Microsoft(?!) patent application for controlled, modified parasites

[charlie]

The idea is to unleash altered, remotely controlled mosquitoes, flukes, and the like to deliver innoculations or treatments for the diseases they'd ordinarily carry.

Commence with the service pack jokes...

Electronics can be adapted to exploit novel methods of monitoring body functions and delivering useful substances to the body, including treatment of malaria and monitoring and/or treating other bodily conditions. By modifying or making a parasitic organism that can be programmatically controlled by a stimulus external to the altered parasitic organism, the parasitic organism can be a powerful tool in delivering therapeutic compounds. Control over the function of the parasitic organism permits the selective activation of a treatment protocol, since the altered parasitic organism has the inherent ability to conduct nanoscale manufacturing of one or more beneficial substances. Rather than build nanomachines from scratch, altered parasitic organisms can be exploited as custom designed nanomachines that manufacture and/or deliver useful substances or payloads to a host. In order to effectively manage the host's condition, the modified parasitic organism can be used to deliver beneficial care and/or to record the internal state of the host...
...

1. A system that facilitates delivery of a fluid or biological material to a living body, comprising:an altered parasitic organism, wherein an alteration to the altered parasitic organism includes at least a termination function capable of receiving a termination signal and wherein the termination signal results in the death or reduced viability of the altered parasitic organism;an interface component that facilitates delivery of the termination signal and facilitates receipt of or delivery of data associated with the condition of the living body; andan operation component that analyzes received data associated with the condition of the living body or provides data delivery to the altered parasitic organism.

2. The system of claim 1, the living body comprising a human being.

3. The system of claim 1, the altered parasitic organism is one species selected from the group comprising: mosquitoes, fleas, ticks, bed bugs (Cimicidae Cimex lectularius), midges (such as Ceratopogonidae), other blood sucking arthropods, annelids or leeches, nematodes such as Ascaris lumbricoides (roundworm which typically invades the gastrointestinal tract and lungs), pinworms such as Enterobius vermicularis (gastrointestinal tract, colon, fingertips), whipworms such as Trichuris trichiuria (gastrointestinal tract), flukes or trematodes such as Fasciola hepatica, Fasciolopsis buski (intestinal fluke) and schistosomes (liver and gallbladder), tapeworms or cestodes such as those from the genus Taenia (gastrointestinal tract), hookworms, heart worms, roundworms, lice (head, body, and pubic), and the like...

http://appft1.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PG01&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsrchnum.html&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1=%2220110010782%22.PGNR.&OS=DN/20110010782&RS=DN/20110010782

[RKP5637]

1. "Fatal error - please reboot."

[freshwest]

2. Wonder about that definition of 'parasites.' Wall St. bankers?

[SpiralHawk]

3. They can stick their freaking MS Republicon parasites where the Sun don't shine

Keep that MS RepubliCrapola away from us human beings. Inflict it on Fellow Traveler RepuliBaggers if they must - but stay away from the humans...

That is all. The RepubliBaggers may crawl back into their parent's basements now...

[Occulus]

4. A friend of mine went to get a stress test at a hospital

They hooked up the heart monitor.....

.....it played the Windows XP startup sound. Not the computer it was hooked up to, no- it was the heart monitor itself.

He almost died there and then. All I did was weep :D

[Cerridwen]

6. Shame on me!

I laughed, am laughing so hard reading that.

:rofl:

I'm going to hell.

:spank:

[Odin2005]

10. OMG, ROFLMAO!!!

[Hannah Bell]

5. One of the benefits of Gates' "philanthropy" is access to patentable research & first dibs.

[lumberjack_jeff]

7. No, no. That's 'the blue screen o' he's just sleeping' n/t

[formercia]

8. Available by subscription only

Anyone catching the organism in an unauthorized manner will be prosecuted to the full extent of the Law.

So much for Oral Sex.

[Monk06]

9. Work locally, patent globally. Reminds me of the Edison, Tesla battles.

He who gets to the patent office first, wins.

Or in the Microsoft world, "Patent everything and
let God sort it out." With the proviso that Microsoft
is God.