Poll: In Head-to-Head Matchup, Obama Who Ran in 2008 Would Trounce Current Obama says Borowitz

[Mira]

SEPTEMBER 26, 2011
Poll: In Head-to-Head Matchup, Obama Who Ran in 2008 Would Trounce Current Obama
Popularity of Old Obama Spells Trouble for New One


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – According to a new poll of likely Democratic voters, if a primary contest were held today between the Barack Obama who ran for President in 2008 and the current Obama, the Old Obama would beat the New Obama by a margin of three to one.

While the numbers reflect the enduring popularity of the 2008 Obama, they spell big trouble for the 2011 Obama, who is seeking reelection in 2012.

Most troubling for the President, a significant number of voters -- nearly twenty-five percent -- no longer believe that the 2008 Obama and the current Obama are the same person.

At the White House, press secretary Jay Carney attempted to silence the skepticism of the so-called “Differenters,” the growing movement of people who believe that the 2008 Obama and the current one are two completely different men.

“The President has said that he is willing to submit to a DNA test and he will be releasing a Certificate of Authenticity later this week,” Mr. Carney said. “Beyond that, we’re just going to have to take his word for it.”

In other political news, Texas Governor Rick Perry said today that he would participate in future Republican debates only if they were “open book.”

At a rally in South Carolina, Gov. Perry explained why he was uniquely qualified to be President: “The way I understand it, the main job of the executive branch is executing people.”

[Demeter]

1. That's no surprise

Primary him.

[HappyMe]

3. With whom? nt

[4_TN_TITANS]

2. Borowitz has been on fire lately..

the hits just keep coming.