on behalf of everybody who never got asked to dance in high school... the hearts mean a lot to us

[renate]

I don't want to sound like a character in a Lifetime movie, but even though I'm more confident and less bashful than I was in high school, I still never really expect things like a valentine heart. It truly means a lot, to everybody of course but especially those of us who still kind of think of ourselves as wallflowers. Thanks so much!

[Yonnie3]

1. I avoided situations in High School where I'd be a wallflower

I know what you mean, so here is another one for you.

[renate]

4. thank you so much!

[dewsgirl]

2. Your post is so sincere and sweet, I just had to let you know.

[renate]

6. thank you!

[smirkymonkey]

3. That's sweet. I tried to give everyone who was heartless a heart for that very reason, but

I have spent more money than I intended to. It would be nice if someone else could pick up the baton and be the heart fairy now. I notice there are still a few people without them.

[renate]

5. you have brightened many people's days!

How kind of you!

[Yonnie3]

9. I've been doing the same. n/t

[smirkymonkey]

19. Good for you! I'm glad!

[montana_hazeleyes]

38. Looks like many of us are

trying to make sure everyone gets a heart. That's one of the things I love about DU.

[oberliner]

13. You are truly one of the kindest

We are all grateful that you are a part of this community.

[scarletwoman]

40. Not to worry, I've been playing heart fairy all day, as well.

Clicking on one thread after another, looking for posters with no hearts and giving them one. I also made an extra large donation this year so I could spread the love as much as possible.

I'm quite sure you and I aren't the only ones - it's how we DUers roll!

[smirkymonkey]

41. That's great! Thanks scarletwoman!

It's a win-win all the way around! I hope more people get inspired! It really does feel good to donate and give hearts away!

[smirkymonkey]

42. I just noticed you didn't have a heart, and I swore I wouldn't sign up again, but I did.

You are a good person for what you are doing and you deserve a few hearts at least!

[scarletwoman]

45. Oh gosh - that's so very sweet of you!

You went and spent more when you'd already gone overboard! Honestly, I was really okay with just giving hearts and didn't need to get any.

[smirkymonkey]

46. No problem! It's all for a good cause and it's nice to spread the love!

[renate]

51. you're a sweetheart, and it makes me happy to see you and smirkymonkey being extra sweet together!

[scarletwoman]

52. Well, your OP was so sweet I had to click on this thread.

And then there was Smirkymonkey's post about being a "heart fairy" - this whole thread is lovely!

[ProudMNDemocrat]

7. I can count on one hand, the number of......

Dances I attended in high School in 4 years.

[renate]

8. funny how at least a little bit of that sticks with you into adulthood, isn't it?

Or maybe just me

[leftyladyfrommo]

11. I think I went to one.

And had to come home early because of an anxiety attack.

[MBS]

10. Thank you.

Valentines Day has always been my least favorite holiday, for just the reasons you said. And I get so much pleasure out of those little hearts, also for the reasons you said.

[Kingofalldems]

12. Here's one from someone who never attended a dance.

[oberliner]

15. Thank you for your generosity

We are all elevated by your presence here.

[Kingofalldems]

21. Interesting post.

[oberliner]

56. My favorite part of DU is how friendly and kind we are to one another

Especially when this heart promotion rolls around.

You are one of the kindest (even though we disagree sometimes on some issues).

[renate]

22. thank you so much!

[Siwsan]

14. I think this is the sweetest post I've read, in ages!

I was never asked to a prom, but I was honored to be given the lead role in our Senior play (Blithe Spirit - I played Ruth), which was the apex of my high school experience. We all shine in our own special way!

[Boomerproud]

37. I never got asked to the prom either and that was 1974.

I still hate prom season for that reason. My niece and nephews' classes had a better idea-everyone dressed up and went.

[oberliner]

16. They mean a lot to the popular crowd too

Just a darn nice thing to do.

[H2O Man]

17. Recommended.

Beautifully said.

[StarryNite]

18. You speak for a lot of us.

[Aristus]

20. I'm a guy who grew up in the 70's and early 80's.

I went to elementary school and junior high school dances, and was a wallflower most of the time. Too shy to ask a girl to dance most of the time, and too awkward for any girl to want to say 'yes' if I asked her.

I didn't attend dances in high school.

I was never asked to the Tolo (or Sadie Hawkins dance, or whatever you called it when the girls ask the guys.). And the girl I asked to Senior Prom turned me down because she was hoping my younger brother would ask her. I was decades getting over that one.

I'm an adult now. Healthy, happy, fulfilled, and confident.

But the hearts still mean a great deal to me.

Thank you everyone.

[Mr.Bill]

23. I'm happily married, but

if we ever meet, would you dance with me? I know my wife wouldn't mind.

[renate]

24. I'd love to!

[Permanut]

25. Bittersweet memories..

I was lucky enough to go to almost all of the high school dances, and was in the club that planned and hosted some of them. Also lucky enough to be going steady with the girl of my dreams. Put her on a pedestal, worshiped the ground she walked on, and planned to spend the rest of my life with her.

So far so good. But just after graduation, she broke up with me. I kinda spiraled down emotionally for several years, because then I had no future. Got it back together eventually, never saw her again, married someone else. That marriage lasted 18 years, but me and my current little partner have been together for 30 years, so that's all good.

