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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI Made the Pizza Cinnamon Rolls from Mario Batalis Sexual Misconduct Apology Letter
*** Please note, this is not my writing ***
Found here:
http://www.everywhereist.com/i-made-the-pizza-cinnamon-rolls-from-mario-batalis-sexual-misconduct-apology-letter/
Last night, I made cinnamon rolls. Im not a huge fan of cinnamon rolls, per se, but this recipe was included in Mario Batalis sexual misconduct apology letter, and so I feel compelled to make them. Batali is not the first powerful man to request forgiveness for inappropriate actions towards his coworkers and employees. He is not the most high profile, and he is ostensibly not even the worst offender. But he is the only one who included a recipe.
And of course, the glaring question is why? Was his PR team drunk? Is life suddenly a really long, depressing SNL sketch? Do these cinnamon rolls somehow destroy the patriarchy? Does the icing advocate for equal pay?
I figure the only way to answer these questions is to make the damn rolls.
I find myself fluctuating between apathy and anger as I try to follow Batalis recipe, which is sparse on details. The base of the rolls is pizza dough Batali notes that you can either buy it, or use his recipe to make your own.
I make my own, because Im a woman, and for us there are no fucking shortcuts. We spend 25 years working our asses off to be the most qualified Presidential candidate in U.S. history and we get beaten out by a sexual deviant who likely needs to call the front desk for help when hes trying to order pornos in his hotel room.
Donald Trump is President, so Im making the goddamn dough by scratch.
I think about the time that I was an intern at a local news station, and assigned to hand out cake while celebrating some milestone (it had to do with the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics.) One of the producers Id been working with closely walked up to the table.
Do you want a piece? I asked.
Yeah, he said, looking me up and down. Oh, you mean of cake? No thanks. He and another male staff member laughed while I stood, holding a piece of cake in each hand, dumbstruck.
Batali does not specify how tightly to roll the dough. I do so too tightly because fuck everything.
I think Ive used too much dough.
I think about how the last conversation about compensation I had resulted in someone who made more yearly than I ever will telling me I was holding them emotionally hostage and then demanding to know, over and over again why I needed the money.
Just tell me, they demanded. Tell me why you need it. Over and over until it broke me.
If they are edible, I will eat every single one of these fucking rolls myself.
And of course, the glaring question is why? Was his PR team drunk? Is life suddenly a really long, depressing SNL sketch? Do these cinnamon rolls somehow destroy the patriarchy? Does the icing advocate for equal pay?
I figure the only way to answer these questions is to make the damn rolls.
I find myself fluctuating between apathy and anger as I try to follow Batalis recipe, which is sparse on details. The base of the rolls is pizza dough Batali notes that you can either buy it, or use his recipe to make your own.
I make my own, because Im a woman, and for us there are no fucking shortcuts. We spend 25 years working our asses off to be the most qualified Presidential candidate in U.S. history and we get beaten out by a sexual deviant who likely needs to call the front desk for help when hes trying to order pornos in his hotel room.
Donald Trump is President, so Im making the goddamn dough by scratch.
I think about the time that I was an intern at a local news station, and assigned to hand out cake while celebrating some milestone (it had to do with the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics.) One of the producers Id been working with closely walked up to the table.
Do you want a piece? I asked.
Yeah, he said, looking me up and down. Oh, you mean of cake? No thanks. He and another male staff member laughed while I stood, holding a piece of cake in each hand, dumbstruck.
Batali does not specify how tightly to roll the dough. I do so too tightly because fuck everything.
I think Ive used too much dough.
I think about how the last conversation about compensation I had resulted in someone who made more yearly than I ever will telling me I was holding them emotionally hostage and then demanding to know, over and over again why I needed the money.
Just tell me, they demanded. Tell me why you need it. Over and over until it broke me.
If they are edible, I will eat every single one of these fucking rolls myself.
This is devastatingly sharp writing, and I love it.
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I Made the Pizza Cinnamon Rolls from Mario Batalis Sexual Misconduct Apology Letter (Original Post)
Saviolo
Jan 2018
OP
Yes, good writing. Wonder how those damn rolls turned out. I also wish she had told...
brush
Jan 2018
#3
Me.
(35,454 posts)1. Excellent +1
ellie
(6,929 posts)2. That was pretty amazing
Thank you!
brush
(53,784 posts)3. Yes, good writing. Wonder how those damn rolls turned out. I also wish she had told...
that a-hole she needed the money to shove up his you know what.
A lot of women go through a lot of crap.
I doubt after all these sexual assault revelations they'll be voting for trump/repugs in the same numbers in '18 and '20.
Saviolo
(3,282 posts)6. There's more at the link...
She does describe how they turn out, and she's not overly fond of them.
brooklynite
(94,588 posts)4. I find this offensive...
No gluten-free option?
Pacifist Patriot
(24,653 posts)5. Brilliant!
Thank you for sharing!
knightmaar
(748 posts)7. "... I keep eating them. Like Im somehow destroying Batalis shitty sexist horcrux in every bite."
geardaddy
(24,931 posts)8. K & R
Wonderful writing!
TNNurse
(6,927 posts)9. You should go to the link, there are photos.
Thanks for this.
uponit7771
(90,346 posts)10. Great writing, read all of it ... ending is a good learn
trotsky
(49,533 posts)11. Oh wow
"Like Im somehow destroying Batalis shitty sexist horcrux in every bite."
Damn, that is indeed some fine writing. LOL!
klook
(12,155 posts)12. Brilliant - thanks for sharing (nt)