General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy wife said something about Kavanaugh that I can't stop thinking about.
My wife said last night: "Not all woman were sexually assaulted but we all know a Brett Kavanaugh." When she said that, I immediately thought of guys in high school and college who were Brett Kavanaughs. I suspect we have all known a Brett Kavanaugh.
It seems to me that a having a Brett Kavanaugh on the Court would be devastating to the judicial system.
Jane Austin
(9,199 posts)And so are you.
My grown sons knew plenty of Brett Kavanaueuses when they were in high school.
They received wedgies from those guys.
Arkansas Granny
(31,529 posts)that we know someone who was assaulted by a Brett Kavanaugh.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,838 posts)The good-looking guy who was the class president and the quarterback and all the girls wished he'd ask them to the prom but he was only interested in the cheerleader, and it all went to his head and he figured he could get away with anything.
Tucker08087
(621 posts)The homecoming queen, prom queen, class Vice President. We all knew Brett, too, and were victims. We were all taught to smile pretty and keep our mouths shut. It was l
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,838 posts)I was the nerd girl the football star wouldn't even talk to, let alone date, but maybe I was lucky.
Tucker08087
(621 posts)I come from a small town that funneled into a larger regional high school (100 in graduating class). I was actually kind of shy, and the boys from my town looked after me. It was like having 15 brothers. Somehow I floated through both worlds. Recently I saw someone who said, I wanted to be you. (Im 50) She looked kind of shocked when I said, You didnt miss anything. If you had 1-3 close friends, you did better than most. Its horrible to be young, awkward and vulnerable. I wish we had all been strong enough to admit it back then. You didnt miss anything.
Voices Of Reason
(16 posts)We all wish we had things that others had. Too be the most popular, the prettiest, the big man on campus, looking like a young brad pitt or a Jason mamoana. But those people have their own problems. How would you like to just go out and be left alone when everyone is attracted to you and bothering you constantly? I noticed that the most popular people were the quietest in some cases. Every advantage in life has its lists of disadvantages. I would love to look like Jason Mamoana. I would be the biggest man-whore, this world has ever seen. But would it make me happy to know that no girl is a challenge? They just take one look and want to marry you? That would get boring. The most successful people and happiest, know what their advantages are and how to use them without getting a super large ego. After saying all this, I would still want to look like Jason mamona for a week.
StarryNite
(9,460 posts)I don't know if you ever longed to be "popular" but I never did. I was happy with who I was. I'm still happy with who I am, a behind the scenes kind of person. I know some of the people who were popular in high school and still live in that past.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,838 posts)I just kept my head down and tried to avoid being teased. But at my 20th reunion I was gratified to see that the big shot football hero had become fat and bald, the former teen beauty queen was just fat, the super-popular girl looked like an old madam, and the nerds had turned out to be good-looking and successful. I'm glad I didn't peak at 17.
Mopar151
(9,998 posts)If the best week of your life was spent puking drunk, that's a piss-poor life.
LakeArenal
(28,845 posts)Maybe hes a surgeon saving lives. But... hes fat so... I feel good about myself?
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,838 posts)the kids who were fat or weird or nerdy or were otherwise not as attractive and popular as they were then. But in middle age some of those uncool attributes they once made fun of caught up with them and they weren't any more special than anyone else any more. And no, they weren't surgeons saving lives, not that that should make a difference anyhow.
Wellstone ruled
(34,661 posts)Like most,knew several and had to intervene and prevent a couple people from being harmed. In the late fifties you just shut your mouth and moved on.
Small townism.
catrose
(5,073 posts)Lotsa Bretts in the corresponding boys' school
pnwmom
(108,994 posts)kimbutgar
(21,188 posts)And in college I knew frat guys who were Brett Kavanaughs types that used to spike punch at their parties with everclear alcohol to get innocent girls drunk. I remember feeling dizzy after drinking some punch and a house members told me hed take my upstairs to lie down. My friends said no well take her back to the dorm. I also helped a girl the next semester after I realized what would have happened to me. Passed up some frat parties at certain frat houses that had badreputations.
eleny
(46,166 posts)kskiska
(27,047 posts)at the White House. Cozy-like.
zentrum
(9,865 posts)....all about short circuiting the Mueller investigation.
FakeNoose
(32,748 posts)Not every woman has been assaulted in her life, but most of us know someone who was assaulted or raped. The Brett Kavanaughs are legion especially among the privileged/wealthier/whiter schools. We've all run into guys like him, our whole lives.
The RWNJs all claimed that they hated Hillary because she thought she was "entitled." Of course we all know that's not true but they said it anyway. Kavanaugh is a classic example of "rich, white entitlement" and we all saw it on the TV last Thursday. The old boy network got him where he is now, and it will get him on the SCOTUS bench whether he deserves it or not.
zentrum
(9,865 posts)..."drain the swamp". Trump's revelations of years of corruption are now being documented but they will never see him personally as the swamp.
peggysue2
(10,839 posts)We've either known a Brett Kavanaugh, witnessed gross, inappropriate behavior or experienced an actual assault ourselves.