Saw her obituary in the paper several years ago, and it was odd to think back on those times, that were so good, something right out of American Graffiti, and how it all came crashing down. Makes those memories kinda mixed now, remembering the good times, and how it ended.

[renate]

30. bittersweet indeed

It sounds like it still hurts, at least a little. No matter how long ago it was, it's painful to remember a lost love, especially when you had your future with her all figured out and had to rebuild. But I'm so glad you're happy now!

It must have felt unreal to see her obituary... what a punch in the gut that must have been.

[DeminPennswoods]

26. I avoided social contact in high school

like the plague. I'm still nerdy, but I no longer care if that bothers anyone or not.

[renate]

36. nerds are my favorite!

I love your/their enthusiasm about interesting things!

[DeminPennswoods]

53. That's the great thing about forums like this,

you are what you write. Age, education, appearance don't matter.

[FuzzyRabbit]

27. To quote Bill Clinton "I feel your pain".

Renate, even though I'm a guy, I know how you feel. When I was a kid I wasn't good at sports, so I was always picked last when we picked teams. Sometimes I wasn't even picked.

I'm in my 70s now, and I still sometimes feel left out.

Anyway, I gave you a heart, and I am retroactively asking you to dance with me.

[renate]

33. awwww... I would love to!

Thank you!

Boys and men have it really tough too. It's so rough the way that things that happen (or don't happen) in our childhood can shape the way we feel about ourselves for decades. We think of childhood as lasting just until the age of 18, but it lasts forever, really.

[StarryNite]

34. Asking her to dance...

something about that literally brings tears to my eyes, just so sweet.

[greymattermom]

28. I never did either

and I always thought it was because I was fat (not fat at all by today's standards though). Recently my sister told me that it was because I was too smart. This was over 50 years ago. We both left town and return once a year for Derby.

[renate]

35. being too smart is a pretty happy reason!

[sinkingfeeling]

29. You are correct.

[magicarpet]

31. Hugs !

https://goo.gl/images/bxhCdG

[jalan48]

32. As I remember most of the guys stood and watched while the girls danced together.

[Ferrets are Cool]

39. Ditto that renate!!

[Hoyt]

43. Dang, if only we all could have had a dance. Didn't go to Prom, and when I did go to HS dance, I'd

stand against wall with the other geeks like me looking stupid.

Years later I ran into a girl from my senior class. She asked why I didn't ask them out, could have kicked myself. Pretty much same in college. But I did study a lot and that has helped me in other ways. Things did get better in my 30s, and life is pretty good nowadays.

[renate]

49. I wonder what a Wallflower Dance would have looked like!

I mean, the obvious answer would be all of us around the edge of the room staring at our shoes, and the dance floor empty. But I wonder... if we ALL knew that EVERYBODY there was shy, and nice... would we have all had the courage to just get out there and dance?

Anyway, I'm glad your life is good!

[rocktivity]

44. Make sure your thank you message is seen

Join the official unofficial DU "Thanks For My Hearts" thread!

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181043874


rocktivity

[renate]

48. thank you!

I looked for one but somehow missed it. Thanks very much!

[ProudProgressiveNow]

47. K&R nt

[TexasBushwhacker]

50. Right there with ya n/t

[AJT]

54. "I learned the truth at 17, that love was meant for beauty queens...."

That song came out when I was an ugly duckling 17 year old. Thank you Janis Ian for letting me know I wasn't alone.

[Raine]

55. VERY true

I was so shy in high school I was never part of any crowd. I pretty much blended into the background unnoticed, it really does mean a lot to get hearts!

[CottonBear]

57. I would like to say thanks so much for my 💕 hearts ♥️!

I’ve been a DU member for over 13 years now, but I don’t post that much.

Thank you to those who gave me hearts!

And, thank you to all of y’all DUers for being awesome!

DU is a constant in my life. It helps keep me well-informed., sane and entertained! 🙂

[MineralMan]

58. Yay! You have lots of hearts now!

I went to a small high school in California. One of the things that school system did, in middle school, or junior high, as it was called back in the very late 50s, was to teach dancing in PE class. Once a week the 7th and 8th graders went into the little gym at the junior high and learned to dance. We also learned the polite nuances of asking people to dance, and were encouraged (or ordered) to dance with partners selected at random by the teachers.

The other thing we got in that junior high school dance class was instruction on other sorts of etiquette, such as asking girls who weren't dancing to dance. Every junior high school boy got those lessons, even though most 12 and 13 year old boys weren't all that interested in dancing OR girls at the time.

The result was that, at school dances later in high school, some of the boys put what was taught into action. The wallflower line got asked to dance on a regular basis. It also helped the shy boys have to courage to go and ask girls to dance, because we had practiced that in those middle school dance class sessions. I remember those dances in the girl's gym. I was one of those shy boys, at least at first, and one of the ones who went over and asked girls who weren't dancing if I could have the next dance. I met lots of nice people that way, and even a couple of girlfriends.

All of that was between 1957 and 1963, when I graduated from high school. Those lessons that most of us boys didn't like turned out to be our introduction into the social graces. Those of us who learned those lessons well got to dance with lots of different girls. It was a great idea for the school to do that.