Cows, like Rick Perry, are boring and stupid.

[phantom power]

Yes, yes, comparing cows to Rick Perry is unkind to cows.

Unlike 95% of Americans, I've actually known cowboys in my time, as in "men (and women) who work huge Western cattle ranches" kind of cowboys. The job always struck me as uniquely boring and people's attachment to it was baffling to me. You spend a lot of time.....watching cows. And if you've never watched a cow before, I can assure you, cows are not here to entertain us. Quite possibly the opposite. Cows, like Rick Perry, are boring and stupid. Perry is actually puffing certain aspects of his persona up in order to be considered more "authentic", a contradiction that should cause the concept of authenticity to fold up on itself and die, but unfortunately, in an America that cannot tell fantasy from reality, exaggerating your life in order to seem more authentic is surprisingly effective.

But outside and within the state of Texas, this idea that Texans are Real Men, and Real Men are stupid, violent assholes has this hold over people, and it pisses me the fuck off. It's bad for the country, bad for men and women, and bad for Texans as a whole, because it erases the truly vibrant culture of the state and replaces it with the image of a whooping redneck with shit for brains. Take, for instance, this bit of shameful business:

You may have heard the story of Cameron Todd Willingham, who was convicted and executed for murdering his daughters by setting fire to their house, a crime of which he was almost certainly innocent. As Politico recently reported, when the campaign of Republican senator Kay Baily Hutchinson, who was challenging Perry in a 2010 gubernatorial primary, considered raising the issue, they tested it with focus groups. One voter memorably told them, “It takes balls to execute an innocent man.”

Actually, it does not. It's an act of cowardice, as proved by Hutchinson's eventual fear of bringing it up. That's always the contradiction at the heart of the manly man business---it's about acting all tough, but preening masculinity is fundamentally an act of cowardice. It's rooted in insecurity and fear of how others will see you. When you kill an innocent man because you're too afraid to let him go because you live in fear of people who've decided that masculinity is mutually exclusive from morality, you are a coward. A quivering-in-your-boots, pissing-on-your-jeans coward.

http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/comments/authentic_texans_vs._blood_and_flesh_texans

[hifiguy]

1. Cows do taste good,

so they are vastly superior to pRick Perry.

[sinkingfeeling]

2. I don't think cows are stupid. Boring yes, stupid, no.

[hlthe2b]

3. really? Tell that to this cow and then tell us all WHO is stupid...

German Fugitive Cow, Yvonne, On The Run

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/16/german-cow-fugitive-yvonne_n_927258.html

A runaway cow has captivated the attention of the media, police authorities, hunters, animal rights activists and even the Hindu community.

All eyes are on Yvonne, the six-year-old fugitive cow.

The mayhem began in May when Yvonne escaped from a farm in Muehldorf, Germany, where she was being prepared for slaughter, reports Der Spiegel.

Making a new life for herself, the cow settled into the woods, grazing the Bavarian countryside, until she jumped in front of German police cars. Authorities deemed her a traffic threat and permitted hunters to shoot her, which outraged animal rights activists, reports the Guardian.

Spurring a conflict between animal rights activists and hunters, an Austrian animal protection group jumped into the mix. Conflicting reports suggest that the group either has offered, or has already bought the cow from her original farm for 700 euros, according to The Local.

Animal rights activists have done everything they can to save her. Unsuccessful attempts include sending her best friend and her own family members into the wild. But, according to Reuters, "Yvonne only took a look at them from a distance before running away again."

Animal activists recently even brought in a bull named Ernst to try to romance the clever animal. But, according to the Mirror, they soon discovered that the bull had been castrated, and the idea was a flop.

The Guardian reports another one of their endeavors entailed consulting an animal psychic:

Franziska Matti, an animal communication expert from Berne in Switzerland, said she had managed to contact Yvonne using telepathy. "I spoke to her yesterday and she said that she was fine but didn't feel ready to come out of hiding," said Matti. "She said she knew that Ernst had been waiting for her but that she was scared. She said she thought that humans would lock her up and she would no longer be free."

The Hindu community recently issued a statement calling for German authorities to withdraw permission for hunters to shoot her, saying the decision was ill advised, according to ANI.

After grabbing headlines, MSNBC reported that a German newspaper created a Facebook page and offered a reward of over $14,000 to anyone who can capture Yvonne.

Earlier this month, a bull broke free from a slaughterhouse in New York, but was later captured. In 2006, the "Unsinkable Molly B" made headlines as a cow who leapt a slaughterhouse gate and escaped death.

In 2008, the Humane Society uncovered animal cruelty at a major beef supplier's California slaughter plant:

In the video, workers are seen kicking cows, ramming them with the blades of a forklift, jabbing them in the eyes, applying painful electrical shocks and even torturing them with a hose and water in attempts to force sick or injured animals to walk to slaughter.

According to the Union of Concerned Scientists, over two percent of total heat-trapping emissions in the United States are due to beef production alone. This process produces emissions equivalent to what is emitted by 24 million cars, or 33 coal-fired power plants in a year.

[Worried senior]

5. I grew up on a farm

and I love cows. Don't like Rick Perry.

[Historic NY]

4. Perry would rather milk the bull.

[Drale]

6. I'd rather elect a cow to office, then any Republican alive today. /nt

[TheCowsCameHome]

7. How'd you like a smack in the udder, bub?

Knock off the trash talk.:rofl: