. (This was twenty years ago.)

He drove home after a shift at a restaurant, broke into his parents' house, and stole their gun from their bedside table as they slept. Went home and shot himself in front of his roommate.

This thread is incredible. I had no idea there were so many of us.

[Maru Kitteh]

130. Best friend shot in the head at 14 by her boyfriend

- Best friend shot in the head and killed at 14 by her boyfriend. He found Jesus prior to his trial and got 3 years. Three.
- Cousin who took his own life by gun
- Father was shot in the knee in combat
- Nephew who took his own life by gun
- Once ordered to "shelter in place" in a shop by a SWAT team handling a bank robbery with hostages one block away

Oh. And while it doesn't really qualify as gun violence - I was shot by a hunter while walking walking through thick reeds on the river as a kid. I was about 8-ish. Thankfully it was just a surface wound to my right lateral midriff. Hell, the shooter may very well have been a kid too because all I remember is my ears and head ringing as I saw two baseball caps running up the bank and disappearing into the tall grass.

It didn't bleed much at all. I remember seeing what I now know was the fat layer. I hid it from my parents because somehow I thought I would get in trouble or even worse, they wouldn't let me go back to the river any more.

8-year-old logic.

[klook]

131. Lost a beloved relative to suicide by shotgun. (nt)

[Niagara]

132. On Nov. 21, 1999

A man named Kevin R. Noles was thrown out of Fat Boy's Steakhouse in Angola, IN. He wondered to a nearby apartment complex where a small group of people was sitting in the front yard around a bonfire. The group asked him to leave because they didn't know him. He threatened to come back with a gun. After he left, the group abandoned their bonfire and went inside an apartment. Noles came back with a gun and kicked the front door open. He shot and killed a friend and classmate of mine named Julianna Schenkel along with fatally killing 2 other people. Julianna left behind a 4 year old daughter. Another former classmate of mine that was there managed to escape through a window unharmed.

[nini]

142. :-(

These stories are heartbreaking.

sorry for your loss

[Hassin Bin Sober]

134. My brother's best friend was murdered by his father in law. Over religion.

Father in law showed up at the front door Sunday night, maced him and shot him 4 times in the chest.

Our families were really close. They lived right across the street. My dad said he never heard anything so heartbreaking than hearing the dad wailing in the background when my dad got the call that Marc was killed.

The wife died a couple years later from cancer leaving the three young kids orphaned.

Two high school friends by suicide in high school. One kid was taking antidepressants and just quit.

Another one of my best friend’s growing up lost his cousin by accidental shooting when we were in 8th grade(.22 caliber rifle). I count this as personal. I watched it tear the marriage and the family deteriorate and the dad never recovered. The dad killed himself with a gun about ten years ago.

[CountAllVotes]

135. Yes several times

7 yrs. old -- neighbor shot himself in the head
11 yrs. old -- son of my dad's friend killed in rifle accident
18 yrs. old -- mother's best friend's daughter murdered
30 yrs. old -- witness of a murder
40 yrs. old -- murder of a good friend
46 yrs. old -- man that lived next door murdered

Those of the ones I remember.

There could be more. I hate to even think about them.

[Haggis for Breakfast]

137. Thirty years ago.

I had backed my car into a parking space, looked out my mirrors (I was careful and alert even back then.), didn't see anyone and opened my door to get out. Before I knew it, a man stepped up, preventing me from getting out of the car, saying he wanted my car. I had a classic sports car. Being a smart ass, I said, "So do all my friends."

He said, "Yeah, but I got a gun," at which point he jerked a handgun from his waistband and put it between my eyes.

I've always been fast on my feet, so to speak, and I asked him if I could at least get my house keys off the ring before I handed the car keys over to him. He allowed me to do that. Just as he said that, a neighbor of mine came around the corner on her afternoon jog. I started waving my arms and screaming at her. He panicked and ran off.

I STILL have that car. I'll never sell it.

[kairos12]

138. A girl on my 12-13 year old softball team

killed herself with a shotgun. A tragedy I'm still coming to grips with. It was 16 years ago.

[Liberty Belle]

139. A friend's ex-husband shot and killed their four children.

When my kids were in middle school, the high school district they would soon attend had two mass shootings a week or two apart (Granite Hills and Santana High). A friend's sister was a teacher shot at Granite Hills. She survived but others died.

My son was threatened by a student who had access to a gun at home (Dad was a cop). So we lived in fear of what could happen since the school didn't do enough, just a short suspension. Thankfully the bully never followed up on his threat.

As a news editor, sadly I have to report almost daily on gun violence in our community, too often involving a mentally ill person, domestic violence by someone with a history of warning signs, or a combat veteran with serious PTSD/mental health issue. These are people who should not have easy access to guns, especially semi-automatic weapons capable of mass killings.

[doc03]

140. Had two very good friends that

committed suicide with a gun.

[thucythucy]

141. My partner's grandfather was shot by a hunter

who mistook him for a deer.

A woman I knew years ago--fiancée to a friend--was shot in the face during a mugging. She died.

I know two people (both men) who committed suicide with handguns.

A friend of mine was raped at gunpoint.

[nini]

143. This entire thread is horrific

What a country this is. So many heartbreaking stories of senseless tragedy that has become so commonplace. So many lives ended and survivors living with the crushing aftermath.

I've been around DU a long time and this might be the most powerful thread ever.

[LearnedHand]

160. It is horrific

And we perhaps tend to carry these memories as something vaguely shameful, that maybe these things don’t happen to “normal” people. This part of the discussion seems to be missing from our national dialogue, doesn’t it?

[Harker]

145. Yes.

My late father and his wife were attacked in their home by a drunken neighbor who thought he had come home to his own house, and that there were two intruders within.

