Trump Considering Firing Dow Jones Industrial Average

[G_j]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-considering-firing-dow-jones-industrial-average/amp


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After watching it suffer its worst losses since he became President, Donald Trump is “seriously considering” firing the Dow Jones industrial Average, aides have confirmed.

According to the aides, Trump is “furious” at the D.J.I.A. for going down so precipitously and believes that it has treated him “very unfairly.”

En route to an appearance in Ohio, Trump stopped short of saying that he would ask for the stock market index’s resignation, but his contempt for the Dow was palpable.

“The Dow Jones Industrial Average is a disgrace, and it should be very, very ashamed of itself,” he said.

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[Proud Liberal Dem]

1. I'm glad to see Borowitz is still around

I hadn't seen him write anything for awhile for some reason.

[Hortensis]

2. Lol. Too slow, Rump, but do it now anyway.

This is good for the midterms, even if it returns to previous levels before long.

Republicans don't do uncertainty and fear well, something Rump knows all too well.

Otoh, with all my worries about the future under them, I don't mind a scary correction, with thousands of paper retirement dollars vanishing in a morning, in the least. Not if it scares and disillusions Republican voters more.

[Throck]

3. After reading that I'll never let Dow Jones date my sister.

Don't care how rich he is either.

[G_j]

4. Little Dow Jones

What a loser!

[alterfurz]

5. Thanks, Doug Jones...NOT!

...Roy Moore would never have let this happen! -- @realDonaldTrump