Hey, Donwald! While You're Fretting over the Bad News This Weekend,
Here's an one-time offer you won't be able to resist! One word: Resignation. That's your out, but there's a limited time to take advantage of this offer. Act now, or time will run out. Think about these things:
1. You haven't been charged with anything yet.
2. You know what's coming, and it's going to be ugly.
3. If you resign, you can simply walk away from all of it.
4. Mike Pence will pardon you, whatever charges may occur.
5. You'll get to keep your Secret Service protection. You'll need that, for sure.
6. All anyone want is for you to go away, so the pressure will be off.
7. Putin's getting less happy by the day, and that can't be good.
8. Look at all those folks who are going to prison. They'll all talk.
9. You have lots of places you can go and hide out.
10. You'll get one last flight on AF1 to your destination of choice.
Sounds good, right? But wait! There's more!
If you act immediately, you won't ever have to go to prison. Ask yourself what that's worth to you, and you'll make the right choice.
So, while you're in NJ at your golf resort, look at that list of ten tremendous advantages. You can even tweet your resignation. Here's what to say:
"I hereby resign the office of President of the United States, effective immediately."
Everything will be taken care of from there. They'll even pack up your belongings and get them to wherever you wish. FREE SHIPPING, TOO!
So fire up your Tweeter now, and copy and paste the quote above. Then, tap "Tweet." That's all you have to do. Everything will be taken care of from there!
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