'The Onion' Proudly Stands With The Media As The Enemy Of The People

[Miles Archer]

‘The Onion’ Proudly Stands With The Media As The Enemy Of The People



In recent days, President Donald Trump has increased his criticism of the media, and at a briefing Thursday, his press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, controversially refused to walk back his statements. Recognizing that unity in the journalistic profession is absolutely essential to allowing reporters to bravely and securely practice their craft, The Onion announces that we proudly stand with our brothers and sisters in the media as the enemy of the people.

When the Trump administration refers to news organizations as antagonists to the American public, we know exactly what they’re doing: correctly identifying the awesome power that we hold over the slobbering masses and trying to drive a wedge between the public and the fourth estate. Rest assured, however, that this wedge was already there. We in the news media despised you imbeciles long before Trump, and we’ll despise you long after he’s gone.

Honestly, you empty-headed dipshits who can barely process a simple headline or understand its meaning should be happy we interact with you at all.

An utter contempt for the idiotic multitudes has been a cornerstone of American journalism virtually since its inception, and we at The Onion are grateful for our colleagues at hallowed institutions such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, and CNN who have served as pioneers in relentlessly tormenting the public by obscuring the truth, promoting wanton hysteria, and lying to their faces. We stand alongside them as staunch enemies of everyday Americans.

https://www.theonion.com/the-onion-proudly-stands-with-the-media-as-the-enemy-1828068740

[donkeypoofed]

1. That was a well written takedown!!

[lapfog_1]

2. This well written response

is sarcasm at a level unlike most of sarcasm in history.

Unfortunately, it also demonstrates the difficulty in writing sarcasm in the age of Trump. Most of his supporters will simply not get it as sarcasm.

[mucifer]

14. They wrote it for us. They know the trump supporters are a lost cause. Enjoy it!

[enid602]

3. Sarah

Sarah won't be able to get a table in Branson, MO when this is over.

[rzemanfl]

7. Good one. n/t

[dalton99a]

4. Kick

[chelsea0011]

5. Nice

"Honestly, you empty-headed dipshits who can barely process a simple headline or understand its meaning should be happy we interact with you at all." Too funny

[dhill926]

6. That was good...really good...

[Amaryllis]

8. Trumpsters will not know this is satire.

[DRoseDARs]

12. Except it's not satire. One of the few times they weren't doing satire.

Bitingly sarcastic, absolutely, but not satire. They're just as burnt out on this shit as the rest of us, but they weren't about to not chime in when the free press was attacked. Not criticized, attacked by this Administration.

[erronis]

15. I get dizzy just trying to figure which way is right/left in this wonderful piece.

Sort of makes me think about that puzzler.

When a person comes to a fork in the road there are two twins, one who always tells the truth and one who always lies.

How can he frame one question to one of the twins to find the right path to go to St. Ives?

I feel like the press needs to start using negative questions to that spokesthing to get at reality. Or double/triple negative.

Better, the press needs to start laughing whenever the mouth opens.

[DRoseDARs]

18. What I'd like to see is silent, stony protest...

The press corp enters the room and take their seats as usual, and when Aunt Liedia enters the room, she's met with stone-cold silence. Not even the rustling of papers, hands folded neatly in laps, accusatory eyes upon her. After the briefing, report nothing she said, only that a unified front (maybe even FOX, this latest escalation has to make even them uncomfortable and there has been dissension in their ranks) sat quietly in protest.

[rurallib]

13. soon the Onion will be the go to spot for the nazi right

[uponit7771]

17. +1

[Honeycombe8]

9. "Relentlessly tormenting the public." LOL. That's good. That's really good. nt

[KY_EnviroGuy]

10. After all, pen and journal pad attacks are up 20% Y-o-Y.....

which clearly calls for Hannity, Limbaugh and others to counter-attack and brew much more KKKool-Aid... .....

Thanks for the afternoon chuckle, Miles Archer.......

[erronis]

16. They'll have to check in with Sinclair, Murdoch, Kochs(?), Mercers, Putin first.

Can't be caught not towing the potty line.

[NotASurfer]

11. Wonder if North Korean state news will pick this story up?

Don't think it would be the first time they presented The Onion as a mainstream news organization if I recall

Though compared to Faux News...