Fox News: Rapture Coming April 23

[Stallion]

just in time to save Dear Leader Trump so he can remain President of the good white evangelicals forever-take that Mueller

http://www.foxnews.com/science/2018/04/11/biblical-prophecy-claims-rapture-is-coming-april-23-numerologist-says.html

[lunasun]

1. Under thier science segment

Ha Fox News

[Matthew28]

2. This is nuts

[kedrys]

3. ...but I have tickets to Avengers: Infinity War on the 27th...! n/t

[Initech]

5. And also Deadpool 2 on May 18th!

The world can't end then!

[Initech]

4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! We're all gonna die!!!!

[lkinwi]

6. Darn, I have a fun day planned for the 28th.

[MLAA]

7. Good, Im glad somebody will carry off the evangelicals

[Va Lefty]

8. Important Info for evangicals

[smirkymonkey]

9. How many raptures have we had so far?

I have lost count. Anyway, I hope this one is the real thing. I plan to do some serious looting after it's over.

[SDJay]

10. Anybody Need Any Rapture Insurance?

I know some nice atheists that will take care of your dogs and kitties after you're lifted to the sky!

[Stallion]

11. Mexican Caravan Will Be able to Quickly Find New Housing

[Ferrets are Cool]

12. Is that the day inShannity and the PGIC have decided to

start WWIII?

[elocs]

13. Let me say that in another life some 40 years ago I studied the Rapture to better defend it.

And I ended up coming out on the other side and not believing it to be true and not even good Biblical exegesis. Lots of verses need to be tortured and forced together like jigsaw pieces from different puzzles to come up with a blurry picture that called "The Rapture", a term that does not even appear in the Bible. I studied the important words relating to the doctrine of the Rapture in their original languages which often renders a different meaning than the King James English. But the Rapture plays well to the unlearned Christian masses who never really study the Bible or know it other than what they hear spouted at them over the pulpit or on tv.

A funny story about the Rapture that I knew about from all those years ago. I belonged to a strict Pentecostal church--no tv or movies, women must wear dresses and never cut their hair--a "holiness" church. The youngest brother of a friend there was 10 years old and he tried to live the holiness life, but I think it was Star Wars that was coming out and so he snuck off with friends to see it on a Saturday afternoon. When he got home nobody was there so he tried to call around to find his parents or brother and no luck. He kept trying to call others in the church but couldn't get them either. Now he started to panic because he was convinced that the Rapture had happened and he was, LEFT BEHIND because he went and saw a movie.
Like myself he eventually became an atheist and was a standup comic and he used that story in his act.

[GulfCoast66]

14. My standard response when someone carries on about the rapture

And how we are in the end times...

‘Can I have your truck when you are gone?’

Try it. You will like it.

[Wounded Bear]

15. ...and no, I don't want your dog...

[Stallion]

16. Better ask If you Can Pick it Up on April 22 Because the Keys Might be in His Pockets

[Major Nikon]

17. Too bad it couldnt be before tax day

Seems like there’s a message there.

[Takket]

18. "fucking idiot says delusional shit"

alternate title

[Blue_true]

19. Eventually an asteroid will hit us and they will get it right. nt