We've been there. Which is why this whole thing is so intense.
Kavanaugh revealed himself during his testimony--the arrogant, angry, how dare you question me demeanor. He revealed himself when he refused to acknowledge the Parkland high school father, refused to shake his hand and say the minimum, 'sorry for your loss.' The man revealed himself with the slip and slide answers during the hearing, and then resorted to partisan screeching.
We know Brett Kavanaugh. We've seen his likes before, many times.
Vinca
(50,303 posts)between a woman I've never discussed politics with and someone else. She was explaining to the person on the other end how "he was just like the boys at the private academy" she attended. I looked at her and said "Kavanaugh?" She nodded. Everyone knows a guy like Brett.
copperearth
(117 posts)Thank you for the thought. We all know a guy like Kavanaugh and it takes a very thoughtful man to admit it.
kerry-is-my-prez
(8,133 posts)I'd hate to have been a few inches shorter with no muscles.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)and by that time I was wise enough to be completely disgusted by the type. I never would have given him the time of day, but unfortunately too many women did and regretted it. They were used and abused and talked about freely around the office. It was sickening how they were treated. I wanted to spit on these men. They were so arrogant and entitled. They thought they were god's gift to women, but they had no idea how many women actually hated them.
Mopar151
(9,998 posts)They seem to be that nasty to anyone they can get away with, and quite pleased with themselves to be so.
ehrnst
(32,640 posts)catbyte
(34,451 posts)Zing Zing Zingbah
(6,496 posts)Only heard of them through media.
zentrum
(9,865 posts)But they are there now or have been there in your past.
They don't announce themselves. Don't wear signs. They don't necessarily act like public assholes like Kav does. They wait for their private moment that has no witnesses except her.
Hmmm---I just realized I was asumming you were a man. Sorry about that assumption. Really? As a woman you have never met a man like Kav? You would then be the only woman I've ever "met" who didn't.
Zing Zing Zingbah
(6,496 posts)I grew up in a rural area. There weren't very many rich people around. I was too serious about doing well in school, so I didn't do the party scene in college. The guys I was around were all engineering/computer science dorks. LOL. I know the privileged, party boy types exist, but I've never personally met this kind of person.
I've had a few people tell me that I think like a man, whatever the hell that means. Is there a distinct difference between the way men and women think? I didn't think there was, but people say stuff like that. Funny how that would come through in a post. I'm not surprised though.
zentrum
(9,865 posts)paleotn
(17,960 posts)Haggis for Breakfast
(6,831 posts)zentrum
(9,865 posts)....the Court is one of the goals of the Repugs. They seem to understand the importance of chaos as a prelude to seizing complete power.
Leith
(7,813 posts)I was lucky to have not been pretty enough for those types, though I didn't know it at the time.
edited to add: This will make my fellow DUers happy: I went to high school with the current Michigan rep Daniel Kildee, though I didn't know him personally. He was a good guy who had a steady girlfriend (also a good person who I knew well enough to greet in the hallway between classes). I never heard a bad thing about him.
MaryMagdaline
(6,856 posts)Ohiogal
(32,065 posts)Every girl in school knows a Brett. They're everywhere.
ProfessorGAC
(65,168 posts)At least one. I have no proof, but i have strong suspicions about a few guys i went to HS with.
I can see them having done something like that.
H2O Man
(73,605 posts)She is right. As you are.
IronLionZion
(45,528 posts)Our president is a Brett Kavanaugh, except he brags openly about sexual assault.
These types of guys are such douchebags. And he has admitted to planning his revenge upon the left if/when he is confirmed to join the court.
IluvPitties
(3,181 posts)I was the popular, nerdy class clown who didn't have any luck with the girls. However, all the guys we knew were true jerks had the most luck. Never understood why.
Neema
(1,151 posts)than me too, so the photos from his yearbook and the stupid shit he and his douche-bro buddies used to say...all too familiar. The difference is most of the douche-y guys from my high school peaked in high school (if you can call it that) and are still stuck in or near my home town.
VOX
(22,976 posts)Beer and weed, hash (when available), Seconal and Darvon washed down with vodka, very iffy acid (I passed), just sticking shit into our faces, from Thursday-Sunday.
We goofed around with cherry bombs, threw patio furniture into the dorm pool, played baseball in the driving rain, soccer in the hallways.
WE WERE LITTLE SHITS! I cop to it, I was high 60% of the time, world events were excessively weird, all branches of service were drafting young men, LBJ dropping out, MLK, Jr. and RFK killed, fucking Nixon, Charles Manson, the Tet Offensive, everything was going to hell at once. We were pushing back against weird times by getting weirder. (See Hunter S. Thompson.)
But heres the difference: I knew of no one who took advantage of women, let alone assault them. Not saying it didnt happen, because it probably did, somewhere nearby, even. But the rowdy group I hung with were actually decent kids, having their first taste of freedom. Our dorm was split into wings, one for each gender. One of the few rules we respected was curfew, so as not to get the women written up.
Some really terrific women actually tolerated our group, and they were never disrespected. We had all kinds of co-ed adventures, and there was no grabbing or groping or talking shit, that would not be tolerated especially while under the influence. We were busy trying to figure out the chords to something off the Beatles White Album. And talking. Ive never talked so much, and listened more, in my entire life.
Jesus, just tapping this out this recollection makes me want to hop in the hot-tub time machine and return to the late, great, 68. (And stay there!)
TomSlick
(11,109 posts)I was a band geek and a ROTC jerk. The guys that were my friends were never disrespectful to woman (that I knew of) BUT we knew the guys who at least bragged of drunken conquests, who like Kavanaugh claimed to live by the mantra of "FFFFF." We saw them sexually harassing woman - and we did nothing.
VOX
(22,976 posts)We heard the boasting, but didnt hang around the slick types. I was never a witness to any assault or harassment, but that doesnt mean it didnt happen. Knowing the odds now, it likely did happen. But somehow, it escaped me and my group.
College is a crazy time. So many big-life events going off at once, plus the pressure to keep the grades up. Its too much pressure for some, and I really get that.
Midnight Writer
(21,798 posts)Squinch
(51,007 posts)pioche4
(114 posts)And the guys that were this way, simply don't change that drastically...some who were alcoholics and are now dry, still, that brutish, pig-headedness remains. They are narcissistic, and act as if the world is owed to them. That sense of entitlement is what makes this type of guy, extraordinarily identified. Go to any school PTA (or school dad binge drinking poker game...) and you will find several prime specimens.
Nope...don't want an angry belligerent white boy on the court...I think Roberts fills those shoes already.
Grokenstein
(5,727 posts)TomSlick
(11,109 posts)HAB911
(8,914 posts)To be Borked in the American lexicon
Joe Nation
(963 posts)I didn't choose to live with this guy, he moved in after I lived there for a year and was a friend of the other guys I lived with. He was a total pervert. We all protected our women friends around this guy. Years later I found this guy on FB and out of curiosity, I friended him. He was a rabid right-winger and posted all kinds of right-wing BS. He is the only person I have ever de-friended on FB.
Squinch
(51,007 posts)those who sexually assault women? Because compassion changes everything, I think you said. In fact I'm sure of it:
https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=11210507
So shouldn't you be compassionate toward the total pervert? Gosh. You could have changed everything if only you were compassionate and not condemning...
Or is it just women who have to do that?
Grins
(7,228 posts)Responding to two female friends of hers:
"Every woman I know has, at some time in her life, been in an uncomfortable sexual situation with a boy/man, and I don't necessarily mean rape or assault, I mean feeling discomfort and confusion and sometimes fear. I'll go one step further and add that we.often remained silent, at a loss for words, even wondering if we were somehow at fault."
Translation: Everyone knows "a Kavanaugh".
She also told me she knew - personally knew - three women who had been raped and suffered the trauma from it for years. And suspected there were a lot more.
MoonRiver
(36,926 posts)We're lucky if we escaped their clutches. I even remember junior high age boys in my suburban neighborhood talking and laughing about "Spanish flies." I didn't know what that was (thought must be insects), so I asked. What they said, in very graphic terms, totally horrified me. It did teach me to be very cautious with drinks, however.
SkipG
(70 posts)she had to leave the room during Ford's testimony. Fuck those guys!
Texin
(2,597 posts)And the thing is, one doesn't have go back to the annals of high school to recall men just like him. About ten years ago I worked with a couple of young men, in their thirties, who were the sons of high profile and affluent men. I don't know if these guys ever initiated or participated in the type of sexual assaults that Kavanaugh and his running buddies did with drunken bravado back in the day. But the one thing I remember about those guys defines every one of that kind of young man: arrogance and an unfettered sense of entitlement.
Nitram
(22,879 posts)result in a horrendous "trickle-down" effect throughout the justice system and society as a whole.
Loge23
(3,922 posts)Kavanaugh reminds her of one Robert Chambers, aka the Preppy Killer.
Chambers, who went to the "best" schools was convicted of murdering Jennifer Levin in Central Park in 1986. Chambers could have easily been one of Kavanaugh's "bros" in later days.
Stuart G
(38,445 posts)librechik
(30,676 posts)The Mouth
(3,164 posts)was one of those types. Rich, arrogant, good athlete. Assaulted at least two girls I knew of (finding out after the fact, I do like to think I would have tried to stop it but I would have just gotten my ass kicked), no one messed with him - lawyers.
If he hadn't have rotted his brain with drugs and booze, and died under a bridge after burning through a half million of 'rehab' he would still be hurting everyone possible.
There is nothing more poisonous thing than arrogance to a human soul; it's the actual message of many 'holy' works when taken in their proper metaphorical teaching context. Once you think you can do no wrong, regardless of politics or context, it's all downhill.
Fortinbras Armstrong
(4,473 posts)I knew Brett Kavanaughs in both places. And I knew girls who had been assaulted by Brett Kavanaughs.