Only Fighter Jets Can Fix This Porn Addiction

[muriel_volestrangler]

The American Family Association advertised a 12-disc video series this morning that hopes to convince Christian men to abandon pornography by showing them high-production cinema battlefield reenactment scenes chock full of metaphors conveyed by artillery guns, fighter jets, and an overarching “battle plan for purity.”
...
The two-part box set includes five DVD films about overcoming sexual temptation, and each box includes a bonus DVD with lessons that aim to teach men how to convince their other male friends to follow their path. The item description on the KingdomWorks web store promises that upon watching the first box set, viewers will discover “Strongholds that keep men in bondage.”

“It will put a weapon in your hand that you can conquer and begin to help other men,” Roberts says in the series trailer.

“The Conquer Series is designed for men’s small groups, but is also ideal for self-study,” the site advertises.

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/only-fighter-jets-can-fix-this-porn-addiction/

Via Fred Clark at Slacktivist:

Holt avoids directly making most of the many easy entendres the subject invites, but he still reminds us that they’re there. It’s nicely done. He notes, for example, that the American Family Association says it’s series “is designed for men’s small groups, but is also ideal for self-study” … but then has the restraint to recognize that none of the four jokes occurring to us all as we read that needs to be added to elegant awkwardness of the statement as it is. (Wait … five jokes. Six!)
...
The sheer volume and size of this series is also disturbingly disproportionate. Consider what it means to commit to twelve weeks of Sunday school or small-group Bible study on this subject. It’s the same stunted, adolescent concept of “discipleship” that keeps evangelical youth-group culture perpetually motionless — the idea that God’s Plan for Your Life involves, above all else, threescore and ten years of Not Masturbating. It’s as though evangelicalism had decided to translate Micah 6:8 as “What does the Lord require of you? To never masturbate; to never masturbate; and to walk humbly with thy God never masturbating.”
...
As an answer to the beloved evangelical question “WWJD?” the response “Not masturbate” isn’t quite wrong, but it sure as heck isn’t right either. Jesus had something to say about the “weightier matters” and this ain’t one of them.

If there’s any kind of addictive behavior on display here, it’s that of a church that’s so addicted to obsessing over masturbation that it ignores the world beyond its own crotch. Ignoring a world of injustice and suffering in order to pursue your Higher Calling of not jerking off is bound to turn you into, well, a bunch of jerk-offs.

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2019/01/16/wankers/

[Vinca]

1. These must be the easiest people on the planet to con. I could be rich if I produced

even one of the phony products I've joked about making to sell to them. "Loves and Fishes Can Opener" anyone?? Use it with your "End Times Foods" order.

[DBoon]

8. It has already been done

They have been convinced to elect a complelely corrupt and incompetent president

[d_r]

12. I had an idea

to make "Christian Porn." Like package it as biblically-based marriage enhancement for one man-one woman that sort of thing. Endorsed by the good lord himself. Watch this to learn how to satisfy your man and keep satan away. But I was too lazy to do more than think of it.

[anarch]

2. pfft...shows what they know; I just jerk off to all the military hardware

"I love to watch the scenes of napalm explosions in the morning..."

[JHB]

3. And the makers of "military hardware anthropomophized as cute anime girls" games thank them...

...for the boost in their player base.

Seriously, it's a thing that exists.

[IADEMO2004]

4. Not a sky penis story? Tricked me.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6312131/US-marine-pilot-draws-penis-sky-California-year-similar-navy-incident.html

[3Hotdogs]

5. "It will put a weapon in your hands...."

I defy anyone to beat that!

[CurtEastPoint]

10. "beat"

[3Hotdogs]

13. There was a deli in our town.

They sold tee shirts,

“the deli at New Providence...you cant beat our meat.”

They made more money on the shirts than on the sandwiches

[get the red out]

6. "It will put a weapon in your hand that you can conquer....."

[maxrandb]

7. I did 30 Yrs in the Navy with many deployments on everything from Battleships to Aircraft Carriers

Trust me...THIS WON'T WORK

[safeinOhio]

9. The more forbidding the fruit

The better it taste.

[d_r]

11. ohh mmy

“It will put a weapon in your hand that you can conquer and begin to help other men,” Roberts says in the series trailer.