https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2019/01/16/dubious-splendor-thousand-hamburgers/
The dubious splendor of a thousand hamburgers
By Alexandra Petri
January 15 at 9:42 PM
Behold the feast! The delicacies came from all corners, from the Golden Arches (rescued from the Hamburglar’s clutches), from the Wendy’s of red braids and squared-off corners, from the linoleum-floored apologetic Domino’s, and from the Burger King of ominous advertisements and chicken fries they came. Clad in gleaming cardboard they came, heaped one upon the other — and smelling of hot oil.
And they were glorious and resplendent with many sauces, the sauce that is in the container that is orange and the sauce in the container that is teal, all borne upon a silver platter, to be presented to the victors.
A hecatomb of hamburgers and “many, many french fries.”
Here is your reward, you the sportsmen! If you conduct yourself in such a manner that you obtain a glorious victory, you will go unto the White House, where you will be presented with a feast fit for the president himself: some formerly warm hamburgers suppurating in their cardboard boxes on a table, some french fries under a heat lamp in little White House cups, and at least one Domino’s pizza. Are you delighted by this? You ought to be! The president is!
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