General Discussion

NanceGreggs

(27,816 posts) Fri Oct 5, 2018, 10:41 PM Oct 2018

I Am a Republican Politician ...

I Am a Republican Politician …

I am willing to be a hypocrite, a fake “Christian”, and a liar full of empty campaign promises, because once elected, I know I can do whatever the fuck I please without being held accountable for my actions.

I vote to take healthcare away from the very people who are paying for mine.

I vote against raising the minimum wage, while voting for pay raises for myself and tax-cuts for the wealthy.

I have no hesitation in using taxpayer money to fund my personal lifestyle.

I have zero interest in the concerns of my constituents, and invariably take positions against their best interests.

I don’t care about protecting the environment, as long as corporate polluters donate money to my campaigns.

I don’t care about school children being gunned down, as long as the NRA fills my party’s coffers.

I don’t care about Russians attacking our election process, as long as the outcome favours my party.

I can’t be bothered to do my job acting as a check on the “pResident”, despite having sworn a solemn oath to do so.

I don’t care if those I represent are struggling to survive, as long as I have a job that pays well, offers incredible benefits and a cushy pension, and I am not expected to actually work for them.

Given a choice between what is good for the country and what is good for my party, I will always choose what’s best for my party – and myself.

I display my patriotism by railing against athletes who “take a knee”, while voting against increasing funding for the care of our veterans.

I never fear having the skeletons in my closet exposed, because those who vote for me will ignore even the worst personal behaviour and the most blatant corruption.

I rely on the fact that Republican voters are ill-informed dumb-asses, who would elect a bag of rocks if it spewed the racist, bigoted, misogynistic, homophobic and xenophobic talking points they want to hear.

I Am a Republican Voter …

I take pride in my own ignorance, stupidity, and lack of knowledge about political issues.

I think “climate change” is a hoax because it still snows in the wintertime.

I believe that Democrats want to take everyone’s guns away, let illegal immigrants flood into the country, and put abortion clinics on every corner.

I think women and minorities should “know their place” and not expect to be treated as equals.

I believe that anyone who can’t afford to pay for their own healthcare simply shouldn’t have any.

I think things like being well-educated, well-informed, and literate are highly overrated, and are only important to snobby “elitists”.

I am convinced that “the gays and lesbians” are hedonistic pedophiles, whose only goal is to “turn” straight people into homosexuals.

I am certain that “illegals” are stealing good-paying jobs from American citizens.

I believe everything FOX-News tells me to believe, and feel no need to search for facts.

I don’t mind if the politicians I vote for are self-serving liars who enrich themselves at my expense. As long as they say they’re on my side, I’ll continue to elect them.

I automatically believe that any and all allegations against Republicans are false, and any and all allegations against Democrats are true.

I believe that regulations that keep our air clean, our water potable, and our food safe should be overturned if they hurt corporate profits.

I am a “good Christian” who believes that the hungry, the sick and the homeless should fend for themselves, despite what Jesus said about our Christian obligation to care for them.

I believe that Mexicans are drug-pushing rapists, Muslims are terrorists, and Africans live in huts in their shithole countries.

I think this idea of Russian interference in our elections is just another lie told by angry Hillary supporters who can’t accept her 2016 defeat.

I am clueless about everything from domestic affairs to international affairs. I have no idea what cabinet members or Supreme Court justices do. I don’t know what NATO is, what NAFTA is, or what the UN represents. I can’t tell you where the Middle East is, nor can I tell you who won the American civil war.

What I can tell you is that I vote – and knowing who and what I’m voting for is of absolutely no importance to me whatsoever.