Breaking: Fox News Changes Long-Time Slogan

[MineralMan]

NYC, July 28, 2018

Fox News Adopts New Slogan to Reflect Its Political Philosophy

by MineralMan

In a surprise move this weekend, Fox News announced that it was dropping its long-time slogan, "Fair and Balanced." A FNC spokesblonde said, "That slogan was so, you know, like, 90s and stuff. It was, well, you know, time for a change (upspeak)."

The new slogan, which will be rolled out on Wednesday, August 1, is...wait for it...

"Toward A White, Right America!"

In a tweet from Donald J. Trump, we learned that the POTUS is down with the new slogan. "America First! was just the beginning, and Fox News, the only Real News outlet, has the right idea with this. Nationalism is our new direction, and it is 'White Nationalism,' I hate to say. Believe me, you'll thank me!'"

Reaction from other news networks was muted. When we tried to reach their spokespersons, all were unavailable, due to severe regurgitation afflictions. We hope to speak to them soon to get an alternative opinion.

[Mike Nelson]

1. Must be a lost and found press release...

Last edited Sat Jul 28, 2018, 04:55 PM - Edit history (1)

… hasn't the new slogan been in effect for a couple years?

[MineralMan]

2. No, I swear...I just got this today!

Believe me...

[TheBlackAdder]

3. And here I thought it was "Unregistered Foreign Agent"

[MineralMan]

4. That's the double-secret probation slogan.

Not for public display.

[Fozzledick]

5. I think they should stick with "Fake and Biased"

But then I'm not sure whether to pronounce them as "faux" or "fakes".

[mitch96]

6. ""Toward A White, Right America!" "

Your kidding me, right? (upspeak)... Why don't they just throw the swastika in there too...
uggh..... How about a yellow star of David for good measure...
m

[oberliner]

7. Please identify a source for this

Or if you are just making it up as a joke, please make that clear in the subject line as well as the body of the message.

[MineralMan]

9. Did you notice the byline of the story?

FFS...

[USALiberal]

10. Mark it as sarcasm. nt

[Gothmog]

8. Dear idiot Fox News guest, being a victim of a racism is far worse than being called a racist.

Link to tweet