Wife badly bruised, old man and neighbor each shot three times (including one head shot each) by each other with the same .357 Magnum (my father's bedside gun.)

Amazingly, despite a collective six hits for six shots, no one died as a result, though I'm quite certain all the involvees were forever damaged.

Personally, I've had pistols aimed directly at me by a cop (mistaken identity) and a very drunken acquaintance who had a strong dislike for my former employer (he was soon busted driving around drunk with a loaded firearm.) I thought it likely I'd be shot in both cases, but I was fortunate.

I do not like guns.

[demosincebirth]

146. no I haven't, but there were a couple of times in my life where I was glad I didn't own one.

[womanofthehills]

148. Yrs ago I worked in a childrens hospital - a 5 year old girl came in paralized from a gun shot

The mother had 3 children under 10 and rarely left them with babysitters but decided to go to Bingo leaving her kids with her mom. She said she felt uneasy because she could not relax when she left them. The father recently had a friend over from Mexico and this friend hid his gun above a doorway in their house without the parents knowing. The kids saw him do it. When their mother left, the kids got the gun down and the 7 yr old girl shot her 5 yr old sister. We had her in the hospital for months. She was eventually able to walk with a severe limp but had no movement in one arm.

[Tiggeroshii]

149. Yes.

One battle buddy from basic training killed himself shortly after graduating -the events of this story are hazy and teh police are the authority. There is a very good chance it was not a suicide, given the propensity of police malfeasence in cases like this. Another was a co-worker from San Bernardino who was killed in the line of fire in that mass shooting. I'm only bracing for the next one.

[LastDemocratInSC]

151. Yes

My best friend in life, we met as college students at 18. In time he met my sister and they were married. He was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He took his life with a gun 5 years ago. My sister and I grieve for him daily.

[TeamPooka]

152. My cousin's daughter, Caroline, was murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School. She was 5 years old.

[Maru Kitteh]

158. I cannot fathom the grief. Please know

millions upon millions of us care about that little girl and will fight for her to our last breath.

[LearnedHand]

161. What Maru Kitteh said

[midnight and lulu]

153. Yes.

Brother in law was suicided by the LAPD.

[marble falls]

170. Cannot imagine how hard that was on you and wife.

[Skidmore]

162. Yes.

Two nephews and a cousin committed suicide by gun.

[Johnny2X2X]

164. Don't forget suicides

Something the media rarely talks about are the number of suicides that are committed with guns. For every murder in the US using guns, there are 2 people who use guns to kill themselves.

The amount of guns in our society is obscene. It's a final and easy solution for suicidal people. Without a gun being involved, most suicide attempts are unsuccessful.

[Amishman]

165. Brother in law shot an armed burglar

I'm pretty sure it's why he is such a huge gun nut / collector today.

He had a day off and was working on his truck in the barn. Winter day so the barn doors were closed, must have looked like no one was home. A burglar broke in through their glass sliding door. The thief was apparently exploring the neighborhood on foot and had already broken into a neighbor's house.

Brother-in-law heard the glass break. He kept a little 22 in the barn for rodent control. He took it and went to see what broke. When he approached the back door he saw the broken glass and a man inside. Burglar pulled a pistol and my brother-in-law shot him twice.

Long story short, burglar lived and ended up with a long prison sentence. Brother-in-law was not charged with anything. Burglar's pistol was not functional, he had taken it off the workbench of the neighbors house he broken into just before. Brother-in-law now owns upwards of 100 guns and is borderline obsessed with home security

[VOX]

166. As a boy, my father accidentally shot another kid in the face with a pistol.

I was searching some vintage regional newspaper back issues online, and found a cluster of articles about my 14-year-old dad who accidentally shot another boy in the face. I should say up front that the injured boy survived and had a long, successful career and kids of his own.

My dad and some other neighborhood boys found a handgun somewhere, and while my dad was inspecting it, the weapon suddenly discharged. This was in El Paso in the 1920s, so the incident was considered no big deal (never mind that a kid came within a mere inch of being killed.

Other incidenffc

[IronLionZion]

167. Yes, my uncle was murdered before I was born

no one knows who did it or why. I was named after him.

I've lost classmates to suicide, some used guns, some were drug overdose.

[VOX]

168. As a boy, my father accidentally shot another kid in the face with a pistol.

I was searching in some vintage regional newspaper back issues online, and found a cluster of articles about my 14-year-old dad who accidentally shot another boy in the face. I should say up front that the injured boy survived and had a long, successful career and kids of his own.

My dad and some other neighborhood boys found a junk handgun somewhere, and while my dad was inspecting it, the weapon suddenly discharged. This was in El Paso in the 1920s, so the incident was considered no big deal at the time (never mind that a kid came within a mere inch of being killed).

Interesting that my dad NEVER mentioned this incident while he was alive. I only learned about via online searching.

Other incidents:
-Longtime family friend, shotgun suicide. Her son (my close boyhood friend) had recently been killed in an auto accident very near his family home. A few days before his mother killed herself, she called my mom in a state of panic (a coast-to-coast call, from NC to CA), crying and absolutely bereft. She made no mention of suicide. My mom interpreted her state of mind as in keeping with the death of a child, spoke with her at length, urged her to see a therapist. The friend killed herself a few days later.

-College advisor and friend broke his ankle while skiing. He met and fell in love with a nurse
who’d helped with his physical therapy. She was recently divorced, but her husband was insane over the breakup, and he shot and killed my advisor as he was helping the nurse pack up her remaining things.

-Close work colleague lost her brother and sister-in-law to a wandering madman with a handgun. The couple drove to one of the prettiest spots on Oahu to test a new camera. While they were doing this, the emotionally disturbed man came upon them by chance. He shot and killed them on the spot.

[aikoaiko]

171. Yes, friends and family member shot in different incidents.

violence is tragic.