A woman writes about her teen years near Kavanaugh's prep school - a must read.

[kstewart33]

Last edited Sun Sep 23, 2018, 04:47 PM - Edit history (1)

The Atlantic:

Let me tell you what life was like as a girl in Montgomery County, Maryland, in the early 1980s. I am a year older than Christine Blasey Ford and a year younger than Brett Kavanaugh. I grew up in Potomac, Maryland, a few miles from both Holton Arms, Ford’s school, and Georgetown Prep, which Kavanaugh attended, but I went to my local public high school, Churchill. Never mind that any girl who was in high school in Potomac during that era knew, through the whisper network, not to go to a Georgetown Prep party alone. That was a given. What was also a given is that “date rape,” as a term, was in its infancy. Most of us thought getting our bodies groped at a high-school party—or anywhere—was the unfortunate price we paid for having them, not something we would ever go to the police to report.

Even in junior high school, this was true. I have a vivid memory of my friend Marcia having her skirt ripped off her body in the middle of a bar mitzvah dance floor. It had snaps down the middle. I actually heard one boy say, as she was weeping in a corner, trying to refasten her skirt, “I mean, duh. If you’re going to wear snaps on your skirt, what do you think will happen?” I made a mental note: Never wear snaps to a dance party.

For those who are reading this, please read the entire essay.

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2018/09/copaken-kavanaugh/571042/

[TexasBushwhacker]

1. EXACTLY! n/t

[elleng]

2. Keep reading,

lots more.

[FM123]

6. Yes, yes just so much more.

[sunonmars]

3. Georgetown prep sounds like it was a prep school on how to abuse women.

[NastyRiffraff]

16. It was.

I went to Holy Cross Academy, a Catholic girls' high school which was practically across the highway from Georgetown Prep. We knew about that school's reputation, and in fact experienced it first hand, even at school-sponsored social events. There was a lot of groping, suggestive teasing,etc. again at a chaperoned school-sponsored event. I can imagine what went on at private parties.

Those boys started young. I went to grade school with many of them and I was assaulted in 6th grade. I was NOT sexually advanced for my age; in fact I was a late bloomer. Yet I was grabbed by a much bigger boy, forced into a closet, and groped. I didn't dare tell anyone; I knew the nuns would blame me. We had already been told that if anything "happened" with a boy it would be our fault.

Forget Kavanaugh; as soon as I heard that school was involved I believed every word of Christine Blasey Ford's story.

[drmeow]

26. Remember,

this is a catholic prep school - the priests were modeling it for the boys!

[Nevilledog]

4. Thank you!

Her description of the atmosphere at the time really rings true for me.

[Frances]

5. We lived in North Bethesda in the 1980s

I remember one of my teenaged daughtere telling me that the Georgetown Prep boys had a bad reputation. So glad neither of my teen girls were involved with them.

Of course, rape is possible anywhere. I Lived in a dorm with a student who was raped by a fraternity boy in a car outside the fraternity house. She reported the rape to the fraternity but they did nothing. She was devastated. It was the early sixties in Alabama and it never occurred to me to suggest that she go to the police. I didn’t think the police handled cases like hers. They probably didn’t.

[underthematrix]

7. This a powerful rebuke of Kavanaugh even though it's not about him.

[mountain grammy]

14. Agree, describes how a decent man should react.

The contrast couldn’t be clearer.

[drmeow]

27. Exactly!

This paragraph is the illustration of exactly why Kavanaugh should never be put on the Supreme Court and should be removed from any court he is currently on:

And do you know what this man did, less than half an hour later? He called me on the phone and said, “Oh, Deb. Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I’m filled with shame.”

[tenderfoot]

8. Someone on twitter stated that Georgetown Prep seemed like the school in all the Law & Order shows

Law & Order, Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: Criminal Intent

[procon]

9. Do read the entire article, it's an poignant, well written essay.

In her closing paragraph, the author writes of her support for Dr Ford's brave decision, despite the risks. to come forward and confront her attacker in public by explaining what is at stake for all of us:

"The life of my daughter is at stake. Her bodily autonomy is at stake. As a mother who grew up being groped at house parties in the ’80s, I want to make sure that whoever is passing judgment on the next generation has, at the very least, judgment to pass."

