Sexual abuse in a small town

[yesphan]

With all the coverage about what's going on at Penn State, I've been thinking about the plight of
children being molested in small, less media worthy places. In particular, in my case, a small town in the Midwest.
As a child, my pediatrician molested me every time I went to see him. Hell, I just thought it was part of being examined.
I hated every second of it and would just watch the animated cat clock on the wall while he did his thing. " Hey doc, my throat
is sore and my tonsils are swollen, why are you doing that"? In the early '60's there was no thought of this kind of thing going on so mom just sat in the lobby waiting for me to come out. This went on for years and it went on, as it turns out, for so many of us kids that went to see this doctor. He was eventually exposed and long after he retired, a documentary film was made and recently released.

http://www.inatownthissize.com/inatownthissize.com/Welcome.html

I know the big question is " how come nobody (me) said anything and how could he get away with this for so long"? Good questions that I can't answer. As I said earlier, I just thought it was part of being examined. I'm just a little kid, what do I know ?

To wrap up, I just want to say that as tragic as what happened at Penn State is, this crap is happening all over the place, all the time. "Big time" universities, religious groups, small towns and homes.

Because of all the coverage, this Sandusky guy is screwed. My pediatrician is still living in my home town, free as a bird, goes to church every Sunday and enjoys the sunlight of freedom and probably will for the rest of his life.

Just sayin......

[JanMichael]

1. No comment other than I am sorry. nt

Edit: I hate that sort of differential in harsh personal responsibility v. no repercussion due to the level exposure due to popular interest. It's not forgivable.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. ...

:hug:

[xfundy]

3. Turn the bastard in.

[yesphan]

5. He was exposed a long time ago

Nothing has happened...........

A physician in a small town... What can I say, where is justice ?

[Name removed]

4. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[valerief]

6. You and the other victims could occupy his front yard. Hope all is well with you. nt

[yesphan]

7. I don't live there anymore,

but I will pass that idea along as it is a good one. The doc is now quite elderly, but what the hell.
Just in case he's not sure that what he did was wrong.

[valerief]

9. An asshole is never too old to pay for his sins. nt

[Spazito]

8. Very powerful OP...

"I just want to say that as tragic as what happened at Penn State is, this crap is happening all over the place, all the time. "Big time" universities, religious groups, small towns and homes."

It is happening "all over the place, all the time" and we, as a society, must begin dealing with it instead of ignoring it, covering it up, marginalizing it. The safety of children must become our highest priority instead of the low one it is now.


A very courageous and powerful OP.

Thank you for posting it.

Recommend.

[lunatica]

10. Yeah. Crap happens all over the place to many of us.

My hope is that more parents are aware that they need to tell their children that this is not right. Had I known it was wrong and had I been given the knowledge of what I could do if such a thing happened, it wouldn't have happened. I certainly knew to stop any sexual overtures when I was a few years older even if it scared me to do it because I had finally found out it was wrong.

[cyglet]

11. Even when I was a kid...commonplace...

"Has anyone ever touched you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable?"

[lunatica]

18. How old are you?

I'm 63 years old. In my youth pedophilia wasn't common knowledge.

[JohnnyLib2]

19. Same here. And segregation was alive, early in my youth.

Times, they do change.

[in_cog_ni_to]

12. We had a local Pediatrician who did the same thing. That rat bastard

didn't have the balls to face his accusers and committed suicide after he was caught...the day after he was caught.

I'm sorry you had to live through that. :( You and all the other kids he molested should make him pay. I cannot believe he walks free. Free to molest MORE kids.

[yesphan]

13. He doesn't practice anymore

and hasn't for a long time. I think he has restraining orders, etc., but no trial or jail time.

I'm sorry that you too had to endure those moments. :hug:

[in_cog_ni_to]

15. I was an adult when the bastard started practicing here.

Everyone in town just LOVED the new pediatrician. He was a good friend of the doctor I worked for. The doctor I worked for use to take his 4 children to him. I knew him only because his practice was in the same medical building. I wasn't a patient. He got caught after crawling into bed with a little boy who was at his house for a sleepover with his son. The little boy started screaming and ran out of the house. He was arrested that night, released the next day and killed himself in his garage that day. He didn't have the balls to face up to what he had done.

The doctor who is walking free in your small town should still pay for his crimes. Pedophiles RARELY stop molesting children. He's probably still doing it.

[yesphan]

24. Wow, parallels here.

My father was a physician (not a pediatrician) who had his office in the same center as well. Next door if I remember.
he and the abuser were friends , but to what extent I do not know.
Me and my two siblings were all victims. Sometimes I wonder if somehow my dad might have known something was going on as surely, over the years, rumors and murmurs of this stuff had to get around. Why was nothing done ? "Professional courtesy" ? I'll never know.

[JohnnyLib2]

14. Thanks for this OP. I'll order the DVD, maybe donate it.

Your story is similar to bits and pieces I remember from the 50s and 60s. It took several years to understand what
"be careful around Mr. ______, he's a little funny/too friendly/a little off" actually meant.

Maybe someone here knows: when did the term "sexual abuse" become widespread?

[KT2000]

16. The coverage now

will probably help children in all parts of the country. They will recognize that it is not OK, that they should tell someone and the perpetrators may experience some fear that they could be caught too.
A woman on Anderson Cooper keeps telling everyone that there are so many mechanisms that keep this a secret that we do not often even know about it happening. I really hope this event does change things for at least some of the children.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

[pansypoo53219]

17. Freud discovered this when he was younger, but others didn't

believe it so he came up with his other 'ideas' about id and penis envy + shit. we have to catch these people before they can victimize more.

[JPZenger]

20. Repeat Child Molesters in Hershey PA and Lewes Del

Lewes Delaware had a horrible case in which a pediatrician was a repeat child molester. It is amazing it took so long to catch him. The owner of the office building demolished it because it caused such bad memories among so many people. He apparently had moved around periodically from state to state to avoid getting caught.

The Hershey PA also had a repeat child molester for years. One weekends, he lived with his mother, who was an employee at the large Milton Hershey School for kids in need. The School received a credible report of molestation from a mother and her attorney. Even though the police were called, they didn't do anything. He went onto molest many more kids over the next decade, until he was eventually caught by a sharp-eyed detective from another police department who did not have the benefit of knowing about the earlier incident.

[Fumesucker]

21. K&R, thanks for posting.. n/t

[raccoon]

22. Thanks for posting. In the early 60's, as you say, this sort of thing was under the radar.

So was date rape, wife beating, child abuse.

Sorry this happened to you.

[Xithras]

23. They just look the other way.

I've spoken about my sexual abuse before, and experienced much the same as you. I was raised in a small California town of about 2,500 people (back then, it's much bigger now), and my sister and I were sexually abused by a husband and wife over a several-year period, when the wife was supposed to be babysitting us. You can search the archives for my previous discussions about it if you want the gory details, but suffice it to say that the couple was pretty sick. The abuse finally stopped in 1983 when my sister mentioned it to one of her friends, who passed the information along to her school principal.

What happened next? The husband was a member of one of the towns "founding families", was a reputable local business owner, and was a "respected citizen". The principal called my mother, who called the police, who in turn went over and "talked to him". In the end, the only result of the discovery of this information was that his wife was no longer allowed to babysit us. I was told flat out by a police officer, "Even if you aren't lying and it really happened, it's your word against his, and nobody is going to believe your word." Nothing was done to prosecute them, CPS never became involved, and nothing was done to protect their daughter, who was about 10 years old and was raped regularly right alongside us (the police did question her, but she claimed that we'd made it up, and the police simply took her at her word).

He lived as a free man in his hometown until he finally died in the early 90's. His wife, who was an accomplice and an active participant in our abuse, still lives there today. Their daughter moved out on her 18th birthday and vanished into the SF Bay Area. She apparently changed her name, and an attempt by my sister to track her down about a decade ago didn't turn anything up.

Small towns are a whole different world. When everyone knows everyone, nobody wants to think that the "good old boy they've known for decades" can do something like that. It's doubly true if they're from a "good family". They just look the other way.

[riderinthestorm]

25. The confusion most people feel about how the Penn State folks looked away from Sandusky's pedophilia

isn't matched by the reality in that most children are molested regularly by those they know. Then they have to live with, go to school with, interact daily with their abusers. It's far, far more common for children (and adults) to simply endure the abuse and even go on as adults and continue to have (some kind of) a relationship.

Because that's how much child sexual abuse destroys a child's ability to understand real world dynamics (among other things). I know that doesn't excuse the adults, but the fact is when you have a town leader or authority figure or other "powerful" person like a clergy member, even the adults are hamstrung.

Great OP and so sorry you've had to go through this. You are an inspiration though on DU, educating so many DUers (and lurkers).

[yesphan]

26. Thank you

and a most excellent response. Very well stated.

[riderinthestorm]

27. A belated welcome to DU! nt

[RainDog]

28. k&r n/t

[Bryn]

29. It's never too late to turn him in. Do something...

a very big hug for you.

I was sexually abused by my step father when I was little like 3 years old, but lucky for me my mother caught him when I was 11 and had him arrested in 1962. He was in prison for 9 years.

When he was released I actually had all thoughts of torturing him, etc. but lucky for me he dropped dead of a heart attack at age of 50! Ha!!!!

Please don't let that elder guy go free. Even they caught Nazi men and punished them even if they were elder.