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smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts) Thu Jan 18, 2018, 12:20 AM Jan 2018

Follow-Up Tests Confirm President Trumps 19 Other Personalities Also Perfectly Healthy

https://politics.theonion.com/follow-up-tests-confirm-president-trump-s-19-other-pers-1822165668

WASHINGTON—After yesterday’s announcement that the president received a perfect score on his cognitive assessment, White House physician Ronny L. Jackson told reporters Wednesday that follow-up tests confirmed that President Trump’s 19 other personalities are also perfectly healthy. “After an extensive psychological evaluation, we’ve determined that Tommy JoJo, Professor O’Shannassy, Officer Pittz, and each of the president’s 16 other identities are in good condition,” said Jackson, adding that each distinct psychic identity, from Little Holly Anne Tibblseby to DJ Pump ’Em Up, demonstrated robust mental acuity, emotional stability, and memory function.

“Despite the advanced age of Ol’ Jack the 70-year-old New York cabby and Civil War colonel Virgil Conway, none of President Trump’s personalities exhibited signs of neurological deterioration. Even 3-year-old Jacky demonstrated the clarity and intellectual fitness required to handle the presidency.” At press time, however, Jackson reported the emergence of a volatile Fred Trump personality, which was in a constant state of agitation and which left the president exhausted long after it returned control of his mind.

7 replies

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Follow-Up Tests Confirm President Trumps 19 Other Personalities Also Perfectly Healthy (Original Post) smirkymonkey Jan 2018 OP

LOL! highplainsdem Jan 2018 #1

And, it's already been confirmed that every Cha Jan 2018 #2

Yes Cha! smirkymonkey Jan 2018 #6

Still kicking.. Mahalo! Cha Jan 2018 #7

Dr. Ronny: " How Many House Seats Do Repubs Have?".. Trump: 239... Grassy Knoll Jan 2018 #3

This message was self-deleted by its author Kajun Gal Jan 2018 #4

Meanwhile Graham says that he "wants his golf pal friend BigmanPigman Jan 2018 #5

highplainsdem

(49,004 posts)

1. LOL!

Reply to smirkymonkey (Original post)

Thu Jan 18, 2018, 12:23 AM

Jan 2018

Cha

(297,323 posts)

2. And, it's already been confirmed that every

Reply to smirkymonkey (Original post)

Thu Jan 18, 2018, 12:27 AM

Jan 2018

personality is a complete asshole.

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)

6. Yes Cha!

Reply to Cha (Reply #2)

Thu Jan 18, 2018, 01:12 AM

Jan 2018

Mahalo!

Hope you are doing well!

Cha

(297,323 posts)

7. Still kicking.. Mahalo!

Reply to smirkymonkey (Reply #6)

Thu Jan 18, 2018, 01:54 AM

Jan 2018

hope you are doing well, smirky

Grassy Knoll

(10,118 posts)

3. Dr. Ronny: " How Many House Seats Do Repubs Have?".. Trump: 239...

Reply to smirkymonkey (Original post)

Thu Jan 18, 2018, 12:28 AM

Jan 2018

..Dr. Ronny: " Perfect, Then That's Your Weight As Well".

Trump: "Brilliant".

Response to smirkymonkey (Original post)

Kajun Gal This message was self-deleted by its author.

BigmanPigman

(51,611 posts)

5. Meanwhile Graham says that he "wants his golf pal friend

Reply to smirkymonkey (Original post)

Thu Jan 18, 2018, 12:42 AM

Jan 2018

back" who agreed to support DACA and McConnell said he will support whatever the president wants him to once he actually makes up his mind and sticks with it. Come on, man! The guy is not going to change. He doesn't mean anything for more than a nanosecond and tells us that "We will see about so and so in two weeks" constantly.

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