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I happen to know the Secret of Everything and would be willing to share this wonderful secret with you for a few hundred dollars. The Secret of Everything will transform your life in ways you cannot comprehend. The air you breathe will be sweeter and the food you eat will taste better. Not only that, the Secret of Everything will instantly make you (not in any particular order) a chef, an auto mechanic, a mime, an Octagon fighter, a cyborg and a concert pianist. In addition to the above, The Secret of Everything will allow you to read minds, juggle chainsaws, increase the size of your penis and it will grow hair like Stalin’s on ANY head. This secret will make you a BAJILLION, GAZILLION dollars almost overnight. How can I make such a claim, well it’s quite simple actually! I use ALL CAPS on the really important parts of my post.
Some of you might be wondering where I found the Secret of Everything. I stumbled upon the secret when I was in my early twenties while I was working as yard-jockey model and part-time, professional housecat wrangler. One day as I was driving from an eight hour gig at my yard-jockey model job, I had a terrible car accident and was thrown from the vehicle into a stream. I think the reason I wrecked was because my arm was so tired after holding that stupid lantern for 8 hours. Anyway, back to the story. Once I hit the stream, my body was carried away by the raging water. I must have blacked out because when I awoke, I was laying in a trash strewn bank of a river near a city of some sort. I crawled and scratched my way up a steep enbankment and found myself in front of a Hooters Restaurant. My clothes were shredded and I was covered in mud and bleeding. I staggered into the Hooters for help. When I walked into the lobby a few of the Hooters girls began screaming and before I could say anything some big guys came over, grabbed me and threw me back down the ravine I had just climbed out of moments before. Needless to say, I was in shock and about to give up when I heard a small voice coming from an old bottle of Mad Dog near my head as I lay on the bank of the river. As I listened closer, it appeared the tiny voice was singing “rollin’ down the road smokin’ Indo sippin on Gin & Juice…laid back…with my mind on money and my money on my mind”. I instantly recognized the catchy tune as being by Snoop Dog. I grabbed the bottle and peered inside. Let’s just say that I was stunned, amazed and frightened to my very core by what I saw…
So any of you that want to hear the rest of the story, just send me an email and I will reveal exactly what it was that day I found in the bottle of Mad Dog on that muddy, river embankment outside the Hooters on Route 8 and how this AMAZING discovery can help you in your life.
Lastly, after I send the Secret of Everything there is a follow-up call from a mentor that will “get their hands dirty with you” as you begin to use the Secret in your own life. You can, of course, upgrade your knowledge by purchasing the second part of the course that we only reveal to those that bought the first part – The Secret of Everything AND MORE!!!!!!!!!!!
Call now! My lazy brother-in-law is waiting for your call! Cheers!
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