Well, here's the unmitigated good news. TV pitchman, Kevin Trudeau, jailed for a month.

[No Elephants]

Finally!

This snake oil salesman has been defrauding the insomniac members of the public with his infommercials for years.

Yeah, I know, shame on them. But caveat emptor is not the law of this land. Yeah, I know, wait until we sign TPP.

Anyway, enjoy:

TV Pitchman Pleads for Mercy, Jailed Anyway
CHICAGO October 22, 2013 (AP)
By MICHAEL TARM Associated Press


A federal judge rejected an impassioned plea from a television pitchman for his freedom on Tuesday, ordering U.S. Marshals to lock up Kevin Trudeau for failing to pay a $37 million civil judgment.

The visibly exasperated judge had already ordered that Trudeau be jailed during a hearing in Chicago when Trudeau stood up and asked if he could address the court. The Federal Trade Commission won the judgment after accusing Trudeau of hoodwinking viewers about his weight-loss books.

"There are no more assets to turn over, your honor," the 50-year-old Trudeau insisted during a 10-minute plea, at times striking a note of desperation. "I'm going to be incarcerated ... and I don't know what to do."

Judge Robert Gettleman seemed unimpressed.

"Thank you, Mr. Trudeau," he said flatly. "My order stands."

The judge then directed two marshals to lead Trudeau out of the courtroom and take him to a nearby jail.

Gettleman, like FTC lawyers, balked at Trudeau's insistence that he is penniless — noting that he recently spent hundreds of dollars on cigars and a haircut.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory/tv-pitchman-pleads-mercy-jailed-20646156

If Trudeau has no access to assets, I'll eat his entire book remainder.