Bye-bye baby. Our longtime love, dB, has passed.
Last edited Wed Jun 27, 2018, 02:25 AM - Edit history (4)
Okay. It's just a cat. But the day after she left us, I'm still messed up. dB was a tabby - a "classic tabby" according to definition and markings. It's if they have a round bull's eye marking on each side - from which the other tabby stripes spread, as widening concentric circles. We'd just lost a kitten to one of those dreaded kitten-killer diseases. We were still shaken by that, when the vet called. Somebody had dumped a kitten at their door. She was very small, believed to be too young to have left her mother, and she had HUGE ears and one bad eye. But the lady at the vet's office thought we might be interested since we had a very recent vacancy. My husband went. He was told they'd have to keep her for a couple of weeks so she could gain strength. He'd brought a dampened washcloth with him and, when formally introduced, took her in his hands and gently started to groom her with the washcloth, trying to make the same motions that a mama cat would - in licking her kitten clean. The lady at the vet took one look at that and changed her mind: "aw, hell, go ahead and take her. Looks like she'll be just fine!" We named her dB after the initials of the lady at the vet, who was also a musician.
Approximately 20 years later, dB had had a sudden stroke, late last year, a coupla months before we moved. She recovered but was quite handicapped. Couldn't walk normally anymore, as though her back half wasn't communicating clearly with her front half anymore. But she skittered around all over the house, and still almost broke land speed records when I set her food dish down. In the last couple of months, I'd set up a makeshift "kitty hospice" for her in our laundry room, so I could isolate her from our other animals. The two other cats could be kinda rough on her and the dog would empty her water dish. And they'd all steal her food.
She'd been fading for weeks, growing more feeble and frail, but took a turn for the worse over the weekend. My husband and I had gone out to run an early errand but had to turn around and return to the house. We were ten minutes away. She was barely alive when we'd left, and gone by the time we got back. We took her to the vet and it was officially confirmed.
SHIT. What a blow! I can't believe it but we're both still among the walking wounded, a day later. dB watched our kids grow from elementary school age all the way to moving out, and heading off on their own, as 20-somethings. And yet, she persisted. I thought of posting about it yesterday afternoon, but I wasn't in the mood for doing ANYTHING. Today's only a little better.
I found a photo of her during better (healthier and younger) times but I can't get imgur.com to work the way it used to. I'd still love to post it, though.
(ON EDIT: Check post #59, below. A photo of dB during younger, healthier days! Thanks to DUer catbyte and DUer mnhtnbb, I've discovered a different photo delivery system!)
She's the oldest cat we ever had, sweet as can be, and had a low scratchy meow. She liked to head-butt people sitting on our couch, by climbing up onto the top of the couch and making her way over to her target. She'd also mess with your hair from that vantage point. LOVED her LOVED her LOVED her. And now we MISS her MISS her MISS her. That laundry room seems so lonely.
Anyway, just thought I'd share. It'll help me get over it. And I'd rather focus on her than the multiple and seemingly never-ending shitty news of the day. DU was so comforting to me more than a decade ago when I'd posted that my mom had died. Thanks for bearing with me - again.
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I am so sorry.
...the furry ones worm their way into our hearts and live... for the better, and are sorely missed when they depart.
This is one of the things I REALLY love about DU. We bring up all kinds of things here. Involving every species! Two-legged, four-legged, winged, scaled, and otherwise! My mom died in late 2006. I got home from the hospital late at night. Feeling numb yet turbulent in a quiet part of the house, I posted about it here. Just an impulse. Within just a few minutes I was overwhelmed. Posts had started coming in almost immediately, and they just kept coming! It was incredibly therapeutic to take in, to read through the posts, to get to know and understand how really lovely people, here, are. I've often compared it to all these many pairs of shoulders that will buoy you up. Well, sure helped me, too. Every time I remind about it in some post or other, I'm halfway hoping enough of those who posted on that thread back then will see it, and consider it an ongoing thank-you.
What your husband did with the washcloth was very good. I once saved a kitten by holding it while I brushed it with a toothbrush. I gave it food in an eye dropper and let it latch on to one of the small moles on my neck. The kitten responded very well and started getting noticeably better in a couple of days. It grew up to be a very handsome cat.
in your heart and leaves a big space when they leave - it hurts like hell. I'm sorry, she was so lucky to have you and your family. RIP dB
We think we know, but it's not till we lose them that the full force of the love and loss hits us.
Of course you MISS MISS MISS her.
Take comfort in that you gave her a full life filled with love and caring.
I know the pain, I went through it twice last year myself. It's a heartbreaking, gut-wrenching feeling of deep sadness and loss. I'm sorry you're having to experience this now.
As someone who has found the last stray bit of fur and packed away the last of the personal items that were just too personal to keep seeing from day to day, I will say you'll always miss her, but try and focus on the better days and the happy memories.
Our fur family members fill our hearts and lives with pure unconditional love. It's a bittersweet trade-off when their too short lifespans steal them from us so soon.
easy to have our furry friends leave us.
Seems like it has all been said, but holding you all in the light.
The kitty was a member of your family for 20+ years
Never had a cat. I'm a dedicated dog person but know that the hardest part of having furry friends in our lives is when they die. I've had dogs since I was a kid and my husband shares the pup love. Every time we've lost once of our pups to old age or age-related illness, it's a new blow, a new grief.
