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Saviolo

(3,282 posts)
Thu Jan 11, 2018, 03:14 PM Jan 2018

I Made the Pizza Cinnamon Rolls from Mario Batalis Sexual Misconduct Apology Letter

*** Please note, this is not my writing ***

Found here:
http://www.everywhereist.com/i-made-the-pizza-cinnamon-rolls-from-mario-batalis-sexual-misconduct-apology-letter/

Last night, I made cinnamon rolls. I’m not a huge fan of cinnamon rolls, per se, but this recipe was included in Mario Batali’s sexual misconduct apology letter, and so I feel compelled to make them. Batali is not the first powerful man to request forgiveness for “inappropriate actions” towards his coworkers and employees. He is not the most high profile, and he is ostensibly not even the worst offender. But he is the only one who included a recipe.

And of course, the glaring question is why? Was his PR team drunk? Is life suddenly a really long, depressing SNL sketch? Do these cinnamon rolls somehow destroy the patriarchy? Does the icing advocate for equal pay?

I figure the only way to answer these questions is to make the damn rolls.

I find myself fluctuating between apathy and anger as I try to follow Batali’s recipe, which is sparse on details. The base of the rolls is pizza dough – Batali notes that you can either buy it, or use his recipe to make your own.

I make my own, because I’m a woman, and for us there are no fucking shortcuts. We spend 25 years working our asses off to be the most qualified Presidential candidate in U.S. history and we get beaten out by a sexual deviant who likely needs to call the front desk for help when he’s trying to order pornos in his hotel room.

Donald Trump is President, so I’m making the goddamn dough by scratch.

I think about the time that I was an intern at a local news station, and assigned to hand out cake while celebrating some milestone (it had to do with the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics.) One of the producers I’d been working with closely walked up to the table.

“Do you want a piece?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said, looking me up and down. “Oh, you mean of cake? No thanks.” He and another male staff member laughed while I stood, holding a piece of cake in each hand, dumbstruck.

Batali does not specify how tightly to roll the dough. I do so too tightly because fuck everything.

I think I’ve used too much dough.

I think about how the last conversation about compensation I had resulted in someone who made more yearly than I ever will telling me I was holding them “emotionally hostage” and then demanding to know, over and over again why I needed the money.

“Just tell me,” they demanded. “Tell me why you need it.” Over and over until it broke me.

If they are edible, I will eat every single one of these fucking rolls myself.


This is devastatingly sharp writing, and I love it.
13 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I Made the Pizza Cinnamon Rolls from Mario Batalis Sexual Misconduct Apology Letter (Original Post) Saviolo Jan 2018 OP
Excellent +1 Me. Jan 2018 #1
That was pretty amazing ellie Jan 2018 #2
Yes, good writing. Wonder how those damn rolls turned out. I also wish she had told... brush Jan 2018 #3
There's more at the link... Saviolo Jan 2018 #6
I find this offensive... brooklynite Jan 2018 #4
Brilliant! Pacifist Patriot Jan 2018 #5
"... I keep eating them. Like Im somehow destroying Batalis shitty sexist horcrux in every bite." knightmaar Jan 2018 #7
K & R geardaddy Jan 2018 #8
You should go to the link, there are photos. TNNurse Jan 2018 #9
Great writing, read all of it ... ending is a good learn uponit7771 Jan 2018 #10
Oh wow trotsky Jan 2018 #11
Brilliant - thanks for sharing (nt) klook Jan 2018 #12
K&R betsuni Jan 2018 #13

brush

(53,784 posts)
3. Yes, good writing. Wonder how those damn rolls turned out. I also wish she had told...
Thu Jan 11, 2018, 03:34 PM
Jan 2018

that a-hole she needed the money to shove up his you know what.

A lot of women go through a lot of crap.

I doubt after all these sexual assault revelations they'll be voting for trump/repugs in the same numbers in '18 and '20.

Saviolo

(3,282 posts)
6. There's more at the link...
Thu Jan 11, 2018, 03:51 PM
Jan 2018

She does describe how they turn out, and she's not overly fond of them.

trotsky

(49,533 posts)
11. Oh wow
Thu Jan 11, 2018, 05:46 PM
Jan 2018

"Like I’m somehow destroying Batali’s shitty sexist horcrux in every bite."

Damn, that is indeed some fine writing. LOL!

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