Straightsplain, Whitesplain or Mansplain - take your pick every single day
During a recent chat with a gay friend of mine about the use of the phrase ‘old queen’ and whether this is a pejorative term when used as a descriptor to dismiss the opinion of a gay man we decided it was – even though he might on occasion call himself an ‘old queen’. Quite a lot of straight people that he has met over the years have decided that of course it is not, after all they are not offended using the term, so why on earth would anyone else be? But context matters. Whether or not people within the gay community may have taken ownership of the word is neither here nor there, how a minority community chooses to express themselves has not a jot to do with what is and what is not acceptable use of language.
I hate the C word. I hate it with a passion. I hate the fact that men try and explain to me why it should not offend me. I hate the fact that because some women have decided to try to take the power out of the word by using it means that somehow the rest of us should accept the use of what is a vile pejorative used to be highly dismissive of women and their voices. It is a pejorative term and when it is directed at a woman, we have every right to be offended – whether the pejorative is directly attached to us or not. Chaps you do not get to decide that we should not be offended by the c word because you ‘did not mean it like that’.
I cannot stand the N word. It sets me on edge every time I hear it – even when it is within a context that places the N word within the black community. The phrase should have been consigned to history a long long time ago. But, shamefully, it has not been. So white folks do not get to decide whether or not they get to use it because some people within the black community have decided to try and take some ownership of the word to take the sting out of its tail. You do not get to lecture the black community on the use of the word or decide if they can use it then so can I.
I despise the P word, the Y word and the R word. What I despise most of all however is when people who are not within a minority community try to straightsplain, whitesplain or mansplain away all the reasons why you should not be offended when they use a pejorative term. Being dismissive of people’s thoughts and feelings is part of the human condition, but using language that tries to shut people out of the discussion, based on their inherent characteristics, is not only wrong, it is vile, and I am unsure whether a clearer definition of supremacy could be found. Many words cause offence – it is the way of the world - however there are some words which do much more than that. They strip away ones power and dignity in a very fundamental sense. Might one suggest that the community to whom the pejorative is attached gets to decide what words they are?
= new reply since forum marked as read
Good points. Mrs. unblock's favorite word is the c-word. Bring half-British no doubt has something to do with it, as does watching a lot of bbc america.
But that's her word. I don't use it.
I totally agree. Referring to other people as "crackers" is just repugnant. 