The good part is that they leave an indelible mark and their lives are like calendars of our own. I can tell you exactly what was going down in own my life depending in what dog was standing at my knee (or hip if I'm talking about my two Berners 
).
They don't leave completely: Teddy, Bingo, Winston, Tracey, Misty, Breena & Ruffian. They're still roaming around my memory and always bring up a smile. Can't beat that!
The downside is that we invariably outlive them. That's a bad design flaw IMHO.
She sounds like an exceptionally sweet member of your family.
Goodby, little DB. Poof! You were loved!
We had to help our Sassy over the bridge and she was just a few weeks shy of her 23rd birthday. She only weighed in at about 4-6 pounds her entire life, but she wouldn't hesitate to bop our 100 pound GSD in the nose at times. I'm sorry for your loss!
Having been a mom to 5+ kitties, I can SO relate. I feel my nose turning red and now there's that moist trickle at the corner of my eyes. You bring back the feelings of loss.
I'll echo "there no such thing as *just a cat*" (or even *just a dog*). Our pets ARE our children and our friends. They bring out good, empathetic people's parental instincts as much as our flesh&blood children. I often said "I wished my son had been half as sweet and minding as our B-collie." 
We pet owners understand your grief all too well. Cats can be our closest companions - had a (17yo) Siamese who was always within 1' of me all of my homebound hrs. She slept curled up w/me every night.
Post her pic when you can.
for dB
for you.
- d
[IMG]
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On viewing the "preview" mode, THERE SHE IS! This was back in very much healthier days! But you can see the problem she had with her right eye. Still such a pretty kitty.
Only problem with this shot is, it's 90-degrees off. Should rotate once to the right.
THANKS for this advice, catbyte! This one worked!
I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful tribute to her.
(You would be able to embed this rotated photo in your OP if you wish by right clicking on the photo and then copy and paste--left click-- the Copy Image Location link.)
Mine was such a big handsome boy. I feel your pain. I still miss him from when he went to kitty heaven over 6 months ago.
That's the way it's supposed to be.
I’m in tears for your loss.
It takes a lot of time to feel better.
I could as part of my grieving . You chose to share some with DU . Thank you and I understand about spots of the house seeming empty
It's never easy! I am so sorry for your loss.
So sorry!
but a beloved family member ... I'm so sorry
losing our furry friends/companions. May you have peace that db has peace. 
It's hard saying good by. My brother and s-i-l just lost their darling cat at 19 years. As with you, she was with them longer then any of their kids. My brother tells me he'll walk into a room expecting to see her, or when they come home expect to see her greet them at the door. It will take time. You will move on, but you will never forget, she'll always be in your heart. You gave that darling girl 20 wonderful years of comfort, caring and love. Without you both, who knows what kind of a life she would have had. RIP dB.
The quality of our lives are made so much the better by these kind of relationships.
Calimary, you have my sympathy and support.
The cost of of our dear pets is paid in tears when we lose them. It never gets any easier.
We have found some solace in keeping their collars and tags on view hanging from a framed mirror in our foyer. One of these days I will do as I had planned two dogs ago. Make a shadow box sort of thing with their collars and tags encircling their pictures.
Doing that has proven too painful.
But one of these days . . . . . I will.
So sorry for your loss.
I hope you can find some peace during this hard time.
Of beloved db. Rip run free 🐾🐾🐾💕🐈 Our fur-babe’s spirits hang around to watch over us and she is forever in your heart so talk to her and cherish all the memories. 20 years is a long time and a huge loss. I have just lost my girl to saddle thrombus after an extended illness, it is very difficult not to have her here with me now. She is the last of 5 over nearly a 20 year period. I’m trying to post an image but it may not work so here is a poem as well:
According to Norse Legend, the sacred Rainbow Bridge called Bifrost connects Midgard (the realm of humankind) with Asgard (the realm of the Gods). Also known as Asabru ("Bridge of Gods" , Bifrost was magically constructed from fire, water and air...whose quivering and changing hues it has retained. Not only do the Gods use this Bridge to travel to and from the Earth, it also leads to the Urdar Well, situated at the foot of the great ash Yggdrasil, where they assemble daily in council.
Of all the Gods onlyThor, God of Thunder, never passes over the Bridge for fear it might be demolished by his heavy tread and lightning bolts. The Watchman God Heimdall stands guard over over Bifrost night and day. Armed with a trenchant sword, he carries a trumpet called Giallar-horn, upon which he generally blows a soft note to announce the coming or going of the Gods. However, Heimdell is destined to sound a terrible trump at the dawn of Ragnarok...the time the Frost Giants will unite with Surtr to destroy the world. During Ragnarok...the end of the cosmos...it is said that Bifrost, the Rainbow Bridge, will collapse and shatter beneath the weight of the monsters
The following poem is inspired by this Norse Legend
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.
For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.
They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.
For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.
The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.
-- Steve and Diane Bodofsky --
[link:https://www.google.com/search?q=link+to+cat+sympathy+image&client=safari&hl=en-us&prmd=ivsn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjg1s-jyfLbAhWIzVMKHRiEC-MQ_AUIESgB&biw=1024&bih=657#imgrc=5MLu9Nj-R6SUbM:|
I know the feeling. It's painful.
dB was family and a sad loss to you and yours.
A wise decision to watch Star Trek-- much better than what is on the news!! You know that your DU family is here for you, with love and hugs and support and understanding.
And I've been there, too. It never does get any easier. One thing that might help is to remember how fortunate she was to have found you. 
