Panicked Billy Graham Realizes He Took Wrong Turn Into Heaven's Largest Gay Neighborhood

[Zorro]

THE HEAVENS—As he entered the Pearly Gates and walked the gold-paved streets of God’s Eternal Kingdom, the late Rev. Billy Graham was reportedly so overwhelmed Wednesday by the great majesty before him that he did not at first notice he had taken a turn leading him down the main thoroughfare of heaven’s largest gay enclave.

“Oh no, oh—Where am I, exactly?” said the celebrated evangelist, who witnessed numerous same-sex couples making out upon Heaven’s lush green pastures and became disoriented when a crowd of shirtless, muscular homosexual men poured out of a nearby nightclub and streamed past him on every side. “This can’t possibly be right. I am in Heaven, aren’t I?”

According to heavenly sources, Graham, who during his life referred to homosexuality as “a sinister form of perversion,” shrugged, smiled, and continued walking straight into the neighborhood’s largest bath house.

https://www.theonion.com/panicked-billy-graham-realizes-he-took-wrong-turn-into-1823199623

[True Dough]

1. I can just imagine...

[TlalocW]

2. Reminds me of a joke

In order to streamline getting into Heaven, St. Peter enlists several angels to help with the process. So every day outside the Pearly Gates, while the souls of ex-people are waiting, angels come out and organize everyone into two big groups. Everyday one group enters first, often shooting smug looks at the other one, and they enter. Half an hour later, an angel leads the other group in and gives them the tour, showing them where everything is on a quick walking tour - the gyms, libraries, movie theaters, where God lives, etc. However, at the same spot every day, no matter which angel is acting as tour guide, he or she will turn to the group and admonish them to be very, very quiet as they walk by what looks like a gated community. No noise! Soon the tour is over, and everyone is free to roam about Heaven, but one day a member of the second group asks what was in the gated community, and why did they have to be so quiet, and why did that other group get to go first? "Oh, well, it's all related," replied the angel tour guide. "That first group was nothing but Southern Baptists, and the gated community is where we take them straightaway. We just found it's easier for everyone if they think that they're the only ones getting in."

TlalocW