[Pachamama]

10. I lived in Chevy Chase & went to Bethesda-Chevy Chase HS

Churchill was our rival public Highschool and my home was right off Connecticut Ave, not far from Columbia Country Club where my family belonged and spent summers swimming and playing tennis. Two of my close friends went to Holton Arms and we all in the area went to the same parties and yes, what she says about the G-Town Prep Boys was known and warned about. Not just around at parties in Chevy Chase, Bethesda and Potomac but when we all went to the beach on weekends and summer. We had a beach house in Rehobeth Beach and there were parties there hosted by Georgetown Prep boys and my friends and I AVOIDED them.

I am same age as Christine Blasey Ford. I know the environment she speaks of and it was my world too. I dated a boy in Highschool that abused me and he came from a prominent family and is a big wig in DC circles now. I never reported what he did to me because I was afraid what might be done to me by his family and I wouldn’t be believed. When I see pictures of him in the news I get chills. Especially when it’s pictures of his much younger wife and their new baby boy. I still don’t say anything, but if he was nominated for Supreme Court or running for Public office, I would say something because I would feel the need to protect other citizens from someone like him.

I believe Dr Christine Blasey Ford

[smirkymonkey]

19. I am so sorry for what happened to you. If there is one thing that has emerged from this

nomination is how many women have been raped and abused and how their perpetrators have never been brought to justice because of the blatant sexism against girls and women and the favoritism of rich, white boys and men. It really turns my stomach. When will this society say enough?

[zentrum]

20. ++1000 Thank you.

[MineralMan]

11. Everyone should read the entire article at the link.

Really.

[kstewart33]

12. Thank you MMan. With your recommendation, more will. nt

[Solly Mack]

13. An apology did nothing for me.

I'm glad it helped her, I am - but Nah. Changed nothing for me. I found the whole "Please forgive me" to be nothing more than insult to injury.

[renate]

30. OMG yes! "Please forgive me" vs "I am so sorry"

There is a BIG difference.

[Solly Mack]

40. I got both and neither meant anything to me.

[moriah]

38. The only time apologies were offered in my experience was to avoid consequences.

There's a difference between the guy who is apologizing right after molestation and saying he hates himself to play on my sympathy/the fact were were once friends to avoid me telling my parents immediately after, and someone 30 years later saying "I don't remember that night but I believe you, and I'm sorry. I know it doesn't change what I did, but it's all I can think to say."

One is obviously trying to manipulate, the other is at least potentially genuine.

[Solly Mack]

39. Lots of differences in the world.

Not all of them amount to anything though.

[Adrahil]

15. My wife grew up there...

Graduated high school in 1982.

I was friends with a guy from GP, class of 84.

[samnsara]

17. someone needs to investigate this school and why was it allowed to continue like this?

[DFW]

18. For a few years I went to a school nearby. The girls there knew to avoid Georgetown Prep parties

Mostly privileged, protected jocks, and that was already in the mid-sixties.

[Scarsdale]

31. Yes, the type

of men who grow up to be ruling class. Much like the entitled old pr***s on the panel, defending Kavanaugh. The "elite" So, the moral of the story is if you want your sons to grow up to respect women, send them to public schools. At least while they are available, since De Bos is swiftly changing all schools into charter schools.

[DFW]

32. I wouldn't make a statement quite that sweeping.

The school I went to down the road was a private school, too. Big difference, though. It was co-ed. It had its "elite" students, too. Bobby Kennedy's sons, Joe II and Bobby, Jr. were schoolmates of mine. Chelsea Clinton went there, as did Obama's daughters. It outgrew its conservative bent at the end of the sixties, though, and is now known for its environmental projects and far more enlightened outlook.

[handmade34]

21. excellent essay!!

the sincere apology is what I would expect from any decent man... Kavanaugh has proven himself to be less than a decent man

only with the act of confronting the wrongdoing, expressions of sincere feelings and apologies can any of us move forward...

[Scurrilous]

22. K&R

[dlk]

23. The Victim-Blaming, Stemming from Unearned Entitlement, is Overdue for Retirement

[B Stieg]

24. Well Said! (n/t)

REGISTER and VOTE!

[elias7]

25. This is why Republican women to say that every 18-year-old male does this

Because they have all been abused as well

[Books_Tea_Alone]

28. I arrived in DC for college in 1985

The culture was unreal (and I had come from northern NJ and had hung out in NYC and wealthy suburban parties during high school, similar to GP) The private university I attended in NW DC, close to the Bethesda/ Chevy Chase border made alcohol the prime focus at UNIVERSITY sponsored freshman orientation events. There were huge trucks parked outside the dorms dispensing beer during orientation every night the first week, and all freshmen went on a Spirit of DC Potomac cruise the second night with free alcohol as well. The drinking age was 18 and there was a tavern on campus that also served free alcohol during freshman orientation. I was not surprised that freshman drank, just that the university provided and sponsored these events. I have 3 kids in college now, one at the same university, and so much has changed.

[calimary]

29. Remarkable essay.

Amazing that the perpetrator in question actually acknowledged what he did and apologized.

He went to AA and got sober? That may be why he apologized. You enter the AA world and soon you’re on the 12-Steps path. One of those steps is about making amends to those you offended or hurt. Evidently this man has taken his recovery work seriously.

[IluvPitties]

33. What kind of upbringing did these boys have?

[Demsrule86]

34. This made me cry. I went to high school in a wealthy town in Connecticut starting at

12 or 13 some of the men who's kids I babysat for put their hands on my knee and made overtures ...it was part of being a girl back then honestly, we laughed about it. I never never told my parents. Most of the men involved were friends of my Dad. I remember being held after school by a math teacher (Mr. Call me Steve Smith) who chased me and others around the desk...the science teacher that measured my skirt and ran his hand up my thigh...again I never told my parents...didn't seem unusual for the times. I remember never leaving a drink on the table and accepting nothing without a cap on it...unopened at bars or parties. We understood about slipping something into our drinks.

I was at a party at 16 where a girl who was known as a straight arrow was slipped something...we never knew what but she went 'crazy' took most of her family and the police to get her into the ambulance. She never came back to school. We laughed about the treatment we received and never never told our parents. My Mother told me a boy is only as good as the girl he is with thus if he was bad, it was your fault. I don't blame my Mother for this. She was from a different time.

My best friend was raped by three men who dragged her into a van while she was smoking outside a club. She was a virgin... But she was told that she went to a club so she was obviously looking for it (sarcasm). None of the men were ever prosecuted. I was almost raped at 18...very lucky to escape. This was the life back then...and we never told our parents.

This is the 'Make America Great' again that Trump and men like Kavanaugh who may have rendered women unconscious with drugs and alcohol in order to have sex with them...also called rape want back. I say NO...never again. We shrugged, laughed and cried' We blamed ourselves for what men like Kavanaugh and Trump did to us and never told our parents.

I hope girls today will tell their parents and send men like Trump and Kavanaugh to jail. Brett Kavanaugh should be prosecuted in Maryland along with his rapey friends. There is no statue of limitation for rape in Maryland. Kavanaugh is unfit to be a judge of any sort and should never be seated on the Supreme Court.

[3catwoman3]

35. Your mom's words sound exactly like what I was taught.

It was made repeatedly clear to me that not only was I responsible for my own sexual behavior, I was also responsible for the sexual behavior of any guy I dated.
- Men and boys just can’t help themselves.
- There were only so many kisses you could engage in before tempting fate (I used to count - more than 6 and it was time to put on the brakes).
- Don’t ever sit on a boy’s lap.
- To cause arousal that was left unsatisfied (no sex) was cruel, because erections that couldn’t proceed to their natural conclusion were painful.

Being responsible for both my behavior and the guy’s was a heavy and unfair burden to bear. I know my mother’s intentions were good - she did not want me to have sex before I was married, and, certainly, not to get pregnant out of wedlock. She was born in 1922, and I in 1951. She was a nurse, and taught me everything about about “the birds and the bees” in great detail, even bringing out her nursing school OB-GYN text book. She is still alive, at 96.

If I were a man, I would be insulted to have it assumed that I could not, or worse, did not have to be, responsible for my own behavior because of my genitalia.

That kind of bullshit thinking has gone on for far too long.

[Demsrule86]

36. My Mom was a nurse too...and she told us so much detail about the birds and the bees

that it was boring!

[3catwoman3]

37. Definitely TMI at times.

Better than being uninformed, to be sure.