Family of plane crash victims in dispute with school

[The Straight Story]

Family of plane crash victims in dispute with school


WESLEY CHAPEL, Fla. - Shelly Woods knows how painful the last year has been. “It’s been a difficult time,” she says.

Woods has been grieving since last June, when her best friend, Ronni Ulrich, was killed in a plane crash in Arizona. Ulrich’s husband, Jeff, and their daughters Lexi and Carlie also died.

...

The family felt better, though, when a teacher from Seven Oaks Elementary School, where Carlie went to school, proposed a picnic table in Carlie's honor. Carlie used to have lunch with her mother often at the school; the picnic table was intended to be a tribute to that occurrence.

The idea evolved to include a plaque reading “Carlie’s Corner” and a dedication event, celebrating Carlie’s life. The family strongly supported having a dedication event during the school year, to let the students know “Carlie’s Corner” was intended to be “a happy place.”

The idea stalled, though, when some parents at the school voiced concerns about the idea. They told the principal that reading Carlie’s name on the plaque would force their kids to relive the tragedy.

http://www.abcactionnews.com/dpp/news/region_pasco/wesley_chapel/family-of-plane-crash-victims-angry-at-school

[Hannah Bell]

1. it appears the dispute began with other parents, not with the school.

i don't understand why parents think it's a good idea for kids to be totally sheltered from death.

experience with death helps people put things in perspective, imo.

[pinboy3niner]

2. Moreover, acknowledging their loss...

...helps to prevent psychological suppression of the experience.

Grief counselors come into schools after such losses precisely to encourage the kids to acknowledge it, and talk about it, because, while we still don't understand a lot about PTSD, we know that early intervention can mitigate the consequences. Forcing these kids to bury it, and just forget about it, is the worst possible approach.

It's one thing to shelter kids from death, and loss, in the abstract. When it happens to them in real life, we have to be able to help them to deal with it--and trying to suppress that experience for them, to suppress reality, only invites more difficulties for them in the future.

[Hannah Bell]

4. personally, i hate the idea of "grief counselors". nothing personal, i just

think it's another example of how capitalism turns everything into "work".

imo, what kids should learn is how their community & culture acknowledges and deals with death. i don't think a "professional" is required. but i agree, ignoring the death of a child's peer is the worst possible approach. trivializes death, doesn't honor the dead child = makes life meaningless, & implies to the survivors that their absence would also make no difference to anyone.

[pinboy3niner]

5. One reason grief counseling is important...

..is because the family and others often encourage denial of the loss.

My personal experience with PTSD taught me, belatedly, to understand that not facing a loss, just suppressing it, and being in denial, only compounds the emotional consequences over time.

I think those grief counselors are far closer to socialistic ideas than to capitalism.

[Brickbat]

3. Reading her name would make them relive the tragedy? How sad to think that way.

Note to parents: Your child is not a pwecious snowfwake. She can handle a lot more than you think, and should.

[liberalhistorian]

6. I don't understand these parents at all. I lost a friend during my

sophomore year of high school; she and most of her family died in a small plane crash over the Thanksgiving break. The school and her classmates put up a plaque for her in the garden walkway at the front of the school; we all thought it was a wonderful way to remember her and that she'd be remembered long after we had all left the school. Thirty years later, it's still there and still a good way of honoring her; current students ask about it and her memory is kept alive. We never thought it was too painful to look at and I don't think we'd even have considered that; in fact, the opposite was true. It was comforting to be around the memorial. For most of us, it was our first introduction to the mortality of those our age; while it was horrible, it certainly didn't destroy or weaken us. Parents today have got to stop this helicopter, sheltering nonsense; how the hell do they expect their children to function well in the outside world if they don't?

[ChazII]

7. A similar incident occurred when

I was in high school. Several students lost their lives while tubing in the Colorado River. A small plaque and a tree were put up honor their lives.

Helicopter parents need to let their children grow.

[TahitiNut]

8. We're no better at dealing with the death of folks close to us ...

... than our remote ancestors, millions of years ago. Indeed, it seems to me we're worse.

:cry: